“The Aspergers Fast Track Special Report”
By Dave Angel
This special report features some of my most recent writing about Aspergers.
And as usual it is made up of a question and answer style report – where I answer the questions sent into me by a variety of parents of children with Aspergers.
I hope that you enjoy and benefit from the information in this report.
Thanks for reading,
Dave Angel
Article One - Where can we go for help with social skills training for our teenager with Aspergers?
Most people do not realize it, but everyone needs social skills training. Asperger‟s Syndrome robs individuals of the natural ability to relate, however, the desire is intact. As babies and young children, humans have the natural desire to relate and interact with others. Over time, we learn how through social skills training. Most people just call it socialization.
As we get older, it becomes easier to tell when a person is lacking in social skills training. Asperger‟s teens will have difficulty making and keeping friends, working in a peer group, and moving on to success in the real world without these social skills. The biggest obstacle is not the teen with Asperger‟s Syndrome. Most teens do have the desire, but lack the knowledge. The single biggest obstacle is appropriate opportunity.
Many schools and private medical institutions offer social skills training. Asperger‟s teens that have access to these training groups and classes are at an advantage. However, these services are costly and often out of reach for families dealing with Autism. Here are some ideas that may help you find social skills training for your teen with Asperger‟s Syndrome.
Your first resource is your teen‟s school. Meet with the special education coordinator to discuss possible social skills training. While there may not be a true social skills therapy available, they may be able to accommodate his need in other ways.
Contact your local Autism support organization. Many times members of these groups pool their knowledge and experience to form therapy groups and classes within the membership.
Talk with your teen‟s doctors about possible private therapy. With a doctor‟s referral, you may find just what your teen needs at a reasonable expense.
You may choose to forego formal therapy and opt for do-it-yourself social skills training. By giving your teen plenty of social opportunities, you can enhance his social skills. Clubs, groups, church youth activities, and recreational sports are all fine opportunities to learn social skills. Use specific instances and happenings to teach your teen how to handle different social situations.
There are many published works for home therapy. An online search or local library search can lead to the perfect resource for you and your teen.
Due to lack of insurance coverage for crucial Autism therapies, it can be a challenge to find appropriate social skills training. Asperger‟s teens can work on social skills in many ways without formal therapy. By focusing on your teen‟s special interests, you can increase his confidence while finding opportunities for socialization.
Article 2 - What are your thoughts on 'punishment/consequences' for deliberately oppositional behaviour; is it okay for example to send a child with Aspergers to his room or remove a privilege?
While no one can say that all children react in deliberate oppositional manner, the truth is that most kids do behave in ways, at times, that will shock, puzzle, or completely embarrass his parents. A child will behave in a manner that results in the most attention. Unfortunately, it does not matter if this attention is good or bad and the child may not even realize this. It only matters that it is totally focused attention. Children with Asperger‟s Syndrome are not exceptions.
With a child with Asperger‟s, it is important to discover the reasons for deliberate oppositional behavior. Appropriate behavior is partially learned and partially instinct. Your child may be using this behavior for its shock value. Learning the reasons behind the behavior can help you form a plan for discipline. Deliberate behaviors must be acknowledged and controlled and the child must learn new and acceptable behaviors. Here are some ways to accomplish this.
Know your child‟s stress inducers. Children are more likely to act out when overly stressed or frustrated. By avoiding certain situations, you can avoid the negative behavior.
Teach your child coping skills for activities and situations that cause him stress and frustration. One example would be removal. Teach your child to remove himself from a situation to a designate quiet
zone. This quiet zone should be available at home and at school.
Use visual aids to teach your child appropriate, expected behaviors and the consequences of oppositional behaviors. An „if, then‟ chart, an emotions chart, and a chart that show frustration levels may all be used to avoid problems at home and at school.
Home and classroom rules should be stated simply and concretely so the child knows exactly what is expected. In a similar manner, all expected behaviors and associated consequences and punishments should be clearly posted.
