University of South Carolina

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2009

4-1-2009

The Daily Gamecock, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009 University of South Carolina, Office of Student Media

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THE NEWSPAPER FORMERLY KNOWN AS

Daily

Gamecock

The

THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2010

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH DAKOTA

Weather

dailygamecock.com VOL. LAST, NO. 3.14159 ● SINCE 2008 B.C.

Sodexho says ‘no more food for you’

TODAY2

HIGH 13 °

Chicken Fingerless Wednesday could lead to student cannibalism

TONIGHT

LOW -BLUE °

TOMORROW HIGH BURGLARIES°

Inside SPORTS

Devan Downey plays football!?!? Who’da thunk it?

See page 12

Ron Burgundy THE LEGEND

Students did not see this coming and neither did university officials. W hat st a r ted out as a si mple negotiation tactic led to riots, group nudity and similar gruesome acts. Sodexho workers began talk of a strike early last week, and after weeks of negotiating, Sodexho go on strike tomorrow. Stefanie Johnson, the self-appointed Sodexho Workers on Strike president, sa id t hey wa nt t hei r work day s shortened to 11:45 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. and the work week to last Tuesday through Thursday. “Basically, we really can’t stand the Sarah Langdon / That Girl That’s Probably Taken a Picture of You students,” she said. “It’s painful being A student enjoys his last supper at the Grand Market Place before Sodexho around them and every moment I spend with them takes years off of my workers went on strike, leaving campus dining facilities without food. Students riot at Wendy’s in response to Chicken Fingerless Wednesday. life.” Tensions will reach a boiling point Wednesday,” second-year biolog y to nearby restaurants such as Moe’s, on a day that will live in infamy in student Mike Lynch said. “Because Beezer’s and Wendy’s. Officials said since off-campus USC’s history: Chicken Fingerless there will be no chicken fingers, I will have to dip my own fi ngers in honey restaurants do not accept CarolinaCash Wednesday. as payment, riots are likely. “It was “Chicken Finger Wednesday without mustard and lick it off.” While Lynch will survive on honey complete chaos yesterday and the strike chicken fingers is just Wednesday. Just boring, old, regular, craptastic mustard alone, other students will flee wasn’t even official until today. People

Pastides bans cars on campus to save world Veronica Corningstone HOT ASSISTANT

Alan Tauber/ THE DAILY SHAMECOCK CHAPERONE

The Editor’s office in the Daily Gamecock stands empty. Soon, this will be the permenant state of the office.

See page 11

VIEWPOINTS

THE DAILY GAMECOCK TO PRINT FINAL ISSUE Budget cuts force USC’s daily student newspaper to stop publication

PHINEAS GAGE

KARA APPLES

Second-year Pun-studies student

Second-year Jonas BrothersStudies student

Ohio or Nohio?? Two Viewpoints columnists battle it out for the sake of our fine state of S.C.

See page 2

offline exclusive You know how to use the Internet. Why do we have to tell you? Go YouTube, Facebook, or Twitter yourself to death... GOSH...

Comments on this story? E-mail gamecocknews@ sc.edu

DUDE, WHERE’S OUR CARS?

THE MIX

Michael Bay has FINALLY been recognized for his unparalleled filmmaking prowess.

were burning tables, throwing chairs, ripping their clothes off.” Wendy’s employee David Thomas said. Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott responded to the scene at Wendy’s, calling it one of the worst he has ever seen. “Preemptive rioting? The students are trying to send a message,” he said. “I think the message is ‘don’t take my food away.’” The Chicken Fingerless Wednesday riots will be just the beginning. The university is preparing for the worst: students could resort to cannibalism. University President Harris Pastides said the university was working with Sodexho to quickly resolve the issue. “We hope to end this quickly, to avoid students eating students. We certainly hope it won’t come to that,” he said. “However, these are trying times.” While the university maintains a strict non-cannibalism policy, some students are not so opposed. “When you’re hungry, you eat,” said first-year science student Hans Lector. “Cheeseburgers, human meat, when you’re hungry, you can’t really tell the difference.”

Peter Dong STAFF LIAR

A f t e r 101 y e a r s of ex istence, The Daily Gamecock will print for the final time on Friday. The Board of Publications voted yesterday to eliminate the student newspaper due to recent budget cuts. “The Daily Gamecock has desired to give you the best coverage possible, and we think we’ve done a good job,” current Editor-inChief Jefferson Clinton said. “We’re going to miss the hours of unappreciated work everyday.” Following the last day of publication, staff members said they plan to vacation on a boat, Clinton said. So what will be gone? Everything. Gone are the stories that challenge the universit y ad m i n i s t r at ion , re v ie w re st au ra nt s, h igh l ight sporting events and exchange opi n ions. G one are t he reporters, the photographers, the designers and the copy editors. Gone is the paper, the lifeblood of the university. So what will the campus do without it? Be happy, many students said. “Since I’ve been at the university, all I’ve ever done in that paper is the little number puzzles where you fi ll all the boxes in,” Lloyd

Christmas, a seventh-year English student said. That’s right, students. The Sudoku puzzles will be gone too. “ I ’m s o e xc it e d T he Daily Gamecock will be gone,” Ailove Pi, a statistics professor, said. “People might actually pay attention.” The paper’s desire to only take up for people from above the Mason-Dixon line won’t be missed, one student said. “All this paper has ever done is take up for Yankees and people that don’t like the confederate flag at the St ate House,” Jef ferson O’Reilly Davis IV, a sixthyear southern studies student said. “Who’s gonna miss that rag of liberalism?” Even though he doesn’t read the paper, one student said he will miss The Daily Gamecock around campus. “Last week, I was in the bathroom and there was no toilet paper, but The Daily Gamecock was on the floor,” Henry Pooper, a third-year journalism student said. “It served a purpose that day.” One student was distraught when he heard the news. “If The Daily Gamecock shuts down, I won’t have anything to grammatically crit icize,” Kyle Johns, a second-year political science graduate student said. “I like getting online and tearing apart the paper and its writers everyday. My happiness in the world is gone.” Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

Parking garages are about to be empty. The streets will soon be quiet. Pedestrians will definitely be safer, but the bike racks will overf low. USC’s campus w ill dramat ically change after President Harris Pastides enforces his car-free campus initiative as part of his “go-green campaign” to begin Monday. Past ides sa id a carfree campus promotes sustainability. “This is our chance to shine,” Pastides said. “No one really needs a car. I’m even getting rid of my environmentally friendly, 2009 MINI Cooper S that students voted on at the beginning of the year.” Meter maids are up in arms about the changes. “I enjoy watching the time

run out and realizing the students’ carelessness. Putting that little orange envelope under a windshield wiper just makes me feel good inside, and now that’s gone,” Laurie Uptighterson of USC Parking Services said. Many st udents and professors on campus said they are outraged, while some treehuggers said they are ecstatic. “How am I supposed to get around? There’s no way I’m walking or biking here every day. I mean honestly, who walks places?” Jack Black, eighth-year English student, said. Li nda Donut, St rom Thu r mond Well ness a nd Fitness Center director, said she is very excited. “This is fantastic, although I’m sad t hat t he Weight Watchers group is already losing members due to this change.” Steve Carell, a seventh-year business student, said he is

extremely “p-oed” about the changes. “I do love my bikes, I’m not a very good driver,” Carell said. “But people should be able to do what they want.” There’s been alleged talk of an underground movement to get cars and drive them around campus in the middle of the night, although these allegations have not yet been confirmed. Parking Services Director Billy Bob said he is furious about the changes. S t u d e nt s A l l i e d f o r a G r e e n e r E a r t h (S AG E ) President Lily Willow said she could’t be happier about it. “We will be able to breathe s weet , u ncor r upted a i r,” Willow said with a big smile on her face as she sported a “Go Green or Go Home” T-shirt. “Everyone should be thanking Dr. Pastides.” Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

Sir Big Spur hits rock bottom Boozing has left gamecock homeless, mascot forced to beg for food Elle Woods

NOT A DUMB BLONDE

Columbia’s favorite gamecock, Sir Big Spur, is now homeless following several unpaid trailer payments. The gamecock, a fan favorite at USC football and baseball games, had his trailer seized after owing more than $100,000 in payments. Since then, Sir Big Spur has been living in a cardboard box on Assembly Street near Capital City Stadium. The bird cou ld reportedly not make payments because he was spending too much money gambling and boozing in Five Points. “He has a drinking problem,” USC’s official mascot, Cocky, said. “I’ve told him to stop and to pay his rent, but he said he was having too much fun.” Sir Big Spur has had trouble making ends meet since he was fired from his job working at the Riverbanks Zoo. “He was coming into work hungover all the time and spitting at visitors,” Sir Big Spur’s boss, Jesse McCartney, said. Sir Big Spur’s owners declined to comment. The Gamecock has refused to live with his owners and has been seen wandering the streets of Columbia, even occasionally stopping by bars in Five Points to beg for food. “It’s a shame,” Edward Cullen, Buy-A-DrinkHere bar owner in Five Points, said. “I let him crash in the bar some nights, but he wakes up the whole neighborhood at 6 a.m. when he crows, so he annoys the neighbors.”

Alan Tauber / THE OVEREDUCATED FOO’

Sir Big Spur rides valiantly into battle against some football team that probably beat us, while hiding a flask in his waddle. Not only was his trailer seized, but so was his means of transportation to USC sporting events. Sir Big Spur’s ride, known as “The Roost Roller,” was also taken, forcing the beloved bird to hitchhike for rides to games. The Gamecock has shown signs of depression and has refused to eat, causing him to lose his feathers. His situation was not helped when the UGA’s mascot, Uga VII, reportedly drove by the bird’s shack. Cocky said Sir Big Spur’s situation would be easily fi xed if he would just swallow his pride and move in with a friend. “I feel badly for the fellow,” Cocky said. Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

viewMASTER

PAGINO 22

THE COSBY

SHOW SHOW

THE FUTURE

DINO-BOARD Tyrannosaurus Rex

BRAD MAXWELL

Attention Ohioan immigrants: Take your chili, cold weather back to Buckeye state In recent years, an influx of people from a certain minority group has crippled South Carolina’s economy and left the state bereft of its once-proud identity. These people pass freely through our porous borders and poison our culture, take our jobs and seduce our women. That’s right: Ohioans are in our midst. Recent immigration figures project that, by the year 2030, the majority of the residents of our fair state will be from Ohio, leaving everyone else to wonder what exactly it means to be a South Carolinian. If this interstate flow is not stanched soon, disturbing choices will face our leaders. At what point, for instance, do we change the state language from Southern Drawl to Standard Midwestern? A nd are we morally obligated, as a society, to care for all the unwanted children of Ohioans? Do those babies become South Carolinians simply by virtue of the fact that they were born on our soil? To c a l l t h i s s t a t e ’s Ohioan population a hassle is a gross understatement. We’re talking about a people without the spine to form a consistent opinion about national politics. They’re a people whose founders were too stumblingly drunk to cut their flag in the shape of a rectangle. Research has shown a direct correlation between the number of Ohioans in a state and the incidence of many disturbing trends: Buckeye fights, small yippy dogs and Youngstowns, to name just a few. Do not be fooled: There is nothing rocking about Cleveland or holy about Toledo. Ohio culture is toxic to polite society. True, our distant neighbor to the northwest has inspired pit y f rom well-mean ing Southern humanitarians.

