OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL

Post Office Box 220 • Jackson, MS 39205-0220 • 601-359-3680 / Toll Free: 800-829-6766 • www.agjimhood.com

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN A PARENT PLAN

FOR

SAFETY (PREPARATION, LISTENING, AWARENESS, NURTURING)

Dear Fellow Mississippi Parents:

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s parents, we should implement a PLAN to protect our children. As your Attorney General and the parent of three, I feel it is one of my duties to help ensure the safety of those least able to protect themselves, our children.

Children are vulnerable to being enticed into dangerous situations by predators who prey on their innocence and trust. “Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN” has been compiled by my staff to help you keep your children safe. There are four elements of our PLAN. First, we must Prepare our children to make positive, healthy choices. Second, we must really Listen to what children tell us every day. Third, we must be Aware of our children’s friends, habits, school environment, and so forth. Fourth, and probably the most important, we must Nurture our children, so that they will share their thoughts and feelings with us and mature into healthy, caring adults.

OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL POST OFFICE BOX 220 JACKSON, MS 39205-0220 601-359-3680 www.agjimhood.com www.ago.state.ms.us

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tatistics from the Department of Justice show that out of 326 sexual assault victims, 74% knew the perpetrator well, and 21.1% of this number were members of the victim’s family.

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BI statistics indicate that a child has a 100% chance of meeting a predator in an Internet chat room.

Table of Contents Introduction

2

Parent Safety Net Rules

2

Facts About Child Sexual Abuse

3

Common Methods Predators Use

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On-Line Safety

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Child Care Safety

8

Lost or Missing Children

10

JIM HOOD

Substance Abuse

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ATTORNEY GENERAL STATE OF MISSISSIPPI

Warning Signs

15

Drinking

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Tobacco

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Resources

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Chat Abbreviations

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With a PLAN in place, we will be better equipped to protect our children. I hope this guide is beneficial for you as we work together to keep Mississippi’s children safe. Sincerely,

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ital factors in ensuring child Introduction safety are: Preparation, Listening, Awareness, and Nurturing. Because dangerous situations are real in a child’s world, parents must use every measure available to protect their children. Unfortunately, parents cannot be with their child at all times, so this PLAN provides parents with some indicators of predatory behavior, steps to implement, precautionary guidelines to follow and some basic safety skills for children. The majority of abducted or exploited children are victimized by someone they know, not a stranger. This is a critical fact for both you and your children. Unfortunately, children are often told only to be suspicious of persons who are unfamiliar or unknown to them. Instead, children should be instructed to be on the alert for certain situations and actions, rather than just certain types of individuals. Strangers often approach children on the Internet. FBI statistics indicate that a child has a 100% chance of meeting a predator in an Internet chat room. Also, a report on the nation’s youths found that in

2004 approximately one in five children ages 10 to 17 received a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet. The significance of these facts should motivate parents to caution their children that an adult stranger may try to “befriend” them over the Internet, even going so far as to pose as another child. Children should be told to trust their instincts when a situation seems uncomfortable to them. Make sure they know that it is okay to say “no,” even to an adult when they feel uncomfortable. Of course children should be taught to be courteous to others, but not at the risk of their personal safety. Read the Parent PLAN, then commit to teaching your child the skills presented. Arm them with the knowledge that they need to live protected today while training them to live safely as adults.

Parent Safety Net - A Checklist of Key Safety Rules (Compiled from a publication from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children)

• Know where your child is at all times; check in • Remind him that it is okay to say “no” to anyone • • •

• •

•

with each other often, most especially before and after changing locations. Never leave a child alone in a vehicle. Caution him not to accept rides from anyone he does not know or to walk near parked cars, especially unfamiliar ones. When your child goes out, make sure he is not alone; try the buddy system. Advise him not to take shortcuts through wooded, remote or unfamiliar areas. Listen to your child! Note any changes in attitude or behavior. Pay attention if your child says that he does not want to be at a certain place or in the company of a specific adult. Encourage him to trust his own feelings or instincts about situations. Practice safety measures with your child while in public locations, so that he will know how to respond if he is ever at risk.

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

in any situation that feels uncomfortable.

• In addition to teaching your child to be able to

• •

•

•

call you when you are away from home, remember to teach him how to call 911 and how to call home collect. Instruct him never to tell callers that he is home alone. Keep updated photos of your child and a record of basic information that would be used if he were lost or missing. Also, it is important to remember what your child is wearing everyday. Get to know your child’s friends and their parents. Know your neighbors and arrange for a particular neighborhood home to be a “safe house” for your child to go if he feels afraid when you are not at home. Encourage your child to be cautious at all times. Stress that he does not have to be afraid of all strangers or unfamiliar situations but to be aware and cautious.

Facts That Parents Should Know About Child Sexual Abuse

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hild abusers are often known to their victims or even related to them. Statistics from the Department of Justice show that out of 326 sexual assault victims, 74% knew the perpetrator well and 21.1% of this number were members of the victim’s family. Be certain that children understand that a predator may be someone they know and trust. Knowing correct physiological terminology is important for a child. When he has this knowledge, he has the words to report what is happening to him. Jurors in child sexual abuse cases have stated that child victims are more believable when testifying about abuse if they are capable of expressing themselves in an informed way. This is achieved when they use correct terminology in explaining how they were violated. Be aware that child sexual abuse occurs even when there is no physical contact, i.e. inappropriate touching. Non-contact abuse includes exposure, voyeurism and child pornography. Parents should always be on the lookout for signs of possible sexual abuse. Some warning signs may be: inappropriate sexual knowledge, sexual interest or sexual acting out by the child, fear of certain persons, physical complaints, sleep disturbances, withdrawal from normal activities, depression, discipline problems, school problems, hostility, aggression, or self-destructive behavior. If there are indicators of sexual abuse, or if you are told by a child that sexual abuse has occurred, take this seriously. Reassure him that he has done nothing wrong, arrange for a doctor visit for an examination and contact the local child advocacy center for an appointment.

Myth Parents will always know if their child is a victim of abuse. Fact Children usually do not reveal abuse until they are adults.

Common Methods Predators Use

to Attract and Control Their Victims • • • • •

Posing as the victim’s “buddy” or “pal” Pretending to need help or assistance Using “authority figure” influence over a victim Promising gifts or entertainment to the victim Flattering a victim or promising celebrated jobs such as modeling or acting • Intimidating the victim through bullying, taunting or teasing • Claiming to be a family acquaintance or friend • Posing as an Internet “friend”

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“Buddy” or “Pal”

predator, posing as a victim’s buddy, gains a child’s trust by being friendly and attentive. What begins as an innocent understanding or kindness can accelerate into abuse. A child who has enjoyed the regular attention may endure ongoing abuse to preserve the relationship. Also, a child may not report abuse to protect the “friend” from getting in trouble and going away. ACTION STEPS: • Instill in your child the idea that it is wrong for anyone to touch him in his “swimming suit zone.” The American Academy of Pediatrics defines the “swimming suit zone” as any area of the body which is covered by a swimming suit. Teach your child to say “No” to anyone who tries to touch him in these areas. • Volunteer to participate in your child’s activities which involve other adults. • Assure your child that he can talk to you about anything. • Get to know anyone, child or adult, who becomes a friend or mentor to your child. • Be curious if your child suddenly develops a strong dislike for someone or someplace or constantly wants to spend time with a certain person or at a specific place. • Immediately investigate if a young child begins acting out sexually and determine how the inappropriate behavior was learned.