Punishments and consequences for your child with Asperger‟s Syndrome will usually need modifications from the typical choices used with typical children. It is also important that parents carefully balance true punishment with the committed offense to reduce the happenings. Redirection is one of the most common forms of correction for children with Autism. However, sending your child with Asperger‟s Syndrome to his room or removing a privilege are examples of appropriate punishments. As long as the punishment is fair and the rules and consequences were known before hand, appropriate punishment should follow. Loud voices, as well as corporal punishment, will produce confusion and anger. These should be avoided.
Article 3 - What do you do when all the suggested ways of dealing with misbehaviour (eg redirection, calm voice, direct instruction) don't work and you feel your child with Aspergers is "getting away with it"?
The truth is the suggested coping and teaching skills are not always an effective means for behavior control. It can be difficult to stand in the midst of misbehavior and remain calm-faced, with a controlled voice, and mildly redirect your errant child! Many a parent of children with Autism have questioned and wondered about the possibility of their children getting away with too much.
Disciplining a child with Autism is not easy.
Let‟s examine some issues that can cause misbehavior.
One indirect approach for dealing with misbehavior is to examine the child‟s social skills ability. Often, poor social skills will cause a child great frustration, and with this frustration comes poor choices and misbehavior. Social skills can be taught by using formal therapy sessions, play therapy, peer mentoring or buddies at school, or by using many of the resources available to parents on the Internet, at the Autism support organization, or at the local public library.
Some situations will cause misbehavior regardless of a child‟s social abilities. That is why coping skills are so important. Sometimes a child without coping skills can find himself in an awkward situation without the skills to manage it. Coping skills like deep breathing exercises, positive self-talk, and having an exit plan are basic, especially as children with Asperger‟s Syndrome get older.
A lack of knowledge regarding expectations can cause a child to misbehave. He must know what you expect of him. Any rules regarding specific behavior should be well known by all members of the family. Rules should be set, in writing, along with the expected consequences or punishments that result from failing to follow these rules.
There will be plenty of times when a calm voice, direct instruction, and redirection simply will not work, or possibly, may not be enough. A set of rules and consequences must be followed. By teaching your child that there will be “X” punishment whenever he breaks “Y” rule, you will also be teaching him your expectations. As a family, you can come up with a list of appropriate punishments for specific rules. The most common are the removal of privileges and time out. I personally consider corporal punishment to be an unacceptable punishment. Hitting and yelling can cause anger issues in children with Asperger‟s Syndrome, and physical assault is obviously illegal and unacceptable too.
Article 4 - Can you tell me about research on Amygdala and Aspergers.
A quick Internet search using the words Amygdala, Asperger‟s, and Autism, will bring up a multitude of information and research connecting brain growth and function with Asperger‟s Syndrome. The Amygdala is a small, almond-shaped area of the brain deep within the temporal lobe, that is involved in emotional response, memory, facial recognition, and the flight or fight response. All of these areas are affected in some way in individuals with Autism, so it is easy to see why so much research is being done on this region of the brain.
Some research compares the size of the Amygdala and the hippocampus. Asperger‟s individuals have been found to have a smaller Amygdala and larger hippocampus, although both are smaller than normal. People with Autism are found to have a larger Amygdala and smaller hippocampus than those with Asperger‟s Syndrome. Some studies cite this as the reasons behind the differences in the two conditions. The larger hippocampus means better cognitive ability, and the smaller Amygdala means less social/emotional ability. The opposite is true for those with Autism.
Other research compares the actual brain activity within the Amygdala. Asperger‟s individuals are believed to have increased activity in that area of the brain. Some studies show that this is the cause of social deficits rather than the actual size of the region. The theory is that this
hyperactivity causes the person to miss out on important information. The Amygdala is too busy to recognize all of the important information.
Back in 2006, The University of California, Davis published research that showed men with Autism have fewer neurons in the Amygdala. Asperger‟s individuals were not used in this study. This research study was the first to show an anatomical connection between Autism and the Amygdala. As time has passed, multitudes of research studies have ensued.
Eventually, all of these numerous studies focusing on brain development, the Amygdala, Asperger‟s, and Autism will come together and form a map that leads straight to beneficial treatments for those of us still waiting. The research in the area of the Amygdala over the past ten years has brought about fascinating information. Unfortunately, science takes time and patience. As parents of children affected by Autism and Asperger‟s Syndrome, the waiting is the hardest part.
