2013 / 2014

Dads in Distress Support Services Annual Report

Help and Hope for Separated Dads

Contents Overview ................................................................................................................................................................... 2 Chairman – Jim Morris ............................................................................................................................................ 5 Chief Executive Officer – Barry Guidera ............................................................................................................... 7 National Helpline Operations and the Mid North Coast of NSW; Alan Valja & Jeff Lindsay ........................... 9 Victoria – Laurence Anderson .............................................................................................................................. 11 New South Wales – Phil York ............................................................................................................................... 13 Relationships ......................................................................................................................................................... 14 Finance ................................................................................................................................................................... 15 Acknowledgements ............................................................................................................................................... 16

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Overview Our Vision We aspire to be a national leader in peer support to parents at risk of crisis and trauma that may impact upon family safety and wellbeing. Our Mission We provide the resources and support, either directly or in collaboration, to empower individuals to manage the challenges that placed them at risk. Our Values Make a difference – to parents (particularly in the high conflict space) for the benefit of children and families by focusing on the individual and their specific circumstances and needs. Accountability – we do what we say and commit to operating transparently in terms of communication, decision making and information provision. Inclusiveness – we are open to all parents who need support to manage and overcome the challenges that have placed them at risk Diversity – we welcome individuals from all backgrounds and cultures and collaborate with other organisations and other members of the organisation to maximise this value. Respectfulness - we provide a non-judgemental, supportive and safe environment fostering respect to all.

Peer Support Group Attendees by State 3500 3000 2500 2000 1500 1000 500 0 NSW

VIC

QLD 2012

Dads in Distress Support Services

WA

Total

2013

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Our Services    

 

Telephone Helpline Service Supporting separated men and their families around the country using a peer-support approach. Support groups Weekly evening meetings for men in several locations around Australia led by trained volunteers (implemented a mothers group in late 2012). One-on-One Support Staff or field volunteers provide face-to-face or over the phone support in locations without an active group meeting. Referral Networks Continually developing two-way referral networks to ensure all recipients of our support can be referred to the most effective services and resources available to match their specific circumstances. Advocacy Specific issues and cases are regularly taken up with agencies, government departments and policy makers. Website Comprehensive news, resources, information and personal experiences.

The DIDSS support group is generally 2-3 hours long and is facilitated weekly on a midweek evening. Each support group is comprised of two sections – known as Part 1 & 2.  

The 1st Part of the group enables men to share something of their current situation with other men and hear how other men are responding to their own situations. The 2nd Part of the group is dynamic discussion that responds to the specific needs of participants who are attending that evening. The 2nd Part (depending on the level of trust and understanding) of the group enhances the learning and the value of change for all participants by way of introducing shared learning. This engages the group and leads them to greater learning from each other’s experiences and ideas.

The DIDSS group program has been endorsed by the Institute of Group Leaders (IGL), which consists of an expert working group of specialists in the field of group leadership. It is a non-profit organisation that aims to increase the knowledge and skills of group leaders operating in a wide variety of settings. The Institute of Group Leaders endorsements empowers us with the ability to train and accredit our group facilitators to the level required to conduct a DIDSS peer support group meeting. This provides us with the means to ensure that all of our groups around Australia operate under a similar format; evaluation has shown that this process generally produces positive outcomes for the participants. In 2013 DIDSS produced an evaluation report by Andrew King from Groupwork solutions, and based on extensive surveys conducted in 2012 on our group attendees and Helpline callers. The report’s purpose was to review the descriptive data about who accessed the service during this time and what impact the program had on their life using existing reporting tools. The report found that;

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Many clients interviewed reported very high levels of feeling:  Less isolated and alone.  Being respected.  That they would recommend the service to other separated fathers.  Satisfied with the service they received. They also reported high levels of feeling that:  They supported other men in the group by participating.  They witnessed other fathers overcome significant obstacles and remain connected to their child/ren.  If their situation escalated leaving them in a high level of distress, they would re-attend a DIDSS meeting again.

