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UNDERSTANDING INDIAN FAMILY LIFE: THE GENDER PERSPECTIVES APARAJITA CHOWDHURY*; MANOJ MANJARI PATNAIK** *PROFESSOR, POST GRADUATE DEPARTMENT OF HOME SCIENCE, BERHAMPUR UNIVERSITY, ODISHA, INDIA **ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR, POST GRADUATE DEPARTMENT OF LAW, BERHAMPUR UNIVERSITY, ODISHA, INDIA
ABSTRACT Gender seems to be one of the most powerful variables that influence human development from conception till death especially in Indian society. The life events of an individual born into an Indian family is found to be totally gendered, which results in making the family life „heaven‟ or „hale‟. Hence understanding family life from gender perspective is the main aim of this paper, which tries to throw light on the theoretical structure of gender, gender system and gender socialization prevailing in family life. Further, the paper discusses the challenges faced in terms of changing family values and ethos; identity confusion especially on the part of the girls and women; family and work interface, its impact on gender roles and violence within family. The paper concludes by pointing to the fact that the concept of „androgyny‟ is particularly relevant in the Indian socio-cultural context for a healthy, peaceful and balanced family life. KEYWORDS: Family life, family and work interface, gender socialization, gender and family violence, identity confusion, androgyny. ______________________________________________________________________________ Introduction: The family as a basic social institution has always been regarded as a core component for the development of the individual as well as for the society and mankind. Changes of family values, principles and rules therefore, are given much attention all over the world. However any understandings of these changes require knowledge about the status quo, the conditions and the context of change. Singh (2004) had rightly pointed out that, “The twenty-first century recorded great changes of far reaching importance in the family system under the influence of westernization, industrialization, modernization and greater population mobility across the subcontinent. Since then the Indian family has progressively confronted and combated various kinds of problems and challenges, and yet India does not have any family policy per se so far; albeit the Government of India has indeed taken several useful legislative measures relating to widow remarriage, women‟s right to property, practice of child marriage, succession, adoption and maintenance, dowry, dissolution of marriage affecting different communities and most recently domestic violence, which have impacted the Indian family system in more ways than one”. Of all the factors that affected Indian family life, gender plays a very crucial role in making the family
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life „heaven‟ or „hale‟. Thus, understanding the construct of gender in Indian socio-cultural perspective would provide the platform for emulation and further intervention for healthy and happy family life. Theoretical structure of gender: Gender is considered as an important construct existing between men and women in almost all societies of the globe. Apart from class, age, race, religion and ethnicity, gender is an integral dimension of social stratification, putting the female at the level of disadvantage; varying in degree and quantum across time and space within and across the societies. Gender seems to be one of the most powerful variables that impacts development from the moment of conception till death. The life events of an individual born into an Indian family are found to be totally gendered. Gilbert (1993) described threefold theoretical structure of gender, such as; gender as difference; gender as structure; and gender as process. Gender as difference broadens our understanding of behaviour in social context, but obscures inequality by masking the differences in power between men and women. Gender as structure refers to the way in which attitudes towards men and women become institutionalized within societal structures. For example - a male employee who has a child is perceived as male; a female employee with a child is a mother. Gender as structure is evident in the work place when the assumption is made that women will provide care for dependents and is demonstrated by the dominance of one gender or the other in certain occupations. Gender as process refers to the patterns of interactions among men and women based on assumptions about gender roles. Women are seen as nurturer the provider of emotional caretaking, whereas men provide economic support. Gender system prevailing within Indian family life: One of the most pervasive and widespread codes of organisation that affects all aspects of social functioning is the gender system. It is patriarchy that provides the family life force to the unfavourable conditions that girls and women of all ages face in India. It is the gender system that plays a vital role in creating barriers and hindrances for women's development in Indian society. Major features of gender system prevailing within Indian family according to Choudhury (2006) are: a) Male-female / boy-girl differentiation: The practice of male-female dichotomy forms the core of a gender-based system. Biological sex differences, which are real, are extended to be the criteria for social placement. Chaterjee (1987) was of opinion that, “discrimination begins with the fact that a girl is unwanted and therefore eliminated even before she can emerge into the world". Very early in life children begin to experience gender based differentiation and discrimination in their relationship with others, in distribution of family resources and in entitlement to family membership: nutrition, health care and education etc. Female foeticide, infanticide, and the son preference in our families speak eloquently of the discrimination. Moreover, within family, girls / women were neither expected nor encouraged to develop a sense of autonomy or control. However, things are changing slowly with the change in sensitized attitudes of male folk in the family. b) Role Allocation: Within Indian patriarchal family system, dominating and controlling social functions are prescribed for the males, whereas supportive functions are prescribed for the 59
