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FEBRUARY 2013
OUR CONTRIBUTION TO
THE VERNON WINTER CARNIVAL
The darkness of night flowed seamlessly into a grey dawn. The ancient sun strained to inject its sunbeam rays into the primordial fog. In the distance, the early morning wailing of the bag-piped Kiltasaurus welcomed the dismal dawn; while the toots and roars of the wheeled Shrineroserous’s proclaimed mastery of their domain. Yelping and barking of the nearby dogus-agilitus pack added a raw tension to the air. And so started the Vernon Flying Club’s contribution to the Vernon Winter Carnival Parade. The “Prehistoric” theme was superimposed over the kiddies VFC Barrel planes towed by the little Ptera-tractor piloted by caveman Don Usher, while Alison Crerar’s unique ’97 Diahatsu Midget truck “L’il Pete”, in prehistoric disguise, bravely lead the way. (continued overleaft)
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FEBRUARY 2013 It was another day of duty for the Pterodactyl Patrol as they formed up on the tarmac. The flying officers (F.O.’s) rushed forward to mount their aerial conveyances. Today’s contingent comprised: F.O. Finn Kelder (age 5) F.O. Colby Sparling (age 7) F.O. Kiana Warwick (age 5) F.O. Sophie Cardeau (age 6) F.O. Charlie Cardeau (age 5) F.O. Lyndon Tung (age 5) F.O. Zoel Willett (age 5)
Flight Commander Don Usher inspected his leading Aerodactyl air tug and Wing Commander Alison Crerar strapped on her legendary leather helmet, wrapped herself in a Warmasorass skin, and took her seat in the Pterodactyl Patrol’s fire breathing fearsome command Aerotransport. With the collective roar of engines prevailing over the early morning cacophony of nerve-wrenching sounds, the pterodactyl Patrol lunged forward down the tarmac to commence their assigned mission. Judging from the enthusiastic comments from those lining the streets to watch the parade, our contribution was a great success. Our pilots waved to the crowd, who waved and cheered in response. Fun was had by all! A great round of thanks to the following people who made it all happen: 1. Coordinator / Ptera-tractor driver: Don Usher 2. Theme decorations / costumes: Alison Crerar, Dianne Usher 3. “Dinosaur Poop” Cookies: Dianne Usher 4. Lead vehicle “L’ill Pete” ’97 Daihatsu Midget & Driver: Alison Crerar 5. Assy / transport: Don Usher, Chris Castles, Dave Crerar, Lorne Wallis, Ginter Scholz 6. Trailer: Gerry Richard 7. All the Pilots listed above and their parents and those that walked beside the planes. Contributed by Alison Crerar
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FEBRUARY 2013 The Tale of the Super-Secret, Supersonic Tri-Pacer by the “Fabric Flash” There have been a few articles in the Short Wing Piper News recently about the military uses of Short Wing Pipers. Now that the story of the super-secret, supersonic Tri-Pacer has been declassified, the whole tale can finally be told. I should know – I was there. It was my Tri-Pacer and I was the pilot. It all started when I was employed as a long-range strategic planning officer at the National Air & Space Intelligence Center located at Wright-Patterson AFB. The military was interested in investigating the possibility of using a small, lightweight, rugged, semi- stealthy, prop-driven general aviation aircraft for covert operations in third world countries. The fabric covered short wing Piper series seemed to fit the bill perfectly, except that it was a little slow and lacked extended range capability. It was decided the speed and range issues could be solved by: 1. highly modifying the power plant to greatly increase the speed, and 2. reaching into third world countries by operating from the deck of an aircraft carrier. The aircraft would need to be fitted with an extensively modified, sophisticated Lycoming engine utilizing classified (at that time) technologies. Other “tweeks” to the propeller, airframe, and landing gear would be needed to accommodate the engine and resulting speed. The Tri-Pacer was modified in a tightly guarded hanger at Wright-Patt. Ground taxi test were done there at WPAFB just before daybreak on a Sunday morning to avoid snooping eyes. I was admittedly nervous as I ran through the checklist, fired up the engine, and proceeded with the low and high speed taxi tests. We could not risk taking this classified asset into the air in plain view of onlookers in the Dayton area, so it was decided to actually conduct the flight tests from the deck of an aircraft carrier at sea, far from unauthorized prying eyes. I flew my deceptive bird down to Pensacola NAS low and slow to look like any other Tri- Pacer and not give any hints of how very special this PA-22 really was under the cowlings. I first practiced carrier landings in a simulator and then made numerous approaches on a runway outlined like a carrier deck. Getting used to flying the “meatball,” a Fresnel lens landing light system, was a piece of cake – the runway was not moving. A real plus to landing a Tri-Pacer on an aircraft carrier is the airplane’s slow short-field approach speed. Combine this with the ship “steaming” into the wind at 35kts, plus 20- 30 knots of natural ocean headwind right down the deck, and the Tri-Pacer can land with very little forward motion, almost like a Harrier or HelioCourier. Certainly no need for a tail hook or arresting gear. The Navy loved it. The day of reckoning finally arrived to fly “feet wet” to a rendezvous with the nuclear powered USS Eisenhower (CVN-69) at sea. I homed in on the “Ike’s” beacon and set up for the standard Navy approach as follows: fly at full cruise power upwind abeam the starboard side in the same direction as the ship is moving, until the ship is at your “7 o- clock.” Next comes “the break” as you roll into a 90 degree left bank – right wing points straight up at the sky, left wing straight down at the water – flying a crosswind turn around the bow of the ship to bleed off airspeed. Dial in the landing configuration on downwind. Then you roll into a left base and hold that bank for 185 degrees until you “roll into the groove” on final, 12 seconds from touch down. I would be lying to say my palms were dry. My line-up on the centerline was acceptable, angle of attack was good, “paddles” (the LSO - Landing Signals Officer) signaled to add a touch of power, cross over the round-off, fly it right down onto the deck, don’t flare, and BANG, my Tri-Pacer & I were safely aboard. I could start breathing again.
