Stop postpartum depression…

Stop prepartum depression: Stay sane in this gigantic body

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Stop postpartum depression…

i-Magine Marketing 451 Ste-Julie Notre-Dame-des-Prairies, Québec, Canada J6E 0N3

LESAGE, Julie STOP PREPARTUM DEPRESSION: Stay sane in this gigantic body First edition ISBN 978-1-63068-486-0

CopyrightAll Rights Reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission from publisher or author.

Cover by – i-Magine Marketing Translated from French by Julie Lesage

Distributed in Canada: LULU Publishing Raleigh, (NC,) USA

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JULIE LESAGE

Stop prepartum depression: Stay sane in this gigantic body

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To my three test subjects: Alexane, Kamilee Juliet 

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Contents First of all... ........................................................................................ 10 Yippee, I am pregnant! .................................................................... 14 Expecting a baby, back then…....................................................... 18 Infant formula .................................................................................. 21 The contraceptive pill ...................................................................... 27 A service to "Start babies" ............................................................... 32 The ancestor of daycares: the asylum rooms .................................. 36 Breastfeeding ................................................................................... 39 Obstetric interventions .................................................................... 43 Pain management ............................................................................ 44 The use of forceps............................................................................ 46 C-section .......................................................................................... 46 Just like a turtle!............................................................................... 47 The useless essentials...................................................................... 51 Clothes or disposable diapers .......................................................... 53 Monitor ............................................................................................ 55 Bath time! ........................................................................................ 56 Strollers ............................................................................................ 60 “Transformers” high chairs .............................................................. 62 Diaper Disposable System................................................................ 63 Products for babies .......................................................................... 64 Cradles or bassinets ......................................................................... 68 Maternity clothes............................................................................. 70 Resale shops, a good idea… ................................................... 71 Other gadgets .................................................................................. 73 LOST IN THE PAST ............................................................................ 75 7

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The festival of fear ........................................................................... 89 Are we all human? ........................................................................... 99 Hidden Power ................................................................................. 107 RÉFÉRENCES : ............................................................................... 113

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First of all... Am I an expert?

Yes. I am an expert with my children, just like you will become one with yours. I'm very proud of my daughters. They are now 14, 8, and 3 years old. I have known three pregnancies spaced over time, in two different countries. I have experienced public and private hospitals as well as a home birth. I have known epidural and auto-hypnosis techniques. I have known the follow-up done by a physician and the one performed by a midwife. I have experienced the birth of a preemie and the birth of a baby in perfect health. I have known the joy of giving birth, and also the nervous anxiety that comes along with it.

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I have known bottle feeding and breastfeeding. I've known a pregnancy bedridden in a hospital and the one freely lived at home. I encountered episiotomy and physical tears, and experienced the scars of a mother’s heart. Pregnancy is a unique experience, regardless of the number of pregnancies in the past. Following the advice of disappointments and regrets.

"experts"

led

me

to

A quick note to my big girl Alexane: preemie, autistic, and visually impaired - thank you. Thanks to you, I discovered this strength that allows me to stand. I now have this infallible confidence in my abilities to become a mother. Even when experts seem overwhelmed, the heart of a mother will never be... The maternal instinct makes sure your baby will be protected by your care. The type of care is up to your judgment and your knowledge. I can't open a pregnancy guide anymore: the dictatorship of motherhood.

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I wanted to offer you a book in which you are the hero. A puzzle of information that will result in a personalized image of you and your beliefs.

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Introduction

Yippee, I am pregnant! Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch. ~E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

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Your pregnancy test is positive, you have made all your telephone calls, you sit... and think... "Where do I start?"

Welcome to the magic world of unwanted advices, eccentric prohibitions, and joyful corpulence! You are pregnant! Isn't that wonderful?

It is a magical time because in 30 and maybe even in 50 years, you will remember this moment... and, of course, the following months!

A pregnant woman attracts attention: "She wears down, it's a boy! Is she truly expecting?" Pregnancy attracts advice: "Pay attention to what you eat, what you drink, what you shouldn't drink... the position in which you sleep, the shoes you wear... "Alleluia! Not to mention prejudices: "Is she in a relationship? Does she have the means? She looks young! She looks too old to have a baby!” On the other hand, expecting a baby is an inexplicable experience. The objective of this book is to assist you in your quest for mental balance despite all the contraindications, frightening obligations, and new practices. Pregnancy is not a health disorder, a disease, a scientific experiment, or a marketing ploy! 15

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Pregnancy has been around for a while. Looking at the number of humans now inhabiting the planet, I believe women have managed well! And yes, of course, men as well (let’s not exclude them poor little creatures!). Unraveling the myths and the evolution of pregnancy is a difficult but rewarding task. Women who opened a pregnancy guide in previous decades had different stories compared to what you read today... The important thing is to use your judgment because despite what the books are saying, it will be old hat in 10 years. ____________________________________________________ EBay bellies In the mid-2000s, a woman offered her pregnant belly for advertisement purpose. She collected thousands of dollars from a company who used her growing belly during her pregnancy. Subsequently, other women have pursued the same offer. Over the years, we see expectant mothers being more and more proud of their curves and some even see it as a way to get rich! This was not always the case...

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Part ONE

Expecting a baby, back then… Women today not only possess genetic memory of birth from a thousand generations of women, but they are also assailed from every direction by information and misinformation about birth. - Valerie El Halta 18

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Pregnancy as we know it today, was not always a happy event. Women from our grandmother’s era had to hide to avoid showing their round belly. Many of those women wore a corset that prevented them from breathing. I originally wanted to write just a small paragraph on the history of pregnancy. However, while doing my research, I noticed the history of motherhood was much more important than what we believed in regarding to decisions we have to take during our pregnancy. The comprehension of the history of common practices is not only an asset, but a duty. I experienced my last pregnancy 11 years after my first one. In just 10 years, standard practices had already drastically changed. I had the impression of being drawn back in to being a beginner again. I remember my mother confessing to me that she wanted to help me but didn’t want to mislead me. From generation to generation, new practices have come up as a result of scientific research. I find it curious that we have taken steps forward and then backtracked on several points.

Here is a summary of the life of pregnant women…

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Once upon a time, giving birth to a child also meant risking our life. Maternalism was a very important ideology. Childbearing was the sole function of women, and that is what distinguished them from men. In other words, women were “made to make babies”, a school of thought powered by the priests of the Catholic Church because according to them, they should not "stop the family." Infertile women were being seen as carrying a curse. In 1935, medical literature indicated that if a woman decided to say “no” to motherhood, she didn’t have the right to marry. Marriage was only for couples wishing to start a family. In the 1930s, businesses had accepted the employability of single women but as statistics showed, women who worked outside the house were more likely to give birth to a stillborn child. Work and child-bearing together was not embraced. There are two important inventions that came up to put an end to this duty of maternity and left women in control of their bodies... but at what cost?

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Infant formula

The first infant formula emerged in 1890 by Nestle Company. As there was now an alternative to breastfeeding but that alternative was not cheap, breastfeeding women were perceived as being poor. Only wealthy families had this opportunity. It should be noted that an alternative existed before this invention: wet nurses were being used to feed babies so they could receive a healthy diet however, as you can imagine, the canned milk version became much more affordable! Over the years, formula recipes were refined in an attempt to match the original recipe of "Colonel" MOM. I say "attempt" because even today, the recipe is still not flawless. The ingredients of the first baby formula recipes will probably make you jump: 1867 A preparation made of wheat flour, cow's milk, malt flour, and potassium bicarbonate had been developed. 1915 Powdered formula arrived on the market. The ingredients? Cow's milk, lactose, oleo oil (oil extracted from beef fat, 21

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mainly composed of olein and palmitin, also used in margarine.) 1929 Soy-based formulas make their appearance. They currently raise several concerns. They have been linked to developmental problems because of their high concentration of phytoestrogens. 1935 Proteins had been added to preparations because it was believed that cow's milk contained less protein than breast milk. 3.3 - 4 kccal had been added. We now know that cow's milk contains 3.4 grams per 100 ml versus only 0.5 - 1.1 grams in human milk. We also discovered that increasing protein consumption can cause kidney problems.

