Happy Mealtimes for Healthy Kids

Lesson 4 Family Style Dining, Conversations, and Etiquette Lesson at a Glance Time Allowed (1 hour 40 minutes) 10-15 minutes 10-15 minutes

10-15 minutes 30 minutes

20 minutes 5 minutes

Topic

Activity

Introduction to Family Style Dining

• Family Style • Worksheet #3: Family Mealtime Checklist Style Mealtime • Open Discussion Checklist

Objective 1: Family Style Dining Advantages

Materials

• Ideal Family Style Meal

• Flip chart • Markers

Happy Mealtime

• Happy Mealtime Skit

Conclusion

• Open Discussion • Review Session

• Family Style Dining Materials Training Tool Kit

Objective 2: Family Style Dining and Purchasing

Objective 3: Implementing Family Style Dining

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Lesson 4 Family Style Dining, Conversations, and Etiquette OBJECTIVES: Upon completion of this lesson, the participants will be able to: • Understand the advantages for teachers of family style dining. • Understand the process of purchasing items to implement family style dining. • Implement an ideal mealtime using family style dining. SAY: Adults are responsible for planning and preparing healthy meals and snacks for children. Children are responsible for deciding which of the healthy foods offered they would like to eat and deciding how much they would like to eat. Our goal is not to just feed children, but rather, to meet the child’s nutritional needs today and create positive eating habits that last a lifetime through family style dining. Family style dining is such an important time for children. Family style dining implements several different skills that follow children for life. During mealtime, teachers should model appropriate behaviors, assisting in increasing social and language skills.

Family style dining reinforces social skills. This includes taking turns, passing food in serving dishes, saying please and thank you, and last helping to set the table for their friends. Children feel in control of their eating. They are able to take small servings of food and take additional food later in the meal. Children choose not to take a food item initially but change their minds as the meal proceeds. Family style dining encourages children to feel confident that additional food will be available throughout the meal.

OPEN DISCUSSION: How many of you use family style dining? Does it work well with your children? What are some of your concerns? Is this the first time for anyone to hear about family style dining?

STOP: Individual Activity

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Happy Mealtimes for Healthy Kids

SAY: Turn to Worksheet #3: Family Style Mealtime Checklist and complete the checklist. The checklist gives you an idea of what is expected during mealtime. We will not share our checklist, but we will talk about each section throughout this lesson.

In this lesson, you will learn the advantages for teachers when implementing family style dining. We will also learn what items to purchase for family style dining. Last, we will learn how to introduce and implement family style dining.

Family Style Dining Advantages

Objective 1: Upon completion of this lesson, the participants will be able to: • Understand the advantages for teachers of family style dining.

SAY: Teachers benefit from family style dining, just as kids do. All food is available at the start of the meal. The teachers can enjoy sitting with the children throughout the meal. Teachers can have a more relaxed meal knowing they will not be going back to the kitchen to get extra food or be responsible for other mealtime tasks.

When the teachers are sitting at the table with the children, it allows them to act as role models, demonstrating appropriate mealtime behavior for the children. When the teachers are at the table, it is more likely that they can redirect behaviors before it gets out of hand. This goes a long way toward maintaining a pleasant mealtime atmosphere throughout the meal. When we have a pleasant mealtime atmosphere, it is easy to enjoy pleasant conversation with the children and establish a relaxed family-like atmosphere.

Family style dining consists of serving food in bowls and platters and beverages in pitchers on the table and is the ideal method of offering food to young children. Our goal is to plan a transition that will assure that we can be successful in offering family style meals.

The most common mistake in starting family style meals is making the decision that it’s a good idea one day and putting bowls of food on the table the next day. Guess what? It’s likely to be a disaster!

STOP: Group Activity

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SAY: In your learning teams, take a moment to visualize an ideal meal served family style. What would it look like? Take a minute to write down some ideas. TRAINER’S TOOL: Allow the audience to brainstorm ideas. You may want to write these on a flip chart or suggest the participants write ideas on a chart and present their chart to the class. There are no right or wrong answers. Enthusiastically encourage more and more comments and the ideal meal. SAY: All of these are great; thank you for sharing.

