AUGUST 2016

a spiritual parenting resource

homefrontmag.com

GETTING STARTED

20 DOES BACK TO SCHOOL HAVE YOU

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40 3 QUALITIES OF A MARRIAGE MENTOR.

DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO WAIT FOR YOU?

GOING BANANAS?

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We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely. God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. In this issue, we explore the environment of FAITH COMMUNITY. The Bible refers to this community in many ways: the body of Christ, the believers, and those who walk in the faith. Since God designed us to live in community, there are experiences with Him that can only be had within the context of relationships. In those relationships, we experience aspects of God’s character that are new to us, we receive a fuller picture of who we are, we get new pictures of what our Father’s love looks like, and we learn to embrace our true identity in Christ as it is affirmed and called out by those who love us.

Michelle Anthony

Pastor of Children and Parents | New Life Church Family Ministry Ambassador | David C Cook Twitter @TruInspiration

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME Family Verse

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Capturing the Season

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Storytelling

8

Worship

10

Conversation Starters

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Create

12

Game Time

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Traditions

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Family Time Recipe

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Kids in the Kitchen

20

Prayer

22

God's Word

24

Tot Time Rhyme

26

Blessing

27

Taking Action

28

Global

30

Back-to-School Photo Props A Reassignment Never Alone

Teacher Talk

Lunch Box Notes Rock, Paper, Scissors, Faith Community Back-to-School Feast One-Pot Sloppy Joes

We're Going Bananas! Pray It Forward

Friends Who Wait for You Along the Road

Even Here Movement United Arab Emirates

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT

OUR MISSION

Student ID

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Everyday Mom Blog

34

Everyday Dad Blog

36

Tough Topics

38

Marriage

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Spiritual Grandparenting

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Thin Places

INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life. EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

Friendship Abundant Power of Community

Daring to Invite Little Hearts into Big Moments 3 Qualities of a Marriage Mentor 5 Things ...

Design and layout by Stephanie Reindel ([email protected]) © 2016 New Life Church

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EDITOR'S NOTE What does living in a faith community look like? Sometimes it looks like standing in church worshipping God with complete strangers, united by our common love for Jesus. Other times it looks like one single friend simply showing up exactly when I need her. Something as simple as a text at the right moment, or a word of encouragement to spur me on in a difficult season, reminds me I am not alone; God has knit me into the community of His people. I think this sense of community is what Fred Fate experienced and shares with us in the STORYTELLING article (page 8) when the unexpected love of friends and family helped him transition into a reassignment of life. This issue of HomeFront also focuses on going back to school— from our KIDS IN THE KITCHEN (page 20) to our EVERYDAY MOM AND DAD BLOGS (pages 34 and 36) we want to support you with encouragement to kick this new school year off right. The bottom line is: we need each other. It’s clear throughout Scripture that God did not design us to live life alone. Whether it’s the excitement of the first day of school or the difficulties of a health scare like we read about in TOUGH TOPICS (page 38), life is better when other believers surround us with love and strengthen us with truth. Our hope is that this issue of HomeFront will give you fresh ideas on how to come alongside those who are already in your faith community and to be on the lookout for others you can invite in.

Debbie Guinn

Editor in Chief | New Life Church [email protected]

WWW.HOMEFRONTMAG.COM Things you won't want to miss: • Parent blogs to inspire you • Mobile-friendly format • Lots of downloadable giveaways • Marketplace to purchase article bundles and more! The website is filled with fresh ideas and creative ways to provide you with even more resources to help spiritually parent your children.

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FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory. Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

FAITH COMMUNITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

Social media has made it easy to document your child’s first day of school. This fun back-to-school photo prop can be made in only few steps, and is a great craft to make going back to school memorable! WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Paint the unfinished wooden frame in one color of acrylic paint.

2.

Select a different color(s) and paint the wooden letters.

3.

Paint the wooden rectangle with chalkboard paint.

4.

Allow all to dry overnight.

5.

Position wooden rectangle and wooden letters on the photo frame as desired.

6.

Use a hot glue gun to attach the rectangle and letters to the photo frame.

7.

Allow your child to help place her favorite embellishments and then watch as you, the parent, attach with the hot glue gun. (It is not recommended that children use glue guns.)

• embellishments (pencils, rulers, child's favorite activities, etc.)

8.

Using the chalk, write the grade your child will be entering.

• small unpainted wooden letters— 1-S-T-D-A-Y-O-F-S-C-H-O-O-L

9.

Have your child hold the prop to frame her face and snap away!

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • an unfinished frame (large enough to frame your child’s face) • small unfinished wood rectangle (to create chalkboard) • chalkboard paint • acrylic paints • paintbrushes

• hot glue gun with glue sticks

We’d love to see your family's back-toschool photos! Please share them with us by using the hashtag #homefrontmag.

• chalk

by Debbie Guinn Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has more than 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Her most cherished time is spent hanging out with her grandkids—they are her favorite people on this planet! Instagram @homefrontsp Twitter @homefrontsp 7

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family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

A Reassignment gelato. Little did I know, there was no gelato in that part of town.

I have always defined significance as a "million-dollar word.” My teaching career had been about working with colleagues to make a difference in the lives of students eager to learn. Now, facing retirement from a job that was anything but routine, the thought of becoming insignificant created bittersweet anxiety and trepidation. Could it be that I was pushing myself “out to pasture” far too soon, relegating myself to watch the world pass me by?

After dinner, we drove to our “gelato” destination. We got out of our cars and began walking. After walking several blocks, we paused in front of a movie theatre. While waiting, I looked up at the marquee to see what movie was playing. The title, And That’s a Wrap, didn’t mean much to me. Waiting for the group to move on, I glanced again at the marquee. Suddenly, my jaw dropped as I noticed my name positioned just below the title of the movie. Grinning widely, my five-year-old grandson, Landon, encouraged me to move into the theatre. As I walked hesitantly toward the doors, I noticed dozens of posters of me and the movie title taped over the “Coming Attractions” poster windows. As I entered the foyer, I was stunned by the sight of my all-time favorite desserts placed on a long table leading up to the theatre doors.

But, what happened on the second day of my retirement changed all that. This surprise occasion rejuvenated my vision of what the future could hold. Rather than looking at retirement, I found myself anticipating reassignment. This God-designed, life-affirming, faith-community surprise started out simply enough. My family discussed the idea of having a typical family dinner at a local restaurant followed by a short drive to get 8

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sto ry t e l l i n g

significance in my life through teaching, supporting, loving, forgiving, growing up, and encouraging ME to be a better person.

As soon as I pulled back the doors, loud shouts of “Surprise!” filled the air. The theatre aisle was filled with people of all ages; hugs and handshakes were abundant; and I heard “Congratulations” echoing throughout the auditorium from family, close friends and their families, colleagues, current students, and alumni.

Hebrews 10:24 asks us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” I pray that the memories of that evening will not only allow for pleasant recollections, but will become a charge for me to live life more fully, without hesitation, in serving and loving others—as God desires from each of us.

