Activities planning and conflict management Conf.Ph.D. Minică Mirela Planning means saving time. The FORTE method requires an average of 8-10 minutes planning time of the day: Formulate a list of activities, Observe and estimate the necessary time, Book time for unexpected tasks, Draw priorities, Evaluate the progress of the tasks at the end of the day.
The 7 stages of drawing up a plan:
1. Define your goals. 2. Put on paper. 3. Set your strategy. 4. Set a deadline. 5. Put yourself on the job. 6. Do not fear failure. 7. Insist, insist, insist.
Activity 1: Objective: Self-evaluation of time management and the factors responsible for the waste of time and lack of planning. Difficulty level: low Group phase: intermediate Age: adults Group size: individual Duration: 10 minutes Place: classroom 1
Materials: individual work-sheets.
Deployment: Each student will complete his/her self-evaluation sheet. The group leader will communicate the assessment depending on the score obtained and each individual will interpret and comment on the results.
Evaluation 0-17 points: You don’t plan your time and you let your program to be led by the others. Your are not able to be organized, much less to organize others. It’s time to start the changing process! 18-24 points: You try to organize your time but you're not persistent enough to succeed. 25-30 points: You manage your time better, but you can still make improvements. 31-36 points: Congratulations, you're a model for anyone wishing to organize their time better. Share how you succeed!
Setting goals The objectives challenge you and make you act: you know where you want to get and what final score you want to accomplish. The person who has and consistently seeks concrete targets directs his forces to subconsciously works out, by self-motivation and self-discipline. 80:20 rule (Pareto's Law): 20% of time spent contributing to the achievement of 80% of the results.
The ABC analysis is more efficient when: •
Plan A, only one or two loads per day
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Target two or three tasks B
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Assign some time for tasks C
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Stay focused on results and not on activities.
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Self-assessment Setting the priorities through the ABC method •
What are the A tasks in the activity that you develop today?
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Starting today, what will you do to make sure that you do at least one task a day?
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What are you going to do with the time gained from establishing consistent priorities
and their compliance?
Activity 2: Objective: Self-evaluation of the personal planning goals and concrete actions to be taken. Difficulty level: low Group phase: intermediate Age: adults Group size: 4 persons Duration: 30 minutes Place: classroom Materials: individual work-sheets, sheets of paper, pens, flipchart.
Deployment: completing the sheet of the individual objectives. Comparing the segment of professional objectives and of the station between the group members and identifing similarities and differences.
Activity 3: How the others see us and... how we see ourselves
Objective: observation and awareness of the positive and negative aspects of the own personality and of the others. Difficulty level: low Group phase: initial Age: all ages Group size: 10-15 participants Duration: 15 minutes
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Place: a large room Materials: paper and pencil.
Deployment: Each person will complete his/her individual job skills sheet. The leader invites the participants to sit in a circle, each with a sheet of paper and a pencil. Each group member is given a number and on each sheet there are written the others’ numbers in ascending order. Participants will have to write on paper some thought, or an adjective, a feature on everyone else in the group, to understand them. The sheets, without being signed by the participants will be assigned to the leader. He will read the text of each participant, identified by the number previously assigned. There will result a breach in the personality of each member, as it apperas to others and most of the time it is known by the talking individual. The group leader will read each others opinion and it will be compared with the individual characterization chart. It will comment and explain the differences in perception, which often form the basis of interpersonal conflicts.
Tips for the leader. The leader will invite all members to comment, accept, approve or disapprove what the others have noted and underlined.
10 errors in thinking 1. Analysis in terms of all or nothing. 2. Perfectionism. 3. Generalization. 4. Catastrophic thinking. 5. Exaggerated comparison. 6. Unreserved acceptance of the opinion of others. 7. “I know what others think”. 8. Personalization. 9. “I should have observed it.” 10. Thinking with your heart.
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The conflict is a tensional state which occurs when two or more parts of the organization must interact to perform a task, to make a decision or to accomplish a goal or to solve a problem, and: – the parties’ interests are different; – the actions of a part determine negative reactions in the others; – the parties, uncapable to solve the controversy, criticise mutually. In the life of an organization, of a group, in the professional activity, conflicts are inevitable. They can bring great harm to productivity, but they may be synonymous with dynamism and progress. The sources of conflict in an organization can not be eliminated, but the manager must be able to identify these sources, to understand their nature, then, given both the organization's objectives and of the individual to be able to act to reduce the negative effects and the use of the positive effects. In statements aimed at reconciling opposing points of view, the specific form of communication used is negotiation.
In terms of their essence, conflicts can be divided, like the opinions expressed by Schmidt and Kochan, in two categories: essential conflicts / substantive and affective conflicts. To these we could add a third category, pseudo conflicts or handling conflicts.
a.l. Essential / substance conflicts are determined by the existence of different objectives and they are manifested by a greater intensity when individuals meet their own needs through the group. Reducing the conflict states is achieved by focussing on those objectives that enable a consensus. The objective is clearly defined, more precisely, the chances are higher settlement.
a.2. Emotional conflicts are triggered by emotional states aimed at interpersonal relations. The social tension and the suspicion state represent, for the Romanian reality, two main sources of conflict. The reduction of the conflicting state might be reached in this case, by eliminating aggression and hostility in personal relationships.
a.3. Pseudo conflicts or handling conflicts. These conflicts have an important share in totalitarian and post-totalitarian societies, being a result of dishonesty and duplication of individuals.
