Issue 3

KILFS

Spring 2009

Teams ending w/ FS seem to be Falling Short in the ‘win’ column...

The SHBT and KILFS are always at the bar having fun no matter what happened on the field. 1

Ft. Lauderdale

RIPTIDE

Spring 2009

kickball division

division newsletter

WAKA FL Riptide Division Issue #3 In This Issue

GMOT legal disclaimer Letter from Sarah/Lee Week 2 Recap Power Rankings Casey’s Preditions Standings Ask MLoop Mid-Season Party MSP Wardrobe Suggestions Photos

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There was a time, a time before kickball, when the local GMOT editor reigned supreme, when people believed everything they heard at MillsPond. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the GMOT. And in Ft. Lauderdale, one GMOT editor was more man than the rest. His name was Beer Goggles. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, and tattoos so fine they made Tramp stamps look like horse manuer. In other words, Beer Goggles was the balls. “Mmm. I look good. I mean, really good. Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look! Mm, ehh, mm. Ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That’s why I’m doing this. How now brown cow. How now brown cow. How now brown cow. How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don’t wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don’t know her name. What is it? Lanolin? La-lanolin? Like sheep’s wool? Unique New York. Unique New York. Mm, I love Scotch. I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm. The arsonist has oddly shaped feet. “ Yours Truly, - Ghost

Man on Third

GMOT Editor: Shane Contributors: President Lee, VP Sarah & S.Casey Johnson Design layout: Template from Kirk...Worked on by Shane Photography: Everyone, but mostly Jami

Riptide Board Members WAKA Representative: MLoop President: Lee Mazor Vice President: Sarah Tummons Head Referee & Rules Czar: Jon Simon Charity Director: Carrissa Ward Field Generals: James “Jimbo” Melton, Shane Social Committee: Jami Rubin, Lora Rubin, Miss Chow Photographers: Everyone

GMOT legal disclaimer: Nothing in the GMOT newsletter is to be taken seriously, except for the scores - and even that’s questionable. 2

A message from the desk of

Sarah/Lee

Riptiders, I don’t know about you guys but thinking about kickball on Wednesdays helps the week fly by so much faster. I’m writing this on Monday, the most hated day of all 9-5 workers, just knowing that I’m going to have a fun night with my friends in 2 nights has made today go by a little faster then usual. I hope all of you look forward to Wednesday night kickball like Sarah and I do. I am glad to say that so far we have reached game 4 without many problems. Seems like everyone is enjoying hanging out at Diceys after the game and taking advantage of all the drink specials they have to offer. Speaking of Diceys, as Sarah mentioned last week, please make sure you wear your new shirt from this season so that it either says Dicey Rileys or Play Kickball on the back of your shirt. Otherwise we might have to remove you from your game and that just won’t be fun for anyone. Don’t forget our mid-season party is on May 2nd @ Rok Hard nightclub and the theme is Rumble in the Jungle! See you on the field! Lee and Sarah

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Week 2 Recap Screaming Seapimps (1) vs. We Kick It Raw (2) Screaming Seapimps

We Kick It Raw

-Greg

-Charlit

SeaPimps Lose Heartbreaker

FINALLY a much needed win from We Kick it Raw. Going into the 6th tied 1-1 w/ two on base, Joe “the leg” Myers steps up and boots our first home run of the year. This win was huge for WKIR, the team finally showed its kickballs and played together as a team. One down and four more wins to go on our way to a 5-0 finish.

Anaheim, CA —Bobby Abreu’s angry reaction to a purpose pitch from Boston ace Josh Beckett triggered an ugly fracas Sunday that saw both teams’ benches and bullpens cleared, with the notable exception of Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew. “They looked like they had it under control; don’t want too many cooks in the kitchen,” said Drew, who could be seen yawning and flicking sunflower seeds into a nearby water cup during the fight. “I thought about getting in there for a second, but then I thought, nah. It didn’t really directly concern me. I mean, yeah, they shoved a bunch of my teammates, but it’s not like they were gonna die or anything. If someone was in mortal danger, I’d step in there. Yeah, I’d probably do that.” Drew then turned his attention to perusing his contract for opt-out clauses.

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Big game this week as WKIR plays for sole possession of 3rd, but I have a feeling that We Hit it Raw will be able to Slap the Beach right out this team!

