Acts of John 88: John said: … [W]hen Jesus had chosen Peter and Andrew, who were brothers, he came to me and James my brother, saying: I have need of you, come to me. And my brother hearing this, said: John, what does this child on the sea-shore want, who called to us? And I said: What child? And he said to me again: The one who is beckoning to us. And I answered: Because of our long watch we have kept at sea, you do not see properly, my brother James; but do you not see the man who stands there, comely and fair and of a cheerful countenance? But he said to me: Him I do not see, brother; but let us go and we shall see what it means. 89 And so when we had brought the ship to land, we saw him also helping along with us to settle the ship: and when we departed from that place, wishing to follow him, again he appeared to me bald-headed, but with a thick and flowing beard, but to James he appeared as a youth whose beard was just starting. We were perplexed, both of us, as to the meaning of what we had seen. And after that, as we followed him, both of us became gradually more perplexed as we thought about the matter. Yet to me there appeared a yet more wonderful sight: for I would try to see him as he was, and I never at any time saw his eyes closing (blinking), but only open. And sometimes he appeared to me as a small man and unattractive, and then again as one reaching unto heaven. Also there was in him another marvel: when I sat at table he would take me upon his own breast and I held him; and sometimes breast felt to be smooth and tender, and sometimes hard, like stone, so that I was perplexed in myself and said: What does this mean? And when I was thinking about these things, he . . . [gap in text] 90 And at another time he took me and James and Peter to the mountain where he used to pray, and we saw in him such a light that it is not possible for a man who uses mortal speech to describe what it was like. Again in a similar way he led us three up to the mountain, saying: Come with me. And we went again: and we saw him at a distance praying. Now I, because he loved me, went to him quietly, as though he should not see me, and stood looking upon his back: and I saw that he was not dressed in garments, but was seen by us as naked, and not at all like a man, and that his feet were whiter than snow, so that the earth there was lit up by his feet, and that his head touched to heaven: so that I was afraid and cried out, and he, turning around, appeared as a man of small stature, and took hold of my beard and pulled it and said to me: John, be not unbelieving but believing, and not inquisitive. And I said unto him: But what have I done, Lord? And I tell you, brothers, I suffered such pain for thirty days at the place where he took hold of my beard, that I said to him: Lord, if your playful tug has given me so much pain, what if

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you had given me a beating? And he said to me: Let it be you concern from henceforth not to tempt him who is not to be tempted. 91 But Peter and James were angry because I spoke with the Lord, and beckoned to me to come to them and leave the Lord alone. And I went, and they both said unto me: He (the old man) that was speaking with the Lord upon the top of the mount, who was he? for we heard both of them speaking. And I, when I considered his great grace, and his unity which has many faces, and his wisdom which without ceasing looked upon us, said: This you shall learn if you ask him. 92 Again, when all of us disciples once were at Gennesaret sleeping in one house, after wrapping myself up I watched what he did, and first I heard him say: John, go to sleep. And thereupon I pretended to be asleep; and I saw another like him whom I also heard saying to my Lord: Jesus, those whom you have chosen still do not believe in you. And my Lord said to him: You are right, for they are men. 93 Another glory also will I tell you, brothers: Sometimes when I meant to touch him, I met a material and solid body, and at other times, again, when I felt him, the substance was immaterial and bodiless and as if it were not existing at all. And if at any time he were invited by one of the Pharisees and went where he was invited, we went with him, and there was set before each one of us a loaf of bread by our host, and he also received a loaf. And he would bless his own and divide it among us: and from that little piece each of us was filled, and our own loaves were saved whole, so that those who had invited him were amazed. And often when I was walking with him, I wished to see whether the print of his foot appeared on the earth – for I saw him raising himself from the earth – but I never saw it. And these things I speak unto you, brothers, for the encouragement of your faith toward him; for we must at the present keep silent about his mighty and wonderful works, inasmuch as they are mysteries and doubtless cannot be uttered or heard. 94 Now before he was arrested by the lawless Jews, who received their law from a lawless serpent, he gathered all of us together and said: Before I am delivered up to them let us sing a hymn to the Father, and go forth to what lies before us. So he commanded us to make a circle, holding one another's hands, and he himself sood in the middle. He said: Respond Amen to me. He then began to sing a hymn and to say: Glory be to you, Father. And we, circling him, said: Amen. Glory be to you, Word: Glory be to you, Grace. Amen. Glory be to you, Spirit: Glory be to you, Holy One: Glory be to the glory. Amen. 2

We praise you, O Father; we give thanks to thee, light, in whom darkness does not abide. Amen. 95 Now we give thanks, I say: I will be saved, and I will save. Amen. I will be loosed, and I will loose. Amen. I will be pierced, and I will pierce. Amen. I will be born, and I will bear. Amen. I will eat, and I will be eaten. Amen. I will hear, and I will be heard. Amen. I will be understood, being wholly understanding. Amen. I will be washed, and I will wash. Amen. Grace is dancing. I will pipe; dance all of you. Amen. I will mourn: lament all of you. Amen. An Ogdoad [eightfold power] is singing with us. Amen. The number Twelve is dancing above. Amen. The Whole universe takes part in the dancing. Amen. The one who does not dance, does not know what is being done. Amen. I will flee, and I will stay. Amen. I will adorn, and I will be adorned. Amen. I will be united, and I will unite. Amen. I have no house, and I have houses. Amen. I have no place, and I have places. Amen. I have no temple, and I have temples. Amen. I am a lamp to you who see me. Amen. I am a mirror to you who perceive. Amen. I am a door to you who knock on me. Amen. I am a way to you, wayfarer. Amen. 96 Now if you respond to my dancing, see yourself in me who speak, and when you have seen what I do, keep silence about my mysteries! You who dance, perceive what I do, for yours is this passion of mankind, which I am about to suffer. For you could not at all have understood what you suffer if I had not been sent to you as the Word by the Father. When you saw what I suffer, you have seen me as one suffering, and seeing it you have not stood firm but were wholly moved. Moved to become wise, you have me for a support. Rest upon me! Who am I? You shall know when I go away. What I am now seen to be, that I am not. You shall see when you come. If you knew how to suffer, you would have had the power not to suffer. Learn suffering, 3