Ohio is ravaged yearly by lake effect snowstorms and seasonal bouts of ennui, and only the most desperate manage to escape alive. They are often smuggled by corrupt human transporters through the badlands of Kentuck y and Tennessee i n t he bac k of unmarked vans, shoved out near Spartanburg a nd lef t to PHINEAS fend for GAGE themselves. Twelfth-year But why marsupial should South student Carolina be a dumping ground for Ohioan refugees, who arrive with crazed eyes and horribly misguided taste in music? We’ve got problems of our own, after all. Ohioan immigrants place a tremendous burden on our business community, which already faces high unemployment rates. And their children, unaccustomed to the superior grease content of our school cafeteria food, br i ng st a nda rd ized test scores down. What can we, as upstanding enforcers of decency, do about the great leech among us? Deportation is not out of the question. That’s right: Get them out of here. This is, after all, South Carolina. We know a few things about states’ rights. Let this be a warning to all the plain-spoken, coldweather-loving, all-but-Canadian quasi-Midwesterners residing in Columbia: Don’t plan on staying for long. Sure, maybe you’ll finish your four years at the university, but after that, it’s back to the concrete tundra for you. And to true lovers of the Palmetto State, let this be our cry: Not here. No way. Nohio.

There are an awful lot of South Carolinians hating on Ohio. Being from Ohio, I always get an earful about how Ohioans are invading, are terrible drivers, (insert your favorite anti-Ohioan j a b h e r e) , etc. For a while, I just cou ld n’t understand where all this tension and KARA APPLES a n i m o s i t y came from, Second-year Jonas Brothers b u t a f t e r m u c h studies deliberation, student I’ve decided t he hat red stems f rom jealousy. Yeah, I said it, South Carolinians hate on Ohio because they are secretly jealous. W ho ne e d s b e ac he s and palmettos when you can have fabulous, scenic waterways like the Ohio R i v e r, c o m p l e t e w it h pollution and dead bodies? Who needs the Carolina Panthers when there are a m a z i n g, S u p e r B o w l champion teams like the Bengals and the Browns in Ohio? A nd if college football is more your jam, then we have teams like the Buckeyes who always dominate over the SEC — except for the last couple years ... Only crazy people would want to be in a place where t he temperat u res a re actually warm for most of the year. Carolinians are jealous of our f reezing temperatures and ample opportunities for snow. They also are jealous we can wear our UGGs longer during the year. Also, the money Ohioans add to South Carolina’s economy from tourism — completely unnecessary. If Ohioans stopped vacationing in the hordes of thousands upon thousands

that we do, South Carolina’s e c o n o m y w o u ld n’t b e affected at all, right? Not to ment ion , we have excellent choices for mayors. In Cincinnati, we had the absolute privilege of having the oh-so-classy Jerry Springer lead one of our fabulous metropolises. Has South Carolina ever had a mayor as awesome as Jerry? I don’t think so. But all t hese excuses are secondary to the one real reason Carolinians hate Ohio — we have a much superior name for c a rb on ated b e ver age s. Let me spell it out for you loud and clear — it’s called POP. There may be a Web site named GoBackToOhio. com, but little does the population of this state know that there is also a Web site called GoBackToSC.com. You may not have heard of it, but it’s a pretty big deal up above the MasonDixon Line. We’re sick of South Carolinians clogging up our interstates, trying to sneak glances at the popular Ohio River, Cleveland’s Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and the amusement park Cedar Point. They invade our universit ies, too. From what I hear, The Ohio State University’s population is 80 percent South Carolinian. Most Ohioans can barely get accepted into OSU because of the influx. It’s gotten so extreme that we may need to resort to barriers soon to keep those South Carolinians out. We tried tightening the security on the borders, but some Carolinians have re sor ted to s w i m m i ng across the Ohio River and climbing across the tops of our bridges. We don’t mind though, because, quite frankly, who wouldn’t want to live in Ohio?

You ruined my life, Mark. Forget you. Gov. Sanford forces students into Deliverance-esque situation at upstate Clemson This guy will do anything to become president in 2012, huh? Gov. Mark Sanford isn’t doing much to bolster his case against President Oba ma, much le s s i n prov id i ng t he mea ns by wh ich South Carolinians can generate capit a l a nd t herefore wealt h. He h a s e sp e c ia l ly m ade this difficult now that Sanford sig ned an executive order Monday RUBEUS calling for the immediate HAGRID closure of all of USC’s Third-year eight campuses. Yes, care of even ours. Today, he magical is expected to fire the creatures entire faculty and force student st udent s to choose bet ween Clemson Universit y and Coastal Carolina. This column is being simultaneously published in today’s final running of the Daily Gamecock, The Tiger (Clemson’s newspaper), and in the student newspaper over there at

Triceratops

Ohio natives bring diversity, overwhelming improvement to South

Coastal. He’s also closed down other colleges such as The Citadel, S.C. State, the College of Charleston and dozens of other campuses. Forget you. My quest ion to Sanford: W hat were you t hink ing? I believe it’s because President Obama t urned down Sanford’s using $775 million in stimulus funds to pay down state debt. Desperate, I guess Sanford saw the state’s largest liability (in his mind) and took it out. Unfortunately, that happened to be us. We had a good run, but it couldn’t stop our slash-and-burn governor from closing the university and leasing its buildings to businesses to pay down state debt. Can we get any lower than this? Forget you. Now, I’ve been t ra nsfer red to Clemson University along with the top 50 percent of USC’s undergraduate classes. I just went from the most liberal county in South Carolina to the most conservative one in nothing flat. Politics aside, I find it truly ironic that I’ve been uprooted from a university founded to unite the state into one that tore it apart at the seams. I just got a text from my friend Danni up there: “hey Austin welcome 2 da tiger fam .. usc wasn’t that gr8 anyway.”

Forget you. Next semester, I now have to pay $2,000-$3,000 more a semester than I wou ld have if Mark “We Have Too Many Public Schools” Sanford would have left USC alone. Besides, while I’ll be two hours from both my mom and dad, I’ll have to quit my job, and where’s a Kroger in Clemson where I can transfer? Wait, there isn’t one. There goes my plan to shoot for internships in Columbia. I can’t drive two and a half hours to and from Clemson to work in Columbia ... But wait. I don’t have a car. Forget you. Next semester, I won’t be able to see nail-biting SEC games, only sucky ACC games. We’ll never k now if Darrin Horn’s squad finally makes the NCAAs. And Sanford screwed up the entire rivalry between us and Clemson. Now that we’re up there, eight people to a four-person suite, how are we going to settle our differences — intramurals? Forget you. Forget you, Marshall Sanford, Jr. By limiting the choices we have for higher education, you crammed thousands more people in the mountains and slammed the door shut to thousands more. I hope you’re happy.

INTERESTED IN JOURNALISM? WANT TO BE A REPORTER? Then get in line at the unemployment office, like the rest of us.

AMANDA DAVIS Brontosaurus

Velociraptor

EDDIE MANN Procompsognathus

LIZ SEGRIST

CHRIS COX

Pachycephalasaurus

Ankylosaurus

COLIN JONES Plesiosaurus

MORGAN REID

PAUL BOWERS Pterodactyl

ALAN TAUBER

Unappreciated paper fed up, calls it quits We hope you’re happy, students. After years of complaining about how we over cover Greek Life, how we under cover Greek Life and how our exposés on things like the campus’s squirrel problem are unnecessary and out of touch, we hope you are happy. That’s because you won’t be hearing from us anymore. That’s right, from now on, there is no more Daily Gamecock. No more news, no more viewpoints, amd no more sports. After all, none of you read it anyway, right? Oh, we forgot to mention one thing you won’t be getting anymore — Sudoku and crossword puzzles. No big deal, you say? They were too hard and the clues never worked anyway, right? Well, fine. If you don’t think you need those either, then so be it. But you’ll miss us when you have to actually pay attention for a whole class period. With no Sudoku, you might actually learn something. Your GPA might even go up a point or two. You’ll miss us then. Now that we don’t have to spend time covering stories for your benefit, we can devote our time to something actually important — squirrel population control. We weren’t joking when we said there was a problem last fall. They are going to take over campus if we aren’t careful. So next time your organization needs an advertisement or profile story, or killer squirrels steal your lunch and beat you up, don’t come crying to us. It’s been real. It’s been fun. But it hasn’t been real fun.

It’s been real. It’s been fun. But it hasn’t been real fun.

CORRECTIONS If u c an error, like txt it to us w/ ur totally awesome korexions! ROFL. LMAO. k thx ttyl

GET YOUR OWN NEWSPAPER The goal of The Daily Gamecock’s Viewpoints page is to suppress student voices through time-honored voodoo practice. All published authors are expected to provide bribe money to corrupt copy editors. The Daily Gamecock encourages readers to voice opinions and offers three methods of response: tar-andfeatherings, public humiliation and running out of town on a rail. L et ter s a nd g ue st colu m n s should be submitted via e-mail to [email protected]. Epistles must be ten thousand times ten thousand words in length and include the

author’s name, year in school and social security number. We also invite student leaders a nd USC f ac u lt y memb er s to submit stool samples — why not? Columnists should keep submissions to about four inches in length and include the author’s name and fiber intake. Guest work will be largely ig nored because we’re like t he frickin’ New Yorker over here. The editor reserves the right to ridicule and change submissions to suit his own whimsy. A ll subm issions become t he property of Student Intelligence and must conform to groupthink.