Balls Deeper (12) vs. Smurfs Have Balls Too (0) Balls Deeper

Smurfs Have Balls Too

- Robyn

- Mike

For a team whose playing is pure poetry in motion, its only fitting to recap our victory with some verse:

Well, anyone who says kickball is not a contact sport hasn’t seen the Smurfs, or maybe just Mike who was involved in two collisions. The Smurfs show great team spirit and cheered throughout the whole game. We surprised everyone, and I think our selves by not getting mercey ruled until the fifth inning. Even though we gave up twelve runs there was some great defensive plays out there. Great catches by Melissa, Jacki, Caroline, and Brett T. On the offensive side of the ball Alex and Ahn-Trang, continued their streak on getting on base in three games in a row. The Smurfs hope to get the offense going next week when they play a great defensive team in Riff Raff.

several seasons past, in either yore or yesteryear there was a lime green team that no one feared then our colors to yellow did change our players shifted and expanded in range a man named christian bought socks of gold and black and the killer bees went on the attack through seasons of thursdays we’ve been near the top just shy of number one are we usually stopped we joined riptide on wednesdays to take it all the way home we’re seeking our first title, like a dog to a bone this week’s victory over the smurfettes in blue should show the plan we intend to pursue home runs, line drives, bunting straight down the line sliding, and diving, and making the base just in time perfect pitching, quick reactions, and spot-on throws to the base never-ending support and advice from captains josh and chase dancing and flip-cup until the early morn las vegas, you are now officially warned! on a personal note, i’d just like to say thanks to the yellow team for seasons of fun and kickball, and i’ll miss you until I see you in vegas!

Destination Vegas (4) vs. Steele Toes & Pantyhose (0) Destination Vegas -Jimmy

Steele Toes & Pantyhose No recap

Dear Balls DeeperTAP TAP. Who’s there? Destination.....Destination who? Vegas...where you won’t qualify to go. Destination Vegas is in strict training mode until we destroy your Vegas dream in 3 weeks. We will take no mercy on any team that crosses our path. Also, we have already beat your “girls” at flip cup. Rematch on Wednesday? Match Up!!! Your Friends, The Destinatin Vegas Squad (tap tap)

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KILFS (1) vs. Balls In Your Face (8) Balls In Your Face

KILFS - Angie

- Shane

There isn’t much to say about the game this week. The KILFS just didn’t play well. That’s it. We didn’t get beat by another team – we beat ourselves, really. Props to Alex for scoring the only run. Things will be better this week…we’ll have our game faces on again…so watch out!

Balls in your face? How about balls all over the place? Between great plays and outstanding offense, we managed to score runs in just about every inning of this game. Our BIYF team pulled off some Forrest Gump style plays in offense and defense. We had a very collective win and no one stood out, other then Captain Moe who finally decided to show up for a game and hung with me at the bar til’ the wee hours of the night. For the people who like our shots made from Jell-O, we are happy to say we’re 2-1 and it’s only just begun...

Looking To Score (3) vs. Kickball Legends (6) Looking To Score

Kickball Legends

- Jason

- Brandt

Week 3, what can I say; old habits die hard, or two steps forward 1 step back. Not sure which one fits the scenario. Final score 5-3? with looking to score on the lower end. This team needs some consistency, last week we played like a solid cohesive unit, this week we looked like a bunch of newbies out there. I blame my performance on the April 15th Tax Day curse, but I cant speak for everyone and I seem to be the excuse maker. Getting people on base seems to be the easy part for us, scoring on the other hand, a whole different ballgame. We will right this ship and we will be a team to be reckoned with. Hopefully, we get it together before playoff time, because this team can be a nasty group of kickballing mo fuggas when we are all playing well. If are performance doesn’t yield a Vegas Trip, Oklahoma is about half way there. Cow tipping anyone?

On behalf of the Kickball Legends we are proud of our first win. With half our team kickball virgins, we were stoked to come out on top. Shout out to Timothy Dornford for his baller kicks and stellar catches and Mike Lenoci for his oscar winning ladybugs rendition of seeing butterflies instead of catching the ball at first. Lastly, shout out to Larry the cable guy and his world famous drinking backpack. We may not be the best team on the field but we certainly know how to get down and dirty at Diceys.

-is on a dry spell...