Family Style Dining and Purchasing

Objective 2: Upon completion of this lesson, the participants will be able to: • Understand the process of purchasing items to implement family style dining.

SAY: When first starting out to implement family style dining, to be successful several items are needed. It is not recommended that you use your standard kitchen bowls. Typically kitchen bowls are not child friendly. To be safe and child accessible, items should be purchased that are specialized for children. Many of these items can be purchased at your local kitchen warehouse or specialty store. Items should include: • Plastic wide lip bowls and platters • Short handled hard plastic serving spoons • Cups • Pitchers • Plates • Spoons • Measuring cups • Plastic tongs • Cleanup supplies

SAY: After purchasing the items, what do you do? First send a letter home to parents explaining to them the new implementation. Ask parents to talk to their National Food Service Management Institute

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children about the new method of dining. In your trainer’s manual, Worksheet #4 is a sample family letter introducing family style dining. Second, during large group time, explain to the children that we will be implementing a new eating style. Explain the entire process to the children. The process can be practiced with empty serving dishes. An example: “Good morning boys and girls. Today we have something planned that is very fun and exciting. Has anyone heard of family style dining? Family style dining is an activity we do during mealtime. During breakfast, lunch, and snack, I will allow you to fill your own plate with foods you enjoy. Does this sound exciting? A couple of bowls with different items will be placed on the table. Each bowl will have a spoon. Because we share with our friends, we take a spoonful of what’s inside the bowl and pass the bowl to our friends. How many of you like peaches, or chicken, or green beans? Many of these items will be in the bowls. If you happen to drop a food item, it is okay. Ask me for assistance. We will also talk about different things during mealtimes, so if you would like to talk, we are ready to listen. I am so excited about family style dining and I hope you have the best time. Now let’s practice”. This is a statement that would help introduce family style dining to children. Display excitement and enthusiasm when discussing family style dining. The more excited you are about family style dining the more excited the children will be.

Implementing Family Style Dining

Objective 3: Upon completion of this lesson, the participants will be able to: • Implement an ideal mealtime using family style dining. SAY: We know that it is not always easy to have all of the food ready and at the table at the start of the meal. Sometimes the cook doesn’t always bring the food at the same time. Sometimes the food takes a long time to cook and some classes have to start without the main dish or there are not enough teachers to take care of the children and prepare the food in a timely fashion. As teachers, we have to begin to look at ways to reschedule time or work with the child care director and administrators to help solve some of these challenges.

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Now we begin to get into skills that our children will need to learn. We said that in the ideal family style meal everyone is polite and waits to start eating until everyone is ready. Children love to know what is expected of them, and it is

always easier to teach children what’s expected of them when we talk to them about it before they have a chance to do it incorrectly. A simple discussion of how “we eat at our center” can include the concepts that we all come to the table at the same

time and we wait until everyone is at the table before we start serving ourselves and passing food to our friends. Children often need to hear this information several times before they understand the new routine. We don’t expect perfect patience from the start but know that most children can learn these basic table manners when they receive supportive reinforcement on a consistent basis. The next skill our children will need to master is the skill of passing serving dishes of food from one person to another. To do this successfully requires that we have serving bowls that are small, easy to handle, and made of a material that does not become too hot that the children cannot easily pass the dish. Small bowls are easier to pick up and pass than larger bowls. Often the same food will need to be divided into several bowls to assure that it is easy to pass and serve. Bowls with a wide rim or lip are often easier to pass and help to prevent spilling of liquid foods. Metal bowls like stainless steel, although they are durable, are really only suitable for cold foods since they become too hot to handle when filled with a hot food. We will want to talk to children about passing bowls with two hands, holding the bowl on the outside and not letting their fingers touch the food. We can practice these skills with empty bowls and bowls filled with dry foods even before we try passing foods during the meals. We would recommend you avoid serving platters until the children are skilled at passing food. Keeping food balanced on a serving platter is much more difficult than handling a bowl. Most foods that we would think about serving on a plate or platter can be easily served in a bowl. Sandwiches cut in half can be passed very successfully by 3-year-olds when they are served in small bowls.

The ultimate goal of a family style meal is that everyone can serve themselves. Parents are often surprised to see their 3-year-old serving his or her own food. The children love to serve themselves, and with the right kind of training, the very young child can be successful.