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FEBRUARY 2013 Once aboard the USS Eisenhower, the author observes Navy flight operations from “Vultures Row”. A few days later, following final system checks and inspections, the full high speed tests commenced. As I donned a “brain bucket” helmet then strapped into the left seat using my four-point harness, I got two thumbs ups from the test coordinator and Lycoming engineers who had modified the engine. I concentrated on the engine start procedure checklist. When I was ready to taxi, I keyed the microphone and requested clearance from the Air Boss, who first cleared the flight deck from his perch two stories above me up in “Pri Fly.” The Tri-Pacer on the flight deck of the “Ike” leading a formation take-off with a Navy chase plane in trail. The jet could not keep up with the modified Tri-Pacer.
The white shirted aircraft handlers directed me to the catapult using crisp, well rehearsed hand signals. Once in position over the catapult, a “green shirt” disappeared under the cowling to connect the shuttle and catapult bridle to my specially reinforced nose strut. I got the signal to initiate a full power run-up. This was no ordinary O-320. The modifications are no longer secret, so it can now be told that the standard Champion spark plugs were replaced with special di-lithium-cobalt crystal turbo- encabulator “spark plugs” pictured here. Watch a video fully explaining how the encabulators work:
CLICK HERE.
My Tri-Pacer bucked under the restraints of the “holdback.” I saw each of the four handlers posted on the corners give thumbs up as I cycled the yolk through its full travel, left-right-fore-aft. Then the catapult officer dropped down on one knee – my heart was pounding - with his arm extended forward, he pointed toward the bow briefly, then suddenly dropped his arm, touching two fingers to the deck – the signal to launch. Zoweeee! From zero to 135 kts in 2.5 seconds! It happened so quickly I almost forgot to hit the actuator switch to kick in the turbo-encabulator hyperdrive. I managed to reach the switch and throw it just as the nose wheel left the end of the catapult. Suddenly I was rocketing skyward like nothing I ever experienced before, accelerating past 370 knots in mere seconds. Airspeed was building too quickly, so I hauled back on the yolk and began a nearly vertical climb. The vertical velocity indicator was pegged at max rate of climb and the altimeter was winding up into the flight
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FEBRUARY 2013 levels. So I killed the hyperdrive, hauled back on the yoke performing an Immelmann maneuver to reverse course, and at the top I rolled upright, leveling the wings at 21,000 ft. Before I knew it, my craft was 30 miles behind the ship and in position to start the high speed run. After a 180-degree turn I aimed for the ship, pointed the nose on a 45 degree down-line, kicked in the hyperdrive again, and commenced the high speed test run. The ocean was racing up to meet me. The fabric began to whine like a wounded banshee. As I neared the carrier I leveled at 250 ft with all the stops out. The Lycoming up front was screaming like a tormented demon. The mach meter was flirting with 0.9. The smell of burning rubber filled the cabin as the tires began to cook from the friction – make a note: next time fly with the wheel pants on. I was thrashing about, thankful for the restraints and praying they would continue to hold me in the aircraft. The shaking became more violent. The instrument panel was a blur. I wondered if the trusty PA-22 would hold together. Suddenly – BOOM! It got strangely quiet as I slipped through the sound barrier. All I could hear now was my heart pounding and the confident purring of that turbo-encabulated Lycoming up front. This picture documenting the event is a rarity. It takes just the right combination of conditions and events to capture passing the sound barrier. Not only were the water vapor, density and temperature just right, but there just happened to be a shutterbug on deck to capture the moment. The Tri-Pacer is actually in transonic flight, with normal shock waves emanating from behind the landing gear and across the empennage and tail surfaces. The condition will last for only an instant, and once supersonic flow exists completely around the aircraft, sharp-angled sonic cones replace the normal shock waves. The odds of getting a shot like this are staggering.
With the first test run completed successfully, I hauled back on the controls and pointed the nose straight up at heaven. This time I wanted to see just how high my little Tri- Pacer could go. Up, up, up the burning blue I topped the windswept heights where neither lark nor eagle flew. As I leveled off at 72,000 ft, I noticed the deep black of space above me and could see the curvature of the earth spread out before me. It was exhilarating, but I was not dressed for the intense cold. I was only wearing a t-shirt from a Caribbean cruise. It was time to head back to the ship. I requested a fly-by of the ship’s “tower” but the Air Boss gave me a “NEGATIVE!” It was a good thing because the little Lycoming had given it’s all and gave up the ghost well before I reached the ship. Penetrating the deep cold of the stratosphere after a flaming run at sea level must have done some shock cooling damage. I shut her down and announced an “engine out, dead stick landing”. There was no time to clear the F/A-18
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FEBRUARY 2013 Hornets off the flight deck, and no margin for error. I had to get it right the first time – no “bolter” or go-around for a second shot at it. I flew the “meatball” right to touchdown as the Captain adjusted the “Ike’s” speed to accommodate my Tri-Pacer’s gentle descent profile. At left, the author sits in Capt. Alan Gemmill’s chair on the bridge of the “Ike” as the special visitors pose with the Captain for a VIP picture to commemorate the occasion. At right, the author having lunch with F/A-18 Hornet jocks on the “Ike” that were all ears to hear what it was like to break the sound barrier in a propeller driven general aviation aircraft.
Once on board, a tug smartly positioned my Tri-Pacer on the ship’s elevator and we were lowered to the hanger deck below, where it was secured. At the mission debriefing that immediately followed, the first thing I heard was a quiet, gentle, demure voice whispering in my ear, “Honey, it’s time to wake up from your nap - dinner’s ready.” Author: Dr Ralph Gutowski From www.shortwing.org (Ohio Chapter)
For several years, the Vernon Flying Club has been raising money to assist Vernon families less fortunate than we to have a nicer Christmas than would otherwise be possible. Below is a letter received from an official of the group with whom we have been working.