DIDSS established a Mums in Distress Support Services (MIDSS) peer group in Parramatta (Western Sydney), and it has been operating since December 2012 with a regular, healthy amount of participants attending. The need for the group came about from the ever increasing contact from mums experiencing similar trauma to dads through divorce and separation, and finding there was little support service available and being offered to them. The reality is that mums suffer similar anxieties as dads when separated from their children and are faced with the related issues. This can prove devastating not only to the parents, but first and foremost reflect on the children – the ones who can potentially suffer the most.

Website Visits 2012/13 - 2013/14 60,000 50,000 40,000 30,000 20,000 10,000 0 July-Sept

Oct-Dec

Jan-March 2012/13

Dads in Distress Support Services

Apr-June

Totals

2013/14

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Chairman – Jim Morris Since having the privilege of being appointed to the Board of Dads In Distress Incorporated I have had the opportunity to attend meetings in nine of the fifteen men’s groups around the country. During this time I have been impressed with the generosity and commitment of the volunteers at the coalface of this organisation. I have been inspired by the stories of the men who make this community ours. On behalf of the Board of Directors I would like to thank the great efforts of Rob, Glen, Arthur, Mark, Peter, Rick, Ray, Ben, Richard, Ashley, Rowen, Alan, Jeff, Fiona, Anita, Brad, Francis, Garth, Colin, Laurence, Terry, Paul, Graham, Michael, Mark, Tony, Andrew and Phil. It is not easy backing up every week. Without you DIDS is not DIDS. There are many others who provide individual support: emotional; court; CSA; Centrelink or just a chat. There are also the volunteers who do the jobs that need to be done – from office work to the BBQs. Thank you all. Our groups are unique, different to the mainstream providers and, within our ranks, often different to each other. This diversity has enabled DIDSS to grow over the last 15 years. Some have grown strong and continue, while others have flourished, then declined. Within the diversity of our ranks there are great ideas that, if harnessed could be used to enhance the support base for those we serve and for those indirectly affected. I feel I can see what we might be, when we are all grown up. In some areas we utilise professionals to enhance our process, in others we rely on average men with no special skills, other than that they care. These men give a hand up to those who are doing it tough, today. We have consolidated in recent years. I think now is the time for growth. We are on the cusp of a new round of grants with a new government. We have submitted four applications, one application will maintain the status quo, and the other three will enable us to expand our operations. If we are successful, we will not be able to rest on our laurels. We will need to grow to satisfy our grant requirements. As we prepare to move forward, we need to ensure we use our scarce resources carefully. We have groups that are run by employees and groups that rely entirely on volunteers. One on one support is provided by volunteers in some areas and by employees in others. Our diversity of service delivery is truly amazing. My vision is that the current grant application will enable us to grow. Currently we are restricted to three defined localities. Our current applications should see us move to a national service with a national footprint. That will enable us to shed those localising restrictions and resource all our groups with full time support.

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Our incoming board has some important decisions to make. We recently held a strategic planning meeting. We reviewed and refined our vision, our mission and our values. The changes were small but significant. Planning is a journey. There is still work to do on our future. It is an exciting time for the organisation. We need to agree on where we are headed and how we will get there. In the main, I believe that we do. To the staff and particularly to Barry, thank you for your contribution to DIDS. Hopefully as we grow the load can be shared and the road may be easier. Three of our current Board continue on for another year. The other three Ron Macris, Andrew King and myself have nominated for re-election. To all of the Board, thank you for your contribution to the organisation. Each of you has bought your skills to the table. I appreciate your work and your support.

Well first off my son would like to say a big “Thank you DIDSS” and I would like to say a big “Thank you” as well. I first started attending DIDSS in January this year after a very nasty separation, I was an emotional wreck, suicidal, no idea how I could ever see my son again. DIDSS picked me up from the hole I was in and helped me gather my thoughts, reflect on the situation and better myself. Within 3 months I became a new man and a better father, stepped up in court, and achieved 3 days a week access with my son. The only problems was I could not achieve overnights due to his age (17 months old). After attending DIDSS continually and getting an understanding of the system I selfrepresented today. I walked in there unsure on what to expect and was confronted by my ex’s lawyer and a children’s lawyer. I put everything I have learnt into action and sat there for 4 hours in a room getting grilled by the 2 lawyers but at no time did I ever back down from my proposal. After a full day of negotiations I achieved what I originally proposed and finished all the court proceedings. I now have overnights for a child under 2yo and I did what I was told by many could not happen. Without DIDSS I don’t think I would have achieved this outcome so for that I say again – Thank You!

