“WHAT DOES SPIRITUAL GROWTH MEAN, IF ANYTHING?” Rev. Bruce Southworth, Senior Minister Sunday, April 28, 2013 The Community Church of New York Unitarian Universalist

A few weeks ago, at our church retreat, there was wonderful spiritual nurture. Worship, and good company; exploring dormant artistic skills in drawing, watercolor, and card making; poetry, and more worship… and the out of doors. Quiet time and fun. I was especially looking forward to our hike along a rocky stream… a bit of communing with nature, one of my spiritual delights. As we were leaving the meeting areas, along the way, there was a steep, small hill, and a half a dozen children began running up and down with the energy that blesses those under age 10. For me, at that moment, I was seized by their spirit and joined in two or three brief sprints… first running up and then flying back down. I was loudly welcomed by their squeals and shouts, as I also gently encouraged a few other adults to join in. It felt good to be that child again. The first part of the hike for me was an unwelcome balancing act… a bit too many rocks and exposed roots, too much brush along the trail, a sometimes deeply slanted, sloping, slippery path with too damp, too soft earth, and a few too many branches that had to be held back, or fallen trees to be traversed. The abiding, healing, comforting Nature Mystic in me receded – certainly, there were a few moments of grace with the stream’s flow and forest’s expanse, and time and talk with church members… but it was far from what I was expecting and had remembered so many times before. It is fair to say that I was unfairly grousing to myself a little bit about Nature’s disappointing my very proper expectations of an idyllic, charming walk in the woods. Then, happily, our path turned … across a little wooden bridge, or bridgelet, toward the pasture that quickly rose 20 or 30 feet to much higher ground. Catching up with the adventurous children, I couldn’t help myself. “Let’s go,” I shouted and started running up the hill. I had a momentary head start. An eight-year-old and a six-year-old closed quickly, then the others, for a few moments, we ran even. In keeping with my plan, I soon slowed to a walk, happy for them that they were zipping along, and happy for me to have run like the wind… at least for a moment. 1 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

Of course, the whole thing was a good reminder that spiritual disciplines like walking in the woods (or meditation, or prayer, or running, or mindfulness, or art, or singing, or devotional readings, or poetry, or literature, or philosophy, or theology, or helping clean up after Sandy, or working for immigration reform, or a 12-step group, or volunteering at our shelter, or other deeds of service or of inward search) these do not necessarily guarantee those deep feelings of wonder and connection, even as satisfying as they may be inherently. Yet, moments of grace may appear in unexpected ways unprompted. The spirit – the Spirit of Life – Life’s Beauty and its Blessing… the Spirit of Life blows where it will, and even when we raise our sails, it may be elusive. And even then, we may yet be surprised by joy. Spiritual growth as a matter of a balancing act is one primary theme this morning, along with the practice of centering, of being present in the moment, but also letting go, when necessary, of expectations. “What does spiritual growth mean, if anything?” has long been of interest to me. In the fall of my first year of seminary, one class ended with an assignment to write down a defining, personal religious experience. I was clueless. Literally. Absolutely. Maybe the professor meant talking with Jesus, or God, or visions, or seeing a burning bush like Moses? Growing up as a Unitarian Universalist quite a few decades ago, I had no language for or discussions about spiritual growth or religious experience. After class, in speaking with the professor, I reported that all I had was every day, ordinary experience, lots of them, many in fact, which evoked my curiosity, awe and wonder and/or anger or sadness. Or connection with Life’s mystery and beauty. But no “religious” or “spiritual experiences” that I could think of. My recollection is that she said, “Go for it.” It did not seem helpful, but I did end up focusing on a walk in the Smokey Mountains on Clingman’s Dome, which I have sometimes spoken about with its serenity and utter at-homeness. From this exercise, I learned that I had had a religious experience, or could frame it that way if guided in that direction. That unhelpful teacher turned out to be deft after all… and how we choose to tell the stories of our lives makes a world – sometimes a lifetime – of difference. That springtime mountaintop walk was akin to hearing scriptures invoking a “still, small voice” (I Kings 19:12), for me better translated as “a thin slice of silence”, which as a poet says, “cheers and blesses.” (Robert Lewis Stevenson) 2 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

