Poster Kit #7, Part 1
The Writing Process: Revising a Memoir Session 1 Text Type and Process Review Teaching Focuses
Reviewing the Text Type Set the Text Sample Passage (Poster A)
• U nderstand the specific purpose and structure of a memoir • Revisit and rework a piece of writing
on your easel. Explain that students will be thinking about the text type of a memoir from a writer’s point of view.
ncourage students to think about the E features of a memoir by asking openended questions. Then read the text passage on Poster A to the students.
6+1 Traits: Organization
Deconstruction Organizer I stood on the platform with the rest of the astronauts, holding my helmet under one arm. This is a long way from playing tennis, I thought to myself. I waved to the crowd below. Hundreds of people had come to say goodbye as we blasted off on the space shuttle Challenger. For me it was a dream finally come true. I had wanted to play professional tennis when I was younger. But college got me really interested in science. In 1978, I was chosen for the astronaut training program. Now, only five years later, I was about to make my first trip into space. I was excited, but also nervous. This trip was not only a first for me—it was a first for women everywhere. I, Sally Ride, would be the first woman ever to travel into space.
Revising a Memoir It was time, I stood on the platform with the rest of the astronauts, holding my space helmet under one arm. This is a long way from playing tennis, I thought to myself.
How can I improve my writing? Let’s think about reworking my ideas.
I waved to the crowd below. Hundreds of people had come to watch us blast off on the space shuttle Challenger. It was a dream come true. I had wanted to play professional tennis when I was younger. But college got me interested in science. In 1978, I was chosen for the astronaut training program.
Sally Ride and the Challenger crew in 1983
Poster A
Memoirs are written in the first person. When writing a memoir of another person, pretend you are that person, and write as if the event was happening to you.
Poster B
Memoir
Poster B
Let’s think about how memoirs are Text Sample Passage Deconstruction Organizer different from other types of personal writing. What might an author think about when writing a memoir? Yes, they focus on a significant event and share their feelings. How does the author share her feelings with us in this text?
Share
Modeled Writing / Shared Writing
Nonfiction
A Dream Come True
Introducing the Writing Process Focus Using the Text Sample Passage on Poster A, review the writing process from planning to publishing from the writer’s viewpoint.
Poster B
Deconstruction Organizer Revising a Memoir It was time, I stood on the platform with the rest of the astronauts, holding my space helmet under one arm. This is a long way from playing tennis, I thought to myself. I waved to the crowd below. Hundreds of people say goodbye as we blasted had come to watch us blast off on the space shuttle For me, finally Challenger. It was a dream come true. I had wanted to play professional tennis when I was younger. But college really got me interested in science. In 1978, I was chosen for the astronaut training program.
How can I improve my writing? Let’s think about reworking my ideas.
As the writer developed this memoir, what might she have done first? Yes, a description of the setting would be important. How has the author done this in this memoir? At what stage in the writing process would a writer think about the setting?
Focus student thinking on the revising stage, in which writers think about how clearly they have written their ideas.
What did the author need to think about when revising? Yes, good organization of ideas and how they express their feelings is an important part of revising. What else?
Deconstructing the Writing Process Focus Place the Text Sample Passage (Poster A) and the Deconstruction Organizer (Poster B) side by side on your easel.
Help students compare the unrevised text on Poster B with the
final version of the memoir. Facilitate a discussion about why the writer made these revisions as you mark them on the organizer. Let’s look closely at the differences between the author’s unrevised draft and final version. What do you notice? Why might the author have made those changes? Watch how I indicate them. What changes would you have made?
Mondo Pathways to Writing
2•7
Poster B/Memoir
Mondo Pathways to Writing 2•7 A Dream Come True 1
Session 2 Modeled Writing: Revising (Authorial) Teaching Focuses
Reflecting on the Writing Process Focus Be sure to record the memoir passage that you plan to
• R evisit and rework a piece of writing • Add or omit ideas to improve the clarity of the message
use prior to the start of the session.
Poster C
Revising Organizer Revising a Memoir How can I improve my writing?