Solutions for solving a problem 5
Define the problem What is the cause of the conflict? What does each person wish or need? Think about two or three positive options How can we solve the problem in a way more honest and reliable? Is there a possibility for these people to negotiate? Choose a pleasant option for each part. Which of the options is favorable for each part? Think of the consequences of the decision taken
What will the people in conflict do after the decision making?
The problem can be: a new person, a professional failure, meeting with a personality, an organizational conflict, a topic of meeting (seminar), virtually all the concrete and / or the abstract. Beware of preconceptions and stereotypes. Think of as many differences of perception that has the problem. Think of as many alternatives to solve, choose what is most appropriate. Be open to changes, flexible. Check with a colleague, two heads are better than one. Do not be too proud to request assistance, you will not gain anything from wanting to seem omniscient; your value, your reputation is somewhere else altogether. Review what was made, their revaluation, their repetition will clarify and correct your work. Encompass the whole problem. Choose the formula which is more familiar to you. Use any information. Be systematic. Divide a ”big” the problem in smaller fragments. Look up the problems in the problems. Establish a hierarchy of problems. Make sure all the terms used are clearly defined and unambiguous. Ensure the timeliness of the problem. Reformulating the problem can suggest multiple solutions. Sometimes, the unknowns need to be identified to help clear up what you know. Apply horizontal and vertical thinking and determine which is more appropriate. 6
Check your logic. Reduce the problem to a single unknown. Also, the close correlation conflict - communication is determined by the fact that the communication process itself can cause conflicts, can be a symptom of conflict or lead to conflict resolution. Any communication behaviour is actually a form of externalization and any communication affects the behaviour. Any communication is an interaction, so a tool of interinfluence.
Watkins, referring to the characteristics of interpersonal conflict, formulated two axioms: Axiom 1. The conflict can be solved or created only through the communication process (using verbal and nonverbal language), because people can interact and exchange messages only through communication. Axiom 2. The conflict is generated by the fact that both ”sides in conflict” also have objectives that mutually exclude themselves. The mutually exclusive objectives may exist due to concret facts or different value systems.
Conclusions: Only through communication the conflicting parties can determine the existence of a solution which takes into account the objectives of both sides; it is possible that uncertainty, insecurity and ambiguous information generated by a failing communication is due to the perception of objectives as excluding each other; as the differences in value systems induce differences between perceptions, they may constitute a source of conflict; resorting to positive communication, empathic listening, self-exposure may lead to the establishment of a common basis for discussion, for interests, for sharing common values; accurate communication reduces the perceptual differences and in this manner reduces the likelihood of conflict.
Activity 4: Looking for a job
Objective: reflecting on personal actions and your capacity to impose and affirm. Difficulty level: low Group phase: intermediate
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Age: 8 years to adult Group size: 6-15 participants. Duration: at least one hour, depending on the number of participants. Place: a room large enough. Materials: a table, chairs, sheets of paper, pens.
Deployment: Sitting in a circle, the leader will begin the discussion on work, about the difficulties of finding a job or about the need of change if their job is unsatisfactory. The participants can enter the theme of children's aspirations in the future. The leader chooses from the group a participant who knows how to impose in an authoritarian way and to be able to ask questions well articulated. His role will be assigned by the chief of staff. Another one offers to act as secretary. Other group members will all be aspiring to the potential job. The chief of staff will sit at a table or a desk with a sheet of paper and a pen. Remotely from across the room, the participants will sit, as they would be in a waiting room. The leader will propose the following scenario: a renowned private school has opened a branch in the city and gave a press announcement in selecting personnel to fill various positions, from director to social worker, teacher, counsellor and human-sciences teacher. From time to time, the office secretary will invite an aspirant who will interview with the chief of staff and will tell himself what he wants. You will be able to propose a specific job choice; you will say everything you will find useful for employment. You can choose the age, family and social conditions, type of work to which you aspire, any references and financial claims. The chief of staff will ask questions and will take a small exploratory discourse. He will take the data of different participants and will conclude by saying that the results of the interview will be given later. Once completed the interviews, each will expose verbally what he felt, will make comments and remarks about how his colleagues behaved during the self-presentation and about what was observed during the game.
Tips for the leader. To help the chief of staff to formulate necessary questions for the employment interview and to suggest him to adopt a neutral attitude, undiscouraging. 8
During the final discussion, to examine each level of aspiration, the self-esteem that underlies the work requests, to impose their own way. The appropriate and inappropriate behaviours to obtain employment. In the discussion, it will be useful to consider how they played the role of chief of staff and secretary. To demand explanations if during the interview they felt fear of the authorities and reasons for choosing a specific job, age, familial or social role. To stimulate the group in providing useful feedback to each participant. This game can be proposed in the event that a person in the group has really to deal with such a job interview situation, the request for advancement.