About The Daily Gamecock

THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK IN MEMORY OF

CONTACT INFORMATION Offices located on the in the back of Taco Bell in Cayce Editor: [email protected] News: [email protected] Viewpoints: [email protected] Th e Mix: [email protected] Sports: [email protected] Online: www.ihavenolife.com Newsroom: 867-5309 Sports: 202- 456-1414 Editor’s Office: Call later Fax: Busy

ALL THOSE LOST TO SQUIRREL ATTACKS ON THE HORSESHOE.

The Daily Gamecock is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Cackalack. It is published daily ‘cept when it ain’t. Opinions expressed in The Daily Gamecock are those of great, farseeing minds. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Daily Gamecock,begrudgingly. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper’s parent organization. The Daily Gamecock is supported in part by selling hot dogs. 2000 free copies per reader. Additional copies may be purchased fo free from the Department of Homeland Security.

dailygamecock.com WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA

Weather TODAY

HIGH 73°

TONIGHT LOW 59°

TOMORROW HIGH 75°

Inside SPORTS

The Gamecocks suffer their third out-ofconference loss at the Citadel Tuesday night.

See page 7

THE MIX

Panel stimulates economic talk Forum discusses financial future, issues under Obama administration Meagean Dugger STAFF WRITER

An economic panel met in Lumpk in Auditorium Tuesday night to discuss t he cu rrent state of t he economy, and the future of the economy under the Obama administration. The panel, consisting of John McDermott, the economics department chair; Ti m Koch , t he f i na nce department chair; Carolina Strobel, an accounting professor; and Jim Bradley, a retired professor, met to make current economic issues more clear to students Koch opened the panel with a presentation on ways to improve the economy, and believes the restoration is a three-step process. Koch said the real estate market must first regain st reng t h, ba n k s must begin lending again and consumer confidence must increase. “It’s not a complex system,” he said. Koch added that “the good bank, bad bank” solution is simple. “Banks aren’t lending. They’re asking for much bigger down payments and much higher credit scores, so less people are qualify-

Hannah Carroll/ THE DAILY GAMECOCK

(From left) Caroline Stroble, Tim Koch and Jim McDermott speak at the economic forum in the BA Tuesday night. ing for loans,” he said. Strobel, whose expertise is taxation, said Obama’s new taxation system will cause more problems than most anticipate. “ T he new t a x s y stem will cause people on a fi xed income a lot of trouble,” Strobel said about Obama’s tax system. “People will be surprised by the impact of his system, because every-

one will be affected. The policy has removed a large portion of the population from the tax system.” Strobel said that in 2010, Obama wants to do away with LIFO, deductions for charities and will institute a carbon tax, forcing a rise in utilities, but speeding up the process of “going green.” “ M o r e o f t h e ‘s m a r t

Alan Tauber begins role as represenatitive, voice for graduate students

See page 5

Hunter Hardinge

VIEWPOINTS

See page 6

Online Exclusive VIEWPOINTS ONLINE USC has more to be proud of than just the Moore School of EMILY Business. WEITHMAN ird-year We’re on the Th English cutting edge student of hydrogen fuel cell technology and we should be telling the world.

www.dailygamecock.com

car’ type movements will b e h ap p e n i n g a s t a x e s increase and it will happen faster,” Bradley said. David Hughes, a fourthyear market ing st udent, org a n iz ed t he pa nel to expose economic concepts to college st udent s who normally don’t discuss the issues regularly. “The panel was just to educate the student body

on the current state of the economy.” Hughes said. ““My goal is basically to educate the non-business students about the current economic issues. This is probably t he mo st sig nificant economic crisis in years.” Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

New GSA president off to quick start

The Nickelodeon Theatre prepares for a big move next year into the renovated Fox Theatre.

Your morning cup of joe passes through many hands, but DARREN how many PRICE Third-year of those English people student make any real money?

VOL. 102, NO. 122 ● SINCE 1908

STAFF WRITER

Patrick Collard/ The Associated Press

Jamarr Brown and Marilyn Hemingway hold signs before South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford gives a speech at Furman University in Greenville on Monday.

SC lawmakers back away from $700 million in stimulus cash Legislators try to pressure Sanford to take federal funds before deadline Jim Davenport Associated Press

South Carolina is poised to become the first state to shrug off federal stimulus money intended to help recession-battered schools, throwing hundreds of teacher jobs into jeopardy because lawmakers doubt Washington can mandate how the state spends money. For a week, legislators threatened to write an annual budget without $350 million in federal cash as a way to build public pressure on Gov. Mark Sanford to take the money. Rallies have been held in cities around the state, and one is planned for today at the Capitol. But on Tuesday, the political theatrics appeared to crystalize. State Attorney General Henry McMaster said the Legislature can put the money in a budget, but the governor still is in control of spending the $700 million targeted for the state over two years. “The Legislature cannot compel the governor to act against his will. Only a court could do that,” McMaster told The Associated Press.

Lawmakers, still hoping the governor will change his mind in time to take the money by a Friday deadline, said the nonbinding ruling had changed the game because of the threat of legal action. Senate Finance Committee Chairman Hugh Leatherman said he’d now have to write a budget without the stimulus cash because of the potential legal challenge. That budget would cut public school spending by $161.6 million, college spending by $44.2 million and law enforcement and public safety agency budgets by $39.4 million. “Based upon what we’ve heard this morning, if this governor can be so callous and so hardhearted to not draw down these funds for the benefit of our people, in my opinion, the governor has absolutely no interest in this state and the people that he governs,” said Leatherman, R-Florence. Sanford, the Republican Governors Association chairman, has raised his national profile and talk of a 2012 White House run with outspoken opposition to the $787 billion federal stimulus law. He had control over $700 million of the $2.8 billion headed to the state and insists he won’t use the money for anything other than repaying debt, a position the White House has reFUNDS ● 3

“I’m now i n charge of 6,000 students instead of just the 40 graduates in the political science department,” said new Graduate Student Association President-elect Alan Tauber. With new responsibilities and goals, Tauber said he is working toward changing the involvement of graduate students in Student Government as well as representing t he voice of grad students to t he ma ny deans. “I represent t he need of the g r a d u at e s and I am t he voice TAUBER for t hem,” Tauber said. “It is important for me to be an advocate. I really want to increase representation in Student Government and raise awareness of certain problems that need to be fi xed.” Tauber’s ability to speak with officials, such as President Pastides and deans of other colleges, allows him to express his concerns on the minimum number of class sizes and the loans for international students, he said. “Right now, the class size for graduate students was increased to eight people,” Tauber said. “While this is great, many graduates want very specialized programs and won’t get eight people to take the class. Also, international students can’t receive

loans right now and I want to fi x that.” As president, Tauber said he’ll be extremely busy representing the views of many. Former GSA president Reed Curtis said determination and the right attitude are important. “I have complete faith in Tauber. He knows what he has to do and I can’t wait to see what he accomplishes,” Curtis said. Curtis said Tauber needs to understand this is a full time responsibility and it requires a lot of his attention. “He w ill be ex t remely busy, but it is important to never lose sight of the positive and know that what you are doing is the right thing,” Curtis said. W it h h is ex per ience as The Da ily G amecock photography editor and the Polit ical Science 422 International Law professor, Tauber said he knows how to be responsible, as well as a leader. “I am ver y open to the graduate students giving me their opinions,” Tauber said. “We even have meet ings every second Tuesday of the month.” Wit h Tauber of f icially taking over the president’s position April 10, he said he is really looking toward the future. “I have so many ideas that I have already been talking to Presidents Pastides about and he has been so supportive,” Tauber said. “I would really love for graduate students to contact me with any concerns or if anyone would like to help with having a bigger graduate voice out there to let me know.” Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

pageTWO • The International Student Association, in collaboration with the International Student Services Office, will hold the 10th Annual World Night Sunday at 6 p.m. in the Russell House Ballroom. Tickets cost $5 for students with a valid student ID and include a sampling of foods from around the world. Food is limited. • For any faculty member wishing to get information, join the “Faculty Fighting Cancer” team or to donate to USC’s Relay for Life, visit http://main.acsevents. org/goto/uscfaculty. For more information, contact the USC Relay for LIFE. • There will be a Recovery Rally called the “People’s Stimulus Rally” today at the State House from 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Organizers are encouraging USC students and Columbia citizens to urge Gov. Mark Sanford to accept the stimulus money.

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“We cannot, and must not, and we will not let our auto industry simply vanish.” A) President Barack Obama B) General Motors CEO Fritz Henderson C) Ford Motor Co. President and CEO Alan Mulally D) Michigan Gov. Jennifer M. Granholm E) Secretary of State Hillary Clinton Log onto our Web site, www.dailygamecock.com, to cast your vote in this week’s poll. Last week’s answer: “When you talk about virginity and sex publicly, people just automatically picture you naked.” Answer: Taylor Swift — Compiled by News Editor Liz Segrist

Jennifer Thomerson / THE DAILY GAMECOCK

Students Lauren Graham, Georgina Wilson and Toni Lawrimore along with former student Lindsay Daniel show off their tattoos. They all reflect a general theme of love.

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South Carolina legislators rejected a bill Tuesday that would give Gov. Mark Sanford control of the state’s unemployment agency. Sanford had supported the bill that would have created a new, Cabinet-level Workforce Department to replace the South Carolina Employment Security Commission. Sanford had complained the agency wasn’t doing enough to get the unemployed back to work. He said moving it within his Cabinet would make sure it closely worked with his Commerce Department to create jobs.

GENESEO, N.Y. — Three members of a banned fraternit y were charged with criminally negligent homicide Tuesday for organizing a wild night of drinking that left a college sophomore dead of alcohol poisoning. A rman Partamian , 19, a biology student from Queens, was found lying face-down on a mattress March 1 at a house run by an off-campus club known as the Orange Knights, or Pigs. Police said he had been drinking heavily for three days to gain membership in the club, located near the State University of New York at Geneseo.

D ER A ISM AIL KHA N, Pakistan — The Pakistani Taliban commander claimed responsibility Tuesday for a deadly assault on a Pakistani police academy and said the group was planning a terrorist attack on the White House that would “amaze” the world. Baitullah Mehsud, who has a $5 million bounty on his head from the U.S., said Monday’s attack on the outskirts of the eastern city of Lahore was retaliation for U.S. missile strikes against militants along the Afghan border.