My years of research studying the gorillas were rewarded in 1970. I had been able to approach closer and closer to the group. Today the moment had arrived when I had earned the trust of the gorillas. I sat with
Explain that you have already worked through the process of planning, composing, and recording a memoir. Tell students that today, you will be modeling how to revise. Review the writing process with students, referring back to the previous session.
6+1 Traits: Voice
Discuss the importance of a clear message so that a story
is understandable and enjoyable. Demonstrate to students how a writer thinks about the clarity of their ideas along with their word choice when revising a text.
Teacher Tip
Let’s think about: 1. Reworking my ideas 2. Using different sentence beginnings
my back to the group, making soft gorilla sounds and pretending to eat the vegetation. I stretched my arm out along the ground and lay very still. Then it happened. An adult male gorilla named Peanuts came right up beside me and touched my hand.
Composing Organizer Composing a Memoir Beginning
Significant Event
What led to the event?
Setting
Feelings
Ending
Poster C Revising Organizer
Think back to yesterday’s session. We looked at the revising process for “A Dream Come True.” What did we find that the author had done to revise this memoir? Talk it over with your partner. Today I am going to show you how I would revise a different memoir that I have already planned, composed, and recorded.
You may select a piece from your own writing folder for this session or create a piece of text. If you create the text to revise in this session, be sure you include clear opportunities to demonstrate the teaching focus of the session as stated above.
Recording the Teacher’s Thoughts Arrange the poster kit on your easel, ensuring that the Revising Organizer
(Poster C) with an unrevised text sample is easily seen by all students. Alternatively you may select a piece of your own writing to revise in this session.
Make revisions to your memoir, modeling the types of questions writers ask
themselves as they revise. Justify for students why you are making the changes. As I revise, I am thinking about my audience and the purpose of my memoir. I need to be sure that my readers can understand the main character’s ideas and feelings. How can I convey those feelings better? If I change some words, how will it improve the memoir?
Poster C
Revising Organizer
As you revise, link your talk to the teaching focus of the session,
demonstrating how you can add or omit ideas to enhance the sense of the subject’s voice and improve the clarity of the message.
Revising a Memoir patient finally My years of research studying the gorillas were rewarded in 1970. I had been able to approach closer and closer to the group. Today the moment had arrived at last when I had earned the trust of the gorillas. I sat with
How can I improve my writing?
As I reread the memoir, I am checking that the text makes sense and is interesting to read. Have I included unnecessary words that are just confusing the story? Does it seem like the subject is speaking to me? I need to ask myself, “How could I make it more exciting? What would make the event seem more interesting?”
Let’s think about: 1. Reworking my ideas 2. Using different sentence beginnings
my back to the group, making soft gorilla sounds and Slowly green, leafy pretending to eat the vegetation. I stretched my arm out along the ground and lay very still. Then it happened. An adult male gorilla named Peanuts came reached out, right up beside me and touched my hand.
Reflecting on the Modeled Writing Process Focus Before moving to independent writing, have students reflect
on how the revising process you have modeled will assist them in creating interesting memoirs of their own with convincing characters. As I revised my memoir today, I was reworking my ideas by adding extra details to improve the storyline and the sense of voice. What else did I think about? What things will you think about when revising? Try to remember these things when you work on your own memoir revisions.
Mondo Pathways to Writing
2•7
Poster C/Memoir
2 Mondo Pathways to Writing 2•7 A Dream Come True
Session 3 Shared Writing: Revising (Authorial) Reviewing the Writing Process Focus
Teaching Focuses
Have students seated on the floor where they can all see the
• R evisit and rework a piece of writing • Vary sentence beginnings
Poster C
Revising Organizer
Revising Organizer (Poster C), with the recorded revisions from the previous session.
Revising a Memoir How can I improve my writing?
My years of research studying the gorillas were rewarded in 1970. I had been able to approach closer and closer to the group. Today the moment had arrived when I had earned the trust of the gorillas. I sat with
Let’s think about: 1. Reworking my ideas 2. Using different sentence beginnings
my back to the group, making soft gorilla sounds and pretending to eat the vegetation. I stretched my arm out along the ground and lay very still. Then it
irect student attention to the teaching focus and have them D consider what is important when revising a memoir.
happened. An adult male gorilla named Peanuts came right up beside me and touched my hand.