1959 Fortified iron formula came along to respond to the new discoveries of the day. Babies need iron to increase the mass of red blood cells in their little growing body. What they did not know yet is that even though breast milk does not contain a large amount of iron, it is being absorbed entirely contrary to the added iron.

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1962 The ratio of whey/casein was adjusted to make it similar to breast milk.

1984 Formulas fortified with taurine was the solution of insufficient milk enzymes that is used to convert and create taurine.

In the 1990s Artificial milk supplemented with nucleotides was added to the long list of still incomplete formulas to strengthen the immune system.

Around 2000s With all these findings on the benefits of fatty acids on brain development, we thought it was common sense to add it to the list of ingredients.

Phew, not easy to produce human milk!

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With all the options available in stores now, you can easily lose your mind: Milk from pastured cow, organic milk, fat extracted without hexane, soy formula, corn syrup free formula, options with DHA, probiotics, enzymes etc. Because we want what is best for our baby, it becomes a difficult choice to make especially if your baby has negative reactions to milk. Some need a thicker formula to help digestion. Others are intolerant to casein, lactose, or soy. How far can we go to recreate breast milk?

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Artist: Alfons Mucha 25(1860-1939) – (Nestlé's Food for Infants) – 189

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The contraceptive pill

The arrival of the famous pill allowed women to plan their pregnancy. They could now limit their number of offspring. The first pill was marketed in 1960, but at that time, it had to be prescribed to relieve menstrual problems, endometriosis, or even painful premenstrual pain. It could not reveal that it allowed women to have sex without having a baby. It’s only a few years later on that it could be prescribed as a contraception method. It is also interesting to note that the birth rate has thus fallen after 1960...

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You can imagine how this famous pill became an ally for those who fought for women’s rights. This invention granted women the opportunity to continue their education, start a career, and extend it until the right moment... all this while developing a relationship. The pill was often taken in secret. Poor men! Several gentlemen at the time must have experienced a lot of anxiety.

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The pill has also been criticized. Especially by Christians. You've heard the expression: prevent the family? It was the blame thrown on contraceptive pill users. The IUD already existed since 1928 but it was very unpopular due to its ban by the Catholic Church, which sees it as having an abortive effect. The mechanism of action of the copper coil is to prevent implantation of the fertilized eggs in the womb (abortive effect), however it mainly acts as a spermicide and thus, the chances of fertilization are very limited. The pill also gained in popularity in the 1970s when a new intrauterine device on the market, the Dalkon Shield resulted in several serious complications among users. The company behind this device was sentenced to pay 2.5 billion dollars in damages and interests to victims. In a word, the popularity of the contraceptive pill shows the feeling in women about maternity. Women want to become mothers but not at any price. They require the choice to be able to anticipate and plan their pregnancy while, we must say, taking pleasure in sexual activities.

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Enovid is the first cntraceptive pill to be autorized in United States in 1960

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In addition to these two inventions, several changes have occurred following scientific discoveries but also because of certain historical aspects; the industrial revolution and military conflicts. The industrial revolution caused people to be more dependent on the public system and has created additional needs for families. Child-rearing practices have also undergone a metamorphosis. Let's look more closely at these amendments which transformed the daily lives of new moms!

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A service to "Start babies"

I had got wind of a service existing at the time of my birth and that had awakened my critical sense. Towards the end of the 1970s, these centers existed at several locations as private nurseries. I must admit that trying to track these centers has been an arduous task probably because such activities wouldn’t be tolerated nowadays and women who have used this service were reluctant to talk about it. Private nurseries offered respite and care for new moms but people referred to them as a service to "start babies" (the actual term used). Therefore, the mother who had just given birth, would send her baby to a nursery for a duration of 2 weeks to over a month. The nursery workers had the task of establishing a feeding and sleeping routine. The new mom then received a “perfect” baby which was feeding every 4 hours and was sleeping through the night!

While investigating into these vanished centers, I realized that their use was more common than I had imagined. In fact, most interviewed women who gave birth within these years, have heard of the existence of this service and many even knew parents who have used them.

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Yet, with the vision of parenting of our times, we find it difficult to understand and not show any judgment towards a mother who can, voluntarily, separate from her child at birth to get him properly “militarized” later! It must be understood that in the 70s, children’s education was undergoing a complete makeover. In the 1940s, pediatricians and child education experts advised mothers to not over-cuddle their baby. According to them, responding immediately to the needs of infants did not prepare them to live in society. They were encouraging mothers to establish a firm routine, to limit kissing and cuddling and to not run as soon as the baby made a sound. Despite the maternal instinct wanted to take over, women suffered pressure from peers. Mothers showing affection to their baby were blamed for raising cowards.

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Internationally renowned pediatrician Benjamin Spock came along to change this unemotional approach. Dr. Spock was one of the first to see the child as a whole and to propagate the individualist ideology: each child is different. He also invited moms to use their judgment and their maternal instinct. However, his approach was highly criticized and even associated with the rise of peaceful groups during the Vietnam War. He was alleged to having created pacifists by propagating his permissive ideology towards children. Despite the acceptance and integration of Benjamin Spock’s philosophy, a serious mistake tarnished his reputation. Indeed, Dr. Spock may have contributed to the epidemic of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by suggesting that babies sleep on their stomach to avoid choking on their vomitus. We know now that this practice is no longer encouraged and the “Safe to Sleep” campaign which encourages the infant to sleep on his or her back reduced SIDS cases from 70 to 50%. In the end, when you cuddle your newborn with confidence, remember that Dr. Spock is behind this.

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The ancestor of daycares: the asylum rooms

The term “asylum” for a child care service can make one jump however, this rather negative connotation comes from the fact that it was widely used to describe centers specialized in psychiatry in the past. On the other hand, an asylum is actually a refuge. The first daycares were held by the nuns. Between 1858 and 1920, the first asylum room opened its doors in Montreal. In 1858, mothers who had to work were sending their children to the asylum. This service was held by the “Grey Nuns”. Two months after its opening, they received more than 100 children per day. What caused their appearance? In the city, fathers working at the factory weren’t earning enough money to meet the needs of their family. Mothers had to work outside the home to fill this gap. Serious accidents occurred because children that were 5 to 6 years old were left at home (and they were given the responsibility of caring for younger children). With a scourge of children left alone in the streets throughout the day, asylum rooms became almost a necessity. However, we just cannot compare them with our current childcare centers.

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At the asylum, the caregiver-to-child ratio was 1 to 2 caregivers for 100 children or even more. Nuns had to establish a harsh discipline in order to contain these children and also to be successful in teaching them some stuff. Children learned to count, recite the alphabet, sing, and even familiarize themselves a bit with geography. As the service was free for parents (who wouldn’t have had the means to pay anyway), the Grey Nuns still needed funding to continue to operate their centers. They came up with a great idea: shows performed by children for the wealthy and high society. The children practiced and rehearsed for the show all day. This activity was very important to them because the more it was appreciated, the more money they received. We are not talking about a circus-like performance but rather a show of skills. Children could demonstrate their fluency in reciting fables or their talent in imitating the local priest. The Government also gave a grant of $0.25 per child per month. It did not see the asylums rooms as a necessary service falling under the State obligation, but more as a charity. It is difficult to understand why the asylum rooms have disappeared. Several have been destroyed or even sold to be transformed into elementary schools. Working women were not embraced. Until 1952, women's labor was considered anti-Christian, unnatural and antifamilial. We even felt that if a woman became too educated, she would be more conducive to reject motherhood. Moreover, the amount of children received in these asylums 37

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versus the number of available nuns was so extreme that they could not stay in service for more than 2-3 years. Full time caring for a hundred children… can we blame them?

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Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a natural and instinctive activity in all mammals including us: humans. Breastfeeding is one of the most concrete example of the divergence of opinions roller coaster among experts over the years... Here are a few examples:

In antiquity, the ancients believed that characters traits were transmitted through breast milk. Intriguingly, people in high society (including Royal families) used slaves to breastfeed their babies. ___________________________________________________ A well-known doctor of the era, Soranus forbade women to give their milk during the first 20 days after birth because, according to him, it was indigestible. Thus, the child was fed warm honey and goat's milk. ________________________________________________

In Middle Ages, it was believed that breast milk was the transformation of blood. It was also thought that sexual intercourse triggered menstruation and could prevent a good lactation.