—The Associated Press

The Daily Gamecock ● WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009 FUNDS ● Continued from 1 jected twice. South Carolina, which had the nation’s second-highest jobless rate in February, cut $1 billion from a $7 billion spending plan as tax revenues slumped last year. The governor proposed an austere spending plan for the next fiscal year that keeps many of those cuts, such as ending the construction of wheelchair ramps for the disabled and limiting meals for the

Patrick Collard / The Associated Press

Gov. Mark Sanford gives a speech at Furman University on Monday.

ONE

homebound. On Monday, he blamed the needed cuts on lawmakers spending too much. He contends stimulus money will devalue the dollar and ultimately increase taxes. His spokesman reiterated Tuesday that federal money would be requested only if lawmakers agree to use the same amount of money to pay off state debt. School officials and lawmakers have predicted chaos without the cash. Schools chief Jim Rex has said 1,100 positions are open right now, and that he doesn’t k now whether public schools can remain viable. USC President Ha r r is Pastides predicted program cuts and said students could face larger tuition increases if Sanford doesn’t take the money. The school has lost $55 million in state funds since June, but could get $35 million of that back with the stimulus cash, he said. “That money has already been allocated by the federal government,” Pastides said Tuesday. “South Carolinians are going to take up the burden of the federal debt

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any way. W hy not use the money to keep body and soul together and persevere for the citizens?” If South Carolina doesn’t request the money, it can be sent to other states. S e n at e P r e s id e nt P r o Tem Glenn McConnell, RCharleston, said the governor needs to make the request to “end what will become an expensive court battle and uncertainty.” A s of Tue s d ay, S out h Carolina was among four states that hadn’t told the U.S. Education Department it planned to use the money with a Friday deadline looming. However, officials in Alaska, Indiana and Montana were working on those plans. — Associated Press writers Bruce Smith in Charleston and Seanna Adcox in Columbia contributed to this report.

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

‘24’ president needs to put citizens first

EDITORIAL BOARD Editor

BRAD MAXWELL

Popular TV program shows possible policy conflict; American safety paramount I’m a passing fan of Fox’s testosterone-laced serial drama “24,” or “The Jack Bauer Power Hour.” This is ordinarily not the place that one goes to find ethical dilemmas to ponder, but I found one earlier this season. A terrorist leader demands that President Allison Taylor cancel an invasion of the fictitious African nation of Sangala (read: Sudan) to stop a genocide or he will begin a series of attacks on sensitive targets, including airports, chemical plants and power plants, MICHAEL c u l m i nat i ng BAUMANN i n biolog ic a l Fourth-year warfare on political t he A merican science mainland. The student t e r r or i s t h a s the power to orchestrate such mayhem, and the president is faced with a choice. W hen she ref uses, t he terrorist causes two civilian aircraf ts to collide above Washington, D.C., killing hundreds. Without the actions of Bauer and others, thousands of Americans would have perished. What’s the right move in that situation? Should the president of the United States trade innocent American lives for innocent Sangalan lives? Or, for that matter, innocent Rwandan, Kosovar or Somalian lives? My answer is an unequivocal “no.” Even American servicemen and women should be spared the responsibility of combating threats to other nations. Their job is to protect American lives and American interests. So while overseas action in, say, Afghanistan now or Normandy 65 years ago would ward off potential threats to Americans at home, I cannot see a justification for a president to risk even one American life, even to save thousands of lives elsewhere. I’ll readily admit that my view on this is far from moral or humanitarian. I’ll concede that keeping American troops at home can lead to untold suffering and carnage in other places. But the president’s job is to provide for the security and well-being of Americans. Some globalists and liberals (by which I mean politicians and activists of both parties who wantonly support interventionist foreign policy) tend to omit that last word. The security and well-being of Rwandans is the purview of the Rwandan government. Now, if they’re not doing a good job, that’s unfortunate a nd de spic able, but t hat doesn’t abdicate the American government’s responsibility to protect its own, including its soldiers, much less obligate it to do the opposite. President Taylor’s conundrum, while diff icult and morally troubling, should have been relatively easy, but she chose wrong, as have many other American presidents when faced with similar situations. While sending a few Americans so save Somolians or Bosnians might be the moral thing to do, the American government is a secular and amoral state. Making President Taylor’s choice might put a president right in the eyes of God, but it would mean failing at their job: protecting Americans. Fortunately, Jack Bauer could bail her out. If only real-world presidents were so lucky.

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IN OUR OPINION

I AM CAROLINA (AND SO CAN YOU!)

Coffee economics has stains America’s favorite drink passes through many hands, forgets farmers Hello, my name is Darren Price, and I am a coffee addict. Like most A mer ica ns, I cannot live without my morning cuppa joe. We p a y a s much as $5 dol l a r s f or DARREN a cup of the PRICE Third-year st uf f, and English i f we wer e student desperate enough, would probably go as high as $10 for a Venti double white chocolate soy mocha steamer. In fact, as I am writing this now, I hold $2 cup of black Starbucks Kenya blend in my hand. A s addicted consumers, we only see the world of coffee from our tidy Starbucks bench, listening to some adult contemp. For us, that’s coffee business. But make no mistake, coffee business is dirt y business. The economics of the coffee trade rest on a series of middlemen buying and selling the product. This

isn’t the orange juice industry, where the farmer is standing on the other side of the shelf waiting to hand you a carton. In fact, few of the coffee growers who produce the 12 billion pounds of the beans will ever see their consumers — or the profits from them, for that matter. Sm a l l g rower s , who make up most of the industry sell unroasted ‘green’ coffee to an exporter, who then sells it to a foreign importer. The exporter, in turn gives a small margin to the grower, but keeps the majority of the profit to themselves. The importers, in turn will hold on to large quantities of ‘green’ coffee in containers, and sell it to roasters. Roasters are the people who prepare the coffee for consumption. They make the largest margin out of any of the players when they sell to coffee shops and retailers, like Maxwell house. By the time you grab that cup and heat sleeve, your coffee has passed through as many as five or six hands, most of whom did little more than ship it somewhere for a huge profit. The grower in all of this is prett y much left out. About 70 percent of the

world’s coffee comes from small farms of 25 acres or less, and is the farm’s sole sou rce of income. Throughout most of the Cold War, coffee wholesale prices were regulated and held at a minimum of $1.20 per pound. When the agreement ran out in 1989 prices plunged each of the next 12 years, hitting rock bottom in 2002 at 45 cents per pound in Colombian Arabica. During this time, farmers could hope to take home about 24 cents for each pound they harvested, while major coffee corporations sold the finished product for an average of $3.90 per pound. Ethiopian farmers in the 2006 documentary ‘Black Gold,’ only made 11 cents per pound of coffee. They said it was 1/10 what t hey needed to fill their family’s basic needs — food, clothing, and education for their children. Coffee is a case study in economic imperialism, and it has clear winners and clear losers. Next week, I’ll look at what the 500 billion cup-a-year industry means to the unique environments of Central and South America, Northeast Africa and the Orient.

IN YOUR OPINION In response to ‘In Our Opinion’ on Mar. 26 T he S out h C a r ol i n a Senate is proposing that a bill be passed which requires all voters to present some sort of photo identification preceding the placement of their ballot. To those of us reading The Daily G a mecock a nd for t he majority of college students in general, this bill seems insignificant. But to those individuals for whom this bill will mean the denial of their right to vote, it is undeniably life-changing. The idealistic bubble that we live in, which some call college, some call USC, others may understand it to be “my life,” is in no way reality. It may not be our personal reality ... but it is the reality of those whose rights of citizenship are slowly disintegrating. To an individual who is working two or three jobs seven days a week just to put food on the table for themselves and families, $5, taking a day off of work to attain a photo ID and acquiring transportation may be an impossible request. While the profound privilege of casting one’s vote does not always hit home for us personally, for others, whose voice is never heard or acknowledged, it is their only sense of dignity and

worth. During one of the most economically devastating times in our economy, many warring views of realit y will inevitably clash. But it is the insistent apathetic recognition, which governs society that will continue to keep exclusionism afloat. Cha l lenge you rself. A s a college student who has been given this enormous oppor t u n it y to educate yourself, challenge the view that you see as your own and explore the ones that do not understand. Just because you do not live them, does not mean that they do no exist. Allow yourself to truly and honestly evaluate the world that exists outside of your world. You will find that when realities do clash and confront one another, the words “no big deal” do not exist. Jessica Hinman, Fourthyear art history student

In response to “Old Flag Holds Columbia back” by Ryan Quinn I wish Mr. Quinn would read the inscription on the memorial before he attacked t he f lag which so many brave men fought and died under years ago. The spirit of those who died as well as those who lived to tell about

the horrors of the Civil War speaks across generations to us today through these words etched in stone: Let the stranger, who may in the future times Read this inscription, Recognize that t hese were men W hom power could not corrupt, W hom deat h could not terrify, Whom defeat could not dishonor And let their virtues plead For just judgment Of the Cause in which they perished. Let the South Ca rol i n ia n O f a not her generation Remember That the State taught them How to live and how to die. And that from her broken fortunes She has preserved for her children The priceless treasure of their memories, Te ac h i ng a l l who m ay claim The same birthright That truth, courage and patriotism Endure forever. The Confederate f lag on the State House grounds is not a symbol of racism or hate, but a sign of respect to the South Carolinians who sacrificed their own lives for their friends, family, and country during the war. The flag is a soldier’s flag properly placed at a soldier’s monument, and that is where it should stay. G. Lee Cole, Jr. First-year law student

SC students must take action for needed funds If we don’t fight now, the University of South Carolina could stand to be in an even worse bind than it already is. That’s because South Carolina governor Mark Sanford has until Friday to decide what he will do with the $700 million in stimulus funds Washington is giving the state over the next two years to help bolster state schools sagging from the recession. Sa nford doesn’t wa nt to use the funds to help the education system, but would rather use it to pay off South Carolina’s state debt. W h i le we u nder st a nd the governor’s ideological states’-rights stand, something needs to be done for the schools. South Carolina’s education system is struggling monumentally — just look at our university. They need immediate attention from everyone. As students, we should be chief ly concerned by what we stand to lose. USC has already lost $55 million this year. If Sanford used the funds for their intended purpose, that number would drop $35 million. Without the funds, our already struggling university could be in even more dire straits. Tuition would increase even more, services would decline, and the classroom experience would suffer incredibly. So what can you do to change the governor’s mind? Well, you can start by going to the ‘People’s Stimulus Rally’ on the Statehouse steps today from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Its only three blocks away from campus, and it’s only for an hour. Go to the rally. Your educational future could depend on it.