Article 5 - What should my son with Aspergers do if he ever has to deal with the police?
Many social situations tend to be difficult for kids with Asperger‟s. Police interaction is one such situation. While police officers and first responders are trained to deal with unusual characters and situations, not many states have recognized the need for Autism-specific practices and training. Asperger‟s Syndrome brings into question everything that is taught regarding unusual characters.
To prepare your child for possible Asperger‟s police interaction, you can begin with the basics. Your child should know his address, phone number, and parents‟ names. Your child should also immediately disclose that he has a medical condition and should produce a medical ID. If your child does not have a medical ID, you can find them in most pharmacies, on the internet, or you can make your own ID wallet card. In addition, teach your child the following rules for dealing with police officers.
First, stay calm! Do not make sudden movements, attempt to run away, or get too close. Take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves.
Ask the officer kindly to contact the adult listed on your medical ID.
Politely remind the officer that you have Autism during any questioning.
All government officials should have some knowledge about Autism and Asperger‟s. Police officers must be informed on the best way to handle
interactions when they arise. As the parent of a child with Asperger‟s, you may be the best person to reach your local law enforcement agency with this information. Here are some tips to help you teach your local government about Asperger‟s Syndrome.
Use any open community meeting as an opportunity to reach individuals in law enforcement. Community festivals, parades, and sporting events are relaxed times you can use to provide handouts and leave business cards. Community networking can help you reach the right people.
Invite the mayor, police chief, or local police officers to a community Autism support group meeting. This will give local law enforcement a chance to meet and get to know families dealing with Autism.
Help your local government set up an Autism registry. This can be used to alert first responders when they are called to a home affected by Autism or Asperger‟s Syndrome.
Supply details on how first responders should handle a person with Autism. A printed brochure or laminated flyer with suggested responses can be placed in every squad car and fire truck. Some suggested references might be no slang or sarcasm, simple, one-step directions, extra time for consideration, do not touch, and call the parents immediately.
Parents must deliberately educate their child when it comes to Asperger‟s police interaction. Knowing what to say and do can mean a huge difference in what could be a very sticky situation.
Article 6 - How do I get my 6 year old daughter with Aspergers Syndrome to want to go to school?
For children with Asperger‟s Syndrome, school can be a very negative environment. Children can be callous; any outward signs of being different will draw unwanted attention. Not wanting to go to school is a very common complaint among children with Asperger‟s Syndrome.
It is very important that you discover the exact reasons for your child with Asperger‟s Syndrome school hesitation. Once you determine the exact cause of the problem, you can begin to correct the negative situation. Here are some thoughts that may help you solve your daughter‟s school problems.
Is it boredom? Average or higher than average intelligence is a common characteristic of Asperger‟s Syndrome. School administrators may assume that your daughter needs simplified lessons when in fact she may need simplified instruction. These are two very different concepts. If your daughter is very smart, she may find school too easy and too easy means boredom. Additional testing and discussion with the school‟s special education department may help.
Is there a learning disability? It is also common for children with Asperger‟s to have some difficulty learning in some areas.
For
instance, your daughter may be years ahead in math ability while struggling to get the basics of reading. She may need special education services like resource reading classes. At the same time,
she may qualify for gifted classes in math. Once again, additional testing and discussion may make a difference.
Is it teaching style? Some teachers are better equipped to handle children with Asperger‟s Syndrome than other teachers are. Some have had students in the past, some have had additional training, and others are just better suited due to personality. If your daughter makes statements specifically about her teacher, switching to another class may be the answer.
Is it social awkwardness? Poor social skills such as poor social communication, not understanding personal space, gestures, and social cues, and failed attempts at social interaction with her peers can make your daughter miserable during the school day. Social skills training and peer mentoring can help your daughter find her place among her classmates.
Is it the atmosphere? Sensory issues can overwhelm your daughter, causing the classroom and the cafeteria to become scary and uncomfortable. The sights, smells, and sounds can actually be painful. A sensory profile can be created by the school‟s occupational therapist. This profile can be used to create a sensory diet (a series of exercises and activities) that can help your daughter remain calm in sensory loaded situations.