THANK YOU To the members of the Vernon Flying Club I am writing this letter to thank you so much for the kind donation towards a family in our community. I got to have the pleasure of dropping the hamper off to the family. The mom was absolutely speechless with the beauty of your hamper. She was amazed at how beautifully-wrapped the gifts were and was so touched that you even thought of adding in bows and tags so that she could put her own touch on them. She was equally taken with the thought of giving the kids “dressy” outfits and was so excited to get them dressed up for a family Christmas picture. Those are memories that last forever for our families. I want to thank you so much for trusting me to pass on your lovely gift. It is a true gift for me to be able to be the face of your blessing. The fact that you took the time to wrap up the gifts so beautifully took the mom’s breath away. She was also very excited to do some baking with her kids and take them on some fun family outing in the community. This is such a treat for this family. I wish you all a very merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Sincerely Megan McDonnell NOYFSS
I was sitting on a bus behind a mother and her young son. Her boy kept looking around and making weird funny faces at me. After a few minutes I tired of his antics so I said, "When I was a young boy my mother told me that if I made an ugly face it just might stay that way." The little toad replied, "Well, you can't say you weren't warned."
COPA Flight 65
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FEBRUARY 2013
Oslo Mosquito Raid From Wikipedia No. 105 Squadron Mosquito B Mark IV in 1942
The Oslo Mosquito raid (25 September 1942) was a British air raid on Oslo, Norway, during World War II. The target of the raid was the Victoria Terrasse building, the headquarters of the Gestapo. It was intended to be a "morale booster" for the Norwegian people and was scheduled to coincide with a rally of Norwegian collaborators.
Preparation The operation was carried out by four de Havilland Mosquito aircraft of No. 105 Squadron RAF, led by Squadron Leader George Parry, flying with navigator Flying Officer "Robbie" Robson. The other three crews consisted of: Flight Lieutenant Pete Rowland and Flying Officer Richard Reilly Flying Officer Alec Bristow and Pilot Officer Bernard Marshall
Flight Sergeant Gordon Carter and Sergeant William Young. In order to shorten the mission distance, the four aircraft were flown to RAF Leuchars in Fife, Scotland, where they were refuelled and loaded with four delayed action 500 pounds (230 kg) bombs each.
The operation The operation involved a round trip distance of 1,100 miles (1,800 km), with a flying time of 4.75 hours, making it the longest mission flown with Mosquitos at that date. The bombers crossed the North Sea at heights of less than 100 ft (30 m) to avoid interception by enemy aircraft and navigated by dead reckoning. Each aircraft was armed with four 500 lb bombs with 11 second delayed action fuses since in such a low level attack the bombs had the potential to damage the aircraft that had dropped them. Despite their low altitude, the Mosquitos were intercepted by two Focke-Wulf Fw 190 fighters of 3/JG 5 flying fromStavanger, causing Gordon Carter's Mosquito to make a forced landing in Oslofjord. Rowland and Reilly were pursued by the other Fw 190 until it clipped a tree and was forced to break off the attack. At least four bombs penetrated the Gestapo HQ; one failed to detonate, while the other three crashed out through the opposite wall before exploding. The building was not destroyed, but several civilian residences were, and 80 civilians were killed or injured. The Norwegian government in exile, which did not know about the raid, later expressed serious concern to the British government. Official announcements by the German occupation forces claimed that several British aircraft had been shot down, when in reality a single Mosquito had been lost.
Impact Although the raid had failed to achieve its main objective, it was considered dramatic enough to be used to reveal the existence of the Mosquito to the British public, and the following day (26 September) listeners to the BBC Home Service learned that a new aircraft - the Mosquito - had been revealed for the first time by the RAF, and that four had made a low level attack on Oslo.
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked. ~ David Letterman I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire, God dammit; I'm a billionaire. ~ Howard Hughes
COPA Flight 65
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FEBRUARY 2013
SOME JET DEVELOPMENT… The United States entered the jet age on October 2, 1942, when the Bell XP-59 made its first test flight from Muroc Dry Lake (now Edwards Air Force Base), but the new fighter's performance proved to be too disappointing for it to be committed to combat. Bell tried to improve the basic design with a more refined and more powerful twin-engine escort fighter, the XP-83, which first flew on February 25, 1945. Although it did have better range than the P-59 and had admirable maneuverability, the U.S. Army Air Forces (USAAF) had its eye on more promising designs that were waiting in the wings, and only two XP-83s were built. One of those promising designs was the Lockheed P-80 Shooting Star, which would live up to its name in the decade to follow. Designed by Clarence L. 'Kelly' Johnson, William P. Ralston and Don Palmer around a de Havilland H.IB Goblin engine, the prototype XP-80 made its maiden flight on January 8, 1944, just 198 days after the USAAF approved its construction. Production versions of this outstandingly clean fighter, powered by General Electric or Allison jet engines, would serve with distinction over Korea, where one of them would score the first jetversus-jet victory over a Chinese-flown MiG-15 on November 7, 1950. A two-seat trainer version, the T-33A, would see even more extensive service long after the P-80 had been superseded by newer fighter designs. The T-33, in turn, led to a successful allweather fighter, the F-94 Starfire, which made its flying debut on April 16, 1949.
A final descendant of the P-80, with a 35-degree wing sweep and a needle nose, the XF90, made its first flight on June 3, 1949, but its performance proved to be disappointing and it was passed over in favor of the North American F-86A Sabre and the McDonnell XF-88 Voodoo.
SAFARI
A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion. What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked. "Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
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FEBRUARY 2013
Robbie Burns Celebration By Alison Crerar.