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Pretending to Need Help/Assistance

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Needing Help or Assistance

hether it is giving directions, looking for a lost pet, or agreeing to perform a job or errand, a child is likely to be eager to help. However, innocent goodwill may be dangerous in that a predator may take advantage of a child by asking for help. An opposite approach often used by predators is to offer children help, claiming that there is an emergency regarding the child’s home or family. ACTION STEPS: • Warn your child to avoid unfamiliar cars approaching him; the child should stay at a distance. Should an unfamiliar car approach, the child should run in the opposite direction. • Teach your child to ignore adults who ask for directions or help. • Explain to your child that pets are often used by predators to tempt him to enter houses, yards or out-of-the-way places. A child should never assist someone looking for a pet or go view a new pet without you or another trusted adult present.

• Remind your child to get permission before agreeing to perform any type of errand or job for someone. • Accompany your child on job interviews (e.g. babysitting) especially if he is going to a location unfamiliar to both of you. • Accompany your child if he is involved in door-todoor sales or solicitations. • Teach your child that you or another trusted adult will contact him if a family emergency occurs, and that he would not learn of such from anyone else. • Caution your child never to open the door when home alone.

Myth Child abusers usually have only one victim. Fact Child abusers usually have multiple victims, sometimes even hundreds.

Flattering or Promising “Celebrity Type” Employment

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predator may flatter older children by offering the perfect modeling or acting job. This person may insist that he needs to interview or audition the child immediately, or take her somewhere to be photographed. In the excitement of the moment, the child may forget that the offer could be a trick. A predator may be manipulating the child into going to

an unsafe location. ACTION STEPS: • Always insist on accompanying your child to any sort of audition, interview or photography session. • Verify that the company being represented is actually auditioning or interviewing in your area.

The Family Friend or Acquaintance

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hildren may think they can trust an unfamiliar adult if that person knows the child’s name or family name. Parents should never put a child’s name in an obvious place on clothing, backpacks, or sports equipment. A child may not realize that a stranger knows his name solely because it is printed on his belongings. ACTIONS STEPS: • Require that your child never go anywhere with a stranger even if that person knows his name. • Remind your child that just because someone calls his name, that does not mean that this person is a friend. Page 4

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

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“Authority Figure” Power

n authority figure, like a buddy, may take advantage of a child. He uses the child’s respect for him and desire for attention as a strategic device to gain power. Authority figures may intimidate or force a child into complying with an abusive situation. Unfortunately, a child must even be on guard around individuals with badges or uniforms since sometimes predators will disguise themselves in order to deceive a child. ACTION STEPS: • Give permission for your child to say “No” to an authority figure who makes him feel apprehensive. • Teach your child to trust only those uniformed individuals (such as police officers) who are in official vehicles.

Gifts and Entertainment

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redators may sometimes give or promise gifts and fun activities to attract children. Naturally, children enjoy receiving toys (or other age-specific gifts), candy, money, or promises of entertainment. These are powerful tools that may be used to entice children from familiar surroundings and into the predator’s control. Alcohol and other drugs also may be given to children, with or without their knowledge. If this happens, children may become even more vulnerable. ACTION STEPS: • Warn your child that gifts may sometimes be a tactic to gain trust, so that a predator can take advantage of him. • Check sources of unexplained gifts given to your child. • Remind your child not to allow any touching in his “swimming suit zone” while playing any sort of contact sport or game with older children or adults. • Activities involving physical contact may precede abusive touching by a predator. Tell your child not to participate in games involving handcuffs or other restraints. • Instruct your child never to accept food or drink from someone he does not know well. • Stress to your child the importance of saying “No” to alcohol and other drugs. Make him aware of the fact that alcohol is a drug, one that is illegal for him to use.

Posing as an Internet “Friend” hildren should be aware that pedophiles and con artists pose as children or adolescents on the Internet. They may fabricate facts and situations in order to relate to the child. The perpetrator learns who a child is and where he is without the child ever realizing he is communicating with an adult. Once a child is online, he is able to exchange information with anyone else who is online.

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ACTION STEPS: • Keep your computer in a family room or den, not in your child’s bedroom. • Have your child participate in rule setting for Internet usage.

Intimidation Through Bullying, Taunting, Teasing

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predator may use bullying, taunting or teasing to intimidate children into abusive situations. This intimidation may occur by words or with a weapon. Because an adult is much larger, children may be frightened into compliance. Bullies may not always be adults; they may also be children who threaten other children in parks, on school playgrounds or even in a victim’s own neighborhood. Due to the onset of school related violence, it is essential for parents to know their children’s state of mind. Equally important, parents must also be alert for bullying behaviors exhibited by their children. Either circumstance can lead to troubling or violent behavior. ACTION STEPS: • Impress upon your child that threats against him are wrong and must be reported to the authorities immediately. Remind him that any threat to him or from him is wrong. • Make a plan with your child about what to do if he is being bullied (e.g., yell or run to the nearest safe place). • Be aware of your child’s feelings about school and interactions with his peer group. If he is feeling inferior, arrange for counseling in order to find solutions. • Make an effort to ensure that your child is not a bully. If you discover this is the case, get to the root of the behavior and end it before someone gets hurt.

• Remember that your child has Internet access away from home and remind him that the rules apply at every computer, at home or elsewhere. • Investigate the variety of parental controls, filtering or blocking software and spyware protectors available. www.agjimhood.com

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Online Safety

Do’s and Don’ts For Internet Use

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espite the dangers already listed, the Internet is a wonderful resource. More and more people are going online to gain knowledge, be entertained, and to communicate all over the world. Parents should learn as much as they can about “surfing” the Internet in order to safeguard children from harmful contacts and material. It is also important to be familiar with instant messaging (“IMing”) and chat rooms. Know which chat rooms your child may be visiting. Also, be aware that information posted on the Internet may be uncensored. Parents and children should spend some time on the Internet together, so that parents may give children practical advice about the advantages and risks of Internet use. Education of both parents and children is one of the best deterrents to child victimization.

Chatroom Safety

• Do talk only to people you know on the Internet. • Do keep your user profile private. • Do log off when you are finished chatting. • Don’t meet anyone in person that you have met in a chatroom. • Don’t give out your phone number to anyone you have met in a chatroom.

Identity Theft • Do keep your name and Social Security Number private. • Do talk to your parents about things you see on the Internet. • Do keep your home information and location private. • Don’t share your user ID and password with anyone.