I am again equally reminded that “spiritual” talk, or God-talk, or religious experience may not be useful language or symbols for everyone in speaking about their meaning-making. If that is your case, this morning I offer in a way the same invitation to look at ordinary experiences just as my professor invited me to do. The challenges abound. I recall a conversation between two colleagues, as reported by one of them. Speaking by phone, one of them hears in the background the lively words of a toddler as well as a newborn’s fussing. Then the doorbell rings, the dog barks, and our colleague’s clothes dryer begins to beep that a cycle is over and “wrinkle-free” requires getting the clothes out and folding them. When asked, “how things were going”, the friend answers, “Actually, they’re a little hectic – I’m going to New York tomorrow to lead a four day retreat.” “Oh, on what?” [she]… asked. “On ‘Living the Balanced Spiritual Life,’” she said and then she added, “Isn’t that the joke of the century?” “The pressure is on to take the pressure off.” (Jane Rzepka, Zip Lines…, 132) Balancing… or re-balancing, it is as simple as riding a bike, but stuff happens: the Boston Marathon bombings, explosions in Texas, and renewed threats of chemical attacks and of nuclear weapons being deployed…. Or, perhaps it is just ordinary stuff: Work, or lack of it. Loneliness… Or divorce, or serious illness, or irritating minor illness, family problems, death of a family member… your crazy uncle or aunt, or you child’s test results or grades… or unexpected bills, or your son or daughter made a mistake, or you did… or … whatever it is in your life that throws you off balance. Balance… Clarity… Perspective… In the midst of secular society, with so many false gods, and deceptions, and in the midst of personal discontents or wounds, some measure of spiritual balance can help. So, we gather, and we do so with a suspicion and even faith that there are enduring values and new choices available, perhaps the real possibility of new, different behaviors; intimations of rightness with the world… deep down faith we can find the strength within to embrace Life. And spiritual growth happens differently for each of us. Some of us are at home in ideas; some of us are mystics. Some are in distress and need an intervention. Some just a kind word. Some a caring community. Some of us develop habits – disciplines of centering, or mindfulness, or of gratitude, or so much more.… 3 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

Spiritual growth is a curious thing, and we inherited, for some of us, the notion that it takes us out of the world. However, a host of religious leaders, spiritual leaders, in the 20th century from Gandhi to Dr. King, redefined Spiritual living and embraced prophetic spirituality with an active engagement toward justice. Spirituality as escape from the world comes from medieval traditions of monasticism, but I also think back to one of the reports by William Least Heat Moon in his spiritual journey titled, Blue Highways. [The title takes its meaning from his driving across country on the state roads, the blue highways on the maps rather than the Interstate superhighways.] In visiting a Trappist monastery, he talked with several of the monks, and to his surprise, they offered wisdom, not medieval gibberish. The monks among other things told him that the life they have chosen is not meant for everyone; each of us has a unique path to follow that is personally one's own. He describes the lunch they shared with him as combination of “monastic sparseness and a Little League picnic: on a plain white plate, boiled cabbage, a boiled potato, figs, rye bread and a hotdog; raspberry Kool-Aid to drink.” (80) Over lunch, the monks talked about papal encyclicals and the chances of the Atlanta Braves to win a pennant. One monk who had been on Wall Street told him: “Talking about the spiritual life is a lot of crap. You just live it.” It was a mixture of work, reflection, community and certainly more worship – basically singing – than most of us indulge in. That is how they found balance in their lives and touched the wellsprings of life. With that warning about talking about the spiritual life, I’ll tread carefully I hope. Not knowing about “spiritual life” or “religious experiences”, early on I read widely and more important explored a host of paths. Sitting meditation just did not draw me in, but Zen meditations of mindfulness did. Thich Nhat Hanh’s invitation to wash the dishes with appreciative awareness of the warm water, the suds, the rinse of water, the care of placing in a drying rack… of each step…. To wash with awareness, instead of with only a goal of clean dishes, made immediate sense to me…. As have walking meditations…. I am reminded of my son as a three-year-old who might take ten, even fifteen minutes to walk a block as he greeted each bird, or bug, or person, or doorway, or plant or pigeon. So, sometimes I take such walk. Or, sometimes, I find a moment to sit, in my own quiet center, that somehow keeps out the city noise. 4 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