In honour of Robbie Burns Birthday this year, some of the members who usually partake in the evening's fun were unfortunately indisposed for one reason or another. This was most unfortunate as those of us who attended were greatly entertained! There has been some 'restructuring' and this was the best celebration I've personally attended...the evening was fast-moving; a lot of fun, and the meal was fantastic. For those who have never attended a Robbie Burns night, usually because they don't care for bagpipes (known as either the best or worst musical instruments in the world, depending on the ear of the beholder!) and fear of having to consume 'the haggis', please be assured that there's much more to the evening than that!! The pipes and drums are actually a very small part of the evening and the bands (Kalamalka Highlanders and the Aaran Campbell Memorial Youth Pipe Band) come out and entertain for a (regrettably, to us Scots) short time after the meal and between the other modes of entertainment. Haggis too is a small and optional part of the meal, which consists of Roast Beef and an array of accompaniments provided by a local caterer who does a very fine job. The requisite toasts are laced with humour, unlike the dry monologues of the past, and a small contingent of the band provides musical entertainment with a few lively songs and excellent musicianship. There's a short sing-along (words provided) and Scottish Country Dancing that all are welcome to join in.....simple instruction given.....or you can relax and enjoy the dancing as a spectator sport while enjoying the cash bar, single malt included! To add to the fun there's a bag auction with many great prizes, and a 50/50 draw that yielded over $200.00 to the winner. All of the evenings events were well spaced and wellpaced, and the night of fun was over at 10:00. On Sunday morning I continued the tradition of Scottish Oatcakes and honey butter, fresh baked, for coffee morning at the Flying Club. They seem to have been very well received! Next year, I hope we will be able to gather a full table of Flying Club members to honour the bard! The picture at right shows (L-R) Dave and Alison Crerar and Carolyn Neish and Stuart McLean. BREAKING STORY And, a pretty story it is not! It’s about 200 crows found dead near Regina with the resultant concern for Avian Flu. They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, much to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact. The Province then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck kill versus car kill. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck." (Don’t blame me; my brother sent it to me...)
COPA Flight 65
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FEBRUARY 2013
YOUR ENGINE AND THE FIXED-PITCH PROPELLER The effect the propeller has on engine operation and on aircraft performance is quite significant. Based on questions which have been asked by aircraft owners and from experience, there are several areas of propeller-related information which may be of interest. Aircraft equipped with a fixed-pitch propeller will usually have static RPM (full throttle with aircraft standing still) limitations and full power in-flight RPM limitations spelled out in the Pilot’s Operating Handbook. If static RPM is below the minimum speci- fied, the engine could be low in power. However, experience has shown that this is not always true. Faulty induction air systems and/or faulty exhaust systems have been shown to contribute to indications of low power. A propeller which is ever so slightly less than perfect may cause the static RPM to be outside the designated full throttle static RPM zone. In addition to these other factors, it is not unusual to find a tachometer which is inaccurate. If an incorrect static RPM reading is observed during the engine check, any one or all of these components could be at fault. The tachometer may be the easiest to check as there are hand-held devices that quickly give an RPM reading that will verify the accuracy of the standard aircraft instrument. Knowing the accuracy limits of the aircraft tachometer may eliminate the need for further examination of the engine and propeller, or it may confirm the need for further troubleshooting. In any case, consider each component of the system before blaming low-static RPM reading on one of them. Another aspect of operation with a fixed-pitch propeller came in the form of a question from a Lycoming engine owner. He indicated that the propeller provided by the airframe manufacturer had been exchanged for a cruise propeller. (This exchange should only be done with FAA approval.) With the new cruise propeller in use, an increase in fuel usage was soon apparent. Operating costs increased, and an explanation was requested. It is well known that the amount of horsepower taken from an engine will have a direct relationship to the amount of fuel used. Therefore, it can be deduced that use of the cruise propeller increased the horsepower requirement. This deduction deserves some additional explanation. As an example, the standard propeller supplied with an aircraft may allow the engine to develop 180 horsepower at 2700 RPM at full throttle, in flight at sea level, with a standard temperature. The Lycoming O-360-A Series normally aspirated engine illustrates this example. Next, let us assume that this same engine/propeller combination is operated at 75% power with a “best economy” fuel/air mixture setting. Again, assume sea level and standard temperature to simplify and standardize the discussion. 75% power will require about 2450 RPM with a brake-specific fuel consumption of .435 pounds per brake horsepower hour. Also, 75% of the 180 rated horsepower is equal to 135 horsepower. Fuel usage at this power and mixture setting will be 58.7 pounds per hour or 9.8 gallons per hour. The mathematics to arrive at this fuel usage are simple: 180 HP X 75% of power = 135 HP 135 HP X .435 BSFC = 58.7 lbs. of fuel 58.7 lbs. of fuel 6 lbs. per gal. = 9.8 gal. per hour Having made some assessments about what can happen with a standard propeller, now we will try to see what happens when a cruise propeller is installed in place of the original. The first thing we must know about the cruise propeller is that it has more pitch than the standard propeller. This means it will take a bigger “bite” of air than the original propeller with each revolution. This bigger bite of air will have an effect on aircraft performance and on how the engine may be operated. Taking a bigger bite of air increases the resistance to the turning propeller. Perhaps it may be easiest to imagine what happens by considering your hand when held in the airstream outside a moving automobile with the palm forward as compared to having the side of the hand forward. Because of this increased resistance, the static RPM will be lower than with the original propeller. The