• • • •

Internet Ethics Do use the computer to help with your schoolwork. Do respect other people’s work saved on the computer. Do be nice to your friends online. Don’t use the Internet to talk to strangers.

Additions to Resource List Office of the Attorney General: www.agjimhood.com National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health: www.ncemch.org/alert The Jason Foundation, Inc.: www.jasonfoundation.com/student.html The Jason Foundation, Community Assistance Resource Line: 1-877-778-2275 Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., Consumer Awareness and Education: 1-800-359-8255 American Council on Alcoholism: 1-800-527-5344 The Betty Ford Center: 1-800-854-9211 The Partnership for a Healthy Mississippi: www.healthy-miss.org/partnershipworks

Online Safety: What Parents Should Know • Learn Internet vocabulary in order to understand your child’s Internet conversations. (Eg:. “CU” means “see you” or “CUL8ER” means “see you later.”) A list of chat abbreviations and their meanings, compiled by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, is included in this guide. • Remind children that the Internet is a “public” place and not to write anything there that he would not want to be public knowledge. • Teach your child to use proper etiquette. Courtesy such as showing respect and being polite should be practiced when online. Children should remember that the words used online should be words that are appropriate when talking with someone face to face, by telephone, etc. • Make a rule that personal information (i.e. full Page 6

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

• • • •

name, age, address, school name, telephone numbers or financial information such as credit card numbers) is not to be given out when communicating in chat rooms or through e-mail with persons you do not know. Never send out family photographs over the Internet to unfamiliar e-mail addresses or to public websites. Caution your child to ignore scary, threatening or harassing online messages and to let you know about them immediately. Children should be told not to open e-mail attachments from persons unknown or download pictures from unfamiliar sources. Tell your child to remember that people he meets over the Internet may not be who they say they are.

Special Tips for Parents of Teens

Blogging

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name suggests, really is instant communication. As soon as a message is typed and sent, it appears on the screen of the individual to whom it is sent. This very popular form of communication among teens has potential dangers as well. Uncertainty about the identity of those with whom teens might be talking is a major disadvantage for parents. Some services through which teens IM offer a profile option, allowing them to enter personal informaChat rooms, considered to be the tion about themselves which can most dangerous of areas on the be viewed by the public. Internet, may be especially troublesome for teens. Chat rooms E-mail is more like regular mail in may be public, with participation that a message is sent to a person in live global conversations, or and that recipient has the option private, where only a few partici- of responding. However, e-mail pate. Adult predators and teens can be sent out to thousands of use public chat rooms. Teens, of persons at a time, just like a mass course, have no way of knowing mailing. Teens may be on a mass that they are communicating with e-mail list and receive mail from adults. Teens can also be enticed companies or persons they do not from public chat rooms into pri- even know. They should be vate ones where there is the po- warned not to open or respond to tential for harassment and exploi- mail from unknown e-mail adtation by adult predators. They dresses; it may contain links to also can be exposed to material pornographic or other inapproprithat is sexual, hateful, or violent in ate sites. Teens should also be nature, or that encourages illegal aware that any e-mail response sent by them could potentially be or dangerous activities. copied or forwarded without their Instant messaging (IM), as the knowledge or permission. e aware that teens may be more at risk of being victimized by predators online than younger children. This is because teens may have more frequent, unsupervised access to the computer. The online discussions in chat rooms can potentially involve people from around the world; there are no limitations. Therefore, teens can form relationships with a variety of people from a variety of places.

"blog" (short for "web log") is an online journal where people can publish entries about their personal experiences, ideas, and hobbies. While blogs can be an exciting outlet for creativity and selfexpression, younger users should be made aware of the dangers associated with the use of popular teen blog sites such as Xanga.com. Pedophiles often frequent these sites posing as teens to start relationships with would-be victims. It is common for kids to post pictures of themselves, their full names, addresses, the name of their school, and their extracurricular activities on their blog sites. This seemingly harmless information makes it easy for a predator to locate a child. Parents should talk openly with their children about on-line predators in an effort to help reduce the number of children who are victimized.

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Warning Signs That A Child May Be In Danger Online (Adapted from FBI Publications - A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety)

• The child spends a great deal of time online, especially at night. • You find pornography on the child’s computer. • The child receives telephone calls from adults whom you do not know or makes telephone calls to numbers that you do not recognize. • The child receives mail, gifts or packages from persons whom you do not know.

• The child withdraws from normal interaction with family and friends.

• The child has a noticeable change in behavior, attitudes or beliefs. • The child has a significant decrease in academic performance. • The child turns the computer off or quickly changes the screen when you enter the room. www.agjimhood.com

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Checking Your Child’s Internet Activity (Adapted from the Utah ICAC Task Force’s Publication A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety)

How to review Internet history: To find out which web sites and pages that your child may have recently viewed while online, click on the “History” button on your Internet browser. A list of the viewed sites will then drop down. How to review temporary Internet files: You can review the temporary Internet sites that your child has accessed by first clicking on the “My Computer” icon. Next click on the “C” drive and then on the “Windows” folder. Click on the “Temp” folder and then on the “Temporary Internet Files” folder to access the list.

Child Care Safety Day-Care Safety

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hen searching for the right day-care facility for your child, a good place to start is with the recommendations of family, friends and neighbors. Parents also can find a listing of day-care centers licensed by the Department of Health online at www.healthyms.com/food/ default.asp or by calling 1-866HLTHY4U (1-866-458-4958). Parents should tour facilities, speak with the staff, and make a point to observe the interactions between the children and the staff. Thankfully, children generally are

safe from exploitation and abuse ents are acceptable. By law, liwhile in licensed day-care facilicensed day-care operators are ties. To narrow the choices, parrequired to give parents access ents may want to consider the to the facility at all times. following when choosing a facil- • Be certain that there are no arity: eas where a child could be isolated. • Contact references provided by • Confirm that the children are the facility. Talk with parents of well supervised by several emchildren already enrolled there. ployees during their nap times. • Ask questions about the educa- • Inquire about the facility’s discition and training of the day-care plinary policies. employees. Inquire about the • After enrolling your child at a type of screening process used facility, take an active role in the in hiring. center by volunteering at some • Ensure that no areas of the facilof the day-care’s activities. ity are off limits to parents and • Discuss with your child daily that unexpected visits by parwhat happens at the facility.

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arents will need a sitter for their children at some point, whether only for an evening out or all day while the parent is at work. Because parents want the best possible care for their children, it is advisable to interview several prospective sitters. Be sure that your prospects are mature, experienced, responsible people who truly enjoy children. As with day-care facilities, a good way to find prospective sitters is through the recommendations of family, friends and neighbors. Also, you may want to advertise through local high schools, churches or other organizations you trust.

Baby-Sitter Safety

After finding a potential sitter, it is wise to: • Check all references very carefully. • Verify a sitter’s contact information such as address, telephone numbers, and other places of employment. If the sitter is not an adult, ask to meet the sitter’s parents. • Observe interaction with your child. • Ask your child if he liked the sitter after their first meeting. Page 8

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

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Myth Child abusers (pedophiles) can be cured.