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In the 19th century, fashionable corsets caused breastfeeding difficulties. Women ended up with flattened nipples and several solutions had emerged to assist them (nipple shields etc.)

At the beginning of the 20th century, a major problem was confronting families. The infant mortality rate was 12.6 to 17% of all deaths within the province of Quebec. The cause was the quality of the milk given to infants. This plague was far more common in the cities than in the countryside. In Montreal, in 1899, there are 2,071 deaths for 7 715 births, a rate of 26.8%. In Quebec City, the figures are even more alarming: Among 1,332 births, there are 665 deaths, a rate of 49.9% (compared to other major cities for the same year: London 15.2%, Paris 11.1%, and New York 18.3%.). Breastfeeding was less frequently practiced within the city and access to a fresh and safe source of milk was a challenge. In fact, milk producers had no knowledge of sanitization and hygiene. They often poured milk in dirty containers and let it sit for several hours or even days without refrigeration. Infectious diseases such as measles and scarlet fever are feared by parents today (this is why most of them vaccinate their children against these diseases). However, at the beginning of the century, gastroenteritis was a very deadly disease.

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Around 1900, in attempt to educate parents, volunteers and nurses created LA GOUTTE D’EAU (drop of water. Workers at the clinic were distributing fresh and safe milk to the poorest families. They also educated parents on the importance of hygiene. This promotion of preferable habits, routines, and choices brought results. Around 1926, the Government had set up a network of health units in various areas in Quebec. These health units were mainly used for safety awareness campaigns. The ultimate goal was to improve the health of children in Quebec where the mortality rate was out of control. In targeting mothers, the main actors in child hygiene, the government reached the first link. Preschoolers were also reached through vaccination, health screening, and infectious disease control. An important movement of hygiene propaganda was created. The success of these educational approaches has not been without criticism. Certain social groups denounced the distribution of free milk because they saw an incentive to drop breastfeeding. Whether we like it or not, if breastfeeding was encouraged at the beginning of the century, many babies would have lived longer.

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Example of a French ad that wouldn’t be tolerated today: “Beer is nourishing, this one drinks it, and this one does not”

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Obstetric interventions

Looking for methods to alleviate or even halt pain during childbirth has always been prized by obstetricians and midwives, however this is not the only intervention that arouses the interest of professionals. Over the years, techniques have been refined and some have disappeared because they caused more harm than good.

Cervix examination

At the beginning of the 20th century, obstetricians disagreed on the frequency of exams during the different stages of childbirth. Some raised the risk of infection and the risk of premature rupture of membranes, while others raised the importance of closely monitoring labor. Around 1940, vaginal exams had become very rare. At that time, rectal exams to assess labor progress was the norm.

Inducing labor

Midwives always had little tricks to induce labor. They used herbs or natural techniques.

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Then, more effective methods made their entrance in the obstetricians’ world. Several medical textbooks treated this aspect. There were conflicts among doctors on the real reasons to induce contractions (or even accentuate them). Physicians were blamed for using these techniques for their own well-being: to cure their impatience. This debate is still current. Medication used to induce contractions is often perceived as a step toward the need to control the unbearable pain. Indeed, the pain following the oxytocin administration (main substance used now) is violent and intolerable.

Pain management

If you do a Google search with the words 'giving birth without fear', you will find a wide range of works designed to put an end to this cultural fear of childbirth. The terrifying image of the woman writhing in pain makes us shudder at a very young age. This image was spread in the media and in Hollywood. Our perception of childbirth? A mandatory torture! Nowadays when we feel pain, we quickly seek a way to relieve it. It has not always been as easy. Medical techniques were once drastic and painful. Endorphin was enough. 44

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The Christian religion has contributed to this tolerance for pain. The Church valued suffering as a way to show solidarity with the Christ who suffered to save us. Not to mention that in the bible, Genesis reveals: "Bear in pain". For some, the pain of childbirth is the price to pay for pleasure received during intercourse... or an obstacle to endure to “deserve” the baby. Towards the end of the 19th century, George Engelmann, Professor of obstetrics at the Missouri Medical College, published “Labor among Primitive Peoples”. According to him, primitive women give birth easily and quickly, while women in the "civilized" countries have painful and endless labor. These women would cease to suffer if we just let them give birth in a natural position (such as squatting). With the advent of ether and chloroform in the 19th century, women quickly requested their administration or they would change physicians. Doctors responded to their request for fear of losing their patients. In 1900, in United States, 50% of pregnant women under a doctor’s care gave birth under anesthesia, which increased the use of forceps. Then, the epidural appeared and allowed women to give birth without pain while remaining conscious. It is regularly used today and is very popular. Another more natural and noninvasive method has gained popularity in recent years: the hypno-birth or self-hypnosis. This technique encourages women to control and even to dissociate themselves from the pain they feel. The Duchess 45

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of Cambridge had also wanted to try it! Natural methods are again in fashion.

The use of forceps

We have to go back to the 17th century to meet the first users of forceps: the tool that was kept secret by obstetricians. Today the use of forceps is in decline because of the emergence of C-section. Some claim the risks of complications for the baby (bleeding etc.) and for the mother (extension of the period of healing).

C-section

The history of the evolution of C-sections can, by itself, contribute to an entire book. Many people describe its appearance as being an evolution from a medical to a surgical specialty. The first C-sections were performed on expectant mothers at the point of death to try to save the unborn. In the 16th century, the maternal mortality rate following a C-section was 85% and this was, of course, only performed in extreme cases. 46

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Today, the World Health Organization recommends a rate of C-section between 5 to 15%. The average Canadian national rate of C-section is 26.94% (nearly twice the upper limit of the WHO recommendations). The Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) has recently conducted a survey of the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) hospitals and their rate of C-sections and found some hospitals to have a 30-40% rate. The United States is similar, with a national average of 29.1%. We should mention that an impressive number of pregnant women know their date of delivery by C-section as early as the first trimester. Once again, we berate obstetricians for the unnecessary recourse to Caesarian sections for their own benefit.

Just like a turtle! If this is your first pregnancy, I have some good news for you: giving birth on your back is not an innate position! This position of childbirth, also called lithotomy, was invented in the 17th century by Dr. Mauriceau for a practical reason: easy access to perineum. François Mauriceau (1637-1709) published Les Maladies des Femmes grosses et accouchées (The diseases of large and expectant

women (1668), that contributed to calling obstetrics a medical specialty on its own. Women used to be able to jiggle and walk during labor but with the arrival of various techniques (epidurals, forceps, and heart rate monitor), women were forced to lay on their back. 47

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This lithotomy position was generally perceived as being “noble” as royal families were more likely to use it instead of the squatting position that led to the expression "giving birth like the natives”.

Dr. Deruelle, gynecologist-obstetrician said a few years ago: "Yes, the squatting position is more physiological, but, I'm not a contortionist"...

Another evidence that the comfort of women is not always the priority!

If we could travel in the future, we would probably read reviews published about our time: "Women in the 2000s had to wait at least 12 weeks to know the gender of their baby." “Women in the 2000s had to wait for the birth of their child to know its physical features.” Or perhaps some news like this: "Researchers from such and such University recreated the human mammary gland which could reproduce the lactation process. ''

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This discovery opens the door to new business opportunities as an alternative to the baby formula given to babies of mothers who cannot breastfeed." Keep this book and read it again while watching your grandchildren... smiles guaranteed.