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FEBRUARY 2013 same thing will be true when full throttle, inflight RPM, is compared to that of the standard propeller at a similar altitude and temperature. This will reduce takeoff per- formance of any aircraft. Using the earlier example, the engine was rated at 180 horsepower at full throttle and 2700 RPM. Now, in spite of applying full throttle, the increased resistance reduces the maximum attainable RPM to something less than 2700. As a result of not developing the rated 2700 RPM, the engine also will not develop the power for which it was rated. Since maximum power is less than full rated, aircraft performance will suffer. This should be considered before a fixed- pitch propeller is chosen or exchanged for a different model. At this point, we must return to the original question. Why does the engine require more fuel with the cruise propeller? It is an accepted fact that the cruise propeller is more efficient for cruise operation, so it would not be unusual to follow this line of thinking. Seventy-five percent of rated power, using the original propeller at sea level and standard temperature, required a throttle setting to achieve 2450 RPM. Therefore, without more thoughtful consideration, it seems logical that the cruise propeller might also be set for 2450 RPM when 75% power is desired. Of course, there is an increase in performance, but this can be attributed to the more efficient cruise propeller. Next comes the realization that the improved cruise performance isn’t all efficiency. Instead of 9.8 gallons of fuel, the engine is now using a greater amount of fuel per hour. For purposes of this illustration, let us assume that the number is 11 GPH. By reversing the mathematics used earlier, it is possible to estimate the horsepower and percentage of power actually being used as a result of operating the cruise prop at 2450 RPM with a best economy fuel/air mixture. 11 GPH X 6 lbs. per gallon = 66 pounds 66 pounds .435 BSFC = 151.7 horsepower 151.7 HP 180 rated HP = 84.3% of power Assuming a fuel usage of 11 gallons per hour for this problem provides a reasonably realistic example of the change that a different fixed-pitch propeller might create. It also illustrates the need for pilots to change their habits when a propeller is changed. In addition to the change of habits, the discussion shows a real need to reevaluate the takeoff, climb and cruise performance of an aircraft if the fixed-pitch propeller is changed for a different model. Another very important point concerns leaning. Remember that Lycoming recommends leaning to best economy only at 75% of rated horsepower or less. It is very possible that leaning to roughness or to peak on the EGT gage could cause serious damage if the engine is actually producing more than 75% of rated horsepower as shown in this illustration. With this information as background, it is easy to see that setting a desired power with a fixed-pitch propeller can only be accomplished if the pilot has a chart that applies to the specific aircraft/engine/propeller combination. Although the power chart for a new aircraft may come from data obtained by test flying with a calibrated torque meter, a fairly accurate chart can be derived for any fixed-pitch propeller and engine combination. Briefly, this is done by finding the maximum available RPM at any particular altitude and applying data from the propeller load curve. To conclude, the purpose of this article is to make readers more aware of some operational aspects of the fixed-pitch propeller. Usually, it is only necessary to accept the material provided by the airframe manufacturer and to use the engine/propeller as directed. If a propeller change is made, or on those rare occasions when we question the power available to the pro- peller, the material presented here could prove to be helpful. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEM THE SEXES Friendship amongst Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's ten best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship amongst Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's ten best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. RELIGION When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land. ~ Desmond Tutu
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That Little Ercoupe The Ercoupe was an oddball airplane. With no rudder pedals, it could get "interesting" to fly in crosswinds. It was underpowered, cramped and slow. But this strange little machine sure was fun to fly...and cheap! Phil Rowe reminisces about some of his Ercouple experiences back in the '60s. May 1, 1998 by Philip A. Rowe
M
y little green and white Ercoupe (N3948H) was a joy to fly. Its bubble About the Author ... canopy and low wing afforded great visibility, allowing easy scanning for Phil Rowe is a retired USAF other traffic and enjoyment the view. navigator and R&D engineer, and Of course, some folks thought the airplane was a bit unusual. It didn't have now does freelance writing, mostly rudder pedals, only a wheel for controlling flight. Its combined aileron and about his own flying experience in rudder system was unique. It also had a limiting collar on the elevator control travel of the 33 types and models of military wheel to preclude excessive nose up, potentially leading to stalls. The only foot controls were aircraft, from props to jets. the wheel brakes. You drove the plane through the air or on the ground like an automobile. Phil served in a variety of aircrew Very different. positions, as: celestial navigator, That Ercoupe, a small under-powered two-seater, was hardly a high-performance machine. radar navigator and bombardier, Its little 75 horsepower Continental engine, fitted with a longer-than-standard fixed-pitch cruise electronic warfare officer, flight propeller made it mighty sluggish on climb-out. I recall struggling one day for two hours to get engineer and photo reconnaissance it above 8,500 feet! That's all she'd do. systems operator. He also served as She wasn't exactly a speed demon, either. Top speed was at best 120 knots. But, she was flight test engineer on three an economical bird to fly. She sipped barely five gallons of gasoline per hour, except during projects. Favorite airplanes include climb-out. Then she'd slurp down petrol at a ravenous seven to eight gallons per hour. Of the RF-4C, B-58A, B-52D and a few course, that wasn't usually much of a problem, because we never tried to climb very high. light planes - including sailplanes. The plane actually belonged to a friend, also stationed at Bunker Hill Air Force Base, Indiana. I got to use it almost as much as he did, though, in exchange for helping him buy insurance and getting the bird onto the base. It nested snugly in the big heated hangar where Aero Club birds were kept. That was terrific, especially in the cold and snow of those mid-western winters. My friend and I took turns flying it. Fortunately, our duty schedules meshed almost perfectly. He was on alert when I was not, and vice-versa. So it was almost like having my own airplane, without the headaches. Such a deal. We each contributed two dollars per hour of flight to a kitty dedicated to annual inspection and repair costs. And with 80-octane avgas at twenty-five cents per gallon, she was very economical to operate. Hmmm...did I mention that this was back in the 1960s? Flying her from that Air Force base presented some interesting experiences. That tiny little airplane was dwarfed by the B-58 bombers and KC-135 tankers. We had to be really careful not to get in their way or caught in the jet wash of their huge engines. We must have looked like a gnat to the commanders of those big airplanes!
Crosswind technique
Since the plane had no separate rudder control, taking off and landing under crosswind conditions could be challenging, or at least quite different from conventional airplanes. Having a 200-foot wide runway made handling crosswinds a lot easier, because we could take off and land on a diagonal, while remaining on the pavement. In fact, if the crosswind was strong, the takeoff and landing roll wasn't much longer than the runway was wide. On narrow runways, crosswinds were a bit more interesting. On takeoff we'd typically roar down the runway until speed exceeded that needed for liftoff, and then quickly yank her airborne to avoid scrubbing the tires in crosswinds. For landing we'd establish a crab to compensate for the winds and firmly plop her down, while letting go of the control wheel. She'd straighten out, like an arrow, and track down the runway pretty much on her own.