Time seemed to fade away as several people stepped onto the stage and shared kind words with me and my wife, Ginny. Others in the audience joined in with their own warm appreciation. Although my retirement was the focal point of the evening, in a greater sense, we were in the midst of a life celebration designed by God, put together by family and dear friends, and enjoyed by all who were present. We were reminded that God wants us to celebrate each other—to show love through festivity and encouragement for those who are entering significant transitions like retirement and reassignment.

As one of my daughter’s dear friends, a young, terminally-ill cancer patient, once shared when asked why he spoke so vigorously about loving and serving God, “As long as I have breath, I have work to do.” That thought sticks with me daily, most especially now in my “reassignment.”

Indeed, I was humbled, honored, transfixed, awed, and deeply appreciative of all who had been part of this evening’s grand surprise. Even those who were unable to attend were quick to share their feelings on various social networks.

by Fred Fate After a lifetime of teaching, Fred retired this past June from Los Angeles City College. As members of Grace Brethren Church, Long Beach, Fred and his wife, Ginny, look forward to spending more time with loving family and dear friends, and further serving God in ways that He already has planned. Discovery awaits. Always.

After the event had ended, I reflected upon the richness of the evening. My impressions centered on those who were present—people of all ages who had 9

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family time

wo r s h i p

to the song and started weeping. It was a worshipful aha! moment.

I’m a bit of a loner. Don’t get me wrong … I love people and social gatherings, but given the choice, I would rather cozy up with my own thoughts or a book. Being a lone wolf (ha!) can make it difficult for me to ask for help. I don’t feel ashamed to seek help, and I don’t feel too proud either. I just don’t think about it. It doesn’t even cross my mind. I’ve always been that way.

The lyrics in the song say, “Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own. You are faithful, God, you are faithful.” I always knew God was with me, but He used my faith community to show me that I wasn’t alone. I had never been alone. I didn’t have to go through this by myself. Everything they did to help our family was worship. Each tiny moment, prayer, and act of service joined together into the most beautiful song to glorify God.

Then three years ago, my world crashed. My mom fell, was in a two-month coma, and then she was gone. During her coma, I was in a daze. Those 60 days were overwhelming. It was a tremendous feat to organize childcare and school drop-offs and pick-ups for my four small children, so my husband and I could make the two-hour drive to the hospital.

Often God’s glory can be seen more clearly through our faith community. That’s why God designed us to live in community with other believers.

It was impossible to do it alone. There was no way I could manage by myself, and I wasn’t even really sure how to ask people for that kind of help.

Worship can be coming alongside people to show them they aren’t alone and to become part of their story. And what a good story it will be!

Thankfully, we had just joined a church life group, and I discovered I didn’t need to ask. Our faith community surrounded us with prayer, emotional support, and practical help. To this day, I have never seen a group of people step up in so many ways—babysitting, meals, encouraging words, and just being with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone.

by Kara Noel Lawson Kara Noel is a chicken-loving, tea-drinking, fiction-reading, seeker of grace who is savoring small moments everyday. Kara homeschools her four children and writes from the heart on her blog, Small Things Are Big Things. You can find her speaking to moms groups about how the small things in our lives can make a big impact.

When things started going downhill with my mom’s health and we knew she would be going home to be fully restored with our Father in heaven, one of my friends sent me a link to the Matt Redman song, “Never Alone.” (If you’ve never heard that song, it’s worth a listen.) I sat in front of my computer listening

Blog smallthingsarebigthings.com Instagram @KaraNoelLawson Twitter @KaraNoelLawson 10

FAITH COMMUNITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

Teacher Talk Teachers work hard, often spending countless hours creating a rich learning experience for their students. Many of them use their own money to set up their classrooms. But how often are they recognized for their sacrificial contribution to our lives? Start a conversation with your children about ways your family can support the teachers you will encounter this school year.

GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING

• Is there someone in our faith community who is a teacher? • What are some ways we can support the teachers we know? • What are some ways we can show God’s love to our own teachers this year? by Debbie Guinn

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c r e at e

Lunch Box 1 + 3 = 0

Notes

As our children get ready to begin another school year, the possibility of negative comments and influences is a real concern for most parents. Research has shown that it takes approximately three positive comments to cancel out one negative comment. These Lunch Box Notes are a great way to encourage your children with positive comments and God’s truth. These notes will also become a fun way for your children to spur on their friends and teachers toward “love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). WHAT YOU’LL NEED • white card stock • crayons • scissors • recipe holder WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Print note cards from bit.ly/homefront-lunchboxnotes on white card stock.

2.

Decorate and color the note cards. You can write your own notes on the included blank cards as well!

3.

Store the cards in the recipe box in a prominent place in your home so anyone can use them when they want to encourage someone! Some ideas include adding a note to your child’s or spouse’s lunchbox, placing one on top of a pillow right before bed, or slipping a card onto a teacher’s desk at school.

by Debbie Guinn

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family time

game time

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family time

game time

Rock, Paper, Scissors,

Faith Community !

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

round. They will pair up, play the round, and again, the people who lose will cheer for the winners. Continue playing rounds until the group ends with one final winner and everyone celebrates.

• your family and friends BEFORE YOU START Gather everyone around in the same area. Explain to your family and friends that you are all about to participate in an epic Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament! Explain the rules to Rock, Paper, Scissors for anyone who does not know.

LET’S ADD A TWIST! Begin another tournament, but this time, ask all of the winners to cheer for the people who lose! Make it even louder and more exciting by playing a third round and encouraging both winners and losers to cheer for one another at the same time!

[Rules: You and a partner each make a fist with one hand and rest it on the flat, open palm of your other hand. At the same time, you both lift your fists up and gently tap them back down on your palms three times. As your fists hit your palms, both people say, “rock … paper … scissors.” On the word scissors, and the third and final tap to your palm, both players say and display (using their hand that has been in a fist) either a rock, a paper, or scissors. For a rock, you keep your hand in a fist; for paper, you open your hand flat; and for scissors, you stick out your index and middle fingers. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper. If both players land with the same symbol, they play again to break the tie. The person whose hand gesture loses is out.]

REMEMBER Being part of a faith community is a special and important privilege. God created us to live in community with one another, letting us experience the sweetness of love and support from others. Our faith community will be the people to cheer us on whether we win or lose, speak words of encouragement, and walk alongside us through all life brings. As Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Remind your children that being part of a faith community means we not only receive the love and encouragement of others, but we also pour out to people around us. What a wonderful and beautiful design!

TIME TO PLAY! Pair up everyone in the room. If there is an odd number, make a group of three. Two people from the group of three will play one round. The winner of that pair will then play the third person for the tournament.

by Heather DePartee Heather is a newlywed and works as an instructional aide for kindergarten students in Fresno, CA. She spent three-and-a-half years working on the Families team at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA, as an assistant to the Early Childhood Director, participating in the development of Tru Curriculum, and as an administrative assistant to the team.