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females. Thus, by birth, males are caretakers of resources, performing the functions of earners, on the other hand, females are family caretakers performing the functions of child nurturing, caring of the aged and running the household. According to Bharat (1997) "In Indian families‟ sex roles are well differentiated and influence the socialization process from birth onwards. Both boys and girls according to Choudhury (2006) grow up with the knowledge of special preference attached to the male child and often experience blatant expressions of this preference through parental reactions, behaviour; family rituals, practices; social customs and traditions”. Rao (1969) define women's roles - all interpersonal and her identity is wholly outlined by her relationships to others, such as: • An obedient daughter; • A faithful wife; • A nurturing mother; • A the all powerful mother-in-law; • A the benevolent grandmother. Woman is always „tossed on to someone else, her worth and status as an individual gets devalued‟. Accordingly from childhood to adulthood, there is a deliberate attempt for the female to be named or addresses in some male person‟s name or identity. According to Government of India Report (1974) - women in India have roles but no personality or identity of their own. (c) Gender-based hierarchal placement: Along with role allocations, certain norms and values, along with practices and beliefs, further promote the husband-wife superior/inferior hierarchy within family. Bhogle (1999) was of view that the higher incidence of widowhood in women as compared to men is due mainly to the cultural practice of men marrying women who are considerably younger to them. This demonstrates how gender and age can be the sources of disadvantages. According to Sharma and Khosla (1997), "to be a female is often less than to be human”. Woman's role in society, her limited rights, considerable duties and the shabby treatment meted out to her in all walks of life originate from the fact that she is basically considered a liability and a burden on the family right from birth itself. Further Sharma (1981) was of opinion that attitudes towards sex differences/inequality are the first to be formed in sequence of development, followed by caste, religion and class prejudices. Gender socialization within the Indian Family: There were many images of the traditional Indian family, but all of them emphasize its corporate and corporal character. It was sometimes viewed as a living cohesive body, growing, developing, expanding and at times contracting or even withering way when struck by major calamities (Hanchalte, 1988). Another image is that of a Banyan tree, which expands by sending down new roots (individual families) into the ground from its branches. A joint household is not simply a number of unitary families living together. It is, instead, a structure of various hierarchical relationships (Seymour, 1999). One essential dimension of hierarchical relationships is its structure. Within the joint family structure, structural hierarchy is primarily governed by the position and relationship of the individual in the kinship structure and gender (Seymour, 1999). A central underpinning of these complex hierarchical relationships is a traditional cultural value system which conveyed to the young mainly by the older women of the family - mothers, grand mothers, aunts, servants and others (Goswami, 2000). This value system calls for an ideal of solidarity, cooperation, affection and understanding, leading to mediation and conciliation for the evolution of the inevitable 60
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problems and conflicts that can arise. Older women within family recite the vitally alive mythology from the two major epics of Indian culture, the "Ramayana" and "Mahabharat" and a variety of "Purnas", as well as a plethora of proverbs and folktales appropriate for a great variety of relationships and situations, to inculcate the values within the younger members of family. Gender relationship is learnt within family from early days through the recognition of the special value accorded to male children in the traditional Indian family. Elders bless young girls and women by wishing them a large number of sons. The notion of the greater value of sons is further strengthened by the existence of special worships, fasts and ritualistic observances that are performed by women alone to have sons and to ensure a long life for sons already born. Thus, the process of socialization through rituals and ceremonies, and the use of language (proverbs, blessings, songs) is geared towards emphasizing and dramatizing the women‟s inherently temporary membership in her natal home and her non-functionality from the point of view of continuity of the family (Ganesh, 1999). In