Our National Board of Management is a dedicated team of six volunteers who meet monthly and who also participate in various working party and other development activities. Attendance at the 11 Board meetings since the 2013 AGM: Jim Morris (Chairman) 11, Terry Valentine (Vice-Chairman) 11, Steve Zuckerman 9 (Treasurer) Andrew King (Secretary) 7, Ron Macris 10, Guido Lilio 9, Alan Valja 4

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Chief Executive Officer – Barry Guidera The past year has been another interesting one in the DIDSS story, and one that presented a broad range of items to consider for the future, with inquiries, input and feedback coming from a wide range of stakeholders from all corners of Australia. Like other Not for Profits our size, it is a continual struggle to ensure we are working within our boundaries governed by resources and capacity, and that any changes we make are well informed, realistic and achievable. A new Government was voted in during the year and with it a revised system for the way the sector we work in will be funded in the future. While this introduced new challenges, the work we have done in the past establishing a platform based on present requirements held us in good stead. The quality of people willing to assist us through the grant application phase left us amazed and grateful as many work at the highest level in their field in Australia. Traditionally our most effective peer support comes from attending our weekly groups. It would not be possible for us to facilitate those groups without the help of the many men, and now women in Parramatta MIDSS, who volunteer their time, initially for training, and then to turn up week after week and open the doors to support parents dealing with relationship breakdown. Their efforts are not to be underestimated, and I am always humbled by the work they do. Just having the doors open for those in need is an achievement in itself. Thanks to the excellent work of Andrew King and our staff we have been able to introduce a 14 hour facilitator induction course with the training provided over a two day weekend. The first one in Sydney had the maximum participants and went very well – the first Melbourne one will be in October. These courses will occur regularly to ensure we continue to work towards providing a consistent format at all our group meetings, and to enable any new group volunteers a valuable opportunity to spend time with other facilitators. We continue to have a seat with the Child Support National Stakeholders Engagement Group (CSNSEG), we submitted to the Child Support Parliamentary Enquiry and presented at one of the committee hearings. We continue to receive positive feedback from government when submitting our Child Support member feedback project papers, and we are hopeful that the project will be extended from January 2015. A gathering of the Board, staff and Regional Committee Chairmen in August provided the opportunity for us to revise our vision, mission and values (see page 2). The weekend also provided the impetus for us to revise our strategic planning and governance requirements. It always seems that the list becomes longer not shorter, and we acknowledge that we still have a lot of work to do in many areas. Everyone agrees that we need more DIDSS groups in as many areas of Australia as possible, how we achieve that with our current resources is the challenge we face. Support we have received over the years has taken many forms and has been supplied for various reasons. Unfortunately one of the main reasons is because people have lost someone close to them through suicide and they want to help make a difference. The Southern Cross Austereo network has

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been kind enough to provide thousands of DIDSS radio ads through to the end of 2014 on ten of their stations in the five largest capital cities. Like DIDSS, they are hoping that in the future there is a greater awareness for parents separating that it doesn't have to be done the hard way, and that if the focus is on the best interests of everyone in the family you can avoid a lot of stress - and negative impact on the most important ones involved - the kids. Our dedicated staff continue to support people whose lives have been thrown into turmoil and are facing the types of issues they never thought they would have to. A massive thank you to Laurence, Phil, Alan, Jeff and Mac for their efforts, their continued support provided to me, and for their input into making DIDSS the great organisation that it is.

Website Page Views 2012/13 - 2013/14 500,000 450,000 400,000 350,000 300,000 250,000 200,000 150,000 100,000 50,000 0 July-Sept

Oct-Dec

Jan-March

2012/13

Apr-June

Totals

2013/14

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, for your wonderful work in guiding, supporting, and encouraging X and all of our family through to this point in the pursuit of the best interests of Y and Z. I know you have good material to work with in X, but without you, God knows where we would be at this time with this process. Please accept our heartfelt thanks from the whole family.