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A key to having children serve themselves successfully is the type of serving utensils we provide. Small hard plastic spoons and tongs are easier for children to handle than long-handled spoons or sharp serving forks. One-quarter and one-half cup measuring cups with handles are often an ideal size and shape for children to manage. One concern that we sometimes encounter in having children serve themselves is that some children may take such a large portion of a food that there is not enough left for the other children at the table. Using a measuring cup or a measured hard

plastic spoon of a specific volume often has the added advantage of subtly controlling the portion size a child may take. The caregivers may recommend that each child take a serving of whatever food they want and that they may take additional food after everyone has been offered the food. This helps to assume that all of the children will be offered food.

Plastic tongs are an easy way for children to pick up foods. Practicing picking up items with tongs before the meal can help children feel comfortable in handling the tongs during the meal.

Pouring skills have long been a part of fine motor skill practiced in the child care setting. We usually begin with pouring water during outdoor play or practice pouring skills with sand or beans. If we carefully select small pitchers and consider small pitchers with lids and pouring spouts for the young child, we can easily make the transition to having the children pour their own beverages at mealtime. Some centers have been successful at having children pour their own milk by using the standard milk carton as the pitcher. Children are encouraged to pour their milk into a glass. Once this has been mastered, they can use developmentally appropriate pitchers that are shared at the table.

Of course we do not expect all children to master these skills at the same rate. We know that some children will be able to serve themselves with assistance from caregivers.

During family style dining, there should be plenty of food. It is difficult to relax and enjoy a meal if you are worried that you may not be able to get enough to eat. We have also said that for children to learn lifelong eating habits, they need to feel in control of their eating. They need to be assured that if they don’t want a food initially, they can change their minds during the meal, or if they decide they want more food, that most of the time it will be available. National Food Service Management Institute

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Finally, when we talked about the ideal family style meal, we said that everyone is happy and talking. Mealtimes should be fun and pleasant for everyone. The major points discussed were having all of the food ready at the start of the meal and having everyone sit down together. It is obvious that if we are going to be available to assist children in family style dining, teachers need to be sitting with the children from the start of the meal. If we get behind in preparing the meal or if we need to leave the table unattended, we can only expect that children will not have an ideal mealtime experience.

We also need to expect spills. We’ve seen that the skills we learn in order to develop healthy eating habits can be complicated. Children need time to learn passing and pouring skills, and little distractions can cause those inevitable spills. Little accidents should be handled in a relaxed manner. Children should never be reprimanded or criticized for spills at the table. Child-size sponges and small pails of soapy water make cleanup easy and fun for children. We have even seen miniature mops used by the children to clean up spills on the floor. We don’t expect cleanup to be perfect. Sopping up spilled milk or drying the floor to prevent slipping is really all that is necessary to continue a relaxed and pleasant meal. Full cleanup can be done by the teacher after the meal has been completed.

Happy Mealtimes Skit

SAY: Does anyone have any questions pertaining to family style dining? (Allow Participants to respond) STOP: Group Activity

SAY: Now it’s time for a group activity. A set of family style dining materials will be distributed to each learning team. Using the materials, create a happy mealtime skit. Decide who will play the roles of the teacher and the children. Be creative and include real life mealtime challenges and solutions. Some challenges may include a picky eater, lunch being served late, or a child with a special diet. Remember to use family style dining during the skit. Take about 10 minutes to create a skit.

DO: Allow participants to perform their skits.

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Happy Mealtimes for Healthy Kids

TRAINER’S TOOL: The training tool kit includes all items needed to demonstrate Family Style Dining.

Conclusion

OPEN DISCUSSION SAY: Time for review.

TRAINER’S TOOL: Ask each question and allow participants to answer the questions. Provide feedback as needed with the suggested answers. REVIEW SESSION: 1. What are 3 items needed to implement family style dining? Utensils, children, and a table 2. What is one thing you should do before implementing family style dining? Send out a parent letter explaining family style dining. 3. What is something you should avoid doing during family style dining? Preparing for an activity during mealtime, focusing on other tasks during mealtime, or anything else that does not focus directly on children during mealtime.

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