Explain to the group that everyone will begin the first round when you say, “go.” The people who lose the first round will cheer for the people who won. Then all of the winners will move on to the second

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family time

traditions

Back -to -School

Feast

looking at their cards, we read the verses together. From there, we discuss the Scripture as a family— pulling out details we find interesting. Each kid shares something they’re looking forward to about the year and something they‘re feeling uneasy about. This part is my favorite because I’m able to catch a glimpse into their hearts, allowing me to pray specifically for them on the day school starts. We end the meal with a challenge to walk boldly and a prayer for courage.

A new school year can stir a lot of emotions in a young child—especially when that year will be experienced at a new school, complete with a new community, new classrooms, and new teachers, with new rules and rhythms to follow. This was the backdrop for my family a few years ago. My children were new, scared, and not quite sure how to process all that was happening. I, too, was feeling anxious for my kids and needing great wisdom from the Lord as to how to care for their little hearts during this new season in our lives.

The most amazing thing about our Back-toSchool Feast night is not only the closeness we feel as a family, but also the great joy and trust we feel toward our great God! In one hour, we are able to go to God’s Word as a family, put off all fear, and cling to the truth of who God is to those who love Him! Our children are able to see that Christians do, in fact, feel afraid, but, unlike the world, we have a God who has promised to rescue us from our fear by giving us His very life.

Believing that God’s Word is truly a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm 119:105), my husband and I started a new tradition. With God’s Word as our centerpiece, we set a beautiful table for our children—complete with fancy plates and glass goblets overflowing with lemonade. And so began a tradition that we have carried out every year since. Together, we chose to see new as an opportunity for our family to run to God’s Word to find shelter, and then to run boldly out into the world with great courage.

And this year, we have a new new: we’re inviting the neighbors!

So, what does this look like?

by Rachel Marshman

A week before our Back-to-School Feast, the kids get together to create the menu for the occasion. On the day of the feast, I decorate our table and place an index card at each setting with our theme verse for the year. I want the kids to be able to keep this card in a back pocket or notebook so they can easily pull it out at school when they’re having a hard time. I also get out craft supplies to make little crowns for each child—as an extra way to remind them they are loved! With the table set, the meal laid out, and our kids

Rachel Marshman is married to Jeff, mom to four spirited kids, and living in community at Fellowship in the Pass in Beaumont, CA, where her husband serves as an associate pastor. She is the co-creator of the Marshman family mission statement: to be doers of the Word, lovers of one another, and seekers of fun and adventure. You can read her blog where she writes about Love & War and the neverending love of Jesus Christ. marshmanfamilyalbum.blogspot.com

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family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

These easy one-pot Sloppy Joes are a delicious way to ease back into the busy routines of the school year. Consider using this recipe for your Back-to-School Feast detailed in our Traditions article (page 16). You may also want to double this recipe and invite someone from your community over to join you! WHAT YOU’LL DO

Prep Time: 15 min. Cook time: 4 hrs. Yields: 8 servings WHAT YOU’LL NEED • hamburger buns • 2 pounds ground beef • 1/2 cup onion, finely chopped

1.

Put all the ingredients into the crockpot and stir to combine.

2.

Cook on LOW for 4 hours.

3.

Serve on buns.

by Debbie Guinn

• 2 stalks celery, finely chopped • 1 (14.5 ounce) can tomato sauce • 1/4 cup brown sugar • 1/4 cup ketchup • 1/4 cup barbecue sauce • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce • 1½ 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard • 1 tablespoon prepared mustard • 1 teaspoon chili powder • 1 teaspoon garlic powder * For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

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family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

Don’t worry, moms and dads—these back-to-school breakfast banana recipes will make your kids WANT to get going in the morning! You may even want to consider making double batches to give to your friends and neighbors to help their school year get off to a great start too! * For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

PAN-FRIED CINNAMON BANANAS Prep Time: 5 min. Cook Time: 5 min. Yields: 2 servings WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 2 slightly overripe bananas • 2 tablespoons sugar • 1 teaspoon cinnamon • 1 teaspoon nutmeg • cooking spray WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Slice the bananas into rounds, approximately ⅓1-inch thick.

2.

In a small bowl, combine sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

3.

Spray a large skillet with cooking spray. Warm over medium heat.

4.

Add the banana rounds and cook on one side for about 2 to 3 minutes.

5.

During the last minute of cooking on the first side, sprinkle about half ½of the cinnamon mixture over the banana rounds.

6.

Flip the rounds to the other side, sprinkle with the remaining cinnamon mixture, and cook about 2 to 3 more minutes, until the bananas are soft and warmed through.

7.

Serve with toast or a bowl of yogurt for a yummy back-to-school breakfast.

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BANANA SUSHI Prep time: 10 min. Yields: 1 roll WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 1 tablespoon Nutella, peanut butter, or almond butter • 1 banana per roll • 1 whole wheat wrap per roll WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Lay your wrap on a breadboard and slather with Nutella or nut butter.

2.

Place the banana on top of your coating.

3.

Roll the wrap as you would sushi (or a burrito).

4.

Cut into 2-inch sections and enjoy!

BREAKFAST BANANA POPS Prep Time: 10 min. Yields: 4 pops WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 2 bananas • yogurt of choice • granola • add-on ideas: mini chocolate chips, coconut shreds, cinnamon sugar, raisins, etc. • popsicle sticks WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Pour granola into a very shallow dish or plate.

2.

Peel bananas, cut in half, and insert popsicle sticks.

3.

Dip bananas into yogurt—or spread yogurt on bananas with a butter knife or small spatula.

4.

Roll into granola and add-ons.

5.

Place on a tray lined with parchment or waxed paper and freeze.

6.

Store uneaten pops in the freezer until ready to serve!

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p r ay e r

I used to think I could love God without loving other people. My teenage years were full of pride and judgment and wanting to be the best. That critical and competitive spirit robbed me of the joy of truly knowing and loving those in my faith community. We sometimes view those around us as burdens, competitors, or inconveniences— things to be avoided rather than people to be loved. Faith can become private and all about “Jesus and me.” The problem with this mentality is that, though faith in Christ is indeed personal, it is not meant to be lived out in isolation. We need each other. We need our faith community, and our faith community needs us. We are to encourage one another, help one another, and pray for one another. If our faith community is marked by loving one another well, it will be an attractive witness to the outside world. As we reach out to those who do not know God, we can invite them into this loving community of faith.

specific jar or bowl and display it in a prominent place in your home as a visual reminder that you are collecting money for this activity. Every time a family member places money in the jar, say a prayer for the family who will be blessed by your generosity. At the end of the month, choose a drive-through restaurant to go to for dinner one night. Before you go to dinner, write an encouraging note to go along with your giving fund. As you place your order at the drive-through window, hand the employee your giving fund and ask him to use it to pay for the order of the car behind you! Hand him your note as well, asking him to give it to the people in that car. Pray for the people you just blessed as you drive away. Pray that they will come to know Jesus and that they will become part of a loving faith community.