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National Helpline Operations and the Mid North Coast of NSW; Alan Valja & Jeff Lindsay We have experienced another busy year with the Helpline logging 15 calls each working day, with the Police SupportLink project providing a steady flow of requests. Around 100 people enquired further about how to volunteer their time for DIDSS from more than 200 initial contacts. All volunteers now go through a screening, training and monitoring process and become group facilitators, supporters or help with administration. In his volunteer coordinator capacity Alan travelled to Queensland to work through the group process with the Logan and Gold Coast groups and attend a local fundraising event. To assist a new group start and prosper we need to create awareness, and part of that process is to distribute brochures and information at local service providers, Police stations, Family Relationship Centres and community centres. Alan was also fortunate to travel to Adelaide for their first meeting, and it was great to see the new procedures we have implemented for starting new groups come to fruition. We attended the first facilitator induction course hosted by Andrew King in Sydney with 14 other group facilitators. It was fantastic to see the enthusiasm and commitment from old and new volunteers, and how far we have come in the way we train and monitor our group leaders. It was great to catch up with familiar faces and meet new ones, and we felt the course was of great benefit and a good bonding session for all concerned.

Helpline Calls logged 2012/13 - 2013/14 4,500 4,000 3,500 3,000 2,500 2,000 1,500 1,000 500 0 July-Sept

Oct-Dec

Jan-March 2012/13

Dads in Distress Support Services

Apr-June

Totals

2013/14

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Continued; Locally in the Mid North Coast we have been following up with interested parties wanting to establish a DIDSS group - particularly in Pt Macquarie. The Coffs Harbour TAFE regularly asks us to present to their community services classes, and this has proved to be a big learning curve for the students going by the response from both the students and teachers, as our input for the community services is an important part of their studies. We also presented to new male migrants, and despite the language barrier the class response was very good. In June we were involved with Mens Health Week in conjunction with the Coffs Area Mens Alliance, and had a very busy stall in the Coffs Harbour CBD. We conducted a family fun day at the Woolgoolga Bowling Club recently and a good turnout enabled us to raise funds and awareness for our organisation. This looks like it may be an annual event which can only be a good thing - the staff at the CEX group have been extremely helpful. The original DIDSS group at Coffs Harbour continues, and while our numbers are low at times, the door is always open and it also means many members have moved on – mission accomplished!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank DIDSS for the incredible support and help I received over the past 11 months through what I would deem as one of most difficult and emotionally challenging times in my life to date. Although I was not always able to attend the Wednesday night group in Frankston, I found them enlightening, helpful and very grounding. It helped me greatly to be able to share my thoughts, feelings and upsets in a safe, caring supportive environment and similarly to hear about other people’s stories and struggles too. I must admit that as a mum in a mums world, I still find it extraordinary that it was a service specifically set up to support men that really understood me and provided the support and advice I needed and even more importantly, when I needed it most. I guess I could go on all day about how wonderful your service is and in particular your staff and volunteers but as X often said, it's all about the outcome. Given how competing and polarised our views were 11 months ago, to have avoided a trial and settled out of court from where we were is the best outcome I could have imagined. All the guidance and support kept me on track and grounded, and I really feel I would not have had the success I did representing myself otherwise. If anyone ever questions you on why an organisation like DIDSS should be helping a mum in distress, please remind them that 2 future husbands and fathers, our two boys, now have a mum and dad on the same page and in some sort of agreement about their future parenting. So DIDSS, if not from me, then a big thank you from them, your program is invaluable and I know it has and will continue to assist many more families in the future. Keep up the great work.