Fact Pedophiles have an incurable mental illness. They can be treated but not cured.

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New Neighborhoods

oving to a new neighborhood is a big change for the whole family, and it is important to establish guidelines for children so that they will be safe in their new surroundings. • Teach your child his new address and telephone number. • Check the state sex offender registry to determine whether there are registered sexual offenders living nearby. In Mississippi this can be done by visiting www.mdps.state.ms.us, www.familywatchdog.us or www.ago.state.ms.us. • Be sure that your child knows how to get to certain locations in the new neighborhood, such as the bus stop or a new school. • Remind your child that he must always check with you before going anywhere with new friends. • Make a point of meeting new neighbors and their families.

After School Safety

ince more parents are working full-time outside of the home, more children are coming home alone after school and staying there until a parent returns from work. Consider these factors before allowing your child to stay home alone after school: • Determine whether there is a community after school program available for your child. • Let your child tell you how he feels about being at home alone. • Decide whether you think your child is responsible enough to be home alone for a specified amount of time. When your child is to be left home alone after school, be sure to have in place: • Specific instructions on how to contact you or another trusted adult. • Defined rules to be followed until you get home, such as homework, chores, and TV watching schedules. • An identified neighbor’s house as a safe place to go if your child becomes frightened. • A list of telephone numbers your child might need while alone, including numbers for police, fire de-

partment, doctor, poison-control center, etc. • The names of “safe people” or “safe places” if you live in an apartment building. Other possible guidelines: • Remind your child to check the house before entering. He should look for broken windows, open doors, etc. If he finds these types of things, instruct the child not to enter but to go to the nearest safe neighbor’s house to call you and the police. • Instruct your child to call you immediately to let you know that he is safely home with doors locked. • Discuss with your child the places he is allowed to go in the neighborhood, and who may visit when you are not home. • Instruct your child not to open the door when you are gone unless it is for someone you have arranged to be there. • Decide with your child what he will say to callers when you are not home.

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Runaway Children Why a Child May Run Away

• A family crisis such as divorce, separation, • • • • •

or death Desire for freedom and a “hassle-free” life, without parents Fear of punishment Feeling that parents expect too much of him/her Only option for handling problems Forced to leave by parent

Signs that a Child May Be Thinking of Running Away • Changes in behavior patterns: isolation, frequent sleeping, not eating, changes in friends • Rebellious behavior such as being argumentative, getting lower grades, breaking rules at home and school • Threats of running away •Accumulation of money or possessions

If your child is lost or missing

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f you become certain that your child is lost or missing, several steps should be taken immediately. • Call your local law enforcement agency. Mississippi now has an Amber Alert System managed by the Mississippi Department of Public Safety. If a child is missing, a local law enforcement agency can make a report to the Department of Public Safety which will then issue an Amber Alert if the required criteria are met. Visit the Mississippi Department of Public Safety’s website at www.dps.state.ms.us for the requirements for an Amber Alert.

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• Search your home and its vicin• • •

• •

ity. Call neighbors, family and friends and keep a list of whom you have contacted. Check all locations your child frequents. Search your child’s room, school locker, desk, and computer for clues to where he may have gone. Call area hospitals and transportation terminals. Contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s 24-hour hotline, 1-800-THELOST.

Prevention Tips

• Listen to your child. (If

•

• • •

you think that he is considering running away, encourage him to discuss his feelings with you.) Provide accurate information about sex, alcohol and other drugs; don’t lecture. Encourage responsible decision making by your child. Encourage your child and help to build his self-esteem. Seek professional help, if necessary.

How to Stay Prepared in the Event that a Child is Lost or Missing

arents can take steps now to help locate their child in the event he or she becomes lost or is missing. Keep updated photographs and descriptive information of your child. Ensure that your dentist has up-to-date records on your child. Pediatricians should have updated records, including notations of scars, birthmarks, broken bones, and medical needs. Have your child fingerprinted at your local police department. Consider getting a DNA sample from your child. Commercial collection kits are available for parents. Learn ways to collect DNA from your child through the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children website at www.missingkids.com. Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Myth Most children are abused by strangers. Fact The majority of children either know or are related to their abuser.

Indicators of Substance Abuse In Adolescents

Safety When Shopping With Children

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ven though parents never intend to get separated from their children in public, it happens. These guidelines may be helpful. • Instruct your child to stay with you at all times. • Tell your child that he should get the help of a “safe person” such as a security guard or store employee if separated from you in public. • Always accompany children to public restrooms. • Do not leave children alone at theaters, arcades or stores.

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t is essential to remember that many of the symptoms of substance abuse are common characteristics of young people, especially in adolescence. This means extreme caution must be exercised to avoid misidentifying and inappropriately stigmatizing a youngster. Never overestimate the significance of a few indicators. The guidelines describe warning signs of substance use disorders for adolescents.

The type of indicators usually identified are: • a prevailing pattern of unusual and excessive behaviors and moods, and/or • recent dramatic changes in behavior and mood.

Parents and school staff need to watch for

• poor school performance; skipping or ditching • • • • • • • • •

school inability to cope well with daily events lack of attention to hygiene, grooming, and dress long periods alone in bedroom/bathroom apparently doing nothing extreme defensiveness; negative attitudes; dissatisfied about most things; argumentative frequent conflicts with others; verbally/physically abusive withdrawal from long-time friends/family/activities disregard for others; extreme egocentricity taking up with new friends who may be drug users unusual tension or depressed states

• seems frequently confused and “spacey” • often drowsy • general unresponsiveness to what’s going on • • • • • •

(seems “turned off”) increasing need for money; disappearance of possessions (e.g., perhaps sold to buy drugs); stealing/ shoplifting excessive efforts to mislead (lying, conning, untrustworthy, insincere) stooped appearance and posture dull or watery eyes; dilated or pinpoint pupils sniffles; runny nose overt indicators of substance abuse (e.g., drug equipment, needle marks)

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Common Symptoms of Drug Use Shortly after a person has taken illegal drugs, he or she may experience mood and behavioral swings. The person may go from a state of euphoria, experiencing a period of unusual activity and/or excessive talking, to a tendency to appear serene, followed by a swing toward a depressed state and withdrawal. Sometimes the individual will stare, glassy-like, at one thing for a long time. Listed on the next two pages are a few symptoms commonly found in people who abuse various drugs.

Amphetamines (stimulants) • • • •

Excessive activity Rapid speech Fatigue Disorientation and confusion • Irritability

• • • •

Appetite loss • Increased blood pressure and body temperature Anxiety • Increased respiration Extreme moods and shifts Erratic eating and sleeping • Increased and irregular pulse patterns • Tremors

Cocaine (stimulant, anesthetic) • Short-lived euphoria followed by • depression • • Nervousness and anxiety • • Irritability •

Shallow breathing Fever Tremors Tightening muscles

Inhalants • • • •

Euphoria Intoxicated look Odors Nausea

• • • •

Drowsiness Stupor Headaches Fainting

• • • •

Poor muscle control Rapid heartbeat Anemia Choking

Myth Child abusers look a certain way; they are persons to whom parents would not let children have access. Fact Child abusers can be anyone of any age. There is no way to tell who abusers are by their age, looks, or jobs. Since a pedophile’s illness manifests itself during adolescence, it could be years before he or she commits any type of pedophilic act.