Activity 5: What you really want
Objective: the distinction between what you ”want” and what you ”should” do. Difficulty level: medium Group phase: intermediate Age: adults Group size: 6-20 participants. Duration: ½ - 1 hour, depending on the number of participants. Place: a room large enough. Materials: -
Deployment. The leader invites the participants to sit in a circle to think of a situation that usually make them feel compelled to act in a certain way. After he left enough time for thinking and remembering of an experience required for above, the game starts. One by one, each, using the verb ”should”, will express what they thought. At the end of this first stage, each participant will say what he felt from uttering the phrase with the verb ”should”. One by one, the leader will invite the participants to replace the expression ”should” with ”want”. This way, the second phase begins, in which each, in turns, will say what he said previously, but in another form. Finally, the leader will again invite everyone to say what they felt. At the end of the game, each participant will have to try to see the difference
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between the two ways of expression and which of them made them feel more spontaneous and free.
Variants. The leader may propose a general topic for conversation (e.g. Bosnia, AIDS, etc.), to assess the possible difficulties in expression even on not personal issues; in this way, it can also be used a tape recorder for replaing, after the game ended, the arguments presented. The leader will propose to the one who wants to change his statement to repeat the game.
Tips for the leader. This game helps understand how do we feel sometimes when we are compelled to do certain things without having the mood and to understand that often these things do have an external motivation - for example, from an important person or because of social stereotypes. So it is advisable to ask the participants to recognize that ”should” as something of their own or to remember the fact that they have internalized it; that thing is useful for understanding the discomfort felt by the subject.
Activity 6: Further reading: Illustrated stories
Images encourage students to tell their own conflicts. The situations are interpreted this way formulating possible ways of action. Such illustrated stories serve for discussing problematic situations and conflicts and can bring to light the different ways of perceiving and interpreting the situation and various options for action.
Activity 7: Further reading: Scenario
A particular situation is developed systematically through a scenario. We are talking here about types of action resulting from an initial situation. These alternatives must be systematically developed and outlined. The scenarios are designed to provide the potential of future actions and to describe the conditions and their ability to achieve. What (principal) types of action are there in crucial situations? What other options arise from decisions taken?
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Such a sequence of possible decisions and / or actual activities will be the subject of a group activity. The scene should be followed in all its variants of implementation. The purpose of this experiment is exploiting variations and alternatives in thinking and estimation of all the repercussions.
Procedure: On a large sheet of paper will be seen all variants of action. The string of the action will be pursued until there will be found one or more solutions. The second step will be a record of the actions and finding the reasons which make these actions possible. The key scenes will be explained in the presentation and in the discussion of the project.
Further reading: At each stage there will be formulated questions, there will be provided additional information and there will be expressed opinions. All these will be recorded next to each scene.
Activity 8: Further reading: Rules for everyday conflicts
Learn to quarrel - 7 rules for a successful fight Arguments do not create more distance between us, often they make us come really close based on mutual trust. In a quarrel, the sensitive side of a person and her deepest feelings come out. And, arguments make our masks fall and we become who we really are. Relationships can become stronger because of this. Understanding and mutual respect are thus stimulated. It is therefore important to learn constructive forms of conflict resolution.
1. Immediate discussion of the problem You should not wait too much when you are nervous. You should talk about the problem right then or soon after, when the opportunity arises.
2. Let’s talk first person singular In a conflict, the more I talk about my own feelings, the better will the others know and understand me. When in conflict, I rather use the pronoun ”I” instead of ”you”, and I will see
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that there are other advantages: I see better what part I actually am and I will understand what I want.
3. Do not interrupt the other’s speech I will let my interlocutor to speak and I will listen carefully without interrupting him. I will make sure to pay attention to feelings, needs, interests expressed by him / her. I'll try to find out from the words he / she says which are his / her interests, needs and feelings and respect them.
4. Let’s talk to the others directly and look him in the eye If I want tl say something to someone, then I will tell him directly. This means that I will not address the entire group, when I actually talk to a single person.
5. Finding a common perspective on the problem What do we argue about? What do I think? Which are the causes of the problem? What does my partner think of the conflict? Is it possible to find a common perspective on the problem?
6. Staying on the subject in a discussion I will remain at the problem I want to solve. I will not let my conflict partner to let this problem and to jump from one subject to another.
7. Avoiding blaming Mutual blamings won’t solve the problem; they will only fortify each part.
Bibliography: André Moreau - Psihoterapii. Metode şi tehnici, Editura Trei, Bucureşti, 2007 Sabina Manes (coordonator)- 83 de jocuri psihologice pentru animarea grupurilor, Editura Polirom, Iaşi, 2008 *** Managementul stresului professional, vol. III, Managementul conflictelor– Psiholog Doru ZANE, pg.173-183, Editura Ministerului Internelor şi Reformei Administrative,2007 ***Organizează-ţi bine timpul, Rentrop&Straton, Bucureşti,1997 www.dadalos.org
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