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Victoria – Laurence Anderson I’m not sure if it’s just me getting older, but the last 12 months seem to have flown by and once again another year in the evolution of DIDSS services in Victoria has come to an end. For my part in ensuring the services we provide are effective in assisting parents to navigate, transition and recover from the trauma of family breakdown as soon as possible, as always there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the strategies we employ continue to meet the expectations and needs of the vast majority of the hundreds of parent’s, families and sector stakeholders who seek our assistance each year. In spite of this work and the work of many other agencies and organisations, we still see far too many parents experiencing multiple barriers to remaining connected with their children; high levels of unmanaged parental conflict, long waiting times to access some services, loss of family and social supports, access to appropriate housing, parents with unmet mental and physical health needs, many with language and literacy problems or cultural barriers including discrimination, unemployment, problems accessing legal advice and support, immigration and even cross border issues like international child abduction. Any one of these barriers can be challenging, but a combination is completely overwhelming and not just for the parent’s and their families, but often for the services many access for support as well. In an effort to stay up to date with emerging issues, new policy, services gaps and develop the pathways and trusted referral relationships required, I have continued my work on a range of committees, regional networks; sector reference and stakeholder groups, that not only allow for the continued promotion of DIDSS services and improve sector understanding of what we do, but also provide an opportunity to advocate and raise awareness of the changing needs of our client group. As an added bonus, committee and stakeholder group participation, especially Family Law Pathways, Child Support, Commonwealth Ombudsman and Family Relationship Centre Reference groups also deliver a range of opportunities for professional development which I truly relish. In relation to our Victorian funded project, we continue to meet or exceed all deliverables within timeframes and budget requirements outlined in our funding agreement. The feedback from the department continues to show us that we are performing to a high standard and that our work is recognised and supported at the highest levels of government. The 2013 / 2014 financial year has thrown up some significant challenges. As an example, in recent years our decision to focus on the quality of our service, improved training and accreditation, governance and policy development, sustainability and less on growth and expansion has caused some discomfort as some groups have not survived that process, but it has also taught us some valuable Dads in Distress Support Services

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lessons. Together we have learned that a single support group with a well-developed referral pathway network can effectively engage and support parents from a much wider area than we previously thought. In particular we have seen that in the Western suburbs, to the North from Bayswater and to the East from our regional base in Frankston - which continues to engage parents readily from as far afield as the Bass Coast and South Gippsland. As a result of the above efforts, we have seen an increase in support and interest from Universities and Colleges looking for placement options for mature aged and often highly qualified students with a strong interest in learning more about issues facing men. Over the past 12 months we have engaged and currently supervise 4 students on placement from institutions like Monash University, Phoenix Institute and Chisholm, all now taking on more formal and long term volunteering roles. We have also been able to provide assistance in the form of research opportunities; from students completing research for Master’s thesis to National research like the Black Dog Institutes’ research into how to prevent suicidal behaviours in men, DIDSS long term trusted relationship with participants is proving a fertile ground for new insights and learnings. Looking forward to 2015, there’s a lot we don’t know. These are exciting times; there is the potential for new partnership’s that will make us truly national. We have a different Government, different policies and a new tendering process for our continued funding to work through before we can be certain of what the future holds. Whether we are funded or not, the work will continue to some extent, of that I am sure. To all of our Victorian volunteers, our regional committee members, the students on placements with us, and the professionals and agencies who support us in the challenging work we do, we would not be able to achieve the outcomes for our clients that we do without all your help. Thank you. I just wanted to let you know that I travelled from Toowoomba to attend my first Dads in Distress meeting tonight at Logan in Brisbane. It was the most wonderful experience. The group welcomed me and made me feel safe, secure and very comfortable. The chance to speak freely without fear of judgement was truly a relief. Speaking to other men that could relate to my situation has helped me realise that there is hope. This experience was nothing short of life saving for me. I can truly say that I was inspired to keep going and to be grateful for what I already have and what I can achieve with a little time and perseverance. Thank you so much, what a great service. I'll will be back next week.