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PART Two

The useless essentials Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers... strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength. -Barbara Katz Rothman

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“You cannot do without" … From the point of view of marketing experts, pregnant women are very important as they are about to cross an important step into motherhood that will bring them closer to consuming products and services of which they are currently unaware. Becoming a parent is the most important step after the birth. This is the step that has the greatest impact on the way you’ll live your life and seek as well as consume completely new products and services. Marketing people understand this. The pregnant woman is open-minded to novelties in the field of motherhood. It is also for these reasons that maternity EXPOs worldwide usually get a lot of attention. Companies offering pre or postnatal products or services know very well how to stir up new parents! Everyone will fight to introduce you to THE product that will give you the ultimate experience of your life. How do we keep from getting lost? If you ask five women who have recently gave birth to write a list of the perfect “new mom kit”, you’ll end up with 5 different lists. To unravel the truth, it’s important to know about the variety of products and services as well as their pros and cons.

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____________________________________________________ I had 3 pregnancies with 5 resting years in between. For the first one, I bought everything, tested everything... but unfortunately did not use everything. The needs of each one of you will differ. I will give you a few examples. ____________________________________________________

Clothes or disposable diapers

Ah! Ecology! The benefit of cloth diapers on the planet. Some mothers swear by them while others can’t stand them after a week of testing. While doing my research on the benefits of cloth diapers, I noticed everyone has their own theory on the subject. Several moms made their own calculations and their savings oscillate between 0 and $30 a month. If you wish to purchase cloth diapers, you must obtain a starter kit that will cost you between $100 and $500. In general, parents decide to buy size 2 or 3 because they last longer and they start with disposable diapers. Some babies reach size 2 in a month! Then, you must choose a washing service or do it yourself. A washing service with home delivery costs an average of $25.00 a week. The benefits of cloth diapers: -Better for the environment -Less toxins on baby's skin 53

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-Economical The benefits of disposable diapers: -No foul-smelling laundry! -Less hassle -More absorbent (baby is dry) On the other hand, there are a few arguments which give rise to some doubt regarding cloth diapers and their ecological value: -Washing services must drive around (and burn gas) to pick up and deliver diapers. -The fabric used in the manufacture of cloth diapers contains plastic that is not necessarily good for the environment. -Washing your cloth diapers at home require energy on a daily basis! It is true that in the United States, for example, 2% of the waste at dump sites is composed of disposable diapers. It's huge! However, you should have a very robust routine with cloth diapers to obtain a “Green effect”. 1 - Collect your soiled diapers to make a large laundry. 2 - Use solar energy (the famous clothesline!).

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While writing these lines, my husband told me: "I would prefer to pay $5-10 more a week for disposable diapers without chlorine and toxin than to endure the smell of soiled diapers and all the work that comes with it". My advice: make sure you can stick to cloth diapers prior to making the investment. Cloth diapers are fairly easy to use at home, but can become quite uncomfortable when you have leave the house. Also, if your baby attends a daycare, make sure the daycare providers are comfortable dealing with it. ___________________________________________________ I used cloth diapers, disposable diapers, and disposable diapers without toxins. If I had to start over, I'd probably do a mix of disposable diapers without toxins and cloth diapers and I would do the laundry myself. Why? A cloth diaper during the night is not pleasant! ___________________________________________________

Monitor

This small handy tool may become the worst nightmare of your life. Let me explain. We, humans, have a regular breath most of the time but a larger interval between two inhalations may occur sometimes and this occurs, quite normally, among infants as well. Falling asleep with the ear glued to the monitor for the sound of baby’s breathing may be comforting but a factual source of stress. 55

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If you spend a lot of time outdoors or if your house is huge, the monitor will probably be a good ally. ____________________________________________________ I've never used a monitor. Why? Because I was never far enough to not hear my baby crying. Also, I didn’t want to rush at the first sound. Babies groan in their sleep, but it never lasts long. ____________________________________________________

Bath time!

It is significant enough to dedicate a chapter about it during prenatal classes. If you manage your own body care, you are experienced enough to contribute to the wellness of your baby. Do not let yourselves be indoctrinated by pseudo experts! Bath time is not complicated. Period! Tools needed: water, soap, and a towel (remind you of something?) Bath thermometer No, but really? If you are unsure about how to assess your baby's bath water, perhaps you should rethink your ability to raise a child.

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Bathtub Personally, I avoid anything that is complicated. If you have a deep bath (or, no bath at all) you may want to consider purchasing one. For us, a well cleaned sink with a towel to cover the bottom, or even the family bath has done the job. When you think about it, we must 1) Fill the baby bathtub 2) Wash your baby 3) Empty the bath water 4) Clean the baby bathtub... Why should we make it so complicated? Even better, join the baby in the water!

My baby bathtub was cute as a bug but didn’t pass the simplicity test. For my first daughter, the bathtub was part of the changing table in her room. I performed my role of water carrier once... and I was done! I found that going in the bath with them was more practical. ___________________________________________________

Hooded bath towel They are not mandatory, but they are pleasant to receive as a gift. Some towels are very "rough" for the baby's gentle skin. If you have 30 minutes to spend... Create this unique hooded towel.

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Strollers (Specially designed for lunar walks?) A beautiful stroller is always nice to push! However, make sure that you do not look like an idiot when you try to fold it! The best strollers are those which you can attach to the car seat by a simple click and fold with one hand (with baby in the other). The invention of the car seat/stroller was a true revelation. Finally, there was no need to wake the baby up or take him out of the car. When we experiment with motherhood, design become inessential. I would even argue that after a few weeks have gone by without a full night of sleep, your tired eyes will not even perceive design. Stroller designs which are currently on the market make me smile

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“Transformers” high chairs

Have you noticed how all baby gear is convertible? A high chair that turns into a seat, then into a cradle, to finally ending up in a corner as a plant stand. (Am I exaggerating? Really?). Soon, the baby will be spending the majority of his time in the same widget which will adapt to his activities. In fact, choosing the perfect model remains an arduous task. It is best to consider an easy-to-clean model. Count every nook and cranny. Remember that each little crack can contain an entire meal. Do not forget the space you require to store it.

____________________________________________________ I have not found my highchair to be very useful so later on, I decided to invest in an adjustable seat that you can fix on any kitchen chair.

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Diaper Disposable System You may think: this is a majestic invention by a conscientious mom! Not at all. I'm pretty sure this invention comes from a person who has never had a baby. Ok, we agree that one dirty diaper smells, right? So imagine thirty soiled and fermented diapers! “Horror” is a weak word. It is therefore necessary to be tooled with a perfume spray, a nose clip (or even better: a gas mask), evacuate the house, and do not expect visitors. There is market innovative rubbish claiming to control odors. Feedback from mothers who used these systems have not convinced me. Several moms claimed that their hands got soiled while trying to push the diapers deeper in the trash to allow the plastic coat to wrap it up. The best way to dispose of diapers is putting them in a plastic bag (no hole) and tie it. You can then leave them in the family trash.

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Products for babies

Baby shampoo, lotions for sensitive skin, diaper rash cream, fragrance free soap, specialty laundry detergent... Sometimes, we have the impression that to begin a career as a parent, we must invest half a million. A baby only needs gentle and natural products. Avoid extraneous odors. His favorite odor is his mother’s smell. Unless you are able to make a lotion tainted with your body odor, you better stick to the 'fragrance free' products or at least avoid synthetic ones. Have you ever heard of the benefits of coconut oil? Try it. And believe me, you will not be able to live without it. 1. Coconut oil contains lauric acid, an antibacterial fatty acid that protects the immune system of both fetus and newborn. Expectant mothers can ingest a spoonful a day to boost their immune system. 2. When it is applied on the perineum in the weeks prior to labor, it can help reduce tears and the need for an episiotomy. 3. During your baby’s first diaper changes, coconut oil will eliminate the sticky meconium from baby's bottom. It can be used at each diaper change to protect your baby's skin (see recipe).

