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HUMOR H E L P S YO U C O P E W I T H LIFE ! FREE The Monthly Paper Take Me Home! May. 11 Spotlight ™ GUESS WHO? Clean Jokes • Puzzles • Insigh...
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HUMOR H E L P S YO U C O P E W I T H LIFE !

FREE

The

Monthly Paper

Take Me Home! May. 11

Spotlight



GUESS WHO?

Clean Jokes • Puzzles • Insight 760-231-9074

* Tw w.– P4ages1 p o t l i g h t . n e t * he Sw potlight

Plunkett

Published by: Walter & Carole Gobitas, 2420 Vista Way Suite 112, Oceanside, CA 92054 Copyright 1999 - 2010 All Rights Reserved

The



Spotlight

North County’s Collectible Paper Save the cute pictures & jokes!

Owner / Editor

Walter & Carole Gobitas

Ph #: 760-231-9074

Spotlight Online: www.4spotlight.net E-mail:

[email protected]

Thank you Contributors! For making the

Spotlight on:

Spotlight North County’s Great Little Paper! Plunkett Kid Wisdom Mulva & Silly Sally Puzzles Grandpa’s Wisdom Prof. Smugly Cuddles Golf Hearing Advice

2 3 6 7 10 11 14 15 16

PLEASE SUPPORT the Advertisers in the Spotlight. They make it possible for you to get it FREE!!!!!!!!! Consumers Be Aware

• CA state law requires anyone who contracts to do construction or work of

improvement be licensed. Please verify the person is licensed! (Contractor’s State License Board: 1-800-321-2752 or www.cslb.ca.gov) • For health solutions, consult your physician. Health ads and articles are for informational purposes only. • Financial ads and articles are for informational purposes only. Gobitas, and The Spotlight reserve the right to not accept an ad. We accept no responsibility for errors in copy or in advertisements beyond the cost of the actual space occupied by the error, or for the comments or claims of our advertisers. All disputes to be settled in Small Claims Court in Vista, CA.

Did Ya Hear This?

Good Incentive

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." ------------------------☺☺☺-----------------------

Have We Met?

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland." The other woman responds proudly, "Yes, I sure am!" The first one says, "So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?" The other woman answers, "I'm from Dublin." The first one responds, "So, am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other woman says, "A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town." The first one says, "Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! And what school did ya go to?" The other woman answers, "Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course." The first one gets really excited and says, "And so Did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other woman answers, "Well, now, let's see. I Graduated in 1964." The first woman exclaims, "I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!" About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight." Michael asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?" Brian answers, "The Murphy twins are drunk again." ------------------------☺☺☺-----------------------

The Spotlight – Page 2

Kid Wisdom They Say the Funniest Things! Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. Age 10 Home is where my house is. Age 6 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. Thatís what happens to cheese when you leave it out. Age 6 As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. Age 7 If you want something expensive, you should ask your grandparents. Age 12 My grandmother can say more in a sentence than a college professor can say in an hour and a half. Age 14 I can remember what flavor of ice cream cone my grandmother and I shared at Disneyworld; but most of the time, I can't remember what day it is. I guess it depends on what you think is important. Age 13 -----------------------☺☺☺--------------------When my daughter was three, we were leaving the house in our car and I took a corner too sharply, chirping my tires on the curb. My daughter asked, "What was that?" I told her that I hugged the corner, and she replied, "It sounded like you kissed it to me!" -----------------------☺☺☺--------------------My daughter came home from school one day and yelled, "Since when do we live in Antarctica!?" I replied "Why do you say that? Because it's getting cold?" No, it turns out that, because we had painted our house white while she was at school, it now looked like an igloo to her. -----------------------☺☺☺---------------------

Keep Smiling! It Improves Your Looks!

Mom: Are you sure that's the right channel? Dad: I'm not sure. Son: Well, then put it on the LEFT channel, Mom! -----------------------☺☺☺--------------------My son, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. My other son, 6, stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said, "We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago" -----------------------☺☺☺--------------------I was in the doctor's office with my son, getting his shots. He was crying and he told the nurse he didn't want the shot. She said, "It's going to be okay. You have to get one of these so you can grow up to be as big as your daddy!" My son looked at me and said, "Oh no! But my daddy's short!" -----------------------☺☺☺--------------------I was wanting to prune a tree outside and couldn't find my pruning saw, so I was muttering to myself "where's my saw". My toddler went rushing off inside and came back with two dinosaurs. She declared "Saurs! I found it!"

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The Spotlight – Page 3

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The Spotlight – Page 4

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Mulva

Silly Sally

A Sassy Lady

HUSBANDS

Husbands are a wives’ best friend. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident and invincible. No wait ... I'm thinking of wine ... It's wine that does all that. Sorry. ------------------------♥♥♥-----------------------

For the Modern Woman ...