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Cannabinoids (e.g. marijuana, hash, THC) • Increased appetite initially • Decreased appetite with

• Decreased concentration • Altered sense of time and

chronic use • Euphoria • Decreased motivation for many activities • Apathy, passivity

space Inappropriate laughter Rapid flow of ideas Anxiety; panic Irritability, restlessness

• • • •

• Decreased motor skill coordi• • • •

nation Characteristic odor on breath and clothes Increased pulse rate Droopy, bloodshot eyes Irregular menses

Narcotics (e.g., opium, heroin, morphine, codeine, methadone, and other pain killers)

• • • • •

Extreme mood swings Poor concentration Confusion Insensitivity to pain Drowsiness / decreased respiration

• Slow, shallow breathing • Decreased blood pressure • Itchiness • Watery eyes / pinpoint • Possible needle marks pupils • As drug wears off, nausea and runny nose • Lethargy • Weight loss

Barbiturates, Sedatives, Tranquilizers (CNS depressants)

• • • •

Decreased alertness Intoxicated look Drowsy Decreased motor coordination • Slurred speech

• Erratic eating and sleep- • ing patterns • • Dizzy • • Cold, clammy skin • • Decreased respiration • and pulse

Dilated pupils Confused Extreme mood swings Depressed mood state Dis-inhibition

Hallucinogens (effecting perceptions; e.g. PCP, LSD, mescaline)

• Extreme mood alteration and intensification

• Altered perceptions of time, space sights, sounds, colors • Loss of sense of time, place, person • Decreased communication

• • • • • • •

Panic and anxiety Paranoia Extreme, unstable behaviors Restlessness Tremors Nausea Flashbacks

• • • • • •

Increased blood pressure Impaired speech Impaired motor coordination Decreased response to pain Watery eyes Motor agitation

Information obtained from the National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health: www.ncemch.org/alert

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Youth Suicide • Suicide ranks as the THIRD leading cause of death for ages 15 - 24 and FOURTH for ages 10 - 14. • Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for college age youth, as well as for ages 15 to 19 in many states. • The United States Department of Health in 2000 reported that over ONE Million youths attempted suicide in the U.S. That equates to over 2700 attempts each day in our nation by youths ages 12 to 17. • More teenagers and young adults have died of suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia and influenza, and chronic lung disease COMBINED.

Signs That Your Child May Be Considering Suicide • Talking about suicide • Making statements about feeling helpless, hopeless, or worthless • A deepening depression • Preoccupation with death • Taking unnecessary risks or exhibiting self destructive behavior

• • • •

Out of character behavior A loss of interest in things once cared about Visiting or calling the people important to him Making arrangements; setting personal affairs in order • Giving prized possessions away

Watch and listen to your children and pay attention to sudden changes in behavior that cause you concern.

B

e willing to seek professional help and guidance if you feel your child is becoming depressed or contemplating hurting himself/herself.

T

alk openly and honestly with your child or your child’s friends about your concerns and be supportive in helping them cope with their feelings.

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Early Warning Signs of A Potentially Violent Child

W

hy didn’t we see it coming? In the wake of violence, this question is pondered not so much to blame, but to understand better what can be done to prevent such an occurrence from happening again. The days leading up to the incident are mentally reviewed over and over. Did the child say or do anything that would have

given the parent signs of the impending crisis? Was an opportunity to help missed somehow? In most cases of violence to self and others, early warning signs are typical. These are behavioral and emotional signs that, when viewed in context, can signal a troubled child. But early warning signs are just that – indicators that a child may need help. Such signs may

or may not indicate a serious problem – they do not necessarily mean that the child is prone to violent behavior. Rather, early warning signs provide the impetus to check out concerns and address the child’s needs. Early warning signs allow parents to act responsibly by getting help for the child before problems escalate.

Risk Factors in the Development of Violent Behavior: • Previous aggressive or violent behavior • Being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual

• Presence of firearms in the home • Combination of stressful family socioeconomic

abuse • Exposure to violence in the home and/or community • • Genetic (family heredity) factors • Use of drugs and/or alcohol

factors (poverty, severe deprivation, marital breakup, single parenting, unemployment, loss of support from extended family) Brain damage from head injury

Mississippi (and the rest of the nation) is experiencing increased incidences of violent behavior among children and adolescents. This complex and troubling issue needs to be carefully understood by parents, teachers, and other adults. Children as young as preschoolers can show violent behavior. Parents and other adults who witness the behavior typically express concern but often hope that the young child will “grow out of it.” Violent behavior in a child at any age always needs to be taken seriously. It should not be quickly dismissed as “Just a phase they’re going through!”

Examples of Potential Violence or Violent Acts • Fighting in school with peers or bullying • Disrespectful to teachers and other authority figures • Poor grades (Due to inattention if under stress or inattention due to exhaustion) • Shoplifting • Vandalizing or destroying objects (either

• • • • •

personal belongings or those of others) Running away Aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting, kicking, etc. Abuse of a parent or sibling Swearing, verbal abuse, threats Pushing safety limits with self and others

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Drinking

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deally, you should begin talking with your children about alcohol when they are young. “Prime Time” is between ages 9 and 11, but it’s never too late or too early to open the lines of communication on the subject of drinking. The following are suggested guidelines for communicating with your kids about drinking.

Be a Good Role Model - Children are keen observers. They know a lot more about you than you may think, so your drinking behavior and attitudes are being communicated to them. Actions speak louder than words, and the example you set will have great influence on your kids. If you drink, make it a normal part of your life, as most adults do. Don’t overdo it or place too much emphasis on drinking.

Be Factual - Young people are better equipped to make proper decisions about any issue, including drinking, if they have the facts. Trying to scare them about drinking or presenting alcohol or drinking as evil may backfire. That’s partly because children have many sources of information, and exaggeration about unfounded stories can damage parents’ credibility. • From a medical standpoint, alcohol is a depressant that, when consumed in excess, results in intoxication and loss of control, along with impaired coordination, reflexes and judgment. Alcohol abuse has many welldocumented risks, a primary one being drunk driving and its consequences. • Many factors influence the way alcohol is metabolized by the body, including a person’s height, weight and whether or not he or she has eaten food. It is a myth that black coffee or a cold shower or anything else will sober up a drunk person. Only time brings sobriety. • According to experts, young people lack the judgment, experience and coordination to drink alcoholic beverages. Their smaller size means that smaller amounts of alcoholic beverages can be intoxicating. Even for teens who may be “grown-up” in size, their bodies are still developing.