Speed control
One cold but sunny winter day, I got to practice some ground-controlled radar approaches. Traffic was especially light at the airfield and the GCA controllers were willing to practice their skills on me. They guided me to a long straight-in approach to the runway, taking me eight miles or more off to the northeast of the base and then directing me back for landing. My airspeeds were around 90 knots, making me a barely moving target on their radar scopes. After two or three practice approaches, they suddenly asked me to expedite my landing. There was a B-58 "Hustler" coming in behind me at its usual 220 knots approach speed. I was becoming a problem. "Okay, GCA. I'll expedite," I responded. Soon I was just a mile from the end of the runway, screaming along at 120 knots. That was as fast as I could go, believe me. Still it wasn't enough, so GCA told me to turn left and clear the traffic pattern. Within seconds that big jet roared past me for landing. I decided that Ercoupe wasn't meant to mix it up with the big boys.
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FEBRUARY 2013 Fuel system
On another flight, a fuel system problem highlighted one more unusual feature of the little Ercoupe. On a short hop to Fort Wayne, just 60 miles northeast of Bunker Hill, I noticed that the float gauge indicator of the reserve tank looked low. Sure enough, I was burning fuel out of that little tank forward of the instrument panel, and not from the wing tanks. The float was dropping down, indicating that the reserve tank was no longer full. Normally, fuel is pumped from the wing tanks into the reserve tank, and from there it gravity-fed to the engine. So normally, the reserve tank stays full unless the wing tanks have run dry. I wondered if it was really a dropping of the reserve tank fuel or, perhaps, a bad float. The fuel gauge was pretty basic: a small metal rod, protruding up through the reserve tank gas cap provided a simple and direct indication of how much fuel the tank held. A full tank pushed the float to its topmost position and plenty of rod was visible. But now the rod was shorter, by half, indicating a low fuel condition. The fuel gravity fed into the engine carburetor, so long as the reserve tank held fuel. I feared that soon it wouldn't. Upon landing at Fort Wayne, I taxied over to the repair shop in a big wooden hangar. The mechanic confirmed my suspicions that my fuel pump was not filling the reserve tank. A replacement pump solved the problem. I was on my way, seventy-five dollars poorer, within an hour. Luckily, we had enough money in the maintenance kitty to cover that expense.
Low maintenance
In the two or three years that I enjoyed the luxury of access to that little airplane, we repaired very little. A new battery and a replacement windshield were the only significant fixes I recall. Most of the routine servicing and minor repairs we did ourselves. Ercoupes are very simple airplanes. I sure miss flying that delightful little airplane. But what I really miss most of all is the low cost of flying which no longer exists. At today's prices, I can't even afford to fly anymore. Too bad.
THE BIRTHDAY CRUISE A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink, a lady to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up' says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor, but water is a whole other issue.'
DUI I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been lucky not to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the various social sessions over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many,topping them off with a tequila shot. Or two. Not a good idea. Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but because it was a taxi, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise: I have never driven a taxi before and am not sure where I got it.
SENIORS MOMENT? There was a bit of confusion at the Sporting goods store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to Harper about the gun registry people running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!
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Bad Judgement Gets Worse January 17, 2013 by Armand Vilches IFR Refresher Magazine
A pilot who had twice extensively damaged airplanes by flying into thunderstorms tries it a third time. This time he doesn't live to tell about his own foolishness. Remember back to when we were student pilots, with maybe 20 hours under our belts? We all asked our instructors "How many hours do you have?" Even if the answer came back as "400," we were in awe because our instructor had 20 times our experience. Of course he was a great pilot; he had all those hours. Later, after earning our private certificates perhaps we met a pilot with 1000 hours, and then someone with even more flight time and a fancy airplane came into our aviation life. If we were sharp enough, we soon realized that hours in a logbook or the type of aircraft being flown can't hold a candle to a difficult to pin down concept known as judgment. Judgment we learned is the real core of what makes someone a good pilot. Living The Dream The 52-year-old private pilot with an instrument rating rode the crest of the HiTech wave during the early part of this century. His contributions to his company culminated in an Initial Public Stock Offering which allowed him the luxury to retire early, enjoy life, sit on various boards and become a philanthropist. Note: similar to accident aircraft
As a pilot, he had accumulated a total of 790 hours. Of those hours, 59 were in actual IMC and 300 hours were in his 1992 turbocharged A36 Beechcraft Bonanza. This Bonanza was his second A36. During the previous year he had flown 110 hours, of which 40 of those hours were accumulated in the 90 days preceding the accident. His brother described the pilot as an experienced instrument pilot who continued to take lessons in order to keep his skills sharp. Family Trip The pilot and his wife were on an extended family trip visiting their daughter in nearby Olive Branch, Mississippi. It was Tuesday morning and it was time to go home. At the same time a fast moving cold front was racing across the country. The day before the accident the front was in western Colorado. The day of the accident it was approaching western Mississippi. If there is one thing we know about fast moving cold fronts in the