Go to the rally. Your educational future could depend on it.

CORRECTIONS If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know about it. E-mail us at [email protected].

ITʼS YOUR RIGHT The goal of The Daily G a me co c k ’s V ie w p oi nt s p age is to stimulate discussion in the Un iver sit y of Sout h Ca rol i na community. All published authors are expected to provide logical arguments to back their views. The Daily Gamecock encourages readers to voice opinions and offers three methods of expression: letters to the editor, guest columns and feedback on dailygamecock.com. L et ter s a nd g ue st colu m n s should be submitted via e-mail to [email protected]. Letters must be 200 to 300 words in length and include the author’s name, year

in school and area of study. We also invite student leaders a nd USC f ac u lt y memb er s to submit guest columns. Columnists should keep submissions to about 500 words in length and include the author’s name and position. Guest columns are limited to three per author per semester. The editor reserves the right to edit and condense submissions for length and clarity, or not publish at all. A ll subm issions become t he property of The Daily Gamecock and must conform to t he legal standards of USC Student Media.

About The Daily Gamecock Editor BRAD MAXWELL Managing Editor AMANDA DAVIS Copy Desk Chief EDDIE MANN Assistant Copy Desk Chief LYDIA DISABATINO Design Director MORGAN REID Assistant Design Director LIZZIE ERICKSON News Editor LIZ SEGRIST Assistant News Editor KARA APEL Viewpoints Editor PAUL BOWERS Assistant Viewpoints Editor DARREN PRICE The Mix Editor COLIN JONES Assistant Mix Editor ELLEN MEDER Sports Editor CHRIS COX Assistant Sports Editor JONATHAN BATTAGLIA Photo Editor ALAN TAUBER Assistant Photo Editor KERI GOFF Multimedia Director JONATHAN BATTAGLIA Copy Editors BESS ZHOU, ANNA LANE, SARAH LADA, KENNY DORIAN, SARAH PETERMAN, ANNA CHAMBERS, HANNAH MCCARTNEY, KELSEY PACER, LINDSAY WOLFE, KARLY EATON Page Designers CHRISTEN RUBLE, CAMILLE HOLLEMAN, MARILYNN JOYNER, MEGAN HILBERT

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“Music is the shorthand of emotion.” — Leo Tolstoy

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

PAGE 5

Nickelodeon Theatre prepares for move New accomodations will feature two screens, larger lobby Colin Jones MIX EDITOR

Below the plush seats and darkened screen of the Nickelodeon Theatre, A ssociate Director Andy Smith sits surrounded by fi lm posters plastered on the brick walls and ceiling of his basement office. In a year, the theatre, Smith and the posters will move into their new home at the renovated Fox Theatre on Main Street after 30 years at their current venue. Fou nde d i n 1979 b y Un i ver s it y of South Carolina media arts students Linda O’Connor and Carl Davis , the Nick has been providing a safe haven for independent fi lms and art-house projects for almost 30 years. Smith said O’Connor and Davis initially started the theatre as a film club for watching classic movies and the organization grew from those local beginnings. “This was before cable, V HS tapes or DVDs,” Smith said. “So the only way for them to watch old movies was for them to get the original prints.” The organizers took it upon themselves to rent the space where the theatre is currently housed and show 16 MM prints on an old projector with their friends, Smith said. From its conception, the Nickelodeon has grown over the past 30 years into a nonprofit organization run by the Columbia Film Society and remains the only nonprofit art house theatre in the state. The theatre also helps promote the local sout heast independent f ilm scene wit h a number of film festivals including the Community Film Forum, the Columbia Jewish Film Festival and The Indie Grits Film Festival which Smith helps produce as executive director. According to the staff that makes up the heart of the Nickelodeon Theatre, the uniqueness of the theatre comes from

not only the independent films that they show but also the atmosphere and ideology behind the organization. “The Nick is incredibly unique not only for being non-profit and being so small but the closeness we have with the community,” Tori Katherman, director of marketing and membership, said. “We are very in touch with our members. It’s a really personal setting. Another perk Katherman remarked was that the Nick is the only theatre in the midlands area that serves beer along with popcorn. Now, after five years of planning, the Nickelodeon pla ns to move it s ent ire operation into the heart of Main Street. The plans got underway in June 2005 when t he fam ily of State Senator Joel Laurie wanted to sell the Fox Theatre on Main Street to an art organization. After several prospective buyers, the Nick and the Columbia Film Society were chosen and gained the support of the city. Since t he Nick is a non-prof it organizat ion, Columbia decided to donate $300,000 to the purchasing of the Fox. The Laurie family then gave an in-kind contribution to cover the rest of the building, valued at $450,000. After purchasing the building, the Nick now faces the task of raising money to fund the overall move. “A little over a year ago we kicked off our Capital Campaign to actually raise the money to get over there,” Smith said. According to their Web site, the Nick is working in conjunction with the Columbia Film Society and the Wheless Group of Greenville to fund the renovation and the move with a $4.8 million budget. “I think [the move] is going to revitalize not only the arts community of Columbia but t he Nickelodeon’s posit ion in t he community,” Andrew Cline, Director of Theatre Operations, said. Cline and Smith both remarked that the theatre could help rejuvenate the Main Street district, which has fallen in respect

Five Peace Band brings back old spirit of jazz, evolves for present Corea, McLaughlin combination produces rich, eclectic songs, tributes Mark Stryker

The Nickelodeon Theatre was founded in 1979 by two former USC media arts students. and popularity of the past few decades. In addition to being at a different location, the Fox will provide the Nick with a chance to expand operation. “It’s a lot bigger. It has two screens in it so we’ll be able to show two different fi lms at once,” Smith said. He noted that the lobby and concession space would be considerably larger as well. On the new features, Cline said that t here is also a plan in t he work s for a possible piano bar located in the lobby of the Nickelodeon. The t heatre will also house t he new Columbia Media Education Center which will offer after-school classes focused on

media production and literacy for local high school students and adults, Smith said. With the move there is the question of member loyalty and how members attached to the original building will cope with the switch. However, employees of the theatre don’t foresee any major problems. “ We’r e lo ok i n g at t he move a s a n improvement on our theatre and a really big asset to the community without losing any of its heart or originality,” Katherman said.

Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@ sc.edu

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Forty years ago, pianist Chick Corea and guitarist John McLaughlin crossed paths in the recording studio for the sessions that led to Miles Davis’ jazz-rock classics “In a Silent Way” and “Bitches Brew.” While Corea and McLaughlin would eventually perform occasionally together — including a Feb. 21, 1970, concert with Davis in Ann Arbor, Mich., that’s been issued as a bootleg CD — they were never part of the same working group until their Five Peace Band made its debut last year. The group includes alto saxophonist Kenny Garrett, acoustic and electric bassist Christian McBride and drummer Brian Blade. There’s a two-CD set, recorded last fall on tour in Europe (with Vinnie Colaiuta on drums) that’s available as a download through digital sources and will be issued conventionally April 28 (2 stars, Concord). At its best, the music — rich with extended improvisation, brimming with technique and dancing around an acoustic-electric fault line — evokes the spirit of the innocent early days of fusion from 1969-74, when jazz-rock still carried the cache of adventure rather than the banalities that came later. The musicians here are playing, taking risks, keeping their ears open to the moment and flowing comfortably between fast rock beats, loping funk and passages of swinging post-bop. Gestures and climaxes are big, scaled to concert halls. On the 20-minute Davis tribute “In a Silent Way/It’s About That Time” — which has Herbie Hancock sitting in to inspired effect on piano — the music channels mystery, fire and spontaneity into sustained ecstasy. The band leans into the bluesy vamp, Corea (on electric piano) and Hancock reading each other’s minds. McBride strikes a deep groove, Garrett’s hot-and-sour alto caterwauls, McLaughlin’s crunchy guitar rocks out and Colaiuta’s drums

Alan Tauber / THE DAILY GAMECOCK

Courtesy of BMasse.com

Music by the Five Peace Band is influenced by ‘70s fusion and acoustic-electric beats. are more focused than elsewhere. Mostly, however, individual passages come off better than the wandering extended performances, where the payoffs don’t always justify the journey. The many rhythmic and textural shifts on Jackie McLean’s blues “Dr. Jackle” descend into pastiche, though Garrett still blows up an expressive bebop storm. Corea’s ambitious 28-minute sci-fi suite “Hymn to Andromeda” includes stimulating interplay between Corea and McBride, but the elaborate rigging turns a bit nerdy in spots. After its first flush of creativity, one wing of ‘70s fusion got trapped in the cul-de-sac of hyper drive attitude and warp-speed chops. Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@ sc.edu

1. BIRD AND THE BEE • Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future (Blue Note) 2. JUSTICE • A Cross The Universe (Atlantic) 3. COCONUT RECORDS • Davy (Young Baby) 4. BISHOP ALLEN • Grrr (Dead Oceans) 5. FEVER RAY • Fever Ray (Mute) 6. ANAVAN • Cover Story (Slanty Shanty) 7. NEKO CASE • Middle Cyclone (Anti) 8. OF MONTREAL • An Eluardian Instance (Jon Brion Remix) [EP ] 9. TORO Y MOI • My Touch 10. PAPA STRING BAND • Papa String Band 11. PASSION PIT • Chunk Of Change Frenchkiss 12. SWAN LAKE • Enemy Mine (Jagjaguwar) 13. DAN AUERBACH • Keep It Hid (Nonesuch) 14. HERE WE GO MAGIC • Here We Go Magic (Western Vinyl) 15. HORATIO LEE JENKINS • Drunker Than Satan (SelfReleased) 16. PHANTODS • Phantods 17. ROYKSOPP • Junior Astralwerks 18. DAN DEACON • Bromst Carpark 19. DANNY SCHMIDT • Instead The Forest Rose To Sing Red House 20. VENICE IS SINKING • AZAR(One Percent Press) 21. WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS • The Sparrow And The Crow (Downtown) 22. SHOLI • Sholi (Quarterstick ) 23. SAY HI • Oohs And Aahs (Barsuk) 24. SETH WALKER • Leap Of Faith Hyena 25. DRAGON FLI EMPIRE • Redefine (Self-Released) 26. AMADOU AND MARIAM • Welcome To Mali Nonesuch 27. BOOKER T. • Potato Hole (Anti) 28. BETH ORTON • Trailer Park (Legacy) 29. AUSTIN CRANE • I Know My Hands 30. BON IVER • Blood Bank [EP] Secretly Canadian

The Daily Gamecock ● WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

PAGE 6

The Scene @ USC

Inside the Box ◆ By Marlowe Leverette / The Daily Gamecock

WENDY AND LUCY 3 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8 p.m., $6.00-$6.50 Nickelodeon Theater, 937 Main St.