Is it fear? Kids can be cruel. Virtually all children with Asperger‟s Syndrome experience bullying. Most schools have a no bullying policy, but they have to know about the bullying before anything can be done. Teach your daughter that bullying is unacceptable and ask her teacher to watch for signs of bullying.
It is possible for kids to find enjoyment in Asperger‟s Syndrome school situations. With these tips, you are sure to discover the cause of your daughter‟s unhappiness.
Article 7 - How can I help my child with Aspergers identify his triggers?
Most children and families who deal with Asperger‟s triggers will benefit from knowing the exact reasons for these triggers. These triggers disrupt family life and school days. They can cause the child, his teacher, his classmates, and his family much unwanted angst. They can cause much anxiety and interfere with the child‟s personal development. They can also affect how others perceive him.
What are Asperger‟s triggers? They are activities, feelings, words, and situations that cause a child with Asperger‟s Syndrome to break down. They create fury, upset, meltdowns, and overall bad behavior. Knowing your child‟s specific triggers can increase your ability to help your child. In turn, you can teach your child the signs so he can maintain control.
The symptoms and characteristics of this condition actually contribute to Asperger‟s triggers.
Some triggers are specific to the individual child, but
most of them are directly related to Asperger‟s Syndrome. For example, your child may totally lose it if a certain song comes on the radio. To say he hates the song is an understatement. It sends him into a frenzied, demanding mess, screaming and throwing things at the stereo. However, the actual trigger is the sensory input created by that particular song--it is too much for his system. Here are some examples of possible triggers and how they relate to your child.
Sensory issues in the form of smells, lights, sounds, and touch can be meltdown triggers. Teach your child to be aware of smells he cannot tolerate, blinking or bright lights that distract his thinking, and soft or loud noises that annoy him. Some kids are bothered by high-pitched hums while others cannot tolerate two or more people talking at once. Very light touch may bother your child, where someone else cannot handle rough and tumble.
Poor social skills can also be a trigger. Does it bother your child that he does not get a joke or has trouble with sarcasm? This may embarrass him in a group of peers. Help him learn social communication through speech, practice, and reading books.
Inflexibility from the lack of routine or a set schedule is extremely frustrating for kids with Asperger‟s. If the daily routine is malfunctioning or his school schedule is changed mid-year, these events can definitely trigger negative behaviors. Visual schedules may help, along with careful planning on the teacher‟s part.
It will take some time to relate actual daily events to your child‟s Asperger‟s triggers. Once he has a good idea of what it is that is causing his problems, he could make a list of these triggers and share them with his teacher. Knowing the triggers, the teacher, your child, and your family can all work together to help your child remain calm in these situations.
Article 8 - How can I help my child with Aspergers control his negative behaviors (besides deep breathing) once they have started?
For many kids with Asperger‟s, behaviors that leave a negative impact are common. Outbursts, meltdowns, and other negative behaviors interfere with daily life causing problems at school and at home. The best way to control these negative behaviors is to understand what triggers them in the first place.
It is possible to teach self-control techniques to your child with Asperger‟s. Behaviors can be controlled, or at least re-routed into something a bit more constructive, with practice. Learning how to control negative behaviors will boost your child‟s self-esteem. Here are some ideas for you to try.
Sensory input activities are often used to calm small children with Autism. The same idea can be translated for use with older children and teens. Deep pressure massage and joint compressions will call for a helping hand, but other heavy exercises like jumping, running, walking, and push-ups can be done nearly anywhere.
Positive self-talk and positive outside reinforcement can derail negative behaviors. Concrete rewards for good behavior may also help keep the child focused on maintaining a neutral presence.
In some cases, medications such as anti-anxiety drugs and mood stabilizers are used to control negative behaviors. These drugs are not
considered a cure and cannot always be taken long-term. You can discuss possible medication therapy with your child‟s physician.
In extreme cases, a type of aversion therapy may be effective. Aversion therapy is controversial, but in mild form could do the trick. An example of aversion therapy is spraying water on someone during a tantrum. While drastic, some extreme cases of negative behaviors call for drastic tactics.