This month, as a family, do a fun “pay it forward” activity rooted in generosity and prayer. Throughout the month, encourage your children to donate to a giving fund. Designate a

Emily is the Director of Family Ministries at New Denver Church in Denver, CO. She is enjoying the newlywed life with her husband, Phil, and recently graduated with her MDiv from Denver Seminary.

by Emily Schulz

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family time

g o d ' s wo r d MY FRIENDS ARE WAITING

life and the security of being loved and cared for. For them, a congregation of faith can provide the experience of being part of a close family.”

One morning when my son was only four, he plopped himself on my bed. Carefully he leaned forward to my face and proceeded to gently open my eyes with his tiny fingers. I heard him whisper, “Don’t close eyes, Mommy.” Half-asleep, I said, “Yes, Mommy close eyes,” hoping that he would get the idea and let me have just a few more minutes.

It’s tempting for parents to have the perspective that life has become too busy and cluttered, and therefore Sunday is the only time to simply rest. We may have good intentions, but often getting to church can become “just one more thing” in a busy family schedule.

But alas, he did not.

HEAR IT

“Mommy, today is Sunday, and my friends are waiting for me,” he said with such sincerity. Instantly I was awake. I was surprised that my son knew it was Sunday, wanted to go to church, and understood that there was a community of friends waiting for him. Much to his delight and my satisfaction, we pulled the family together and made our way to the community that had been, for a moment, taken for granted. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND We weren’t created to live in isolation. We weren’t meant to do this thing called the Christian life alone. Without being involved in a vibrant faith community, we can begin to live secluded lives of faith. When this happens, we literally start to forget who we are. Our identity has a profound impact on the way we live and the choices we make. What we believe about who we are and where we aim our hearts determines the outcome of our lives for eternity. As the battle rages against our identity, the faith community brings us strength. God designed the faith community to build up each believer for this battle that we face when we leave the security of “family.” This faith community offers a support system among people who are like-minded, who believe the same truths, and who ultimately want the same things out of this life. These shared beliefs and values provide a powerful foundation for our children, especially during their developmental years. And as our children grow older, weekends at church or faith-inspired events within a vibrant community of believers give our children a momentary reprieve from the world’s pressures and antagonistic jeers. Christian educators Merton Strommen and Richard Hardel illustrate this point in their book, Passing on the Faith:

Read Acts 4:31–37. This passage tells us about a time in biblical history after the Holy Spirit had been given to those who believed in Jesus Christ and His salvation. The faith community was so impacted by the power and love the Holy Spirit brought that they couldn’t help but share what they had, encourage and support one another, as well as gather together to worship. Ask: In what ways do you see the Holy Spirit helping our family to share? Encourage or support others? Give us the desire to be together with other Christians to worship? DO IT As you prepare for the upcoming school schedules and the demands of sports, music classes, and homework, don’t neglect to weave in a regular commitment to be involved in your local church. If you don’t make it a priority, it will be far too easy for the time to get gobbled up by other activities. Today my son is twenty-three years old and recently moved to a new community in Washington state. On his first Sunday there, he went looking for a new church to build relationships with those who would inevitably become the “friends that are waiting for him” each weekend. Ask each person in the family: What is one thing you would be willing to give up to make being part of a faith community in our local church a priority? Pray: Ask God to give you courage and strength to say “no” to other things that may clutter your family’s time and turn attention away from authentic community. Adapted from Spiritual Parenting: An Awakening for Today’s Families by Michelle Anthony Michelle is the Pastor of Children and Parents at New Life Church and the Family Ministries Ambassador at David C Cook. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership, and more than twenty-five years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs and loves a good book and a cup of coffee.

“We live in a time when many families are disintegrating. There will continue to be hurting people, more psychologically-scarred youth, more fragmented families in the future of every congregation. Fewer youth will know close family 25

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family time

tot t i m e r h y m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

ALONG

THE ROAD

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you SIT AT HOME and when you walk ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP. Deuteronomy 6:6–7

SIT AT HOME

ALONG THE ROAD

LIE DOWN

GET UP

This month, as you drive along the road, have fun teaching your little one the Family Verse—Hebrews 10:24—to the tune of Old MacDonald.

Hebrews ten verse twenty four, is our Family Verse. Let’s sing about it loud and clear, so we can rehearse To be a family, we must love Love each other, love each other, do good deeds Hebrews ten verse twenty four, is our Family Verse. by Tommy Larson Tommy has been serving as a pastor at ROCKHARBOR Church for the past 11 years. He was part of the development team of the Tru curriculum. He lives in Costa Mesa, CA, with his wife and two children.

Get the audio recording of this song at bit.ly/augusttottime Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition! 26

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blessing

A BLESSING CAN BE A PRAYER OF COMMISSION, A BIBLE PASSAGE, OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. BLESSINGS CAN BE SPOKEN OVER A CHILD FOR THE PURPOSE OF DECLARING GOD’S PROTECTION, JOY, AND WISDOM OVER HIM.

lives. Follow up a few days later and ask: When you start school this year, what are some ways you can love the people around you?

Within the first moments of our lives, we begin to experience community. From this point forward, our communities begin to build and grow. One of the most influential among them is the community we experience in school. Jesus’ command to love one another speaks to the heart of what it is to truly be in community with one another.

BLESS [Child’s name], as you begin the school year, may you always remember to show others the same love God has shown you, and be willing to invite others into your community.

READ As your children prepare to enter a new school year, speak this Scripture over them as a blessing: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).

by Cristi Thomas Cristi has been in children’s ministry for more than 15 years and was the Senior Managing Editor for Tru curriculum as well as the writer of TruWonder. She now lives in Washington D.C., pursuing new adventures. Cristi enjoys all the city has to offer: museum exhibits, writing in a cafe, or going for a run in the woods. She is grateful for what each day holds.

Talk about what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. Ask: Who is my neighbor? What does it look like to love myself? How do I love others as I love myself? Allow your children time to ponder this Scripture in relationship to their everyday

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ta k i n g ac t i o n

look back on this scene and a thousand others just like it and joke about how crazy the road has been, and how WE of all people ended up on it.

It's not a street you’d ever choose to walk down—not if you had an alternative: a chaotic concrete wasteland, flanked by tattered blue tarps tied to chain-link fences, hanging by an indifferent thread. Most of the people who populate these blocks would be considered a waste of tax dollars; a sad, marginalized minority who get looked-through instead of looked-to most days. And while most wrestle with whether or not these statements are facts or just sharp opinions, I found myself on the corner of 17th and Imperial, entertaining a very real plea from someone I had just met who was thrusting a dirty wad of cash into my hands, begging me to get him help and off the street.