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4. Coconut oil is ideal for removing cradle cap (small crust on baby's head also known as Seborrhea). 5. Breastfeeding mothers can use it on cracked nipples to soothe the pain. 6. Consuming coconut oil can increase your milk flow. 7. This oil is also anti-fungal. Excellent for curing yeast infections on baby’s bottom or curing thrush inside baby's mouth. 8. When baby is ill, make your own decongestant (see recipe). 9. Coconut oil can help you lose weight. With its thermal effect, it increases your body’s temperature by a few degrees, allowing you to burn more calories. 10. Coconut oil is the perfect massage oil... for baby or mommy (see recipe). Recipes: Decongestant gel for babies While looking at a decongestant’s ingredient for my baby, I realized I had all the ingredients at home and that I could replace white petroleum jelly (not recommended for baby's skin) with coconut oil. The latter becomes liquid at 24 degrees Celsius, but has the same consistency as petroleum jelly between 15 and 20 degrees Celsius. 65

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½ Cup Virgin and unrefined coconut oil 10 drops of eucalyptus essential oil 10 drops of Rosemary essential oil 10 drops of lavender essential oil Mix well and apply to baby’s chest and/or back. Alternatively, you can make it flow with the running bath water. If you find your mixture to be too “liquidy”, place it in the refrigerator for a few minutes. Baby wipes 1 Cup coconut oil or almond oil - which will help take off the stool without having to rub and will leave a protective coating until the next diaper change. 2 tsp. Aloe vera gel - will heal diaper rash. 10 drops of lavender oil - very powerful antibacterial that will leave a soothing smell. 10 drops of shampoo - even if the ingredients above alone may be enough, the addition of soap delivers a completely clean skin. Put everything in a bottle with a long neck (like the restaurant ketchup bottles) if you want a liquid mixture (in this case, make sure that the temperature exceeds 24 degrees Celsius or use sweet almond oil). You can also make is as a balm if you use coconut oil. Instructions: Liquid: Pour a few drops on a dry cloth or paper towel.

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In balm: soak your dry wipe or your paper towel in your mixture. Massage oil ¼ Cup coconut oil 10 drops essential oil For baby: Chamomile: To soothe colic Lavender: For a relaxing effect For mothers: Grapefruit: to help eliminate cellulite

Non-Toxic laundry detergent 4 cups of baking soda 4 cups of washing soda A natural soap bar grated Essential oils of your choice To be used like any other detergent powder

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Cradles or bassinets

It is now not recommended to sleep with your baby. Therefore, adding a bassinet or cradle (in the master bedroom) is very useful. Cradles or bassinets? This is an excellent question! Never forget that the sleep routine you establish now will remain for a long time and that it is extremely difficult to get rid of it. Babies who get used to falling asleep in motion could have trouble falling asleep in their bed later on. It is the same with music. A baby wakes up regularly in his sleep but goes back to sleep generally pretty quickly... unless he is dependent on a sleep ritual. We, adults, have the same rituals to fall asleep. If you make a habit of reading before going to bed, you may not be able to fall asleep without a book to flick through. Babies are very sensitive to these rituals. Keeping a sleep routine will help your baby recognize that night time has arrived and he must sleep for a longer period of time. In this regard, during my second pregnancy, my greatest fear was to experience the sleepless nights I went through with the first who suffered from extreme sleep disorders. 68

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I read all the books on baby sleep and I decided to establish a pretty strict routine from the beginning. During her night feedings, all lights remained off with the exception of a mini flashlight (for our third, we equipped ourselves with a headlamp). Also, no sound was allowed… only cuddling! It was a huge success and I didn’t experience any sleepless nights! _________________________________________________

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Maternity clothes

Some pregnant women wear regular clothing until the end of their pregnancy while others feel their clothes to be too tight as early as the third month! Unfortunately, the need to purchase new clothes is almost always a requisite to ensure your comfort. There are however some small aspects to consider if you want to minimize costs! Pregnancy lasts 9 months and you will probably need clothing for about 8 to 12 months (depending on the rate at which you put on weight as well as the rate at which you lose it.). Lycra is the pregnant woman’s friend. You can get a lycra tank shirt that will fit perfectly throughout your pregnancy and after childbirth. ____________________________________________________ During my first pregnancy, maternity clothing didn’t tempt me at all. I’m not a fan of dresses with huge flowers and I had the impression maternity fashion wasn’t for me! I managed to find myself some comfortable garments that were one size larger than what I normally wear. My last two pregnancies were very different: weight gain was the reason that led me to take a pregnancy test. I opted for maternity attire, but without those large panels covering the belly. I truly had the impression that I was dressed up as a hippopotamus. 70

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____________________________________________________ There are now small bands available which you can attach to your jeans, pants, and skirts to allow you to wear them for a longer period or an extensible fabric that covers the top of your loose bottoms. Resale shops, a good idea… When we know this paraphernalia will only be temporary, why not visit thrift shops? Thrift shops are filled with maternity clothes worn only a few months or even a few weeks. If you can’t find anything that suits your taste, stay on the regular side and look for a lycra top or empire waist. For pants and skirts, look for sliding or expandable waist. If you know your family is not complete, choose neutral colors and styles that can be used during your next pregnancy. Black, white, and navy never go out of style. Do not be afraid to pay a little more for a good fabric quality that can withstand several trips to the washing machine.

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The rubber band trick

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Other gadgets Breast pump Very convenient for the mom who wants to leave the house from time to time. I recommend an electric two-cylinder pump if you do not want to spend all your time being suctioned (from baby and machine). Baby play mats Baby play mats are not really essential. Some babies dislike lying flat. However, it is very nice to receive as a gift. Add it to your baby shower wish list. Swing The swing comes in handy when you need both hands (to take care of your other children, for example). There are low swings easily transportable if you visit family.

Mobile or other musical devices Be careful with mobiles. They cannot be used for a very long time. As soon as baby can reach the mobile, it must leave the bedroom. As previously said, letting your baby fall asleep while listening to a lullaby can have troublesome consequences for parents. Music will eventually stop, baby will cry, and you will need to come in to restart the music. There are devices with remote control that are available, however no

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automatic trigger is available just yet (although we never know ).

For my little one, we did not want her to wake up to the sound of her sisters or the barking dog. We installed a fan in her room as background noise. She is 3 years old now and always sleeps with the fan. She wakes up only in the event of a power outage!

______________________________________ Vibrating seat I have always wondered why babies love the effect of vibration. It seems to me that I would get tired of having my bottom shaken after about five minutes. There are moments when you don’t know where to put baby (you know when you have to visit the bathroom and baby is screaming his head off). In this case, having different stations (baby play mat, swing, etc.) becomes necessary (also known as rest stations for moms). Baby carrier After suffering a shoulder laceration, I decided to discontinue the use of my baby carrier until I discovered these extraordinary wraps! Okay, I confess, the first time you try to wrap your baby with those things, you feel like you just joined a girls scout troop and you are learning how to perform different nodes. However, once you master the technique, you can carry your baby like a glove. 74

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You just cannot imagine how many daily activities require the use of both hands. There are experienced moms who can even combine the art of breastfeeding and washing the dishes.

LOST IN THE PAST

Several so-called essential gadgets disappeared from the shelves. Their disappearance is directly related to the unsafe use of the product by unreasonable parents. Baby powder In the early 1980s, every new mom had a bottle of baby powder. It helped baby to stay dry and the famous fragrance hid unwanted odors. Unfortunately, baby powder is not recommended anymore, because it can affect baby’s respiratory system. Mothers had a field day with the art of powdering. I can almost remember the image of my mother blurred in this perfumed cloud.

Drop side cribs For moms with short legs like mine, cribs with retractable sides were very convenient. Unfortunately, accidents 75

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occurred. If lock was not engaged, babies could end up with a stuck hand and a side that was dangerously low.

Remember the walkers? Walkers are prohibited in Canada since 2004. They were no longer sold since 1989, but Health Canada has decided to even prohibit their possession. Several incidents have occurred. Most of these are related to access to basements. Babies were found at the bottom of the stairway after a long and painful fall.

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Baby bottles holder Baby bottles holders are prohibited in Canada. Are you surprised by their existence? I was! Some holders are similar to the ones you would need for your hamster. The picture I have in mind seems to come directly from the pet store... the only thing missing is the wheel. Others are also wacky:

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The Bumbo as we know it The invention of the Bumbo (little infant seat adapts to the shape of the baby’s body) was great. Babies could see the world in a seated position. Perfect for stories and rhymes! Once again, parents didn’t used them adequately. This little seat is not made to be placed on height surfaces. Several falls occurred because the Bumbo was placed on a table. The new Bumbo now has a safety belt. I tend to believe that the lack of supervision was the main cause of accidents. Unfortunately, you cannot add “supervision” to the box!