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FEBRUARY 2013 South, it's that the weather is going to get nasty as moisture gets sucked up out of the Gulf. But give it a day and all we will be facing is bumpy skies in VFR or mild IFR conditions. At 9:00 local the pilot called Flight Service to file an IFR flight plan home. His destination was DeKalbPeachtree Airport, near Atlanta. During the weather discussion, the briefer asked the pilot, "Do you require the latest adverse [weather] conditions?" The pilot answered, "No, that's why we are getting out of here." Before ending the phone call, the briefer confirmed, "…you did say you had the adverse conditions?" The pilot replied, "Yes, I do." Severe Thunderstorms Forecast Earlier that morning the National Weather Service issued a Severe Weather Forecast Alert in effect for the entire time the Bonanza was expected to be in the air. Moreover, the forecast covered most of the route of flight from Olive Branch to Atlanta. The alert warned of severe thunderstorms with hail to 1½ inches, wind gusts to 70 knots, and extreme turbulence, with maximum cumulonimbus cloud tops to 50,000 feet. Storm movement was from 240 degrees at 50 knots. Embedded thunderstorms were forecast. A tornado watch was in effect. At 09:25 the Bonanza departed Olive Branch and began a climb to its filed cruise altitude of 17,000 feet. 29-minutes after departure and at 14,800 feet the Bonanza entered a line of severe storms which mimicked the weather alert issued earlier. The Beechcraft was spat out a storm with such force the debris trail covered 15 miles and took three days to completely trace. It then took another three days to recover 70% of the airplane. The Other Side Of The Story As is often the case, people who knew the pilot spoke up after the accident. This was not the first or even the second time the pilot had flown through severe weather. He had done it at least twice before. The pilot's mechanic was willing to speak. Sometime earlier the pilot brought his first A36 to the mechanic's maintenance facility for weather damage. He had flown it through a weather system so severe the aircraft almost had an in-flight breakup. The mechanic was truly surprised the aircraft was able to make it to the shop without coming apart in flight. The estimate to repair the aircraft included more than 1300 hours of labor and countless parts. Not surprisingly, the aircraft was declared a total loss. The pilot blamed autopilot issues in IMC and immediately purchased the accident turbocharged A36 Bonanza. He Did It Again 30 days after the purchase, the pilot returned to the repair facility after flying through "heavy" weather announcing nonchalantly "I did it again." Again, blame was placed on an autopilot malfunction in IMC, but the mechanic would have none of that and called the pilot out. He sat the pilot down and said, "Don't come in here again and tell me that your autopilot got away from you." The pilot's wife refused to fly with the pilot after this incident. The mechanic then commented how his repair facility now had two overstressed airplanes parked next to each other on the ramp. The second airplane was not as badly damaged as the first, it was reparable, although it required extensive work. When asked by investigators about the type of
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FEBRUARY 2013 weather the pilot flew through, all the mechanic could say was "I've looked at what he flew into and 'shoot' man, I'd have stayed home." The pilot was required to take a "709" ride with an FAA inspector and receive remedial training from a highly qualified upset training instructor after the second event. The mechanic said he continued to worry about the pilot for two years, but the pilot seemed to get better and the mechanic eventually stopped worrying. It is only a hunch, but probably safe to say this pilot didn't get better and his flying through heavy weather never stopped. Anger Accidents in Instrument Metrological Conditions almost always involve fatalities. It doesn't seem to much matter how many hours the pilot has in his or her logbook. That fact is driven home each and every time I write the "In The Crunch" piece. Writing about accidents takes some time and effort to remain dispassionate and analytical. I always step back after the first read of an accident report, take a deep breath and appreciate the accident involved real people and genuine tragedies. I also grasp that in many cases there but for the grace of God and a long-handled spoon go many of us. Nevertheless, sometimes I come across an accident where all I feel is anger. This is a classic. I feel anger because one more fatal accident is added to our already less than great safety record. I feel even more anger because the accident gives the non-flying public more fodder to feed anti "little airplane" sentiments. I also feel anger because the aviation people who knew this pilot tried to educate him or take him out of the system but it wasn't enough. Finally, I feel tremendous anger towards the pilot. If it weren't for his insistence on continuing his pattern of arrogant actions an innocent life would have not have been lost. When It's Time To Step In The lesson in this article is different than the lessons I usually write about. Many of us know a pilot like this character; someone, through personality defect or other reasons, goes beyond lacking the judgment to be safe in an airplane to the point where he consciously disregards the lives of himself and others. It may be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but the right thing to do is to step in. First speak directly to the pilot and assertively try to convince him to ground himself. If that doesn't work, contact your local FSDO to work to have the pilot grounded. Think of how you'll feel if you don't act and he kills someone. From AvWeb Armand Vilches is a commercial pilot, instructor and FAASTeam member who lives in Brentwood, TN. He brings an extensive background in risk management and insurance to aviation and flight instruction.