Indian families gender roles are well differentiated and influence the socialization process from birth onwards. From early in life, children begin to experience gender based differentiation in their relationship with others, in distribution of family resources and in entitlement to family membership like, nutrition, health care and education etc. Both boys and girls grow up with the knowledge of the special value attached to the male child. Very often the experience of blatant expressions of son preference through parental reactions, behaviour, family rituals, practices, and celebrations, all give rise to the definition of gender-based relationship between boys and girl; male and female within Indian family system. It is also interesting to note that for a growing girl, the realization that her stay at her natal home is temporary shape her personality and her relationship with others. This is conveyed to her through various family practices, songs and rituals (Dube, 1988). Marriage is regarded as the ultimate goal of a girls' life when she will break her relationship with her natal family and enter a new home that might be unfriendly and harsh. With this attitude a girl grows in her natal home and prepares herself for her marital home: to be uprooted and replanted again. In preparation for the ultimate goal of marriage the girl is treated delicately and affectionately but severe controls are exercised over her conduct and behaviour. The adolescent boy begins to realize himself worth and develops his personality while the adolescent girl becomes conscious of her vulnerability and tries to become a non-person (Krishna Kumar, 1986). The socialisation of adult roles is influenced by the overpowering notion of male supremacy. There is a clear distinction between feminine and masculine roles which comes early in childhood and becomes sharper as the child grows up (Dube, 1988). Parthsarthy's (1988) study of parental expectations of children's work revealed deep rooted gender biases in division of work. A large percentage of the parents expected all types of domestic work to be performed by girls while boys are expected to do more of outside work and masculine tasks like changing scooter tyre etc. Ramu's (1987) and Bharat's (1992) studies support these gender bias observations in case of roles and relationships within Indian families. Dube (1988) observes that there is a "naturalness which imbibes the gender based division of work and labelling of tasks as feminine and masculine”. There are also important notions of service or sewa, tolerance and self restraint, adjustment, sacrifice and docility as part of girl‟s grooming up for marital role (Dube, 1988). Thus, girls are found to suffer from the feelings of low self-worth, inferiority complex, self-depreciation and having low self-esteem (Cormack, 1961; Kakar, 1978). Moreover, the emphasis on sex-appropriate roles in socialisation process determines the quality and level of education the girl is entitled to. 61
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Thus, under this backdrop the relationship with the male members of the family - father, brother, uncle in natal home; father-in-law, brother-in-law and husband in marital home takes a determine shape of fully gendered relationship. The relationship was clear-cut, definite with certain stable expectations from the girls in her natal homes. However, with changes in family from natal to marital the role and relationship also changed, with more uncertainty, confusion and unstable. Due to lack of clear cut role relationships, expectations from different roles within family, in the present day context, especially in case of female/girl which are found to be very blurred and indefinite. Challenges faced by the Indian Family: (a) Changing family values and ethos: Family is a link between continuity and change. It is a major source of nurturance, emotional bonding and socialisation. However, urbanisation, industrialisation, globalisation, better educational opportunities and consequent exposure to western ideals and norms, women‟s movement for equal rights and status have played major roles in changing the face of Indian families. There are major signs of change and modifications in terms of family values and role relationships. These changes are more visible in the urban areas where constrains in sharing limited resources and increasing cost of living are encouraging more individualistic orientations among people. Further, participation of women in the workforce outside the home has created a drastic change in the whole family scenario. The family invasion by television, internet, mobile phone, video culture and growing consumerism has further helped the process of value transformation. Sinha (1988) maintains that socio-economic changes in society have induced certain changes in family experiences that some as antecedents to various behavioural and psychological consequences in the individual. Further, he views the contemporary Indian family as being in a "transitional" phase where structural changes are not entirely accompanied by psychological changes. People wish to live in small, nuclear family units while continuing to draw strength from the extended family, particularly during times of stress, strain and crisis. It is especially evident in case of dual earner family, where both husband and wife work outside as full time worker. This has resulted in ambiguity in setting their roles responsibilities and expectations for growing children and adolescents. The worst affected are the girl and woman of the family, who are expected to have both traditional