Or, I turn to meditations from those like Howard Thurman, or poetry, but also theology at times. Or, traditional religious scriptures refresh and remind me of beauty, and service, and action, and they energize me. We all have favorites, or can come to find them: perhaps the Golden Rule. Or, it might be wisdom from the Bhagavad-Gita that counsels us to act with compassion but never become too attached to the fruits of our actions, to the outcomes. When I think about myself and times when I feel out of sorts, When I am losing a sense of balance, When I am losing my perspective, When irritations of the day, or irritating people consume my thoughts, When I lose energy, or perhaps worst of all a sense of humor, When I may be too attached to things or to outcomes, When I may be dwelling on the past, or lamenting a lost opportunity, Whenever I forget those disciplines of the spirit that keep me in the balance and health and thankfulness for the giftedness of Life for which I strive, then I do what I can to recall myself to those exercises of the spirit that refresh and heal me. It does occur to me to offer a simple, profound guidepost for the spiritual life. It is not 100% foolproof, but it is not that hard to follow. The Spiritual Life: Pursue, attend to, embrace, and honor all actions that start with the letter C. The letter C … for example, Centering, Curiosity, Caring, Community, Cosmos, Creativity, Context (that is, be here now; know where you are and why). You know: things like Compassion, Conviviality, Caresses, Compunction, Collegiality and Connection, and let’s not forget Character and Choice…. And Consciousness and Conscience – both mindfulness and the moral center. Let’s also add Kindness, Laughter and Love (because there are some things that help us to grow our souls that do not begin with the letter C). And gratitude. All things that begin with the letter C, except the ones that you already know damage your soul: things like Cruelty, Cockiness, Callousness, and Consumerism… probably a few others, but you know in your heart the ones that don’t work. You get the idea! 5 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

Balancing… Letting go of expectations or attachments that harm… Welcome the calm soul of all things… Embracing the gift of Life…. Choosing to center…. Spiritual Growth adds Clarity. Another “C” word! The balance, which Father Daniel Berrigan reported for himself some years ago, his balance, is his own, and his clarity is a model. Father Berrigan observed, “I work in a cancer hospital in New York. I go periodically to the Pentagon, break the law, and am shunted into court and into jail. I honor Paul’s admonition: ‘Be not conformed to this world.’ I like to translate the words in my own way [Berrigan says] ‘Try to be as marginal as possible to madness.’” I also appreciate the observation of a juggler in Washington Square Park. A large crowd had gathered around him to watch his very complicated and difficult juggling act. Then, one of the objects fell and hit the ground. A disappointed, almost anxious sound went through those surrounding him. The juggler responded: “It’s Ok folks. It just fell!” And he repeated that it was ok… and then said, “If this makes you too worried, look, I can juggle on the ground so that none of them will fall.” And he started pushing the objects on the ground back and forth. (Gayle Lehman-Becker) Which is to say, among many things, we sometimes lose balance, and it is ok. Something we are juggling may fall, will fall… and it is ok. Some hints along the way about spiritual life: o Explore; o Smile; o Be present, here, now; o Be grateful; o Help others; o Don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s all small stuff, and go with the flow when you need to; o Know thyself; o Be vulnerable but not stupid; o Honor creation and others; o Share your light; o Enjoy the journey. Also, it occurs to me that one sign of the spiritual life appears in those who are truly good. And we know some are here. Quite a few here, yea, even most of us.

6 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth

In addition, among you and others whom you know, there are those who are truly and deeply good…. Here, or wherever in your life, they have a certain radiance… not perfection… but a spirit that makes us be better too. When I think of those who show Spirit, live with Spirit, who are centered, even radiant, the fruits of the spirit abound: “… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-3) Perhaps, most of all a profound goodness. Which leads me to think that Spiritual Growth, as much as it means balance, clarity, perspective, strength and all those C words, means aspiring and living as a Good person…. Be a very, very good person… and everything else will be ok (in the big picture of our lives). To be sure, I do not know what you most need in this season of your life, where you are headed, what habits sustain and transform you, what comforts, blesses and challenges… what you need to avoid. I can just offer these hints, reminders, of what you know. Whatever your choices, may Life’s Spirit continue to open you to fuller living, deeper caring, and ever more Beauty. As Ramakrishna reminds us, “The winds of God’s grace/Life’s grace are always blowing, and we have to raise our sails.” As Anne Lamott reminds us from her priest friend, when times are tough: “Left foot… right foot… left foot … Breathe…” “Left foot… right foot… left foot … Breathe…”

7 ©2013 Rev. Bruce Southworth