See, I had recently asked God for a renewal of heart—for a mission so bold and out of my comfort zone that becoming “strong and courageous” wouldn’t be just words on a page, but literal ingredients in the depths of my soul that would carry us to victory. We so often hear the stories in Scripture of people who stepped into the unknown and waited for God and His provision to start revealing themselves. For me, this miracle, this provision, this revelation was called the “Even Here Movement.” A humble effort to build pop-up churches in places most people have determined are too far gone to see a display of hope or renewal by God Himself on behalf of the people they aim to serve. It presents itself as grander than it actually is at first glance. But, isn’t that the truth about every wild step into a God-sized mission at its genesis?

My heart raced, though I didn’t show it. I’d somehow been conditioned, dare I say trained, to handle moments exactly like this. And on this late and misty Sunday night, along with my recently befriended Russian volunteer (who had happened to drive his pearl-white turbo Bently to the place we all found ourselves that night), determined what the future would hold for our very disoriented guest.

The idea came to me on Easter three years ago. I was working for a church that drew nearly 25 thousand in attendance each year for the “Superbowl” of Christian holidays. Living in a city of 1.3 million people, I was challenged by the number of people who wouldn’t be willing to join us at any one of our 25

When I replay the story in my mind, I find it hard to believe, that a normal run-of-the-mill pastor would be stepping into this kind of action, expectant of a miracle and trying to ignore the very real fear for my safety charging through my bones. My friends and I 28

FAITH COMMUNITY | homefrontmag.com

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ta k i n g ac t i o n services across the city. These people were alienated for any spectrum of reasons, including fear of judgment, rejection, a lack of trust, or maybe as a result of a situation in the past that had ruined what church should be: a safe community of people who don’t have to be perfect, but should be willing to adopt those brave enough to find themselves at the front door.

and has spread to several other cities as we’ve shared the out-of-the-box approach to Sunday services and purposeful outreach ministry with churches across the country. Hundreds of people serve several unique and active MicroSites, courageously reaching out from their local churches, regardless of congregation size, denomination, location, or age.

While several thousand people were flocking to our massive church building in their Sunday best, I found myself and a few close friends headed in the opposite direction, determined to be found in the unknown, stepping cautiously toward the risk, toward the small but crisp call of the Spirit. I had numbingly familiarized myself with the phrase, “the least of these,” found in Scripture, but on that sunny Sunday morning, I found myself at the epicenter of what my city had defined as “the least of these.”

Ruben, the young man I met that fateful Sunday night, agreed to attend a local detox and rehab that my Russian friend personally paid for. We lost touch a few months back, but recently, while hosting a service down on 17th Street, I met him again. He came walking up the street, this time, much more full of life than in our first interaction. He handed me a three-month sobriety coin he had received from his ongoing AA community. “I’m clean!” he told me. I thought to myself, like I do with so many others who have experienced that same kind of liberation, “No, Ruben, you’re saved.”

We set up our first service inside one of the oldest active homeless shelters in the center of the city. Never in its 70-year history had anyone ever come and hosted an Easter service for those who called its tired walls home. With an unfamiliar courage, I set up the small projector and sound system. I logged onto the church’s live-stream channel on my phone and waited for the people to arrive. Before the second song came to a close and the service host welcomed everyone to church for the first time, we were scrambling to find seats for the 100 plus people who had decided to join us for Easter service.

MicroSites now serve a myriad of communities around the country—homeless and low-income communities, elderly, residents in assisted living situations, college students on their local campuses, surfers on beaches, and neighbors in their apartment complexes. Military communities host MicroSites both locally and abroad, as do detention centers and rehab facilities for at-risk youth where residents are confined to their facilities. The goal is simple: dish out hope and help in equal doses, serving people right where they are, eventually letting the Good News run its natural course through every community wherever it's presented.

It was insignificant in terms of number attending, or the quality of technical savvy we were presenting to the eager community of mission residents, but it was a deafening declaration of hope and the sweetest the gospel had ever tasted in my pastoral career. When the life-giving truth of the gospel poured over the crowd, I felt like I literally saw the room come back to life; beyond blood and organs, this Spirit was coursing though broken bodies and wounded hearts. We would repeat the process five times that day because of how incredibly the idea played out—once at the mission, seeing at least 30 people give their lives to Jesus for the first time, then twice later at a local bar, then twice again at a nearby college. We were all in shock. How did we suddenly carry with us the greatest treasure all mankind could have ever received? Or had I held it all the while, and merely grown too familiar with seeing it carried by so many week by week at my local 10am service?

If you’d like more information about MicroSites, check out a video at vimeo.com/165902097 or search the hashtag #evenheremovement. by Mingo Palacios Mingo's art is propelling people forward. He thrives when pastoring leaders and innovators, and coaching creative entrepreneurs through the depths of their one-of-a-kind efforts. He is invested in several socially-good projects and founded the Even Here Movement—a project that plants pop-up churches all over the country in places that need hope and help in equal measure. He also manages a long-standing arts network in downtown San Diego, in partnership with several local businesses including Moniker Group, Smart Interactions, and Builders & Makers. Currently, he and his family live in Southern California, where Mingo serves as the PD Pastor of Culture and Evangelism at Saddleback Church. Mingo also speaks throughout the year about the relentless love of Jesus and the hope of the Gospel.

Today, three years down an incredible road, on a journey only Jesus himself could have crafted, we call these humble people-seeking, community-building services MicroSites. The movement is strong in our city,

Website opensource.church Instagram @mingo2

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g lo b a l

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ... United Arab Emirates?

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) controls the southeastern portion of the Arabian peninsula south of the states of Bahrain and Qatar. The federation covers 31,976 square miles and is bordered on the north by the Persian Gulf and Iran, on the east by Oman, and on the south and west by Saudi Arabia. The UAE separates Oman from the Musandam peninsula and extends 145 miles along the Gulf of Oman, an area known as the al-Batinah coast.

Iran

Pakistan

Persian Gulf

Qatar

Gulf of Oman

United Arab Emirates

Saudi Arabia

Oman

QUICK STATS

POPULATION

9,376,223

LANGUAGE

ARABIC

30

RELIGION

ISLAM 76% OTHER RELIGIONS 15% CHRISTIANITY 9%

FAITH COMMUNITY | homefrontmag.com

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g lo b a l NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

To talk to your friends in the United Arab Emirates, you would speak Arabic.

If you lived in The United Arab Emirates, you would most likely worship in an Islamic mosque.

There are over 9 million people who call The United Arab Emirates their home.

To say, “Hello!” you would say As-salam alaykom (pronounced Ahl sah-LAHM ah-LAY-koom).

If you lived in The United Arab Emirates, you might eat shawarma. It is the most eaten food across this country. It can be made with lamb or chicken, mixed with garlic sauce, pickles, fries, and tomatoes, and wrapped in Arabic roti. Another favorite is hummus—it is not actually a dish, rather it is a famous dip made from chickpeas, olive oil, lemon juice, tahini paste, salt, and garlic. It is served with other dishes like shawarma and pita bread.

DID YOU

KNOW

?