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You’re In Trouble (0) vs. Riff Raff (7) You’re in Trouble

Riff Raff

- Paul

-David

Well.... We pretty much shot ourselves in the foot. Poor fielding and no ability to kick on their pitcher’s super spin ball! Line of the night - “WHAAAAA! you stepped on my big toe... WHAAAAA!” This league needs to start switching to a vegetarian diet so there’s less “beef” out there! Next week will be better for sure!

The Pink Machine rolled on to another victory, shutting out our worthy opponent, 7-0. The team is coming together after a sluggish start. Everyone is improving their game (except for Big Nick, who has yet to get on base this season and continues to scarf down 2 dozen chicken nuggets and 2 chicken sandwiches before each game – coincidence? I think not). Off the field, the stinky pinkies are enjoying everyone’s company at Dicey’s. Wednesday night’s are yielding some interesting Thursday morning stories (We’re still trying to figure out how Flader and Q wound up in a sorority house at Nova University, but we’ll leave that for another day…). Hope to see everyone this Wednesday!

Partially Screwed (10) vs. Beachslappers (0) Partially Screwed

Beach Slappers

-Jon

- Jim

There was blood in the water early as the red shirts of Partially Screwed took an early 3-0 lead in the first after getting out of a bases loaded jam in the inning. The offensive surge continued as PS scored runs in every inning there after. Big Latin, Mauricio was welcomed back into the lineup driving in the first run of the game and Jon, Jeff, and Jimbo all had two runs apiece. Jimbo added a two run homer in the fifth and pitched two scoreless innings as well. Starting pitcher Corey threw three scoreless innings and newcomer Will closed things out with a perfect sixth vs the top of the Beachslapper order. Let if be known that while the Beachslappers are one of my favorite teams in the league you still got... BEACHSLAPPED! (ps-happy birthday Kaleb)

So what was supposed to be the game of the week turned very ugly for the Beachslappers as we dropped a heartbreaker to the crafty veterans of Partially Screwed 10-0. It looked promising after we loading the bases in the top of the 1st inning, but we failed to score. Partially Screwed then scored in almost every inning in route to a beating. Hats off to them as they played very well and look like the team to beat. Next time I won’t call Jon Simon old tell Binge he is past his kickball prime and try to recruit him harder in the off season when he is a free agent - as he played the game of his life. It will not get any easier for the Beachslappers with 2 very difficult games coming up. Back to the drawing boards for week 4!

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Riptide Power Rankings 1. Riff Raff (2-0) - Riff Raff made a formidable team in Your in Trouble look like amateurs, proving it belongs at the top spot. 2. Partially Screwed (2-0) - There was doubt about this squad at the beginning of the season but no longer after trouncing the Beachslappers 10-0. 3. Balls Deeper (3-0) - The yellow team continues to take care of the teams on its schedule with ease and is eagerly awaiting some competition. 4. Destination Vegas (3-0) - This squad seems to be messing around most of the time and they are still undefeated. Who knows what to expect? 5. Beachslappers (2-1) - After an impressive 2-0 start, the Beachslappers got a wake up call via Partially Screwed and will need to rebuild. 6. Steel Toes & Pantyhose (1-2) - Despite a less than desired record, the two losses for STP have come against the No. 3 and 4 teams. Expect more from them. 7. Balls in Your Face (2-1) - The gray team surprisingly has a winning record, but it will have to beat an established team before it jumps into the Top 5. 8. Your in Trouble (1-2) - This is another team with a record not symbolic of its true talent. Expect Your in Trouble to move up in the coming weeks. 9. Kickball Legends (1-2) - The Kickball Legends got their first win against a team that I thought very highly of. Does this mean they have everyone in place? 10. We Kick it Raw (1-2) - The pistachio team finally got its first victory and is actually fourth in the entire league when it comes to runs allowed. 11. Looking to Score (1-2) - Last week was a tough loss for the maroon team against a new squad. They will rebound and prove why they were my sleeper team. 12. Screaming Sea Pimps (1-2) - For a team that is randomly choosing its lineup, it sure do keep the games close, even when losing. 13. KILFS (0-3) - The KILFS haven’t won a game, but they may have had one of the toughest schedules in the league thus far. Things can only get better. 14. Smurfs Have Balls Too (0-3) - Did I mention how much I like their team name. Did anyone ever notice that there was only one female Smurf on the show?