and you shall have the power not to suffer. That which you do not know, I will teach you. I am your God, not that of the betrayer. I will that there be prepared holy souls for me. Know the word of wisdom. Again say with me: Glory be to you, Father; glory to you, Word; Glory be to you, Holy Ghost. Now concerning me, if you want to know what I was: with a word I once deceive all things and I was not put to shame at all. I have leaped: but understand the whole, and having understood it, say: Glory be to you, Father. Amen. 97 After this dance, my beloved, the Lord went out. And we were as men gone astray or dazed with sleep, and we fled this way and that. I, then, when I saw him suffer, did not stay by his suffering, but fled to the Mount of Olives, weeping over what had taken place. And when he was hung on the cross on Friday, at the sixth hour of the day, darkness came on all the earth. And my Lord stood in the middle of the cave and lit it up, and said: John, to the multitude down below in Jerusalem I am being crucified and pierced with lances and reeds, and gall and vinegar is given me to drink. But to you I am speaking, and pay attention to what I say. I put it into your mind to come up to this mountain, so that you might hear matters necessary for a disciple to learn from his teacher, and for a man to learn from his God. 98 And having said this, he showed me a cross of light set up, and around the cross a great multitude which had no one form; and in the cross was one form and one likeness And the Lord himself I saw above the cross, not having a shape, but only a voice, and a voice not such as was familiar to us, but a sweet and kind voice and one truly divine, and it said to me: John, it is necessary that one man should hear these things from me, for I have need of someone who will hear. This cross of light is sometimes called Word by me for your sakes, sometimes Mind, sometimes Jesus, sometimes Christ, sometimes Door, sometimes Way, sometimes Bread, sometimes Seed, sometimes Resurrection, sometimes Son, sometimes Father, sometimes Spirit, sometimes Life, sometimes Truth, sometimes Faith, sometimes Grace. Thus it is called for the sake of humans. But in truth, as known in itself and as spoken to us, it is the marking off of all things and the uplifting and foundation of those things that are fixed but had been unstable, and the harmony of the wisdom and indeed the wisdom of the harmony. But there are on the right and on the lift, powers, authorities, lordships and demons, operations, threatenings, wrath, devils, Satan, and the inferior root, from which the nature of the transient things proceed. 99 This cross, then, is that which has united all things by the Word, and marked off things transient and inferior, and then compacted all into one. But this is not the cross of wood which you will see when you go down there, neither am I he who is on the cross, whom 4

now you do not see, but only hear a voice. I was reckoned to be what I am not, not being what I was to many others: but they will call me something else which is vile and not worthy of me. Therefore, just as the place of rest is neither seen nor spoken of, much less shall I, the Lord of this place, be seen or spoken of. 100 Now the multitude around the cross which is the lower nature is not of one form; and those whom you see in the cross, do not have one form. That is because every member of him who came down has not yet been gathered together. But when the human nature is taken up, and the race which comes to me in obedience to my voice, then he who now hears me shall be united with it and shall no longer be what it is now, but shall be above them, as I am now. For as long as you do not call yourself mine, I am not that which I was. But if you hear me and hearken to me, then you shall be as I am, and shall be what I was, when I have you with myself. For from this you are. Therefore, ignore the many, and despise those who are outside the mystery! Know that I am wholly with the Father, and the Father with me.

101 Therefore I have suffered none of the things which they will say of me: that suffering which I showed to you and to the rest in the dance, I wish it to be called a mystery. For what you are, you see that I showed you; but what I am, that I alone know, and no one else. Let me, therefore, keep that which is mine, and that which is yours you must see through me. As for seeing me as I am in reality, I have told you this is impossible unless you are able to see me as my kinsman. You hear that I suffered, yet I did not suffer; that I suffered not, yet did I suffer; that I was pierced, yet I was not wounded; hanged, and I was not hanged; that blood flowed from me, yet it did not flow; and, in a word, those things that they say of me I did not endure, and the things that they do not say those I suffered. Now what they are I will reveal to you for I know you will understand. Perceive in me the slaying of the Logos, the piercing of the Logos, the blood of the Logos, the wounding of the Logos, the hanging of the Logos, the passion of the Logos, the nailing of the Logos, the death of the Logos. And so I speak, discarding manhood. Therefore, in the first place think of the Logos, then you shall perceive the Lord, and thirdly the man, and what he has suffered. 102 When he had spoken to me these things, and others which I know not how to say as he would have me, he was taken up, without any of the multitude having seen him. And when I went down I laughed them all to scorn, inasmuch as he had told me the things which they have said about him; and I held firmly this one thing in my mind, that the Lord contrived all things symbolically and as a dispensation toward humans, for their conversion and salvation. 5