as well as modern roles to play. Hence, the role of male and female are in question? The family is in a fluid, transitional state and is presenting ambiguities in roles, relationships and models for emulation. Although much has changed with women's employment patterns, much as not changed in how modern families view in the areas of marriage, work, household activities and parenthood, where gender plays a vital role. (b) Identity Confusion: With the changing family structure, function and role relationship is giving rise to the identity crises among the member's of the family. Earlier studies indicated that there are large numbers of traits that are differentially ascribed to men and women in general. Men are considered frank and straightforward in social relations, intellectually rational, logical, competent and bold. On the other hand, the stereotype for women embraces the social amenities, emotional warmth and a "concern for affairs beside the material" (Bhogle, 1995). Numerous studies have been conducted to determine the personality traits and attributes of the two sexes. Since gender stereotypes are culturally loaded, studies have tried to determine the picture of „typical‟ India male and female. Over the years, due to the influence of many of these factors, the
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role of the Indian woman is in a state of flux and therefore there is greater ambiguity about the Indian feminine stereotype (Khanna and Varghese, 1978; Srivastava, 1978). Other trends that have emerged have been an increased effort to understand processes by which people can become free of gender-based definitions of "sex-appropriate" behaviour. Now the concern are more with "androgyny", sex role transcendence, or departures from traditional sex typing, with the acquisition of socially prescribed sex typed behaviours and attitudes. As a result of the growing literacy, mass movements for education, information, exposition, women's liberation, feminist movement and globalisation, gender roles are expanding both for females and males. No longer masculinity and femininity are viewed as two ends of a single continuum, rather considered as multifaceted, which can coexists within the same individual (Bhogle, 1995) (c) Family and work interface and its impact on gender roles: In today‟s society, majority of men and women face the prospect of juggling both family and occupational role. Men face new responsibilities and ambiguous expectations in their family roles as society develops the ideal of more egalitarian roles. Women face new expectations to have a career while still performing the majority of child care and house work in their family roles. Thus, the work and family realms are closely inter-related for both men and women without having any demarcation between both. According to Pleck (1977), the boundaries that exist between work and family are permeable demands as well as rewards. One domain can spill over into the other domain. Each domain can be independent entity, but the work and family spheres also greatly impact each other through role demands that can create conflict with each other. Pleck further believed that, gender influences the amount of spill over from work to family and vice-versa. Women's and men's family roles involve different demands, which can lead to gender differences in the type of boundaries between work and family. Therefore, as Pleck argued, the boundaries between work and family are asymmetrically permeable for men and women. Because of the differences in role expectations and constraints, women tend to have greater spill over from the family domain into the work domain, while men more often have the work domain spill into the family domain. Gender issues related to work and family roles would influence levels of conflict between the roles, and therefore levels of stress as well. This model of boundaries between the two domains illustrates how much work and family overlap in people's lives. According to Marotz-Baden, Keating and Munro (1995) the boundary between the work and family is extremely permeable. Family and work boundaries are blurred and issues from both realms become intertwined. Stress on the work domain spills into the family boundary and influence the marital dyad's power processes. Income and educational disparities among men and women influence the roles of husbands and wives with in a family. The role structure in turn influences the processes within the dyad, in particular the power processes. This structure and its impact on family processes also has implications for identity development, socialization of children and other areas of decision making. Moreover, the work domain spills over to the family domain and influences the quality of family life intending cohesion, family decision making and family satisfaction (Das, 2007). With the family and work domains working together, a better balance of the work and family could be achieved. (d) Gender based violence within the Family: The family bonds between members in the family have always been glorified in Indian family life and culture. However, violence against women and in some cases even against young girls and aged women in the family is one such issue which challenges the cultural notions of family as „safe haven‟ in India (Chowdhury, 2007). Notwithstanding, the gradual shrinking of the larger family constellation accompanied by various transformations within the family structure, the lives of large number of women rest on a 63