Yeah, I serve three meals a day … Frozen, microwave and take-out. Housework won't kill you … but why take the chance! Life is full of choices … So remove your shoes or scrub the floor. I wasn't going to do anything today. And so far, I'm right on schedule! Money is like manure. It's no good unless it's spread around! I tied paying my taxes with a smile. Turns out, they wanted money. Women don't have hot flashes, we have power surges! ------------------------♥♥♥-----------------------

Boat Troubles

During late spring one year, Sally was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem. Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer. -------------------------------------------------

Sky Diving

One day, Silly Sally's thrill-seeking friend convinces her to go skydiving. As the plane ascends, Sally is feeling very nervous and apprehensive. The friend says she will go first and jumps out of the plane. As she falls, she pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. Silly Sally finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?" -------------------------------------------------

LOOK FAMILIAR?

Silly Sally and a friend are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The friend says, "Here, let me see!" So Sally hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "Duh! It's me!" -------------------------------------------------

COFFEE DRINKER

Silly Sally is at a coffee shop, when she says to a fellow customer, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.'' The customer says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.'' The Spotlight – Page 6

WORD SEARCH

Across

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Evening news is where they begin with, "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

There is only one rule: Fill in the grid so that every row, column & small grid contains all digits 1-6 only once.

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1 Long 5 Pear type 9 Money 13 Part of a house 14 Do a dance 15 Band instrument 16 Decorative needle case 17 Swelling 18 Ca. University 19 Chile capital (2 wds.) 21 Washed off 23 Small fry 24 Beats 25 Descend by repelling 28 Perceive 31 Wild pig 32 Bread leavening 34 Dregs 36 Billion years 37 Be 38 Swish 39 Allows 41 Forestall 43 Flat bread 44 Mottled 46 Time periods 48 Professional football team 49 Baseball team 50 Esc 53 Ascetic 57 Modish 58 Desires 60 European monetary unit 61 Abhor 62 Writing 63 Nip 64 Outstanding 65 Factual 66 Back talk

The Spotlight – Page 7

Down 1 President (abbr.) 2 Small particle 3 Sentence part 4 Discharger 5 Emblem 6 Margarine 7 Short-term memory 8 Describing Russian government under czars 9 Advice 10 What children learn 11 Solitary 12 Chief 14 Thinly 20 Three 22 Business abbr. 24 Smarter, like an owl 25 Cainís brother 26 Showed disapproval 27 Jolly man 28 Challenged 29 Keepsake 30 Under, poetically 33 Roof overhang 35 Baths 40 Tidied 41 One who distributes alms 42 Teeny 43 Own 45 Trudge 47 School group 49 Particular style 50 Resound 51 George Bernard __ 52 Invoke 53 Tableland 54 Bonito 55 Colored part of eye 56 Policemen 59 East southeast

Solutions p. 15

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Grandpa’s Wisdom HABITS

Every Conversation Is a Hearing Test! How did you do today?

BAD HABITS: *** Bad habits are like comfortable beds--easy to get into but hard to get out of *** One way to break a bad habit is to drop it! *** Running down people is a habit...whether as a motorist or a gossiper. *** First we form habits, then they form us. *** Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you. *** A bad habit will never disappear miraculously it is an undo-it-ourselves project. *** Habit is memory in action. *** Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. – ( Ben Franklin) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GOOD HABITS: *** The best thing that you can give your children, next to good habits, are good memories. *** An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones. (W. Somerset Maugham) *** Good habits are formed; bad habits we fall into. *** Good habits result from resisting temptation. – (Proverb) *** Motivation is what gets us started - habit is what keeps us going. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Habit is either the worst of masters or the best of servants. Habit is a cable; we spin a thread of it every day and at last we can not break it. The chains of habit are usually too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change. A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit. As a twig is bent the tree inclines. Habits are first cobwebs, then cables. A habit is something you can do without thinking-which is why most of us have so many of them. Habit, my friend, is practice long pursued, that at last becomes man himself. It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing, but the habits he has accumulated during the first half. We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.

Hearing is the joy of living: the better you can hear, the better you find your way around in the world. You find it easier to join in daily life and you are more selfconfident in your work and with your family. Most take the gift of hearing for granted, they do not notice how the soundscape is slowly becoming blurred.

"I can actually still hear pretty well, but…"

Sometimes I can’t make out quiet voices." Or: "I didn’t hear the announcements again." Or: "I’ve started eating alone because conversation is too much of an effort for me." Or. "I hear everything, I just don't understand it …" Especially the sounds in the higher frequency range you find harder to understand: * Women’s and children’s voices, for example. * Consonants such as s, f, sh, and t are spoken more softly and quietly. With these gaps in what you can distinguish, you can indeed "hear", but you no longer understand it properly or fully. * This leads to misunderstandings: table not fable, heating not seating, confine not consign.