Whiteboard ◆ By Bobby Sutton / The Daily Gamecock

TOMORROW

TODAY

PhD ◆ By Jorge Chan

MR. B’S GOODTIME KARAOKE EXPLOSION 8 p.m., free Art Bar, 1211 Park St.

SHAWN’S BIG LOVE RETRO DANCE NITE 8 p.m., free Art Bar, 1211 Park St.

T HIS OR T HE A P O CA LY P SE, IN T O T HE DEPTHS 8 p.m., $5 New Brookland Tavern, 122 State St.

WUSC DANCE PARTY 9 p.m., $2 New Brookland Tavern, 122 State St. THE BENJY DAVIS PROJECT 8 p.m., $7 over 21/ $10 under Headliners, 700 Gervais St.

CAROLINE, OR CHANGE 8 p.m., $14 Workshop Theatre

HOROSCOPES

04/01/09

1234567890-=

A R IES Hanging out at home is a good place for you to come up with new inspirations. It frees your subconscious mind. TAU RUS

to help them make sound decisions. If you keep doing that, they’ll give you even more authority. It’s about to happen again.

V IRG O

Yo u ’r e under pressure, but you’ve got good support. Your basics are sound. You can resist and survive just about any calamit y that comes your way.

You r work should be very interesting n o w. T h e r e’s c e r t a i n l y plenty of it. Don’t discuss it with anyone but the people involved. Strict confidentiality is required.

GEMINI Get serious

LIBRA There seems to

about your career, make some radical moves. Don’t do it just for the fun of it; do it to make more money.

be a very attractive person in your life right now. Don’t toss your responsibilities and run away to a life of romance.

CANCER Others have SCORPIO been bossing you around, and you’ve been holding back. This is good. Keep doing it. You can get your point across in more subtle ways.

LEO

Others rely on you

If you can spend just a little more time and f ine-t une your plans somewhat, you’ll find they flow effortlessly. You will be able to tell when it’s time to act. Trust your intuition.

S AGI T TA R I US

You’d rather be playing. That won’t pay the rent. Do you have enough stashed away to take a vacation? If not, better get back to the office.

C A PR ICOR N You’re growing impatient and can’t understand the hassles you encounter. Why don’t they agree? Maybe you need to spend more time educating them.

AQUA R I US

St ay busy with a new assignment. You think you already know how this is going to turn out, but you don’t.

PISCES

You’d like to get going, but where? Don’t make a move until you decide. Ask an older person who has a better view of the whole situation.

ACROSS 1 John L. or Jerry Lee 6 Japanese wrestling 10 Prayer closer 14 Ward off 15 Jacob’s twin 16 Gilbert or Teasdale 17 Valet 19 Small piece 20 What summers do 21 Misery 22 Intrinsic nature 24 Isolate 27 Mitigate 28 Polite 30 Quid pro __ 33 Evil spirits 36 Feel poorly 37 Chance to play 38 Alda and Greenspan

04/01/09

for 03/31/09

39 Cinematic nightmare

2 Escape cleverly

street

3 George of “Cheers”

40 Test

4 April 15 org.

41 Called

5 Stovetop utensils

42 “William Wilson”

6 River to the Bristol

writer

Channel

43 Scantily

7 Cold War letters

44 Denouement

8 Lion’s hairdo

45 Seacows

9 Do better door-to-door

47 October gemstone

10 Dunderheads

49 Airs out

11 Display dummy

53 Wow!

12 Stoltz of “Mask”

56 Northern sea bird

13 Scruff

57 Costello or Gehrig

18 Reddish horses

58 Arabian leader

23 For instance

39 Very long period

52 Litigants

59 Handle

25 Mingled in with

40 Cushing/Lee horror

53 Make well

62 Five-star

26 Pekoe piece

film

54 Melville novel

63 Plenty

29 Crater edge

42 California

55 Corduroy rib

64 Metric unit

31 River to the Caspian

observatory peak

60 Drowse

65 Profit’s partner?

32 Simply

43 Prepare to drive a

61 Whopper

66 Cincinnati team

33 “Truth or __”

golf ball

67 Lascivious looks

34 Great flair

45 Bub

35 Instruments similar

46 Attributes

to lutes

48 Funeral piles

37 Actress Van Devere

50 Delight

DOWN 1 Actor Fernando

Solutions from 03/31/09

51 Observant one

PAGE 7

USC drops third non-SEC game Gamecocks unable to come back after Citadel takes early lead Sam Davis

STAFF WRITER

After an uplifting end to the Gamecocks’ road series against SEC foe Kentuck y, Carolina traveled to The Citadel where it was handed its third out-ofconference loss of the season, 12-5. Over the weekend, USC was able to capture a dramatic threegame series against the Wildcats and seemed to fi nally be gaining some moment um again. But after Carolina jumped out to a 1-0 lead in the top of the third inning on freshman outfielder Jackie Bradley Jr.’s RBI single, The Citadel responded emphatically in the bottom of that same inning. Freshman Matt Price coasted through the first two innings until he began to struggle with his accuracy at the start of the third inning. He would allow The Citadel to take a 4-1 lead until USC Coach Ray Tanner replaced him with sophomore Parker Bangs, who was able to get out of the inning. Price’s night was ended early a f t e r t wo a nd 2/ 3 i n n i n g s allowing four earned runs on three hits. Control was clearly h i s d ow n f a l l a s he w a l k e d t wo and hit a batter as well, contributing to his four-run third inning. The freshman was given the start after playing hero in last week’s 2-1 victory at Carolina Stadium over Georgia Southern. Price came on in relief early

on i n t he game a nd t hen t hrew seven strong innings, surrendering just three hits and a walk on no runs. Although he didn’t get the win, it was a huge factor in Tanner giving him the start. At the plate, the Gamecocks were never able to get a good run going until The Citadel had jumped ahead to a big a lead. Bradley had another solid game going 3-for-4 with a run and an RBI. With his RBI single in the third inning, he extended his hitting streak to 10 games. Scot t W i ngo homered i n the fifth inning to make it 4-2, but that was the closest USC would come to the Bulldogs. Wit h t hree r u ns separat ing t he t wo tea m s i n t he si x t h i n n i ng, The Cit adel t acked on three insurance runs with smart baserunning and clutch hitting. Nick Ebert added two RBI on a double in the seventh inning that scored Bradley along with sophomore out f ielder W h it Merrifield. When it was all said and done, Carolina was saddled with a frustrating loss that sets them back to 18-8 (4 -5 SEC) just as the team was gaining some ground in the conference. From here, Tanner and the squad host Alan Tauber / THE DAILY GAMECOCK the Furman Paladins. Less t han t wo week s ago, Second baseman Scott Wingo was one of the few bright spots in t he Gamecock s took on t he Paladins away from home and the game against The Citadel, hitting a homerun. won easily by a score of 15-0 off of what was a season high at the SEC, the Razorbacks will surely matchup as he decides between time, 22 hits. give the young Gamecock team sending out freshman southpaw A w i n a g a i n s t F u r m a n a test — so establishing some Adam Westmoreland or senior We d n e s d a y n i g ht i s m u c h moment um heading into the righty Jay Brown. First pitch is set for 7 p.m. needed w it h t he f i r st place weekend is necessary. Tanner will choose between A rkansas Razorbacks coming to Columbia on Friday for a having youth and experience on Comments on this story? E-mail three game series. At 8-1 in the the hill for Wednesday night’s [email protected]

Quarterbacks make strong showing at practice Performances of McCollum, Garcia give Spurrier hope for next season Jonathan Battaglia

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

The Gamecocks hit the field for the ninth time this spring at the Bluff Road practice fields Tuesday evening. Quaterbacks Reid McCollum and Stephen Garcia saw most of the action in 7-7 drills, both making their share of mistakes. Head coach Steve Spurrier said the whole team worked hard, but still has things to work on. “Reid McCollum and Stephen got a lot of throws in,” Spurrier said. “We got a little extra running in. We had some tired Gamecocks after spring practice tonight. We need to do that about every practice. So anyways, a lot of errors, mistakes but decent effort tonight.” Spurrier said he’s been impressed with the progress of McCollum, a redshirt f resh ma n f rom Su m mer v il le. The 6-foot-3-inch signal caller is the likely back-up to sophomore quarterback Stephen Garcia. “Reid can throw the ball very well when he gets his feet set and he’s not off balance. He’s aimed a few high ones there tonight also,” Spurrier said. “He’s got a chance to be a really good passer. With a little work, a little jump rope, ball position, foot work — all that kind of stuff and of course he doesn’t know where to throw it yet but if he learns how to play he’s got a chance to be a good one.” In his fifth year at USC, Spurrier said he’s hopeful about the potential

of the Gamecocks this season, but not satisfied with the progress they’ve made, especially against SEC opponents. “They’ve got to want it. We can’t force a horse to drink water, they’ve got to want it,” Spurrier said. “I know we’ve got a lot of guys who want it. Want to be the best we can be. But not sure we’ve got a high percentage yet. Hadn’t showed up since I’ve been here yet. We’ll send a few letters out to those that don’t play with great effort. We’ve got to get the message out, that kind of stuff. It’s not bad it’s just not where we need to be to beat LSU, Alabama, Georgia and those guys. We’ve got to get better effort.” The G amecock s w ill play in their third scrimmage of the spring Saturday at Williams-Brice Stadium. Spurrier said he hopes to see a better performance from the offense than last Friday, when the defense dominated the scrimmage. “Last scrimmage they got their butts kicked pretty good,” Spurrier said. “So hopefully it won’t be like that in the next one.” The Gamecocks will take the field next at the Bluff Road practice fields on Friday at 3:45 p.m.

Alan Tauber / THE DAILY GAMECOCK

Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected]

Quarterbacks Reid McCullom, left, and Seth Strickland stretch before Tuesday’s practice.