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„continuum of unsafe‟ (Stanko, 1990). Women in India have been subjected to humiliation, torture; exploitation and neglect for as long as we have had written records of social organisation and family life (Pattnaik, 2007). Violent behaviour toward women if often viewed as normative and sometimes even mandatory in family relationships (Fernadez, 1997). Chawla (2004) was of opinion that, wife abuse is a much more pervasive and complex phenomenon and can not be attributed primarily to the dowry system. This shift in public attitude has made it possible for marital violence to emerge as a socio-legal problem of compelling intensity, demanding recognition from professionals and society at large (Pattnaik, 2007). However, it is also observed that males in the family are also facing violence from their female counterparts, but the difference is that, it is very negligible in comparison to women victimisation. Men cannot be vocal, due to shame and it would hurt their male ego. Moreover, men do not have any secure backing to voice their concerns like women's group or movements. But there certainly exists violence for both the gender within the family. In terms of reported cases though, violence against woman is more within family and is beyond comparison. Gender violence is an everyday occurrence in Indian family life irrespective of class, culture, status, society and religious affiliation. Wife beating and physical maltreatment of children are the two most common forms of family violence and this is not a recent phenomenon. Manu, the first law giver and codifier of Hindu Law, stressed the dependent status of women. Manu in chapter – IX verse 3 „Manu Smriti’, said: “women, while young she remains under the control of her father, after marriage under the control of her husband, on his death and in old age under the control of her son/s; she does not deserve complete independence at any time”. It is important to underscore the distinct nature of violence transpiring in the home between intimate partners (husband and wife), sibling violence (brother and / or sister or vice-versa), inlaw violence (Mother in-law and daughter-in-law etc.) in the family unit. This is precisely related to the specific circumstances provided by the private, concurrently mystified and protected family environment and hidden behind internalized images of idealized family unity. Despite commonality of determinants of different types of aggressive behaviour family violence involves first, individuals who have a continuing interpersonal relationship that can lead to repetitive violence, and second, the interpersonal relationship includes an emotional relationship and attachment such that the violence occurs within an intimate relationship context with a history of prior relationship behaviour, expectations and goals of relationship (Vidhya, 2003). Despite the visibility of crime against women inside the family domain, criminal justice system of our country is shrouded in the silence of tacit public sanction. It is this discriminatory treatment of „private‟ violence, apparent in the interpretations of the criminal justice' system as well, that has resulted in the perpetrators continuing to evade accountability and the legislation initiatives to have limited deterrent effect (Agnes, 1995; Vidhya, 2000). A range of theoretical and empirical perspectives on the aetiology of violence within family can be discussed for proper understanding of the gender issues involved in it. Domestic violence and its extreme manifestation, dowry deaths have been perceived on the most visible symbols of patriarchal power, leading to a scrutiny of women's lives (Kumar, 1993). In India, recent research focuses not only on women as victims of conflict, but also as its agents. Despite their widespread prevalence, however, family violence in India is not customarily acknowledged and has remained invisible. It is such problem thought unworthy for any immediate attention, especially in the context of legal or political attention (Vindhya, 2003). The social construction of the divide between public and private underlines the hidden nature of family violence against children in India. Rather, it is considered as disciplining and essential for 64
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maintaining the rule of authority within the family, especially for children and adolescents. Family violence is an everyday occurrence in Indian family life irrespective of class, community, status, society and religious affiliation. It is a private affair with a few or no bystanders and no real time or opportunity to help the victim (may be women or children or adolescent or aged). The accused is often the only witness to the violence. The family in India, once considered a fortress of safety and security for women, children, adolescents and aged; and a place of peace and solace, has turned out to be breeding ground of violence (Ahmed-Ghosh, 2004). It is an irony, as Martin (1978) observes, “… family, the most intimate association to which the majority of people belong, is an unrivalled source of strength and comfort. But its very closeness can also intensify the worst of human relations. Love may be corrupted to envious possession and discipline to cruelty. And above all the private focus of hopes and fears may foster dual standards of private and public behaviour”. The pervasiveness of family violence problems in India has not been fully documented. It is one of the least reported of all crimes relative to actual frequency of occurrence (Chawla, 2004). Except for police records that are loosely maintained and a few privately conducted investigations, no nationally represented study