• The United Arab Emirates is ranked third in the world for the Christian community's growth rate. (See chart below.) • The Dubai Mall is the world’s largest shopping mall. Its internal area covers 5.9 million square feet. • Dubai’s Burj Khalifa—rising to a height of 2,722 feet—is the world’s tallest building.

Rank Country Continent Majority Religion

Percent Christian Percent Christian 1970 2020

1

Nepal

Asia, South Central

Hindu

0.1%

3.8%

2

China

Asia, Eastern

Non-religious

0.1%

10.6%

3

United Erab Emirates Arabian Peninsula

Muslim

5.9%

12.9%

4

Saudi Arabia

Arabian Peninsula

Muslim

0.3%

4.6%

5

Qatar

Arabian Peninsula

Muslim

4.5%

9.5%

You can read more of this study here: https://discipleallnations.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/the-top-20-countries-where-christianity-is-growingthe-fastest/

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st u d e n t i d (6 t h

to

8th grade)

Thin Places a phone in hand. No one had his head down or eyes glued on “un-social media.” Every one of them, regardless of age, athletic accomplishment, GPA, or likes on Instagram, was engaged in unselfconscious, intermingled, joyful community with one another. It was like a flash mob of laughter, smiles, activity, and acceptance. There wasn’t a single kid trying to be something more or less than she really is.

The best gifts are the ones that surprise you, combining outrageous generosity with remarkable simplicity and practicality.

As the exhausted, depleted, and deeply grateful parents of four kids, the best gift for our family is a like-minded community of exhausted, depleted, and deeply grateful parents committed to loving each other, loving our kids, loving their friends, and loving God as though our lives depend on it. There are 31 of us in all—11 parents and 20 kids. From second graders to sophomores in high school, these kids are an incredible group of knuckleheads who periodically amaze us with their lives of faith, hope, and love.

The Celtic tradition has a term to describe those moments when heaven and earth come together in a glorious display of what life together is meant to be: “thin places.” Just a taste. Judicious revelation. If you’ve ever found yourself within a “thin place,” you know exactly what David meant when he said, ”Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere” (Psalm 84:10). Our memories of those moments in the past are meant to “spur us on toward love and good deeds” in the present (Hebrews 10:24). They help us to believe that real community is possible.

A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 4th annual “Badgerpalooza” camping trip. I can’t go into the background of the name for our trip in 500ish words, but trust me, it’s hilarious! Twenty-four hours into the trip, sun setting to finish the day, campfire rising to open the night—we had a stunning realization. Not one of the kids had 32

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to

8th grade)

I love that the writer of Hebrews uses the word, “toward.” It means there’s a fulfillment coming. As good as that moment was, it’s only a shadow of what’s to come.

4.

Your kids will model their friendships after your friendships. Community is the best place for them to watch you, experience the benefits, and emulate your example.

It also means we are moving from darkness to light. So let’s also be honest for a moment about the darkness.

5.

Invest time, money, and energy into building community. If it’s truly valuable to you, it will be worth the investment.

One of the oldest boys at “Badgerpalooza” this year came with strong resistance. He was coming off a very, very hard year, and it had made him hard. As the last night came to an end and the firewood ran out, everyone found their tents, sleeping bags, and a few hours of hard-won sleep. But this kid … a 16-yearold … found his mom, cuddled next to her, and whispered, “Thank you, Mom. I really, really needed this.” And he slept his best night of sleep in months … in the dirt, in a sleeping bag, surrounded by his friends, their families, and songs of deliverance.

Being exhausted and depleted as a parent means we often run around with verbal scissors. We do. We do it a lot. Some of us even own non-verbal scissors. Building community is both gift and giving—it’s rewarding and requires work. Here are five very real suggestions on building community: 1.

You will be hurt by others. Talk about it with them. Don’t hide. Create the opportunity for deep friendship by letting them know what hurt you.

2.

You will hurt others. Ask them to forgive you and listen to how you hurt them. Be sad that you accidentally made their community feel unsafe. Work hard and fast to fix it.

3.

by Brian Lucas Brian and Melanie Lucas have been married for 17 years and have four kids: Maddie (15), Owen (13), Taylor (11), and Wyatt (9). The family continues to establish a beachhead for the kingdom of God in Irvine, CA, through their home, work, school, sports, friendships, community involvement, meals cooked, tears shed, conflicts resolved, and lives changed. They are active members of Grace Fellowship Church in Costa Mesa, CA.

Take the high road and the long road. It will be harder than you think and take longer than you want but it’s better than you can imagine.

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Friendship Abundant Sarah Carter

A few weeks before school started, our family moved into a new home in a small close-knit neighborhood. In the chaos of the move, I was scrambling to make sure my son was starting his first day as a big first grader with everything he needed. I met with the principal and his teacher, and raced to Target about a hundred times to tick each item off the long list of supplies needed. Mostly, I prayed. A lot. I prayed for his steps, for the courage it would take to start somewhere new, in a school where most of the classmates had grown up together. What a daunting feeling that must have been for my son. I prayed for friendship. I didn’t want to be greedy, so in my small quiet prayers I begged God to give him just one true good best friend. Give him someone he can trust, someone who wants the best for him, who respects him, and can laugh and imagine and play with my boy. These were the words I whispered over and over on that first day of school, as he anxiously stood in the first grade line of small kids in shiny new backpacks and bright shoes, bouncing with excitement and nerves. It was pretty obvious he was the new kid on the block, as he stood anxiously shuffling his feet and wondering what to do next. Parents all around me were chatting and smiling with one another, talking about how relieved they were for summer to be over, how much they loved Mrs. So and So, and already planning after-school play dates. To be honest, it’s hard to be the new mom on the block, too. I found myself feeling quite alone that morning, standing by myself waving good-bye and trying really hard not to cry too much as my son’s little curly head bobbed in a sea of new faces. On our walk home from that first day, we found ourselves walking a few paces behind another family. “That’s Brody,” Emerson whispered. “He’s in my class. He’s really funny.” Brody was walking with his dad, little sister, and baby brother. Soon they’d slowed enough that we caught up. They quickly offered

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introductions, and within minutes, us adults were happily chatting while the kids laughed and discussed their adventures from school. And I heard my heart whisper: friendship, abundant. God loves us so extravagantly. He always does. Sometimes we notice. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes it's so obvious there’s no denying it, while other times it takes a deep dive to find what He has for us. On that warm fall afternoon, He gave my family the gift of new friends—people who have quickly become some of our dearest friends, memories made over backyard dinners, summer night whiffle ball tournaments, and holiday parties. The church can be a wonderful place to find friends. Community is a structural beam that holds the church together. Small groups and section gatherings and MOPS and service projects are just some of the many ways to find belonging within your faith community. But don’t underestimate the power of your neighborhood. I like to think that God wants us to be the church, not just go to it on the weekends. I like to think that our very own front doors and dinner tables and messy houses and grassy yards can serve as perfect places for community to thrive. It doesn’t take much. It really doesn’t. Start with hello and go from there. Make your life available, tell God what you want, and be willing to be surprised at how He responds.