Practice Good Parenting - Many of the things that parents can do to help their children avoid drinking may seem to have little to do with the subject, but they are very important. Several of these go hand-in-hand:

• • • •

Help your child feel good about himself/herself. Create an atmosphere of open communication. Be an active family. Teach problem-solving and responsible decision -making skills.

How and When to Talk • When you share information with your son or daughter about why he or she shouldn’t drink, it’s important to do so matter-of-factly. • Telling teens “You can’t handle it” may come across to them as a dare or cause them to rebel. • Children 9 to 11 years old are at an ideal age range for discussing the implications of drinking. A child with a question about drinking is probably most receptive to discussion. Even if a child does not have a question, parents should bring up the topic in brief “learning moments” that may grow naturally into longer discussions. A newspaper or television story, a family occasion that includes drinking by adults or a school discussion may be a good reason for opening the dialogue. • While many schools today incorporate lessons on alcohol, no one has greater authority or responsibility for children than parents. Most importantly, no one has more influence on children’s drinking decisions than parents. Page 16

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Have Clearly Stated Rules

a meaningful conversation with your child about While children need facts, they also need their par- drinking. ents’ opinions to help the facts make sense. Which facts are important? And why? Parents need to an- For teens, it is particularly important to discuss the swer these questions. Once children hear both the rules when it comes to drinking and driving. The facts and your opinions and beliefs about them, it be- rules are simple: no drinking, no driving after drinkcomes easier for you to make rules and enforce them. ing and no getting into a car with a drinking driver, Simply saying, “Drinking is bad for you, and I don’t whether the driver is a teen or an adult. ever want to catch you doing it or you’ll be in big trouble” is not enough. Once a parent has asked a child to obey the law and the family rules regarding underage drinking, there Take a moment to answer these questions for yourself: should be a clear understanding of the consequences • If you are drinking, what are the positive reasons of not following them. For instance, your daughter caught breaking a rule about drinking should know you have for drinking responsibly? • What are your own family traditions about drink- with certainty that a second violation, such as driving after drinking, could be fatal to her or her friends. ing?

• What are your opinions about drinking by others? Parents often punish teens by taking away privileges, • What do you feel is appropriate concerning drinkbut another effective technique is to impose an undesirable task, such as cleaning out the garage or pulling weeds in the garden. It is often better to earn one’s way back into favor by doing something constructive Thinking through these questions will help you have than by having privileges taken away.

ing, and what is inappropriate? • What is appropriate behavior for your child?

Get Help If You Need It – Sometimes even the most vigilant efforts of parents are not enough to prevent alcohol abuse by young people. If that is the case, the best thing to do is to seek professional advice immediately. Your family physician or pediatrician is an excellent source of help. Other resources include your minister, priest or rabbi, school guidance counselor or social worker. Treatment for alcohol abuse is available in virtually every community, often through corporate employee assistance programs. The American Council on Alcoholism (800-527-5344), the Betty Ford Center (800-854-9211) and Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous (which welcomes teens into its meetings) also can provide help.

Know Your Children’s Friends and Their Parents - Parents can teach their children the meaning of real friendship and how to make true friends. You also should know the parents of your children’s friends. Learning about other families’ values and rules will help you monitor your own children. Parents can encourage kids to think for themselves - to be self-reliant and independent - and to recognize the times when they should do what their friends do and the times when they should stand alone and do what they think is right. These will be good lessons for life that will apply to many issues.

lying, unwillingness to communicate. • Depression, loss of interest in usual hobbies or acFinding out that your teen has illegally consumed altivities, excessive mood swings. cohol or been drunk once doesn’t mean your child is • A new set of friends who you feel may be inclined an alcoholic. However, you should focus strongly on to drink alcohol beverages. this issue to eliminate future episodes. If repeated episodes occur, or if you are concerned about the possi- • Financial problems or unexplained accidents or injuries. bility of alcohol abuse by a preteen or teen, experts have identified a number of signs that may indicate Remember that children are constantly changing, and trouble: • A significant decrease in school performance, such there may be other explanations for a sudden change as low grades, failed exams or increased absentee- in behavior. But don’t wait to take action. For the sake of your child, seek professional help immediism. ately. • Withdrawal from family activities, secretiveness, (Information obtained from Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., Consumer Awareness and Education)

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Tobacco Use By Teens

Tobacco’s Toll on Our People

he simple truth is, tobaccorelated illness is the number one cause of preventable death in the world. This is a fact that hits home in Mississippi. But tobacco's toll doesn't stop with lives taken. Tobacco makes a significant economic impact in both public and private sectors in Mississippi, not to mention lowering the quality of life of thousands of citizens. Listed here are just a few reasons The Partnership strives to help prevent tobacco use in our state.

1. Tobacco-related illnesses claim the lives of 4,700 Mississippians every year. 2. Tobacco use by pregnant women is a leading cause of low birth-weight infants. 3. Cigarette smoking doubles the likelihood of a stroke. 4. Teens who smoke are 3-times more likely than nonsmokers to use alcohol, 8-times more likely to use marijuana, and 22-times more likely to use cocaine. 5. Cigarette smokers are up to four times more likely to develop coronary heart disease than nonsmokers. 6. Exposure to secondhand smoke has been shown to hamper cognitive development in children.

T

Tobacco's Impact to Mississippi Taxpayers • Treatment of tobacco-related illness costs the Mississippi Health-

The Partnership for a Healthy Mississippi’s comprehensive tobacco-prevention programs are making an impact.

care System $650 million each year.

• Treatment of tobacco-related illness costs the state's taxpayersupported Medicaid program $243 million each year. • For every individual Mississippian who pays taxes, $528 of your money goes to Medicaid to pay to treat tobacco related illness in the state. • Tobacco use is linked to $1.39 billion in lost worker productivity annually in the state.

IMPACT From 1999-2004, relative percentage decreases for current smoking are:

• 32% among public high school students

• 48% among public middle Through youth prevention programs, The Partnership is conservatively projected to save the state of Mississippi more than $400 million in long-term smoking-related health care costs.

school students • 42% among private high school students

Public health experts say the state will save lives by reducing smoking-caused deaths, which currently total 4,900 each year in Mississippi, and save money by reducing smoking-caused health

From 2000-2004, the relative percentage decrease for current smoking among private middle school students is 42%.