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Do you know Sophie the giraffe? Invented in 1961 by society Delacoste, Sophie is very attractive to young infants. Its texture, smell, and shape fit entirely in the clumsy hands of babies. The reputation of the company and its product had always been untouchable until 2011 when a German study revealed that the giraffe could release nitrosamines precursors in the saliva of babies. Indeed, the levels of nitrosamines tolerated in baby teething items is different from one country to another. While German standards allow 0.1 mg of nitrosamines / kg and European standards allow 1 mg of nitrosamines / kg, the study revealed 0.781 mg / kg of nitrosamines. Such a thin line makes a product hazardous in Germany but totally safe elsewhere. Any study is relative and must be evaluated with prudent judgment. ____________________________________________________

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In addition to prohibiting baby items, Health Canada also regulates several of them. It is important to know this if you want to buy used items or if you want to bring such items back when you travel outside the country. • Car seats - car seats must meet the Canada motor vehicle safety standards and bear a label on which appears a national safety mark and a label attesting their conformity (indicating the size and weight). • Sleepwear for kids - these garments must meet flammability requirements. • Cribs - the name of the manufacturer, model number, date of manufacture, and assembly instructions must be printed on or affixed to cribs. • Strollers - Strollers must meet labelling and performance requirements. • Toys - Toys must meet mechanical, electrical, toxicological, and flammability requirements. • Hockey helmets and face protectors - these products must meet the Canadian Standards Association (CSA) requirements. • Playpens - Playpens must meet labelling and performance requirements.

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Mother’s dilemma

How do you prevent yourself from getting lost in the purchase of your baby gear? Follow this calculation. It will be much easier to make choices. This product or service... Will make my life easier (1-10) = . Cost versus quality (from 1 to 10) = . Add the two digits and usually a result of 12 and above is rationally a good choice! For example: Maman Kangaroo wrap Make my life easier = 8 I can clean the house, take a walk, and run some errands using both hands. Cost versus quality: 7 Mama Kangaroo wrap is more expensive than other wraps but the fabric is best quality. Result = 15: I'll buy it!

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Let's recap: 1 - Assess your essentials according to your own needs. 2 - Do not buy everything before your baby is born. Wait until you know your routine and baby’s preferences. 3 - Borrow or rent to test what you can (for example, the breast pump).

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Your rescue kit for childbirth If you're like me, your suitcase will be ready 2 months before your due date. Don't forget anything! For you: Your birth plan Make sure your partner knows the contents of your birth plan. He will become your advocate if you no longer have the capacity to make decisions. Your hospital card and insurance card Your toiletry kit Essentials for hair maintenance, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, body lotion, and makeup. After childbirth, you'll want to look good for your visitors and especially for yourself. Well deserved! Slippers and socks It can be very cold in the hospital’s hallways.

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Massage oil Or a massage bar that is easier to use. Recipe: Lavender and Sweet Orange Massage Bar Ingredients for 5 bars (60g) • 120 g of cocoa butter • 60 g of Shea butter • 60 g of beeswax • 60 g of coconut oil • 2.5 g of sweet orange essential oil • 1 g of lavender essential oil • 10 drops of vitamin E Melt butter, wax and oil (in a water bath). Remove from heat when the mixture feels smooth and let rest for 5 minutes. Add essential oils and vitamin E. Pour mixture in the molds (if you don't have a mold, you can use cupcake layers). Place in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours before removing from mold.

Three night gowns One of which you will have no problem throwing away (the one you will use during childbirth) and two others for the following days.

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Clothing to go home Remember: you'll still look 6 month pregnant... With all the swelling, the uterus that hasn’t return to its original size, and the production of milk, you need lots of space. Pick a comfortable maternity outfit. 2 nursing bras If you plan on breastfeeding. Nursing pads Washable or disposable if you plan on breastfeeding. Sanitary pads Choose the ones that are more absorbent and thicker. You will need them for a long time (with the exception of a few lucky women).

Panties Purchase the cheapest panties you can find. They will probably end up in the garbage can. Other You can also include a book (this one!), an mp3 player and music that you enjoy, your pregnancy journal, relaxing essential oils, or any other activity that makes you relax.

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There's no limit to what you can accomplish while in labor. Some women may want to distract their mind by drawing, painting, knitting, writing, singing etc. For your partner Extra clothes Food and drinks A camera or a video camera

For Baby Car seat Outfit to go home Two or three pajamas Baby blankets in several different sizes. Small blankets to keep baby warm or to place on a cold surface. Large blankets to create a private breastfeeding area or for swaddling baby. Newborn diapers If you already know you are having a large baby, newborn diapers may be too tight. 86

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A bonnet Babywearing cover for winter babies. ____________________________________________________

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Part three

The festival of fear - Giving birth should be your greatest achievement, not your greatest fear. -Jane Weideman 89

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Pre-partum depression does exist and may affect any mother opening a pregnancy guide. Consult these guides and you’ll quickly realize that being pregnant demands hard work, a change of lifestyle, and can almost become a full time job. According to a well-known website, you should: -Add good fats to your diet -Take vitamins -Think about eating more protein, but not too much (not good for kidneys) -Eat less junk food or even none at all -Say no to sushi -Exercise... but not too much and properly -Practice Kegel exercises -Limit your exposure to environmental toxins -Avoid smoke, electromagnetic fields, cell phones, and microwave ovens -Pay attention to body products ingredients -Pay attention to gardening products -Pay attention to household products -Avoid drinking tap water -Keep away from alcohol, reptiles, mosquitoes, and cat litter -Do not get too hot And with all that... they add, avoid being STRESSED! They even suggest that pregnant women should take their rectal temperature during intense activity every 20 minutes! 90

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No, but this is insane!

Life is a risk management. Nothing less... These recommendations are based on current scientific knowledge. Over time, the advice given to pregnant women changes and even contradicts each other. It is essential to understand the reason for these recommendations in order to intelligently incorporate them into our lives. The results of studies are essentially a percentage of risk. For example, if out of a pool of 2,000 pregnant women, only 3 of them will have a baby over 10 pounds, you know there’s a little chance you’ll be one of the 3. However, compared to all the risks you will take in your life, which one will you lose? I lost you, didn’t I? OK, let me start again... If statistics tell you that your chances of dying: 1. From heart disease: probability of 1 in 5 2. Of cancer: probability of 1 in 7 91

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3. From an injury: probability of 1 in 36 4. From a car accident: probability of 1 in 100 5. From a fall: probability of 1 in 246 6. In a fire: probability of 1 in 1 116 7. From electrocution: probability of 1 in 5,000 8. Of drowning: probability of 1 in 8 942 9. Of a plane crash: probability of 1 in 20 000 10. By lightning: probability of 1 in 83 930 11. From a dog attack: probability of 1 in 147 717 12. Of a fireworks accident: probability of 1 in 615 488

Who knows if you will be the ONE out of 615 488 or not? I do not say we should not pay attention to known risks. I only say we must be logical and consider other factors in the implementation of recommendations into our daily routine. It also takes gumption. I have to repeat it again: dissect the reasons behind these recommendations to avoid disruption. "Do not change cat litter" It is recommended to restrain from changing the cat litter while pregnant because it may contain an infection causing parasite: toxoplasmosis. This parasite also exists in other places: meat, fruit and vegetables, in the garden, etc. In a normal person without any immunity dysfunction, it is unlikely that the infection would cause any symptoms. Also, 92

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if you do contract the illness, you would be immunized for life and thus, you would not transmit the disease to your fetus. A simple blood test will tell you if you have antibodies. For an infected pregnant woman, the risk of contracting the infection and pass it to baby are related to the number of weeks of pregnancy. In case of infection within the first trimester, the rate of transmission from mother to baby is 15%, while infections during the third trimester are transmitted at a rate of 60%. The majority of babies infected within the last months of pregnancy experience no problem or only a mild infection. The likelihood of fetal infection causing severe damage is greater when this occurs early in pregnancy. 5% of pregnancies infected within the first weeks result in miscarriages and in the 10% of pregnancies who survive, babies suffer serious consequences, including death. Therefore, the chances of being plagued with infection and passing it on to your baby are very minimal. In addition, from what I understand, gardening may be more risky because outdoor cat feces can be found, indoor cats being less at risk of carrying the parasite. This also means that a woman who doesn’t own a cat could be more at risk, because she would be less likely to have antibodies. Also, if your litter is changed every day, your chances of exposure are almost zero because the parasite becomes contagious only after 24 hours.