Since my experience moving into our neighborhood, I’ve learned to look for people on the fringe. I try to notice who floats on the outside, the moms and dads who aren’t planning play dates or getting invites to birthday parties—these are people I can relate to. I was one of them, on that first day of first grade. And all it took to change my story was a simple introduction, a willingness for my new friends to invite me into their life. As we prepare for another school year ahead, let’s be parents who live invitational and intentional lives. Let’s look for ways to be the church, right in our own backyards and sidewalks and schools. Using creativity in partnership with nonprofits, Sarah works to raise awareness and support as an advocate for the liberation of child slaves in Ghana. She writes and teaches creativity workshops, and her artwork has been shown in galleries throughout the U.S. Sarah lives outside of Chicago with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Emerson and Mercy. Website sarahcarterstudio.com Facebook Sarah Carter Studio Instagram @heysarahcarter Twitter @heysarahcarter Pinterest SarahCarterArt 35

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Power of Community Jeff Bachman

Before we go too far, I think I should warn you that I am a professional Christian. I’ll let you take a moment to be completely impressed by that statement. While you’re still thinking about it, I’ll explain what I mean. I have held the occupation of “pastor” for the past 24 years. With that title comes a fair amount of assumptions by myself and others. This means that when someone on a plane asks me what I do, I am told how “fulfilling that must be.” When anyone has questions about the Bible, faith, or where to go to church, I am their guy. Finally, I am expected to be the one to say grace at all family meals, and for sure holiday dinners. So then, if I am your “go-to-guy” for all things faith, why can’t I name anyone in my life who doesn’t hold to the same lifestyle as I do? I have great friends and people I see often, but they all believe the exact same thing as me. To my shame, a year ago I realized that I was not living out what I was selling. If I am going to be honest, it’s really hard. I truly can go through my daily routine without ever engaging anyone new, and for sure not taking any relational risks. And plus that, I don’t want to make things uncomfortable with people I see on a daily basis. It's easier to just smile, nod, and be on my way. As a parent, I feel I am already living at an emotional and relational redline most of the time. I just couldn’t fathom keeping my kids alive, trying to raise them to where I am doing more good than harm, and also then take on the weight of living out my faith to other people. It’s too much. While I was in the middle of this crisis of my faith, I came across a passage that has done much for me. Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us of the power of our community and the responsibility to care for that gathering of people. Some of these people are going to share your faith and worldviews, others are further along, and some aren’t there yet. To me, the passage is essentially saying, “don’t give up on them, it’s worth it.” For me, I was reminded that there is a community that I am already in because of the roles I play as a husband and a dad. I didn’t need to start a Bible study or find a street corner for evangelism. God doesn’t need us to always start something new. He was and is at work before I ever decided to lend a hand. So we asked God to show us where He was moving in our community and started saying, "yes," to things that were available to us. Our school needed someone to organize the “Walk to School Day.” I can do that; I know how to walk. It literally took no prep, and I met 20–30 families who trusted me to safely walk their kids to school. (I too was surprised by their 36

FAITH COMMUNITY | homefrontmag.com

faith in me, but I’ll take it.) There was also a committee assembling to organize our yearly jog-a-thon. Jogging is a little tougher than walking, but I gave what I could, and I met some parents I never would have if I had just donated my money to my own kids' jog-a-thon account as usual. I don’t want to make this a brag-fest about what I did, because I’ll tell you what, my mouth still gets all sorts of dry when other dads ask me what I do and I know they don’t share my worldview. I have started to make relational inroads with people that I never would have met if I hadn’t put myself out there. I have also met an amazing group of men and parents who are at different points in their faith, some of whom spur me on toward “love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24).

As you step back into another school year that will typically ask one thing of you: MORE, which is daunting, try to see who you are made to be, and how your gifting and availability can place you in the middle of an already-existing community that needs the best version of the you God is shaping today. Jeff Bachman has been in youth ministry for 24 years and is currently working at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA, as the Student Ministries Pastor. Jeff has had the privilege of communicating with thousands of students and young adults through preaching and teaching at his own church, speaking regularly at Hume Lake, other camps, and equipping events internationally. He has been a contributing writer for Download Youth Ministry, Interlic, Journal of Student Ministries, David C Cook Publishing, and HomeFront. He and his wife of 15 years, Shara, have three children: Jackson (10), Isabella (8), and Charlotte (6).

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to u g h to p i c s

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I prayed for him!” He and I had both learned to always, always ask.

Inviting your babes into sacred spaces is risky. Sacred ground often burns with holy fire. And as a general rule, babes and fire don’t mix.

Hearts young and old dared to show up—both in the waiting room and their living rooms. Prayers and tears were not hidden from little hearts. Parents dared to let their children into the messy. And that’s why they got to be there for the miracle.

On February 19, a small waiting room outside an ICU was transformed into such a burning ground. We first gathered in shock, then sorrow, as my 39-yearold husband battled for life after a heart attack had erupted his left artery: the "widow-maker."

But they didn’t know that was how it would end. We never know how it’s going to end.

I asked for a ride to the hospital, and our tribe took it from there. They stormed the gates of heaven in prayer and stormed the hospital in vigil. Hundreds of friends stepped into that sacred space, among them, some little visitors.

And parents, hear me here: don’t go smashing a goldfish so your children can understand death. Don’t ignore your discretion and God-given insight to the particular soul you’ve been trusted to shepherd. May a heart never be hurt for the sake of hurt alone. But this world will teach them how to lose things, even people. How much better for them to navigate pain at your side? Not with answers, but in spite of not having any. Inviting your children into sacred spaces is risky, yet it’s often through risk that our truest identities are formed.

I would have told you that an ICU waiting room is no place for a child. I would have been wrong. Because the moment someone placed their babe in my arms, arms that were both hollow and heavy at the same time—the moment that I breathed in her sweet baby scent—I was reminded there was life. New, beautiful life. Even in the shadow of death. And when pink boots and a purple tutu floated in front of my tear-stained eyes, when she pointed to her Band-Aid and said “fix Uncle’s heart," when her three-year-old giggles filled a room full of ache, I was reminded that there is laughter, there is joy, even in the midst of pain.

During those twelve days in the hospital, I saw the power of God’s entire family, both young and old, caring for one another. I saw that littles have just as much to teach us as we do them—or maybe even more. Babes haven’t learned trite answers yet. Their hearts haven’t yet traded hope for understanding. Little hearts have surprising capacity for big truths. If we let them bring the perfect, priceless, pure love that only a child can really offer, and that any grieving heart could never refuse, together we will dare to let their identities—and ours—form in both truth and grace. And together, in our communities of faith, we will hurt, but we will also heal.