provides data concerning the incidence of family violence in India (Ahmed-Ghosh, 2004; Chawla, 2004). Despite the absence of any uniform national investigation into the problem, there is enough evidence to show that family violence does occur in India, and that marital violence in particular is widespread though largely hidden (Chawla, 2004; Fernandez, 1997). Conclusion: Whatever the situation or condition due to gender differentiation within Indian family, one thing is clear that issues regarding gender needs to be given utmost importance. Industrialisation, liberalization and urbanisation have brought about some obvious changes in stereotyped concepts of masculinity and femininity, affecting household composition, residence patterns, sleeping arrangements, specific kinship relationships, male and female attitudes and behaviour. The present trend in gender research is to question the negative ramifications of rigid sex typing in restricting personal fulfilment for both males and females by limiting the options open to them (Huter, 1983). The concept of „androgyny‟ is particularly relevant in the Indian cultural context where the proper amalgamation of the so-called "masculine" and "feminine" personality traits into the concept of „Ardha Nariswar’ (half-male-half-female) is the stated ideal (Chowdhury, 2007). It is further interesting to note that present day Indian political, social and economic scenario is changing drastically to accommodate the „women on top‟, which is well reflected in the Budget since 2005 - 2006 onwards. It tries to re-engineer Indian society by addressing the women' issue vocally. The Union Budget for 2005-06, presented by the Union Finance Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and afterwards was seen as an instrument of social, re-engineering, to redress the imbalance in wealth, status, power and influence between men and women. For years, politicians and parties talked about gender-sensitive fiscal policies, but Mr. Chidambaram had tried to translate speech into action by doing several measures that enhances the status and prestige of women in India. Further, the UPA Government of India at last dare to table the 33% Women‟s Reservation Bill in the Upper House in 2008 session, for further ratification in the next Parliament session, which is yet to be achieved. Thus the mindset is changing, even though the
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progress is slow, it needs to be taken up at family level to make it faster and provide the real status of women in the family and society in general for a better future. References: Ahemed-Ghosh, H. (2004). Chattels of Society: Domestic Violence in India. Violence against Women. 10 (1), 94-118. Agnes, F. (1999). “Violence against Women”, The Lawyer, Vol. 2, No. 3, pp. 4-8. Bassa, D.M. (1978). From the traditional to the modern: Some observations on changes in Indian child-rearing and parental attitudes, with special reference to identity formation. In E.J. Anthony and Chiland (Eds.) The Child in His Family, Vol. 5, New York: John Wiley, 333-343. Bharat, S. (1992). The Two Pay Cheque Couples: An Analysis of their Housework, Decisionmaking, Sex role perceptions and Attitudes. Bombay: TISS (Mimeo). Bhogle, S. (1999). “Gender Roles: The Construct in the Indian Context”. In: T.S. Saraswathi (Ed.), Culture, Socialization and Human Development. New Delhi: Sage. Chaterjee, M. (1987). A Situation Analysis of Women from birth to twenty. In the Report of the National Workshop on the Girl Child, New Delhi: NIPPCD. Chawla, S. (2004). International perspectives on family violence and abuse: A cognitive ecological approach. In K. Malley-Morrison (Ed.), Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum. Choudhury, R. (2006). Understanding Family Life in India. In Aparajita Chowdhury, David K Carson and Cecyle Carson edited book on Family Life Education in India: Perspectives, challenges and Applications. New Delhi: Rawat Publications. Pp. 31-57. Chowdhury, A. (2007). Domestic Violence against elderly Women in South Orissa: A study of incidence, patterns and perspectives. Project report prepared for National Commission for Women, New Delhi. Chowdhury, A., Pattnaik, S. and Patro, A. (1994). Psycho-social profile of abused children in India. Early Child Development and Care, 104: 85-93. Cormack, M. (1961). The Hindu Women. Bombay: Asia Publishing House. Das, U. (2007). Women‟s Work and Family Interface. In D. K. Carson, C. K. Carson and Aparajita Chowdhury edited book – Indian Families at Crossroads – Preparing families for the New Millenium. New Delhi: Gyan Publishing House. Pp. 51-72. Dube, L. (1988). On the Construction of Gender: Hindu girls in patrileneal India. Economic and Political Weekly, 23 (18), WS 11-ws19. Fernandez, M. (1997). Domestic violence by extended family members in India: Interplay of gender and generation. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 12(3): 433-455. Ganesh, K. (1999). “Patrilineal Structure and Agency of Women: Issues in Gendered Socialization”. In: T.S. Saraswathi (Ed.), Culture, Socialization and Human Development. New Delhi: Sage. Gilbert, L.A. (1993). Two Careers/One Family. Newbury Park, C.A.: Sage. Goswami, B. (2000). “The Great Indian Joint Family”, Humanspace, April. Government of India Report (1974). “Towards Equality”, Report of the Committee on the Status of Women in India, New Delhi: Department of Social Welfare, Ministry of Education and Social Welfare. Government of India Report (2007). Child Abuse in India. Women and Child Development Department, New Delhi.
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