While a child can be taught to control negative Asperger‟s behaviors, the best scenario proves to be a team consisting of the child, the parents, and the teachers, all working together to find the answers for this particular child. Together you can develop a workable plan that can be used successfully by the child at school and at home. This plan should include behavioral therapy activities, praise, rules, and consequences. It may be necessary to re-evaluate the child to discover possible changes in medical and educational needs.
Article 9 - How do you make a teenager with Aspergers more tolerant of young children? He has a set of non-negotiable rules that everyone else needs to abide by.
Children are complicated little beings in the eyes of a teenager. Asperger‟s Syndrome can cause a teen to be more intolerant of children than usual. Some teens with Asperger‟s Syndrome make great babysitters, loving to spend time with little children. Others would prefer to keep their distance. A lot of this behavior is normal, personal preference, while some of it could be directly related to Asperger‟s Syndrome.
Your teenager with Asperger‟s may have very good reasons for avoiding young children. Young children are very unpredictable and your teen thrives on predictability. This is just one issue that may apply. Here are a few additional possibilities for your consideration.
Young children can easily be an assault to the sensory system. In your teen‟s eyes, children can be loud, touchy-feely, smelly, little people who invade his personal space. When you look at it this way, you can understand why your teen prefers to avoid them.
Little children are not good at following the rules. Your teen thrives on set rules and has a hard time understanding people who consistently break the rules.
Young children are often very social. They ask many questions and tend to invade an individual‟s personal space. Since social situations
are not your teen‟s forte, this behavior is uncomfortable, to say the least.
Discuss these possible intolerances with your teenager. Asperger‟s may play a part in his reasoning. However, some teenagers are just not comfortable with children. Once you discover the reasons behind your teen‟s behavior, you can work on possible solutions to the problem. It may be necessary to create a set of specific rules for your teenager. For example, he may need a reminder card that lists your expectations when dealing with young children. A reminder card list of rules may look like this:
1. Be polite. 2. Be attentive. 3. Answer questions. 4. Play a short game. 5. Remember to smile!
On the back of the card, you might write a note that reminds him that he should give a small amount of time and attention and then he can make an exit.
Be mindful that your teenager with Asperger‟s deserves your respect on this issue. Compromise may be the best way to end this struggle.
Article 10 - Are there any good reasons to seek integration back into the school system if Distance education is effective at gaining the qualifications but very poor at social skill development. Is it better to be happy and productive but socially avoidant in your teens?
School can be extremely complicated for a teen with Asperger‟s Syndrome. High school is so much more than academics. High school includes the areas of social development, physical development, and extracurricular interests, just to name a few. A well-rounded high school graduate will have a variety of academic achievements, social and extracurricular club and group memberships, physical fitness interests, and volunteer accomplishments. However, no teenager is perfectly wellrounded.
When a teen with Asperger‟s Syndrome excels in academics but struggles with social weaknesses, physical awkwardness, and inflexible thinking, the chances of having a well-rounded and enjoyable high school experience are greatly diminished. If your teenager with Asperger‟s finds distance education enjoyable and is happy and productive, it is difficult to suggest changing to an environment that is likely to be a negative experience.
The truth is that social skills, physical fitness, volunteerism, and extracurricular activities can all be developed outside of the local public high school. Homeschoolers have been doing it for years. It will take extra planning and effort and in some cases, money. Here are some ideas
to help you cover the areas of high school that fall outside of the realm of your distance education institution.
Contact your local Autism support organization for social skills training group information, sports opportunities, and volunteer opportunities.
Your local parks and recreation department can be a source of team sports, volunteer opportunities, and social communication practice.
Your city‟s community center may have information on special interest clubs and groups that meet at the center, as well as volunteer opportunities.
Contact the continuing education department of the local college or university for fun extracurricular ideas. Most continuing education departments offer classes in foreign languages, art classes, cooking classes, and much more. While no credit is offered for high school students, this type of learning is the perfect balance to the distance education academics.
The responsibility of a part-time job may be just what your teen is looking for. Besides the job experience, he will learn valuable lessons in money management, time management, and employer expectations, not to mention the actual work he may be doing.
Distance education is a great option for your teen with Asperger‟s Syndrome as long as the efforts are made to round out his development and personal interests. If distance education is working well academically, why change it?