When I looked into the eyes of a favorite fouryear-old soul, a bouncy, vibrant, eager young minion, I saw him tasting fear for the first time. He was just old enough to understand that our tears were different than any he’d seen before. He hesitated, which reminded me not to. I knelt down, looked into his big scared eyes and let him see back into mine, then felt his arms go wide and wrap tightly around my neck in a hug that reminded me that love is fierce and vulnerable all at the same time.

by Brooke Mardell Brooke makes her home in Southern California, where she and her husband, Jason, are living a miracle. Together they run Home4Good, a real estate team dedicated to ending the orphan crisis. Brooke is the author of Friday's Rain, a Bible study that tackles grief and promises life from loss, and A Girl and Her Heart, a children's book on identity, the first of the Big Truths for Little Hearts series. Brooke loves all things in or on the ocean, likes coffee dates but not coffee, and while she hasn't been everywhere, it's on her list. She writes and explores on her blog.

Later, when we were home, when science had been defied and we knew we were living a miracle, I hugged an eight-year-old who hadn’t prayed in years. He’s a pastor’s kid, so I can’t blame him that much. His parents prayed life from their living room. And quietly, in a whisper as he went to bed one night, he said, “Dad, I prayed for Jason, too.” Days later, when Jason woke up after medicine had already said hope was gone, he shouted, exuberantly now, “DAD,

brookemardell.com

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m a r r i ag e

Casey and Meygan getting silly with a couple they are mentoring, Matt and Molly 40

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m a r r i ag e

There we stood in our third year of marriage—more like enemies than lovers. It seemed the odds were stacked against us. We came from broken families, had buried ourselves in over two hundred thousand dollars of debt, are the MOST stubborn people you’ve ever met, and live in a county with a 71% divorce rate. We were lonely and desperate for help, but too embarrassed to ask. One Sunday morning, an older couple at our church caught our attention; they were laughing, holding hands, and seemed madly in love. Curiosity turned to near stalking as we carefully observed how they interacted with each other. We gathered up the courage and invited them to lunch and asked them what felt like a million questions on marriage. We learned that they, too, had felt alone and empty inside long WE LEARNED ago and that it was normal, THAT THEY, which instantly caused us to TOO, HAD FELT let down our guard, lean in ALONE AND and learn from them. EMPTY INSIDE There is something LONG AGO AND powerful about Paul’s THAT IT WAS encouragement to bear each NORMAL, WHICH other’s burdens; that we INSTANTLY shouldn’t do life alone. We CAUSED US TO were created for connection, LET DOWN OUR and marriage will be the most GUARD, LEAN significant relationship we will IN AND LEARN have on this earth. Our bond FROM THEM. with this couple continues to this day as we remember the skills they taught us for a thriving marriage. In the community of faith, we have the power to create intentional relationships that bring hope and encouragement to our marriages. We believe that every marriage should be surrounded by other couples who support and encourage each other to continue fighting for their marriage. Through our own process of finding marriage mentors, we discovered that there are three characteristics of a mentor relationship that are essential for its success. 41

THEY HAVE A MARRIAGE YOU RESPECT. Mentor couples go on date nights, enjoy each other, apologize when they’ve messed up, forgive each other daily, and have the kind of marriage you want. THEY’RE WILLING TO BE VULNERABLE. Our mentor couple holds nothing back in sharing with us their struggles and heartaches in every area of their marriage. In their transparency, we see ourselves in their story and find hope knowing they made it through. THEY ARE READY TO PRAY WITH YOU. Knowing that our marriage is being prayed over by another couple is so comforting. This couple knows our struggles and is joining us in praying for protection, wisdom, and courage. We live in strange times where love is confusing, relationships seem complicated, and marriage itself is questioned as even being relevant today. If there has ever been a time for married couples to surround themselves with other married couples to encourage them in their journey, it is now. Marriage is not an innate talent. None of us is born with the natural ability to do relationships well. Marriage is a learned skill that must be taught by those who have weathered the storms of life. From how to flavor your words with sweet grace to how to properly apologize when you don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong, finding a mentor couple could be the exact resource your marriage needs to get past the areas you are stuck on. by Casey and Meygan Caston Casey and Meygan launched Marriage365 as a way to help educate couples on how to do marriage well by giving them practical tools through a variety of online resources. You can find them at www.marriage365.org. They have been married for 13 years and live in Southern California with their two children. They LOVE going to the beach. Instagram @Marriage365

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s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g

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s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g

In a day and age when iPads are beginning to replace schoolbooks, your children may be surprised to learn their grandparents did not have the Internet when they were growing up. There was no Google to answer questions and they had to use paper maps to help them find their way when they were lost. Phones were rotary landlines in the home and there was no texting or social media. However, this lack of technology was not necessarily a bad thing. We can learn a lot from our grandparents and their experiences. 1. LIFE SKILLS Grandparents are a great resource for life skills that are no longer commonly taught in school. Things like sewing, baking, woodworking, and even car mechanics were necessary skills for their generation, and were even taught in the public school systems. Ask your grandparents what kinds of things they learned when they were young. They can teach you something new! 2. GAMES What do you think your grandparents did for fun before video games and smart phones? Ask them to share how they and their siblings entertained themselves when they were kids. Be sure to ask about inside and outside fun. 3. FAMILY HISTORY Ask about your family tree—where are your relatives from? Who are their siblings? What did their education look like? What types of jobs did they have? 4. WISDOM Job 12:12 says, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” Your grandparents have lived long lives and have experienced a lot. They can be a great resource for you when you're making difficult choices and life decisions. Don’t be afraid to ask them hard questions and involve them in your life—don’t discount them because they are older … it usually means they’re wiser! 5. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE If you have a grandparent, you know there is always someone who thinks you’re wonderful, no matter how often or how badly you mess up. Grandparents know how to love in ways that are bigger and deeper—because they have learned what is important in life, and loving their baby’s baby is at the top of that list. by Debbie Guinn

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ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

1

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

3

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christ-followers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

4

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

5

“God has a big story, and I can be a part of it!”

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2

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate to this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them, not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

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6

“I belong to God,

“God knows me, and I can know Him.”

and He loves me!”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute truth, and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, knowing His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, and yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

9

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

10

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

8

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter-identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a hands-on example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

BY MICHELLE ANTHONY © 2010 DAVID C COOK

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

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Be Empowered in Your Role as a Parent Spiritual Parenting

creates spiritual environments that God can use to work in the lives of your children. It’s a biblical, innovative, and fresh approach to parenting. Be inspired as the primary nurturer of your child’s faith as you learn to practically create space for God-encounters in everyday life.

Awaken the Families in Your Church!

Spiritual Parenting is a six-part program that empowers parents to be the primary nurturers of their children’s faith. Families will be transformed as they learn how to create space for God-encounters in everyday life. Perfect for parenting classes, mom groups, mid-week, retreats, and more!

Dr. Michelle Anthony is the Pastor to Children and Families at New Life Church in Colorado Springs and also serves as Family Ministry Ambassador for David C Cook. She is the architect of the Tru Curriculum and author of numerous books including Spiritual Parenting, and 7 Family Ministry Essentials. Michelle has over 25 years of church ministry and leadership experience in children’s and family ministries.

Available in print and digital editions everywhere books are sold