The Partnership’s funding is based on the guidelines for CDC’s “Best Practices” model. $20 million is set aside from the state’s tobacco settlement to fund:

•Tobacco prevention programs for all ages. These programs include community and schoolbased activities: • RAT (Reject All Tobacco) for K-3rd grades: Over 21,000 members throughout Mississippi • SWAT (Students Working Against Tobacco) for 4th-6th grades: Nearly 22,000 members across the state • FREE (7th & 8th graders): Nearly 10,000 members across the state • Frontline (9th-12th graders): Over 8,000 members across the state

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Resources Big Brothers Big Sisters of Mississippi Jackson……………………………………………………………………………….……………..601-961-9286 e-mail………………………………………………………………………….………….….www.bbbsms.org Boys & Girls Clubs of America e-mail………………………………………………………………………….…...…………….www.bgca.org Catholic Charities Jackson………………………………………………………………………………….…...…….601-355-8634 Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse Gulfport………………………………………………………………………….……….…...…..228-868-8686 Hattiesburg…………………………………………………………………………….……..…..601-545-6680 Child Abuse Hotline Jackson………………………………………………………………………….…………...….1-800-222-8000 Child Abuse Exchange Club Child Abuse……………………………………………………………………...……….……...601-366-0025

Prevention – Intervention The Jason Foundation, Inc. (Help Hotline)…………………………………………….……………...1-800-SUICIDE Jackson………………………………………………………………………….……Direct Line 601-936-2024 Toll Free 1-877-778-2275 Meridian……………………………………………………………………………..Direct Line 601-483-6211 Toll Free 1-877-778-2275 Jackson Rape Crisis Center Toll-Free………………………………………………………………………...………...……..1-800-273-9012 ** RESPECT classes for schools to prevent sexual assault Southern Christian Services Jackson………………………………………………………………………….……….…….…..601-354-0983 South MS Child Advocacy Center Pascagoula………………………………………………………………………….……..……...228-769-1343 Bay St. Louis…………….………………………………………………………...……..……….228-463-0000 Laurel………………………………………………………………………………...……..….….601-428-8898 Southwest MS Children’s Advocacy Center McComb……………………………………………………………………………….…….…...601-648-4009 Family Crisis Services of Northwest Mississippi Oxford……………………………………………………………………………...……………..662-234-9929 Toll-Free…………………………………………………………………………...….……......1-800-230-9929 Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) e-mail……………………………………………………………………………….…...………..www.ojp.gov

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Child Abuse Hotline Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-359-4991 Toll-Free ........................................................................................................................................ 1-800-222-8000 Local health departments provide medical care for qualified individuals, family intervention and counseling referrals Toll-Free ...................................................................................................... 1-866-HLTHY4U (1-866-458-4958) e-mail................................................................................................................................. www.healthyms.com Mississippi Attorney General’s Office Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-359-3680 e-mail................................................................................................................................. www.ago.state.ms.us Cyber Crime Website ......................................................www.ago.state.ms.us/divisions/pid/cybercrime Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-948-0555 Mississippi Children’s Advocacy Center Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-969-7111 Mississippi Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse (Stranger Danger presentations to schools) Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-664-9081 Mississippi Department of Human Services Toll-Free ........................................................................................................................................ 1-800-345-6347 Mississippi Department of Public Safety Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-987-1530 e-mail................................................................................................................................. www.dps.state.ms.us Mississippi Families for Kids (Helps locate appropriate child care) Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-360-0591 Our House (A shelter for runaway and homeless youths) Jackson ............................................................................................................................................. 601-355-0161 Toll-Free ........................................................................................................................................ 1-800-273-7714 Vicksburg Child Abuse Prevention Center Warren County ............................................................................................................................... 601-634-0557 Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) e-mail................................................................................................................................................ www.fbi.gov

Parents’ Guide to Internet Safety National Center for Missing and Exploited Children e-mail.............................................................................................................................. www.missingkids.com 24 hour hotline ......................................................................................................................... 1-800-THE-LOST Kid matters on the web................................................................................................. www.healthykids.com *Netsmartz Workshop .......................................................................................................www.netsmartz.org United States Internet Crime Task Force e-mail(s) ........................................................................................................................................ www.usict.org www.webwisekids.com Page 20

Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

*The Netsmartz Workshop listed on page 20 is an interactive, online, educational safety resource from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Boys & Girls Clubs of America that teaches children how to stay safer on the Internet. The goal of the Netsmartz Workshop is to extend the safety awareness of children to prevent victimization and increase self-confidence when they go online. The list of organizations and groups on the previous pages has been compiled solely as a reference source. This listing is not intended to be a comprehensive reference source, and the Office of the Attorney General does not endorse any specific provider(s). Unless noted herein, all information was compiled from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children website.

Chat Abbreviations 121 ............................................................................................................................................................................. .one to one F2F ............................................................................................................................................................................. face to face AFAIK ............................................................................................................................................................... as far as I know FAQ ................................................................................................................................................. frequently asked question AFK .......................................................................................................................................................... away from keyboard FC ....................................................................................................................................................................... fingers crossed AKA ..................................................................................................................................................................... also known as FISH ................................................................................................................................................................. first in, still here ARE ............................................................................................................................................... acronym-rich environment FMTYEWTK........................................................................................................... far more than you ever wanted to know ASAP ............................................................................................................................................................ as soon as possible FOMCL ...................................................................................................................................... falling off my chair laughing A/S/L? ........................................................................................................................................................... age, sex, location FTBOMH .................................................................................................................................... from the bottom of my heart B4 ........................................................................................................................................................................................before FUD ..............................................................................................................................................fear, uncertainty, and doubt B4N ...........................................................................................................................................................................bye for now FWIW ........................................................................................................................................................... for what it’s worth BAK .......................................................................................................................................................... back at the keyboard FYI ............................................................................................................................................................ for your information BBIAB ................................................................................................................................................................. be back in a bit GA ................................................................................................................................................................................. go ahead BBL ..........................................................................................................................................................................be back later GAL ................................................................................................................................................................................ get a life BBML ...........................................................................................................................................................be back much later GD$R ...................................................................................................................................... grinning, ducking and running BBN ........................................................................................................................................................................ bye bye now GF ................................................................................................................................................................................ girl friend BBS ......................................................................................................................................................................... be back soon GFN ....................................................................................................................................................................... gone for now BEG ......................................................................................................................................................................... big evil grin GIWIST ................................................................................................................................................ gee, I wish I’d said that BF ................................................................................................................................................................................ boy friend GMBO ....................................................................................................................................................... giggling my butt off BFN ..........................................................................................................................................................................bye for now GMTA .................................................................................................................................................. great minds think alike BG .................................................................................................................................................................................... big grin