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A bit of gumption: the risks of transmitting the parasite to your fetus resulting in a serious outcome are very low… Don’t drive yourself nuts. Wear gloves when you garden. But between you and me, changing the cat litter is not the more enjoyable activity, so be “abusively” vigilant and ask your partner to do it for you  “Do not take a too-hot bath” Ooh la la! That one scared me terribly, because my bath water is excessively hot (according to my husband who burns himself with a simple touch). I have an increased tolerance to heat, but also a severe intolerance to cold. It is recommended that temperature should not exceed 38 degrees Celsius which generally applies to hot tub with an automatic temperature control (our bath water cools down rapidly with ambient air contact). General rule, if you don’t feel comfortable, or if you feel dizzy, get out or add cold water... Remember that baby cannot sweat to control his body temperature.

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"Do not drink alcohol”

“A little glass of wine while eating?'' -No, thank you

You have not yet announced your good news, but your choices compromise you.

Pregnant women know that: (1) They should not consume alcohol during pregnancy (2) They could get judged if they drink a toast

Pregnant women don’t really know:

(1) The amount of alcohol that could be dangerous for their baby. (2) The frequency of consumption that could harm their baby.

So generally, pregnant women choose to take no chances and completely withdraw from any form of alcohol.

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Can we get some explanation?

Several studies contradict each other on light to moderate consumption during pregnancy. All agree that excessive consumption can cause irreparable harm to the fetus: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome among others.

A Danish research that studied pregnant women (63,000) shows that those who reported light consumption of alcohol were generally healthier than those who abstained.

In 2007, an English study showed the opposite. With a sampling of 14,000 children, the study concluded that even with low consumption of alcohol (a glass of wine per week), pregnant women were more likely to deliver a child who would develop psychiatric disorders before the age of 4 (stronger in girls than boys).

Another scientific study from Michigan arrived at similar results. Out of 500 children studied, those whose mothers had consumed even just a glass of wine per week, were more likely to have behavioral problems at the age of 7.

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The conclusion of a study conducted in the UK, following 10 000 children:

«Light consumption of alcohol during pregnancy does not appear to be associated with adverse clinical effects on mental health or academic results».

Another Danish study focused on the ability to concentrate in 5 year old children showed no relationship between consumption of alcohol by pregnant women and attention deficit disorder.

In America, most perinatal health professionals proscribe any form of alcohol consumption during pregnancy while, in some other European countries, a light consumption is accepted.

Country

Recommendations

Canada

Absolute Abstinence

United States

Absolute Abstinence

France

Absolute Abstinence

Spain

Absolute Abstinence 97

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Denmark

Australia

Abstinence is recommeded, however, women who drink are advice to not consume more than a drink a day. Absolute Abstinence

Switzerland

Do not drink on a daily basis. Do not consume more than a drink a day.

Netherlands

Absolute expectant procreate. Absolute expectant procreate.

Ireland

abstinence is recommended for mothers and women wanted to abstinence is recommended for mothers and women wanted to

It is clear in my mind whether heavy alcohol consumption is the basis of this prohibition. It may be difficult to define the acceptable quantity, because too many factors come into play: weight, food intake, alcohol percentage, etc. Therefore, it is suggested to take no chances and not drink at all. These recommendations have caused fears in some women who have learned about their pregnancy after a boozy evening. It would very surprising if your New Year’s glass of champagne was a danger to your unborn baby. Moderation is always smart...

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Are we all human?

Scientific studies that have been published are accessible all over the world. The leaders of community health organizations rely on these studies to communicate instructions to the population. However, the interpretation and analysis of these studies seems to differ greatly, because the recommendations differ from one country to another. Should we not have similar stories? Here are some (silly) beliefs: Bolivia: Bolivian women may not knit little slippers for their baby... otherwise the umbilical cord could wrap around baby's neck. China: For the duration of their pregnancy, Chinese women must make a conscious effort to avoid evil spirits, funerals, and sex. Guatemala: Women of this country, especially those of Mayan origin, may stay at home throughout their pregnancy. They fear exposure to disease, evil spirits, or the bad faith of others. Inuit: It is recommended to avoid inflating balloons or blow bubbles during pregnancy to avoid a premature rupture of membranes. Mexico: Mexican women are advised to swim only in lukewarm water. If the water is too hot, it could cause

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circulatory problems and if it’s too cold, it could harden the pelvis and lead to a long and difficult birth. Although these beliefs may seem strange to us, they are still, even today, the reality of pregnant women elsewhere in the world. Here's the outline: Asia In China, it is believed that the personality of the unborn child can be strongly influenced by the mother’s state of mind during pregnancy. For this reason, Chinese women are constantly encouraged to control their thoughts and actions. They must say 'no' to gossip, tantrums, and hard work. Gifts before birth are considered very unlucky in Chinese culture. So, if you have Chinese friends, don't worry if they are reluctant to give baby shower presents. Also, Chinese babies receive their official name after birth. However, they can receive up to four other names throughout their lives: one for childhood, one for school, one for adulthood, and another at death. After birth of Chinese babies, mothers usually spend a whole month to get acquainted with their new baby and leave all previous obligations: career, house cleaning, etc. That month is entirely dedicated to her baby. In Japan, fathers can attend childbirth only if they have taken prenatal classes but cannot, under any circumstances, attend a C-section. Most relatives and friends should wait a few months to share their congratulations. 100

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At birth, the umbilical cord is cleaned and placed in a Bako kotobuki - a box that is made to protect this precious memory and ensure a positive mother-child bond throughout life. In general, in Japan, the hospital stay tends to be longer than in Canada; mothers can expect a minimum of five days for a vaginal birth and ten days or more for a caesarean section. After leaving the hospital, the mother and her baby are often at the house of the maternal parents for a month or even more (It is a tradition for women to remain in bed with their baby for 21 days). In Korea, women often refuse any form of pain relief to naturally make their way through labor and delivery. In Taiwan, it is advised to avoid screaming out during childbirth to respect the other inhabitants of the village. For Vietnamese women, silence is required. In fact, their emotions can be so upbraided that it is not uncommon to find tearing of the perineum caused by stress during childbirth. In Cambodia, following birth, the placenta is carefully wrapped in a banana leaf and placed next to the infant for three days. Then, it’s buried in the garden. In India, to symbolize the opening of the cervix during childbirth, pregnant women leave their hair loose, remove 101

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all jewelry, and keep all doors opened. After birth, the umbilical cord is delicately placed around baby’s neck. In Saudi Arabia, in accordance with Muslim tradition, babies receive their names seven days after birth during a religious ceremony. Friends and relatives gather to attend the baby's head shaving. His hair is placed on a balance with money or gold which are then given to the poor. Africa For a woman in Ethiopia, pregnancy is considered to be extremely natural. So natural, that she experiences almost no change in her daily life for the majority of her pregnancy. In Egypt, seven days after baby’s arrival, parents organize the Sebou to celebrate the birth. During this event, the new baby gets its name. Jewelry and religious gifts are also offered to the baby and the new mother. In Morocco, during birth, the midwife massages the pregnant belly and perineum with olive oil to facilitate baby’s passage. She also prepares a variety of herbs: mint, thyme, cloves, and cinnamon to relieve pain. Europe In Greece, the birth of a child brings a lot of joy to the entire community. Several days after the birth, an infant may receive personalized gifts from relatives and friends, including gold and silver, or a special stone to help avoid the "evil eye". 102

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Greek names are often chosen in honor of previous generations. Usually, the child's first name is chosen in honor of grandparents while the middle name is borrowed directly from parents. In Switzerland, it is considered as unlucky to share the name chosen for the baby before baby's birth. In Bulgaria, mothers are by far the most spoiled women with respect to maternal leave. They receive 45 days of paid leave (full pay) before the due date two full years after childbirth. They may also request an extra year without pay which will give them 3 years without having to return to work! In United Kingdom, British moms receive 39 weeks of paid maternity leave and 12 additional weeks with a partial pay.