It creeps up on you…

And then, when the first difficulties arise with hearing or understanding, you try to compensate.: * You pay attention to lip movements and expressions, you try to read what you no longer hear. * You fill in the gaps by putting in what the other person might have said, relying on deductive reasoning and intuition. * You pay close attention to the context of a conversational situation or announcement in order to compensate for what you fail to hear. * You constantly scan your memories for helpful hints: What was this person talking about before? What did he say last time? It's hard work, when you can't make everything out clearly! All these compensatory efforts demand good concentration and constant attention. At first they calm your fears, because sometimes the compensation process goes really well. Over a longer period, though, these strategies require a huge effort and cannot be sustained. Another common problem is that, in situations with a lot of background noise (restaurants, stations, airports, parties etc.), it is necessary to concentrate particularly hard on the person one is speaking to, even with mild hearing loss, it is no longer possible to filter out what is being said using the compensation process alone.

The Spotlight – Page 10

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The Spotlight – Page 11

POTTERY, ETC.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING When cutting flowers from your garden, be sure to cut them only in the late evening or early morning. Have a bucket of water with you and use very sharp shears. After you cut the flowers, immediately submerge the stems in water, and then cut them again on the diagonal. The stems will then take in water, not air, and the blooms will last longer. UNLESS YOU USE A COASTER Never place a clay pot on wooden furniture. Water will seep through and can damage the wood finish. GRAVEL GETS IT DONE To keep mud from spattering when you water plants in window boxes, top the soil with one-half inch of gravel. JUST TAKE THEM OFF FIRST Nylon stockings make excellent storage holders for plant bulbs. Air is able to circulate which helps avoid mold. Store in a cool dry location. SAVE THE PLANTS Place a few short, heavy stakes in your garden to stop the garden hose from rolling over the plants when you drag the hose around. WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND WARM ALL OVER? If you're a seed, the answer is newspaper. Seeds need warmth, but not light, to germinate, so if you place newspaper (black and white only) over a newly sown area, it will keep the seeds warm and block out the light. THERE HAD TO BE SOME USE FOR THAT ANNOYING STUFF The packaging popcorn used for shipping works better than pebbles in the bottom of flower pots. They don't add much excess weight, and are efficient at retaining water. I'D HATE TO SEE THEIR ARTERIES A small amount of fat drippings placed at the base of a rose bush will keep it healthier and make it bloom more frequently.

• CHINA

Helpful Hints

NOT TOO MUCH OFF THE TOP Try and keep your lawn at about 3 inches high. By keeping the grass a bit higher, it keeps weeds from getting direct sunlight. SAVE THOSE ORANGE AND GRAPEFRUIT HALVES ... Because they make great containers for starting seeds. Just fill them with soil and seeds, and plant. After the seeds germinate the holders will decompose, leaving nutrients in the ground. WOODEN HANDLE HELP Maintain the wooden handles on your garden to old by applying a think coat of linseed oil.

LINENS

Professor Smugly

The Spotlight – Page 12

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Take for example, a colleague at work who keeps doing the same job over and over again despite the need to adopt new ways, or more efficient ways to get the job done. What is the reason for this lack of adaptation? One reason may be that he is too set in a comfort zone, because that is the way it has always worked for them and they know it cold. To ask them to adopt a new method of working requires them to move out of their comfort zone, and to take a risk, a risk that they might not be able to adopt the new procedure without making a mistake. If you want to help someone change, they must first want to change. If they do not want to change it is the same thing as leading a horse to water. You can get the horse there but you can’t make them drink. In the story below, an unknown writer reflects on the face that we can only change ourselves. "When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."

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The Spotlight – Page 14

Wait til he starts to swing, then shove it off!

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Sudoku Solutions #1 3 1 2 6 5 4

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Don't laugh! I need all the help I can get!

6 1 2 4 5 3

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The Spotlight – Page 15

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DIGITAL HEARING AIDS – FACTORY DIRECT Why Pay Retail?

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As Hearing Aid Manufacturers we can give you every Financial & Service Advantage.

The fact is - No one knows what they haven’t heard!

They’re not convinced of not hearing well & no one really wants to wear hearing aids.

Advice for Friends & Family:

• Don’t Nag - Calmly Discuss. Communication is important to you & you want both to feel comfortable. • Don’t Ignore the Problem. Don’t make an issue of it every day, but hearing loss doesn’t go away. • Don’t Compensate. If you talk louder than normal or put up with loud TV, then you’re helping them to

pretend there isn’t a problem. Yes, sometimes you have to speak up to be understood. But it is important to let them know that you’re talking louder than normal. - - We’re here for Family Counseling

Hi, my name is Walter Gobitas (Go-bite-us).

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Do You Know Lee Patton? “As an engineer I like to do my research. I consulted 7 dispensers & audiologist in the Tri-City area. I selected Walter Gobitas for the folowing reasons. 1/ He uses hearing aids & understands the problems. 2/ He owns a labratory with updated equipment & has the experience & training required to produce the most advanced hearing aids. 3/ His prices are good. 4/ I saw him show compassion kindness & patience with other elderly clients.I was greatly impressed by the craftsmanship and highly innovative design of my new hearing aids. The sound quality is impressive. Based on my own experience with Walter, I can earnestly recommend Remedy Hearing Aids.” Vista

Lee Patton - –P T S he

potlight

age

16