Composing Organizer Composing a Memoir Beginning
When I was revising my memoir yesterday, I was thinking about reworking my ideas by adding details to improve the storyline and sense of voice. Today I want you to help me think about using different sentence beginnings.
Significant Event
What led to the event?
Setting
Feelings
6+1 Traits: Word Choice
Ending
Poster C Revising Organizer
Teacher Tip Ensure that when revising, you focus on the authorial aspects of the writing process, like overused words or repeated sentence beginnings. Correcting spelling and grammar takes place when editing, just prior to publishing.
Generating Students’ Thoughts Encourage students to suggest ways to vary the sentence beginnings in the memoir. Have them justify their suggestions.
As I read the memoir, I want you to focus on the beginnings of the sentences I have used. Is there a better way to say some things—a way you would find more interesting to read? Be ready to share your ideas with all of us. Who has a suggestion?
Recording Students’ Thoughts Record the changes directly onto the Revising Organizer as students make their suggestions, keeping the focus on interesting word choices.
What did you notice about the sentence beginnings? Yes, I have used I to start too many of them. Let’s look at how we could improve this. Who has a suggestion? I have changed I sat to Sitting. Let’s read the memoir and see how it sounds now. What do you think? How have we improved the writing?
Reflecting on the Shared Writing Process Focus Finish the shared writing session by having students reflect on
how the aspects of the revising process they used in the session, such as using a variety of sentence beginnings, will help them when revising their own memoirs. What happened when we changed the way a few of our sentences begin? How did it change the memoir? Yes, I agree that it sounds more interesting now. What will you take from this shared writing session to your independent work? Yes, it is easy to check that your sentences begin in different ways. You can choose just the right words to make each sentence interesting. That way, your whole piece becomes more interesting.
Poster C
Revising Organizer Revising a Memoir patient finally My years of research studying the gorillas were Over the years, rewarded in 1970. I had been able to approach closer and closer to the group. Today the moment had arrived Sitting at last when I had earned the trust of the gorillas. I sat with I began my back to the group, making soft gorilla sounds and Slowly green, leafy pretending to eat the vegetation. I stretched my arm
How can I improve my writing? Let’s think about: 1. Reworking my ideas 2. Using different sentence beginnings
out along the ground and lay very still. Then it happened. An adult male gorilla named Peanuts came reached out, right up beside me and touched my hand.
Mondo Pathways to Writing
2•7
Poster C/Memoir
Mondo Pathways to Writing 2•7 A Dream Come True 3
Poster B
Deconstruction Organizer Revising a Memoir It was time, I stood on the platform with the rest of the astronauts, holding my space helmet under one arm. This is a long way from playing tennis, I thought to myself.
How can I improve my writing? Let’s think about reworking my ideas.
I waved to the crowd below. Hundreds of people had come to watch us blast off on the space shuttle Challenger. It was a dream come true. I had wanted to play professional tennis when I was younger. But college got me interested in science. In 1978, I was chosen for Poster E
the astronaut training program.
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Mondo Pathways to Writing
2•7
Poster B/Memoir
4 Mondo Pathways to Writing 2•7 A Dream Come True
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Poster C
Revising Organizer Revising a Memoir How can I improve my writing?
My years of research studying the gorillas were rewarded in 1970. I had been able to approach closer and closer to the group. Today the moment had arrived when I had earned the trust of the gorillas. I sat with
Let’s think about: 1. Reworking my ideas 2. Using different sentence beginnings
my back to the group, making soft gorilla sounds and pretending to eat the vegetation. I stretched my arm out along the ground and lay very still. Then it happened. An adult male gorilla named Peanuts came right up beside me and touched my hand. Poster E
Composing Organizer Composing a Memoir Beginning >emm_bb?_djheZkY[j^[cW_dY^WhWYj[h5 :_Wd