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Chat Abbreviations DLTBBB .......................................................................................................................................... don’t let the bed bugs bite IMO ...................................................................................................................................................................... in my opinion DQMOT ................................................................................................................................................ don’t quote me on this IOW ..................................................................................................................................................................... in other words EG ................................................................................................................................................................................... evil grin IPN ................................................................................................................................................................ I’m posting naked EMFBI ................................................................................................................................................ excuse me for butting in IRL ............................................................................................................................................................................... in real life EOM ................................................................................................................................................................... end of message IWALU .................................................................................................................................................. I will always love you EOT ....................................................................................................................................................................... end of thread IYSWIM ................................................................................................................................................ if you see what I mean JBOD ......................................................................................................................................................... just a bunch of disks PAL ........................................................................................................................................................... parents are listening JIC ............................................................................................................................................................................... just in case PANB ........................................................................................................................................................... parents are nearby JK .............................................................................................................................................................................. just kidding PANS .............................................................................................................................................. pretty awesome new stuff LTR ......................................................................................................................................................... long term relationship SNERT ........................................................................................................................... snot nosed egotistical rude teenager LTS .....................................................................................................................................................................laughing to self SO ..................................................................................................................................................................... significant other LYLAB .................................................................................................................................................. love you like a brother SOMY.................................................................................................................................................................. sick of me yet? LULAS ...................................................................................................................................................... love you like a sister SOT......................................................................................................................................................................... short of time LUWAMH..................................................................................................................................... love you with all my heart SOTMG .................................................................................................................................................. short of time, must go JMO ............................................................................................................................................................... just in my opinion PDA ................................................................................................................................................. public display of affection JTLYK......................................................................................................................................................... just to let you know PDS ................................................................................................................................................................ please don’t shoot JW ....................................................................................................................................................................... just wondering PLZ ..................................................................................................................................................................................... please K ........................................................................................................................................................................................... okay PM .................................................................................................................................................................... private message KIT......................................................................................................................................................................... keep in touch PMFJIB .................................................................................................................................. pardon me for jumping in but... KOC .......................................................................................................................................................................kiss on cheek PMP ..................................................................................................................................................................... peed my pants KOL ........................................................................................................................................................................... kiss on lips POAHF ...................................................................................................................................................... put on a happy face KWIM ........................................................................................................................................................ know what I mean? POS......................................................................................................................................................... parents over shoulder L2M ................................................................................................................................................................ listening to music POTS ..............................................................................................................................................plain old telephone service L8R ........................................................................................................................................................................................ later PU ................................................................................................................................................................................that stinks LD ............................................................................................................................................................................... later, dude QSL.......................................................................................................................................................................................reply LDR ................................................................................................................................................. long distance relationship

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s PLAN

Chat Abbreviations QSO ........................................................................................................................................................................ conversation LHM ....................................................................................................................................................................... lord help me QT ......................................................................................................................................................................................... cutie LHU..........................................................................................................................................................................lord help us RL .....................................................................................................................................................................................real life ROL ................................................................................................................................................................... raffing out loud MIRL ......................................................................................................................................................... let’s meet in real life ROTFL......................................................................................................................................... rolling on the floor laughing LMSO ..................................................................................................................................................... laughing my socks off RPG ............................................................................................................................................................. role playing games LOL ............................................................................................................................................................... laughing out loud RSN ...................................................................................................................................................................... real soon now LRF ...................................................................................................................................................................... like rubber fee RYO .......................................................................................................................................................................roll your own S4L ............................................................................................................................................................................... set for life LSHMBH ............................................................................................................................. laughing so hard my belly hurts SETE ............................................................................................................................................................... smiling ear to ear SF ......................................................................................................................................................................... surfer friendly LTM ................................................................................................................................................................... laugh to myself SHCOON......................................................................................................................................shoot hot coffee out of nose LTNS ............................................................................................................................................................... long time, no see SHID......................................................................................................................................................... slaps head in disgust LY .................................................................................................................................................................................. love you STW .....................................................................................................................................................................search the web M/F ..................................................................................................................................................................... male or female SUP or WU ................................................................................................................................................................. what’s up MOSS……………………………………………………………………………………………….…….member of same sex SWAK ............................................................................................................................................................ sealed with a kiss MOTOS ........................................................................................................................................ member of the opposite sex SWL .................................................................................................................................................... screaming with laughter MSG................................................................................................................................................................................ message SYS.......................................................................................................................................................................... see you soon MTF ..................................................................................................................................................................... more to follow TA ........................................................................................................................................................................... thanks again MUSM ........................................................................................................................................................... miss you so much TAFN .............................................................................................................................................................. that’s all for now NADT .............................................................................................................................................................. not a darn thing TAW ....................................................................................................................................................... teachers are watching NIFOC..................................................................................................................................... naked in front of the computer TCOB..................................................................................................................................................... taking care of business NP ........................................................................................................................................................................... nosy parents TCOY ....................................................................................................................................................... .take care of yourself N/P .......................................................................................................................................................................... no problem TFH .................................................................................................................................................................. thread from hell NRN ............................................................................................................................................................. no reply necessary TGIF ........................................................................................................................................................ thank God it’s Friday OIC .................................................................................................................................................................................. oh I see THX ................................................................................................................................................................................... thanks OL ................................................................................................................................................................................... old lady TIA................................................................................................................................................................. thanks in advance OLL ........................................................................................................................................................................... online love

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Chat Abbreviations GOL ................................................................................................................................................................ giggling out loud BL ........................................................................................................................................................................ belly laughing GTRM ........................................................................................................................................................... going to read mail BRB ......................................................................................................................................................................... be right back GTSY .................................................................................................................................................................. glad to see you BTA .................................................................................................................................................................... .but then again H&K .................................................................................................................................................................. hugs and kisses BTW .......................................................................................................................................................................... by the way HAGN........................................................................................................................................................... have a good night BWL ...................................................................................................................................................... bursting with laughter HHIS .................................................................................................................................................... hanging head in shame BWTHDIK ................................................................................................................................. but what the heck do I know HTH ................................................................................................................................................................... hope this helps C&G ................................................................................................................................................................ chuckle and grin IAC .............................................................................................................................................................................in any case CID ................................................................................................................................................................ crying in disgrace IAE .......................................................................................................................................................................... in any event CNP .............................................................................................................................................. continued (in my) next post IANAL ..................................................................................................................................................I am not a lawyer (but) CP .................................................................................................................................................................................. chat post IC ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I see CRBT .......................................................................................................................................................... crying real big tears IDK ......................................................................................................................................................................... I don’t know CSG ..........................................................................................................................................................chuckle, snicker, grin IHA.................................................................................................................................................................... I hate acronyms CU ....................................................................................................................................................................................see you IIRC .......................................................................................................................................................if I remember correctly CUL OR CUL8ER .................................................................................................................................................. see you later ILU .............................................................................................................................................................................. I love you CUZ ................................................................................................................................................................................. because IM ...................................................................................................................................................................... instant message CYO ......................................................................................................................................................................see you online IMHO .....................................................................................................................................................in my humble opinion DIKU ................................................................................................................................................................. do I know you? Iming ......................................................................................................................................... chatting with someone online DL ................................................................................................................................................................................ dead link IMNSHO ................................................................................................................................... in my not so humble opinion TILIS...................................................................................................................................................................... tell it like it is OM ................................................................................................................................................................................. old man TLK2UL8R ....................................................................................................................................................... talk to you later OMG .......................................................................................................................................................................... oh my god TNT ........................................................................................................................................................................‘till next time OTF .......................................................................................................................................................................... off the floor TOPC .......................................................................................................................................................... ‘till our paths cross OTOH ............................................................................................................................................................on the other hand TOY .................................................................................................................................................................... thinking of you OTTOMH ................................................................................................................................................. off the top of my hat TPTB............................................................................................................................................................. the powers that be LLTA ............................................................................................................................. lots and lots of thunderous applause LSHMBB .............................................................................................................................. laughing so hard my belly hurts LSHTTARDML................................................................................ laughing so hard the tears are running down my leg

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Guide to Child Safety: A Parent’s Plan