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Casey’s Predictions Game of the Week Kickball Legends vs. Your in Trouble - I know what you are thinking. The Game of the Week featuring two teams with losing records? Exactly! They are almost even when it comes to talent, experience and drinking ability. I have no idea who to choose in this game as it will be close for all six innings and I wouldn’t be surprised no matter who won. If you gave me money and told me I had to bet, I guess I would go with the squad that has been in the league longer. Prediction: Your In Trouble 7, Kickball Legends 5

Upset of the Week We Kick it Raw vs. Beachslappers - It may sound stupid choosing a new team to knock off one of the longest standing teams in the league, but the Beachslappers will have to pick up the pieces after last week while the guacamole team is coming off its first victory. Also, keep in mind that WKIR has only allowed 5 runs all season while the Beachslappers have given up 13. Prediction: We Kick It Raw 2, Beachslappers 1 Smurfs Have Balls Too vs. Riff Raff - I say both teams just head to the bar or just play driking games on the field so that I don’t have to come up with a serious analysis of this matchup. Oh man, this game is going to look like a new borns room with pink and baby blue going at it with the final score less appealing that a diaper rash. Prediction: Riff Raff 12, Smurfs Have Balls Too 0 Screaming Sea Pimps vs. Partially Screwed - The challenge for the red team coming off such a statement game last week will be to stay focused against a team that likes to mess around, forcing you into a false sense of security. If Partially Screwed doesn’t stay focused, the Idiot-Savant-like-Screaming-Seapimps will put some runs on the board, leaving the Vegas hopefulls with more problems that just sand in the.... Prediction: Partially Screwed 8, Screaming Seapimps 0 Looking to Score vs. Balls Deeper - Looking to Score lost a game last week that I thought it should have won and was hoping it would finally show some improvement. Well, the maroon team can’t change the past, but it most certainly can prove its talent by beating this powerhouse or at least giving another Vegas hopeful team a scare. Prediction: Balls Deeper 6, Looking to Score 1. Balls in Your Face vs. Destination Vegas - A winning record for Balls in Your Face is a bit of a surprise, but I expect the gray team to be brought back down to earth this week when it faces the team that attempted to make their shirts camouflaged but ended up looking like they went off-roading without any vehicles. This one might be close, but don’t expect there to be many runs for Balls in Your Face. Prediction: Destination Vegas 5, Balls in Your Face 1 Steel Toes & Pantyhose vs. KILFS - I could see this game being closer than expected as I can tell the KILFS are starting to get better with all the top notch teams it has played, but I would be extremely disappointed in STP if didn’t come away with the win in this one. Expect another low scoring game for the purple team in this one. Prediction: Steel Toes & Pantyhose 6, KILFS 0

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Standings

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Ask MLoop ____________________________________________________

Game Time: WAKA kickball is a timed sport and in the regular season you have exactly 1 hour from the scheduled (not actual) start time to complete your game. It doesn’t matter if you are in the middle of an inning or have 1 out left etc, the game must ends by the 1 hour mark. Captains need to remind their players in a close game that the clock is always ticking & to not to wait for that perfect pitch, you may time out!!!!! Foul Line: Once the ball is kicked, it is considered in fair territory as soon as the ball touches the foul line. Only an edge of the ball touching the line is required to be considered fair. Ground balls must still enter within the boundaries of the cones marking the kicking box.

This ball is considered to be in fair territory as the outer edge of the ball has reached the line. The entire ball does not need to enter, only part of it. If the ball rolls back outside the line before it is touched by a fielder it is a foul.

Safety Base: -Fielders trying to make an out on first base must touch the base in fair territory (the First Base). -Runners hindered by a fielder touching the base in foul territory (the Extra Base), will be safe. -Runners not attempting to advance to second base and touching the First Base will be out. d. Once a runner has reached first base safely the runner must start the next play on the First Base. Any runner standing on or touching the Extra Base at the beginning of the next play will be out. e. If no fielder is on first base, and/or the runner is attempting to advance to second base, the runner may touch the First Base. Note: If the runner touches both the safety and fair (fielders) base the runner shall be out if there was a play at the base. 11

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RUMBLE

IN

THE

JUNGLE

IN CASE YOU NEED SOME HELP HERE ARE SOME WARDROBE SUGGESTIONS............

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See Ya Next Week!

Want to have your picture(s) in the GMOT? Submit them to the GMOT editor, or to the photo album on the FL Riptide website. Pictures may be randomly chosen from the website photo album to appear in the GMOT.

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The FL Riptide Division is part of the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA)

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