In the Netherlands, most expectant mothers do not see an obstetrician and are recommended to a local midwife. Doctors intervene only in risky cases when complications occur. Dutch women must decide whether they wish to have a home or hospital birth. More than 50% of these women will choose to give birth at home. If a mother gives birth early in the day, and without any complications, she may leave the hospital with her baby as early as two hours after childbirth. Then, the maternity home service will take over. For seven days, a nurse visits the new mom at home.

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In Germany, midwives are also very popular. In fact, the law requires that every birth must be supported by a midwife and the presence of a doctor is optional. As soon as the woman announces she is pregnant to her employer, she can’t be fired. She can decide the date of her return to work (up to 3 years). She will receive six weeks of leave before childbirth and 8 weeks paid postnatal leave. German families do not have a lot of latitude as to the choice of baby names. Indeed, the Government has published a list of acceptable names. The names must: 1) easily tell the gender of the child 2) not harm the child in any way. South America In Guatemala, women believe that contractions can be triggered by drinking a liquid made by boiling a red onion mixed with beer. During childbirth, relatives and close friends take over household chores for 40 days. In Mexico, during childbirth, all doors and windows stay closed to protect the mother and baby against evil powers. In Brazil, elective C-section has become almost banal. The overall rate of caesarean section in Brazil is 40%. The rate is even higher in private hospitals, some with 100% rate. Women often ask doctors for a C-section, and doctors do like the procedure as well: they receive a greater amount from insurance companies and they schedule the surgery in advance making it very convenient. A C-section generally lasts 60 minutes while a natural delivery can last several hours. 104

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However, the Brazilian Government decided to attack this scourge by limiting compensation to public hospitals if their percentage of Caesarean sections exceeded 30%. Unlike some European countries, the medical profession is ubiquitous in the lives of pregnant women in Brazil. They receive all information from their doctor and not from their prenatal class, as is the case here. Brazilian expectant mothers receive royal treatment during and after pregnancy. Pampered like queens, they are buried in gifts and attention.

My thoughts? There is no “good” or “bad”... There are only misunderstood things.

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Conclusion

Hidden Power "There will be so many times where you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child, you are super mom." -

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Having not slept for several days, or even weeks, I flip a guide for new moms. My baby (my first) is just not sleeping. My little one has serious sleep disorders: she sleeps only a few hours per day but no one believes me. "But let's see! It is impossible! You must just be too tired, you need to rest.” No, I’m telling you, she never sleeps... Tired, you say? I do not know... maybe. Actually, no, I know what it is to be tired. You have no energy, you are nodding off, and your eyes close by themselves. This is not my current experience. I struggle to control eyeball muscles. I have to make an effort to look at something and I would rather say “see something” instead of “look at something “as “look” requires some presence of mind that I no longer have. A simple question becomes a riddle: what time did she feed? "When you say “she”, you mean the baby, right?” "What time? hmmm can you tell me today’s date?'' "Can I answer in time periods?'' It would be less complicated to tell you the time at which she did not feed: 3:12 pm. I had time to go to the bathroom, my new relaxation paradise, to empty my bladder almost half way. My new personal record.” Everything becomes emotional: 108

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"Why is she wearing red pajamas? You know the color red is aggressive! And you wonder why she does not sleep? Well, now you know (sobs). What did I do to deserve a heartless partner who does everything to make my life miserable?” "Going up the stairs? Do I look like a professional athlete? Do you provide oxygen?” In your free time, try to climb a staircase with concrete blocks around your feet and if you feel invincible, add a little challenge: breastfeed at the same time. I am sure, it is not fatigue... I'm exhausted. So I flip through this guide for new moms. It covers postnatal sleepless nights: "If at any time, you believe you are no longer able to perform your duty and ensure the safety of your baby, tell your doctor right away". How long will I last? The question would rather be: Am I still holding up? Talking to the doctor would be wiser. So... "Doctor, I'm really exhausted. I struggle to remain standing and I always feel like I'm going to drop my baby. When I finally sleep, I wake up in panic because I dreamt I roll over her or that I forgot her somewhere. It is not normal that my baby never sleeps. “ 109

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-Miss Lesage, I can't really do anything for you. Try to relax. It is like this at the beginning, babies never sleep long. And I was done... I understood that my husband and I were the only people responsible for ourselves and our baby. Later, we learned that our daughter had a very rare syndrome: the Morsier syndrom. Despite the fact she has a moderate version of the syndrome, she has hormonal disorders including sleep hormonal disorder. We knew the situation wasn’t be normal because a baby must sleep. We all have a hidden power. You can meet it the day you agree that you are the unique advocate of your child. Mother Nature provided you with instinct to trigger your sixth sense as a mother. The best gift you can give yourself as a parent is education. I’m not talking about “schooling” because we do not learn to become a parent at school, but “knowledge acquisition”. This knowledge will give you self-confidence and calm your anxiety. Also, it is important to keep in touch with a mentor. A mentor is a person who has the necessary knowledge and experience and who will serve as a guide during this new adventure. 110

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For the rest, the experience will tie in to this maternal symbiosis and will forever remain protected.

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RÉFÉRENCES :

DRIF, J. The start of life: à history of obstetrics, History of Medicine. http://www.societe-histoirenaissance.fr/spip.php?article44, http://pmj.bmj.com/content /78/919/311.full.pdf+html . HOLOHAN, Meghan. New study shows not harm from moderate drinking in pregnancy but experts urge caution, TODAY.COM, http://www.today.com/moms/new-studyshows-no-harm-moderate-drinking-pregnancy-expertsurge-2D11849699 . CASTILLO, Michele. Moderate drinking during pregnancy may not harm baby's neurodevelopment, CBS NEWS, http://www.cbsnews.com/news/moderatedrinking-during-pregnancy-may-not-harm-babysneurodevelopment . BOUCHER, S. La mortalité infantile de la naissance à un an. L’Union Médicale du Canada. 1902;31:531–4. CORMIER, I. Quelques notes sur la mortalité excessive des enfants dans la ville de Montréal et sur l’étude de certains moyens à prendre pour y remédier. L’Union Médicale du Canada. 1903;32:13–21. DUBÉ, J-E. La mortalité infantile et les moyens de la diminuer. L’Union Médicale du Canada. 1901;30:12–26.

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PRÉVOST, P-É. Considérations et statistiques sur la mortalité infantile. L’Union Médicale du Canada. 1901; 30:146–53. LIPPINCOTT, Williams & Wilkins. Alcohol Use in Pregnancy: Insights in Screening and Intervention for the Clinician, CLINICAL OBSTETRICS AND GYNECOLOGY, Volume 56, Number 1, 114–123, r 2013. BOSCO, Cleofinal & DIAZ, Eugenia. PHARMACOLOGY AND CELL METABOLISM: Placental Hypoxia and Fetal Development Versus Alcohol Exposure in Pregnancy, Alcohol and Alcoholism Vol. 47, No. 2, pp. 109– 117, 2012. LALONDE-GRATON, Micheline, Des Salles D'Asile Aux Centres de la Petite Enfance: La Petite Histoire des Services de Garde Au Québec, Montréal, Presses de l'Université du Québec, 2002, 414p. FOMON, S. Infant feeding in the 20th century: Formula and beikost. The Journal of Nutrition. 2001; 131(2): 409S–420S. OSBORN, MS. The rent breasts: A brief history of wetnursing. Midwife, Health Visitor & Community Nurse. 1979a; 15(8):302–306. FORSYTH, D. The History of Infant-feeding from Elizabethan Times. Proc R Soc Med. 1911;4(SECT):110–141. SANTÉ CANADA : http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/index-fra.php

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MITCHINSON, Wendy. Giving Birth in Canada, 1900-1950. University of Toronto Press, 2002, 430p.

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