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New South Wales – Phil York As the Western Sydney population continues to grow we receive enquiries from a broader demographic with an increasing number of different cultures attending our groups. This has been exciting to see, and thanks to our strong links and referral pathways to other services, partnerships with many other organisations - and our ability to collaborate and work effectively with them we have been able to empower men through providing effective support. After having our group format accredited by the Industry of Group Leaders in 2013, the next step is to have our facilitators trained and inducted so we can continue working towards consistency of product at all our groups. The first DIDSS facilitator induction course was held in Sydney in June with 15 participants. The weekend was hosted by Andrew King from Groupwork Solutions, who has been working with us for some time, and has done a great job establishing processes that can be utilised in the future. Evidence of the process working was when I attended the first Bathurst meeting in August. Three of the four facilitators had attended the induction weekend, and they followed the long established DIDSS format faultlessly, as well as running the relatively new second half option – ‘The Campfire’. Our weekly DIDSS groups are operating effectively, all volunteer facilitators have now been leaders in their groups for a few years. Our group leader training forums were attended with great participation and a real passion by our volunteers to learn more so they can effectively lead their individual groups. The Parramatta project working with Aboriginal dads over the past year continues, and I have been able to spend time with some remarkable men and the elders of the Aboriginal communities in various locations around Sydney and beyond. I have been part of a working party selected by the NSW court system looking at how anyone self-representing at court can be better supported. This is an exciting and innovative approach and we look forward to some positive outcomes in the future. The Parramatta Mums in Distress Support Services group have been operating for nearly two years with a steady stream of new participants. A website is part of a revised work plan, and we will continue to look at gradually increasing the MIDSS footprint in line with our capacity and resources. Spent another day in court today, did not expect it but it’s all over! Thank you for all your support, guidance and advice. I have achieved an outstanding result – all credited to the amazing work you do at DIDSS. I will now start working on my new life, a new beginning, and new possibilities. Forever grateful. Please pass on my thanks to your partner – I hope she understands how much her sacrifice every Monday night changes our lives for the better, to better men, and better dads. A dad now in development!

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Relationships In our established regions DIDSS personnel have developed links in the community with other services to identify vulnerable families, and then establish referral pathways for parents with professionals and services as appropriate to that parent’s needs. Our regional coordinators collaborate with many service providers including;    

Mensline Australia Lifeline Relationships Australia, Family Life, Interrelate, Anglicare and CatholicCare Family Relationship Centres in all funded regions

DIDSS also works with other agencies on a broader level, and have developed working relationships with;    

Family Law Pathway Networks Community Health Services Men’s Health and Wellbeing Alliances Peak bodies

In the public sector we continue to build relationships and work closely with;        

Federal Department of Human Services, comprising the Child Support Agency and Centrelink, including membership of the Child Support National and State Stakeholder Engagement Groups Commonwealth Ombudsman State Police (including the Victorian Support Link service) State Health Departments Australian Federal Police Charities such as the Salvation Army Family and Federal Circuit Courts Local Magistrates Court

The Management Team collaborate with key service provider managers, program/project workers and coordinators. There were discussions held with groups of service providers, and it is recognised that the DIDSS partnership model has been successful in engaging and collaborating with many significant service stakeholders with regard to working with fathers across the funded regions.

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Finance Income and Expenditure Statement for the year ended 30 June 2014 Item

2012-2013

2013-14

Income Project Funding Fund-raising and donations Other Total Income Expenditure Wages and related expenses Consultants Volunteer development Telephone Advertising Web-site Other Total Expenditure

407,699 30,309 11,922 449,810

409,862 20,262 47,084 477,208

363,686 170 39,039 13,563 6,513 2,317 54,829 480,117

346,756 9,465 25,575 14,987 17,976 4,441 49,287 468,487

Surplus/(Deficit)

(30,187)

8,721

Assets and Liabilities Statement for the year ended 30 June 2014 Item Member Funds Retained Earnings Total Members Funds Current Assets Cash Debtors Total Current Assets

2012 - 2013

2013 - 2014

(30,187) 39,067

8,721 47,788

274,769 0 274,769

77,235 0 77,235

Non-Current Assets Plant & Equipment

7,088

4,961

Total Assets

281,857

82,196

Creditors Provision for Annual Leave Income in Advance Total Current Liabilities

29,709 11,108 191,496 232,313

6,858 12,331 0 19,189

Non-Current Liabilities Prov for Long Service Leave Total Liabilities

10,477 242,790

15,219 34,408

Net Assets

39,067

47,788

Current Liabilities

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Acknowledgements During the year we received significant contributions from the following organisations;

Pt Macquarie Hastings Lodge

Some of our charitable donations and fundraising monies were expended on;       

The DIDSS Helpline service Promotional materials – brochures, posters and signs Board, staff and volunteer planning weekends and conferences Office equipment upgrades Group meeting program accreditation Training, accreditation and monitoring of group facilitators and volunteer Helpline operators Developing resources for governance and operational purposes

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The Bunnings BBQ’s continue to be a fantastic way for our members and volunteers to: build comradeship while working together, create awareness of DIDSS, and raise funds to help cover the running costs of the local group.

DIDSS acknowledges the funding provided by the Australian Government to deliver our services

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