Calipari moves to Lexington Another legendary SEC coach means big trouble, increased competition for Gamecock basketball On Tuesday night, SEC basketball welcomed another big market name to its family of coaches. Legendary Coach John Calipari of the Memphis Tigers decided to accept the lucrative offer he received from Kentucky and join the likes of Billy Donovan, Bruce Pearl, Darrin Horn and others — quite a surrou nding cast in comparison with his current league, Conference USA, commonly disrespected as an undeserving, lesser conference. W it h C a l ip a r i’s ac c e p t a nc e of the eight-year, $35 million offer, he becomes the highest paid coach in NCAA basketball. T h e r e ’s n o t m u c h quest ion as to why t he W i ldc at s of f e r e d Calipari such a rewarding proposal — he’s certainly p u t t o g e t h e r q u it e a resume over the years. After 16 years as a college SAM DAVIS basketball coach, Calipari First-year has built a record of 412- print 136. At Memphis, where Journalism he’s been for the last eight student years, he boasted an even fi ner record of 219-65. Bet ween h is t i me at University of Massachusetts, where he began his career, to Memphis, which is where he sits now, he’s captured nine conference titles and made 10 trips to the NCA A Tournament. Five times, he’s advanced to the Elite 8 or further, but he’s never won a championship. S a nd w ic he d b et we e n h i s e ig ht years at UMass and his eight years at Memphis is a three-year stint in the NBA with the New Jersey Nets. There, he took a seemingly hopeless Nets team to the NBA Playoffs after they won just 26 games the year before. I n each of t he pa st 14 sea sons, Calipari has won at least 20 games. But John Calipari’s value as a coach can be seen in so many places outside of the record books. Since the proposal, fans have been gathering outside of the coach’s home, pleading for him to stay. Signs are being held that read “STAY CAL!” and “Please Don’t Go Memphis Needs You.” Mea nwh i le, i n Lex i ng ton, f a n s were tr ying to lure Calipari to the squad. A Facebook group promoting Calipari’s potential arrival had drawn more than 16,000 members by Tuesday afternoon. Kent uck y needs a n elec t r ic, intensifying coach similar to what Rick Pitino brought to the club until he left in 1997. Since his departure, Kentucky hasn’t been the same, but the bluegrass state thinks Calipari can change that. As for Carolina, facing Kentucky twice a year with Calipari at the helm will undoubtedly present a daunting task — and after a rare season sweep of the Wildcats as we move up in the ranks of the SEC East, that’s one of the last things we need. T h at s a id , r e e l i n g i n a n o t h e r legendary coach to the gang will do great for the somewhat lightly regarded Southeastern Conference that has lost some respect in the last couple of years. It’s great for everyone involved with SEC Basketball that Calipari saw the benefit of joining a major conference with national exposure. I, for one, will open my arms to John Calipari as he becomes a part of the SEC, as it is a pleasure for us to welcome a hall of fame coach into our conference.

The Daily Gamecock ● WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

PAGE 10

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FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2009

theNIX

Bay recognized for epic films Use of various explosions, eruptions, end-of-Earth scenarios garner hippie award

PAGE XI

Welcome to America: Land of the Free ... gans

Dumpster diving, raw food key to survival in tough economic times

Jimmy Gilmore FILM SNOB

On March 23, Variety announced legend a r y d i re c tor/pro duc er Michael Bay will finally receive some long-overdue recognition at this year’s ShoWest conference. Yes, the hippest group of theater exhibitors, the Academy of Movie Distribution, if you will, chose the esteemed action fi lmmaker to receive their 2009 Vanguard Award for his contributions to film. Frankly, it’s about time. An MTV Movie Award is just not enough. Ever since his 1995 debut “Bad Boys,” Bay has been an explosive, unstoppable force. So unstoppable, he even made “Bad Boys II.” That’s the one where Will Smith has cars thrown at him. Bay’s career, however, reaches deeper than these penetrating films on complicated race relations in the detective world. Just watch 1998’s “Armageddon,” one of the most purely patriotic movies of the last 20 years. Nothing says America more than a wailing Aerosmith ballad atop Bruce Willis’s most versatile performance. Okay, second to “The Fifth Element.” The story of ordinary oil drillers taking on a monstrous hunk of rock for the sake of mankind may seem outright ridiculous, but that senseless label discounts the poetry of Bay’s explosions. Beneath every falling building is a beating heart, one that reverberates against the beautiful relationship of man to his government. It’s a film where the hierarchies of society are shamelessly bridged to celebrate Earth and the eternal struggle to keep it from blowing up. “Armageddon” would even be instantly included in the Criterion C ol le c t ion , t he p a nt heon of prestigious DVD libraries.

“I liked ‘Armageddon.’” — Everyone not named “Jimmy Gilmore”

Marin Mueller

ENVIRONMENTAL WARRIOR PRINCESS

Shamelessly stolen from Tech. Sgt. Larry A. Simmons

Movie Director Michael Bay gives instuctions to airmen filling the roles of extras on the set of the movie Transformers. Cy n ics declare h im a ch ild In 2001 Bay finally let loose the cavalcade of emotions brewing o b s e s s e d w i t h t h e e n d l e s s under his pores for his masterpiece, possibilities of explosions, but it’s “Pearl Harbor.” With a relentless hard to deny his intense detail and reconst r uct ion of histor y and immense variety. Since 2003, Bay has taken to the triumphant performances from stars Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck, producer’s chair, jumpstarting the “Pearl Harbor” both stirred the failing American horror genre. How soul and reduced grown men to did he do it? Making the greatest horror films of all time even better. sobbing tears. From “The Texas Chainsaw Watching the film again, it feels like getting a big, three-hour hug M a s s a c r e ” t o t h e r e c e n t l y announced “A Nightmare on Elm from the American flag. Most of Bay ’s fa ns ha il h is Street,” his sure hand as producer “Transformers” as an astounding has revived our innermost fears, science-fiction accomplishment, digging up supposedly dead icons and its narrative of shaky robot for a fresh, blood-drenched look. No one is u si ng ci nema to relat ions does prov ide one of the more probing discussions of create a powerful, fantastic and America’s post-9/11 foreign policy simultaneously realistic synthesis of American popular thought more issues. Ho w e v e r, d e v o t e e s o f t h e than Michael Bay. T h a n k y o u , S h oWe s t f o r director’s oeuvre do not forget his 2005 foray into sci-fi, “The Island.” recognizing the brave leadership With Ewan McGregor and Scarlett of M ichael Bay as a ma n, a n Johansson, Bay took on the entire ideology and a member of cinema’s ethical system of harvested beings, Vanguard. questioning the very notion of utopian possibilities while boldly Comments on this story? E-mail [email protected] asserting the need for civil rights.

W ho doesn’t love PETA? If you were ever a doubter of these compassionate defenders of all that is just in this world, their most recent campaigns surely convinced you otherwise. I know that I personally am going to boycott Ben & Jerry’s until they stop the cruelty of using cow’s milk in their ice cream. Simply becoming an active member of PETA isn’t enough. In the age of climate change and Al Gore, going vegan is equivalent to wussing out. While your friends feast at Chicken Finger Wednesdays, you can change your consumption style to know you’re not only making a positive impact on the world — you’re also eating food unlike anything you’ve ever tasted. Stop trying to convince yourself that turning out your lights and recycling are actually making a difference. If you really want to make a change, go freegan. These environmental warriors are willing to do whatever it takes to reduce the amount of waste our communities put into landf ills, and as such, they forage, scavenge and even go dumpster diving to fi nd their dayto-day necessities. Why would you go grocery shopping when every day the stores throw away perfectly good food? A little bit of mold never hurt anyone, and produce tastes best when its covered in a layer of slime. The beauty of freeganism is that it’s not only a wise environmental choice — it’s economical, too. During a recession, we all have to cut back on our spending, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find some great stuff that’s new to us. The clothes that Goodwill thinks are

too tattered to be resold? They’re perfect for you. If Zoolander taught us anything, it’s that the derelict look is so hot right now. And don’t even think about washing your new finds before wearing them. Washing machines are a total waste of energy when everyone knows that the scent of sweaty socks is better than any perfume. So you’re not tough enough to be a freegan? There’s another energysaving alternative in the form of raw food. Traditional raw foodists don’t eat anything cooked above 120 degrees Fahrenheit, and generally consume only a plant-based diet. But in an age of global-warming and greenhouse gases, it’s time to take things to the next level. That’s right, we’ve entered the age of raw food freeganism. The discarded steaks from the grocery store that are mere days past their safe consumption date? Sounds like steak tartare to me! After all, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. (And getting mad cow disease wouldn’t be so bad — it’ll make a great story to tell at parties.) Raw eggs are a great way to get protein, but as a freegan you’ll probably only find the shells — but since when is that a problem? Sounds like a great way to strengthen your teeth. Now is, in fact, the perfect time to become a freegan. Right around May 1, you’ll have all the slightly putrid Easter eggs you can stand, and even though they’re not technically raw, we’re all guilty of indulging during the holidays. Raw food freeganism is the diet of the future. I’ll be teaming up with ELF (the Earth Liberation Front), and we won’t rest until Russell House’s Thursday morning barelyspoiled raw tofu smoothies are the new Chicken Finger Wednesday. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some dumpsters to dive into. Comments on this stor y? E -mail [email protected]

SUDOKU EXPLOSION: We know what you really want

“Because there’s always next year.” 1969 ACC CHAMPS!!!!!!!!!!! !!

Horn and Odom pull a switcharoo Darrin Horn bails on USC for bluer pastures

Chris “The Foxy” Coxy

Jake “the Dank Snake” Luce

SUPER SEXY SPORTS EDITOR

BECAUSE HE’S JUST BETTER THAN YOU

After one relatively impressive season with the Gamecocks, first-year coach Darrin Horn has decided to return home to fulfill his lifelong dream of coaching the Kentucky Wildcats. With the recent coaching vacancy for Kentuck y, most a n a l y s t s h a v e c o n s id e r e d Memphis’ coach John Calipari as a suitable replacement after the recently fired Billie Gillispie failed to get his team to the NCAA tournament. Almost exactly one year from today, South Carolina introduced Darrin Horn as the new face of Gamecocks basketball, but it appears to have been a year-long April Fools joke by Horn. “I really can’t say enough about what this University has done for me and my family,” coach Horn said in an early morning press conference. “But this is coming from a guy who grew up in Kentucky — my roots are just implanted there.” Horn went to Tates Creek High School in Lexington, Ky., but he never really had the talent to be recruited to play or coach for the prestigious college. Horn had to leave the state and earn his respect elsewhere in the nation just to prove to the university that he really was good enough. “I mu st have appl ied 10 times for the assistant coach job at Kentucky but I never made it past the first round of interviews,” Horn said. “After doing what I did here at South Carolina I am one of the hottest coaches and can finally land my dream job.” It appears as t hough t he University of Kentucky athletic department didn’t believe Horn could handle the transition from leading a mid-major team to competing in the SEC on a daily basis. Obviously, the Wildcats thought he did a pretty good job fighting for an SEC East title. Horn seemed to be planning this all season long as he knew that every win the Gamecocks

Odom returns to USC, Garnet Army surrenders

Hot for Damon / maaaaat daaaamon

USC coach Darrin Horn holds a press conference to discuss the Bourne Identity. could muster of the Wildcats would put him one step closer to taking over the prestigious program. “We told Darrin, before he took the South Carolina job, that if he could prove that he could win consistently in the SEC we would consider him,” Kentuck y Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart said. “We didn’t expect him to beat us twice in one season but it just shows how ready he is for the Kentucky job.” Gamecock fans were obviously disappointed when they heard the news as season ticket sales have dropped dramatically. The Colonial Life Arena ticket office expect attendance to drop back to historic lows, and the women of Columbia will no longer attend games as they were only there to watch the handsome Horn roam the court. The team’s leading scorer, Devan Downey, seemed to know that this decision was coming as he had already been in talks w it h Steve Spu r r ier about transitioning to the gridiron for his final season. “Coach Hor n was rea l ly all that I played for,” Downey said. “Once I heard he wasn’t coaching anymore, I decided that I could never trust anyone on the basketball court, that’s why I’ve made the switch to football.”

He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaack. W it h t he u nex pec ted news that USC basketball coach Darrin Horn will accept an offer to become t he nex t head coach of t he Kent uck y Wildcats, Carolina Athletics Director Eric Hy man announced today t hat for mer head man Dave Odom will be ret u r n i ng to coach t he Alex Riley / THE REAL SPORTS EDITOR Gamecocks after a one-year hiatus. No seriously, pull my freakin “ W e a r e c e r t a i n l y finger! It’ll be great!!!!! somewhat thrilled to have coach Odom returning to lead our program,” Hyman said. “Because, let’s face it, said in a news release. “Dave nothing beats mediocrity.” T he a n nou ncement of has done wonderful things for our school and we look O dom’s ret u r n b eg a n a forward to being back in the s now b a l l e f f e c t f or t he Gamecock squad as a whole. NIT very soon.” Odom, who previously led Following point guard Devan the Gamecocks from 2002- Downey’s announcement 20 08, ret u r ns fol low i ng that he will suit up strictly a o ne -y e a r s t i nt a s t he for the football team, Odom ba sketba l l coac h of t he announced that former USC Summer Wood Butterflies- a greats Ousmane Konate and Winston-Salem, N.C.-based Keving Palacios will return Elementary School which is to finish out their eligibility. O dom s a id he i s a l s o competing in its first ever determined to make sure season of basketball. The Butterf lies finished things turn out differently t ha n h is f i r st st i nt i n 1-24 last season. “The University of South Columbia. Often criticized Carolina is my home,” Odom for his lack of dedicated said via telephone. “I know recruiting, the former Wake the Gamecock faithful aren’t Forest coach has already big supporters of my work, begun to hit the trail hard but we can all agree that I’m before t he st a r t of nex t season. a super nice guy.” “I have already scheduled Odom led the Gamecocks to three NIT championship in-home visits with some games while winning the of t he a rea’s be st f if t htournament in back-to-back grade basketball players,” seasons in 2005 and 2006. Odom said. “Those little USC qualified for the NCAA whippersnappers may be Tournament only once — a below four feet tall, but they 2003 shellacking at the hands sure look like they could be valuable centers for our team of the Memphis Tigers. “With my basketball skills next season.” Odom scratched his head returning to the sidelines of the Colonial Life Arena, when informed that 10-yearI’m certain that we can get olds were ineligible to play in our team back to Madison collegiate sports. Square Garden to compete for the NIT title,” Odom

James “Jersey” Kratch STAFF YANKEE

In the wee hours of National Signing Day morning this past month, Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin, in a last-second attempt to secure the commitment of prized Calhoun County High School recruit Alshon Jeffrey, and prevent him from signing with USC, told him that he would end up “pumping gas” for the rest of his life like all the other South Carolina players t hat had st ayed home a nd become Gamecocks. In t he end, K if f in wasn’t successf ul in conv incing Jeffrey, and as it turns out, he unwillingly helped out the blue chip prospect. Citing a desire to capitalize on the connection and to enhance their marketing and popularity amongst college football fans, ExxonMobil announced Tuesday that they have signed Jeffrey to an endorsement deal, making h i m t he of f icia l cor porate spokesman. “Obv iou sly, af ter Coach K i f f i n op ened h is mout h , Alshon’s name instantly became connected with the gasoline business, and it was a no-brainer for us,” said ExxonMobil CEO

Senior set to play quarterback, Garcia to provide backup Sam “Frat-tastic” Davis MOUNTAIN WEEKEND!!!

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USC football commitment Alshon Jeffrey thanks Tennessee coach Lane Kiffen for his contribution to his newfound stardom. “A s l o n g a s [ J e f f r e y ] doesn’t have his endorsement responsibilities coming before class and learning some ball plays, its okay with me,” said USC coach Steve Spurrier. “Only thing’s got me worried is that I heard [USC quarterback Stephen] Garcia wants to go get a deal with El Cheapo now, and, uh, I’m not sure if I’m okay with that one.” Kiffin was candid when asked for comment. “Alright guys, I said it. I admit it. I’m glad the kid’s getting some pizza money out of it, and

Downey declared starter for USC on football team

it keeps the Tennessee name out there — good advertising, you know. But I guess they’ve got those rules that mostly everything else a kid can’t hawk,” Kiffin said. “If those rules didn’t exist, a lot more recruits I told stuff to would be getting deals. The kid who I told if he went to Clemson, he’d be forced to have an unnatural encounter with a cow, I mean, can you say Chick-Fil-A?”

Recruit lands endorsement deal with Exxon Roger Johansson. “I’m just t r y ing to make a positive out of a negative,” Jeffrey said. “I mean, to take this situation and have some good come out of it, that’s great.” Normally, NCAA regulations would make it impossible for a student-athlete to have an endorsement deal and retain his amateur status. However, Jeffrey’s situation is perfectly legal per NCA A bylaws, as a loophole allows it. Sect ion 85N, A rt icle 67F of the NCA A’s guidelines on st udent- at h lete el ig ibi l it y specifically mentions all products that athletes are forbidden from endorsing, however, there is no mention of fossil fuels in the guidelines, allowing Jeffrey’s deal to move forward. “It appears that, yes, Jeffrey’s deal is within our bylaws,” said NCAA President Myles Brand. “Somehow, yes, it is allowable.” Jeffrey’s deal was a major point of discussion both in the USC Athletic Department offices and on the practice field as the Gamecocks completed another night of spring practice Tuesday night. “A f ter d isc u s sion s [w it h Ex xon Mobil], we have been assured that Alshon will wear Under A r mou r appa rel i n whatever com mercials, ads and other ventures he may be involved with for them, so it’s all okay with us,” said USC athletic director Eric Hyman.

Senior quarterback Devan Downey receives a playcall from USC coach Steve Spurrier.

The Carolina Gamecocks are back on the football field as spring practice is now in full swing. After a decent year spoiled by a sour ending to the season, USC’s main concern must be the quarterback position for the 2009-2010 season. But after Monday’s practice, USC coach Steve Spurrier thinks he’s found the solution. “We threw Devan Downey in there for a few reps behind center, just to see what he could do,” Spurrier said. “He looked pretty good out there. He can run around a lot back there and he can do some really good things for us. I’d say he’s probably ahead of the bunch at this point.” Downey, more known for his outstanding performance on the hardwood floor than on grass, guided the Gamecock basketball team to a successful season by leading the team in points, assists and steals. After the Gamecocks finished with a 21-10 record and were controversially left out of the NCAA Tournament, Downey had too much passion left to sit through an entire offseason. “I’m a compet it ive g uy. I was a lso a quarterback in high school, and can run a 4.1 40-yard dash,” said the guard from Chester. “That’s three reasons right there that got me out to the practice fields, and I’m glad I did.” At 5-feet-9-inches and 175 pounds, the guardturned-quarterback may run into some problems playing in the SEC, where most teams sport a front seven, in which each player outweighs Downey by about 100 pounds or more. We know he’s slippery on the basketball court as he led the SEC in steals this season for a second-consecutive year. The Gamecocks are hoping he’ll be able to slip through the arms of some defenders on the football field because a threatening offensive attack for the Gamecocks would go nicely with their nationally-recognized defensive unit. There also seems to be another potential problem with Downey’s height. “We got some big guys on that offensive line,” Spurrier said. “Sometimes it’s hard for the little guy to see the field over all them giants. That’s something we need to figure out, because he’ll have to see his receivers sometimes. He’s not just going to be running wild every play.” With the versatile Downey at quarterback, Spurrier is presented with several options on how to run his offense. Obviously, Downey can run out of the pocket and create room for himself. But how strong are his throwing skills? The player and coach don’t quite see eye to eye on this topic. “I got an arm, man. I can throw on the run, and I can throw the deep ball,” Downey said. “I can make it rain out here if ya’ll want me to.” Spurrier wasn’t so sure. “He still needs a little work. He can throw the hitch pattern real well, and he can hit his slants,” Spurrier said. “But he can’t get it too deep, so that’s something we’ll have to work on. It’s a long way until the season.” Ultimately, Downey admits that basketball is what his mind is permanently fi xed on, and that he’s hoping his time on the football team will sharpen his abilities on the basketball court. Perhaps football will leave the guard with some added strength and toughness that will propel the Gamecocks to a run in the NCAA Tournament for Downey’s senior year. “I love football, but my future is in basketball. I’m going to give it all I got for Coach, but in the end I’m hoping my basketball game will reap the benefits,” Downey said. “I got one more year here, and I really want to do some damage in the tournament as a gift back to this university.”

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Kiffen’s comments on gas pumping bring new fame to wide receiver

Who else but Juan Blas? / THE DAILY GAMECOCK