In honour of Robbie Burns Day… Alfred Hitchcock is purported to have said: “I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig”. (Ed note: I will not be taking calls originating from the Crerar household…)
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FEBRUARY 2013 I think we’ve all heard of “frivolous” lawsuits (the hot coffee in the lap) and thought “that’s some foolish. I hope saner heads prevail. Well, here’s one of those…)
Educational Malpractice Doctrine Applies to Aircraft Flight Training 1Oct 2011by James Ball
In January 2003, a Cirrus SR-22 crashed in low visibility near Hill City, Minnesota. The two occupants of the recently purchased aircraft perished in the accident. The next of kin of the pilot and passenger later commenced an action against Cirrus and a university alleging that they failed to provide the pilot with adequate flight training. Similar to accident aircraft
The pilot, Gary Prokop, had obtained his pilot’s licence in 2001 and had logged about 225 hours of flight time (mostly on his previous aircraft, a slower and less complex Cessna 172). Mr. Prokop had not obtained his Instrument Rating. He was therefore not permitted to fly in meteorological conditions that were below VFR weather minimums. The forecasted weather for the route flown was marginal VFR; however, it appears that the weather was worse than forecast. The aircraft was observed flying low to the ground in low visibility and shortly thereafter it impacted with terrain. The NTSB found that the cause of the accident was spatial disorientation, with a contributing factor being the pilot’s improper decision to attempt flight into marginal VFR conditions and his inadvertent flight into instrument meteorological conditions. In order to fly the new aircraft, Mr. Prokop was required to obtain a high-performance endorsement. Although not required by the FAA, Cirrus offered transition training administered by the University of North Dakota Aerospace Foundation (“UNDAF”) as part of the purchase of the aircraft. At the completion of the training, Prokop received a high-performance endorsement that was valid in the SR-22 only. At trial, it was alleged that Cirrus failed to warn of the dangers associated with the use of its aircraft in instrument meteorological conditions. In addition, the Plaintiffs claimed that Cirrus and UNDAF failed to provided adequate training for Prokop. A jury allocated fault as follows: Cirrus, 37.5%, UNDAF, 37.5% and the pilot, 25%. Cirrus and UNDAF appealed the decision. The appeals court ruled that Cirrus was not required to provide the training and had adequately warned Prokop of the dangers of flying into instrument meteorological conditions. The appeals court also ruled that the claim against Cirrus and UNDAF for inadequate training was barred under the “educational malpractice doctrine”. For policy reasons, the educational malpractice doctrine in the United States bars claims against the adequacy or quality of an educational program. Courts are considered to be inadequately suited to determine the standard or quality of education provided by an institution. In addition, calculating damages for these types of claims (such as loss of income) would be extremely difficult, if not impossible. On June 28, 2011, the Minnesota Supreme Court agreed to further review the appeals court decision. We will continue to monitor this proceeding and will post an update when the Supreme Court’s ruling is handed down. Although no claims for educational malpractice have been successful in Canada to date (see Hozaima v. Perry et al.), courts have been reluctant to strike these lawsuits at the pleading stage. If the conduct of a teacher or institution is found to be sufficiently egregious, a plaintiff might be successful. Generally though, disputes of a purely academic nature are meant to be handled by an educational institution’s internal mechanisms. ...continued overleaf
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FEBRUARY 2013 Nine months later… 26Jul 2012by Michael Dery
In a previous post, we wrote about a lawsuit arising from the 2003 crash of a Cirrus SR-22 in low visibility near Hill City, Minnesota. In the lawsuit, the next of kin of the pilot and passenger claimed that Cirrus and a university failed to provide the pilot with adequate flight training on the subject aircraft. The appeal court found that the claim for inadequate training could not succeed as Cirrus did not owe a duty to the pilot to provide training. In addition, the claims were barred by the “educational malpractice doctrine”. The policy behind this doctrine is that courts are considered to be inadequately suited to determine the standard or quality of education provided by an institution. In addition, calculating damages for these types of claims (such as loss of income) would be extremely difficult, if not impossible. On July 18, 2012, the Minnesota Supreme Court issued its ruling after a further review of the appeal court decision. In its ruling, the Court confirmed that the duty to warn has never before required a supplier or manufacturer to provide training, only accurate and thorough instructions on the safe use of the product, as Cirrus had done in this case. As there was no requirement to provide training, the Supreme Court did not have to consider the appeal court’s application of the “educational malpractice doctrine” to flight training. From http://aviationlawblog.ahbl.ca
HOLY ORDERS Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store and as they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer since as I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand." "I can handle that without a problem" the other nun replied and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on her face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said, "Back at our nunnery, we call it Catholic shampoo.” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer. She then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers are on the house." BRINGIN’ BACK THE ROMANCE Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Bob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Bob's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Bob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer. "Gawdamighty,Bob, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want." “So, Here I am!”
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TIGER MOTH FOR SALE The seller and I have something in common: we both flew Sabres in Europe and we both have one more take-off than landing in our log books . It would be something to own this aircraft… What a show-stopper it would be! Read on…
I have enclosed a photo of Canada’s first de Havilland Tiger Moth. CF-BNF was completed in the late ‘30s as the prototype for Canada’s own “C” model of the famous DH 82 A. Because of the British Commonwealth Air Training Plan, Canada needed a trainer more suited to the weather to replace the open cockpit version then used by the British. Most of Canada’s training bases were hard surfaced, modifications such as brakes were needed. CF-BNF is the only Canadian built Tiger Moth never to have served in the RCAF, and was retained by de Havilland for the duration of the war as a research aircraft. At one time a Menasco engine was installed in CF-BNF for evaluation, as the United States military had ordered 25 Canadian Tiger Moths and was concerned with availability of the Gipsy Major. All 25 Tiger Moths were equipped with the Menasco engine. This transfer of aircraft did not go through and these aircraft were retained by the RCAF as radio trainers as the 125 HP engines were not suitable for flight training. All were eventually re-engined with Gipsy Majors, as was CF-BNF. In the book by Rod Brown, “Chipmunk…poor man’s Spitfire” CF-BNF can be seen as chase plane for Canada’s first Chipmunk….on page 57. Shortly after 1946 –BNF was sold off to the civilian market. It changed hands a number of times, eventually ending up in Georgia, in the hangar of Dr. John Burson. In 2005, being flown by Air Vice Marshal Ron Dick (RAF retired), the aircraft experienced an engine problem and made an offfield landing with some damage. I acquired the aircraft and have, over the past number of years, rebuilt it to its original condition as it was rolled out of the Downsview de Havilland factory so many years ago. CF-BNF is a true Canadian Historical aircraft. Certain additions have been installed because of present day safety considerations. The engine has been replaced with a “Zero” timed gipsy Major. Slick magnetos have been installed to ensure safe running, as well as a starter to avoid hand propping. A radio and transponder have also been installed. A 24 volt air-driven generator and battery system are installed as well. The aircraft is painted with butyrate dope and new “glass” installed in the canopy. I have a number of pictures available and should you wish to see more of CF –BNF. Please email me and I will forward them. I am offering this aircraft for sale. Should you or anyone you might know be interested, I am available to consider offers. Those interested can contact Harry Schoning at 72645 Skyward Way, Palm Desert, CA 92260 e-mail:
[email protected] Telephone760-217-4325
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LATEST PROPOSAL BY THE NRA TO CURB GUN VIOLENCE IN SCHOOLS
VERNON FLYING CLUB President: Len Schellenberg Vice-President: Bill Wilkie Secretary: Bev Bonner Treasurer: Bob Brandle Newsletter: John Swallow e-mail:
[email protected] Newsletter address: #76 – 6688 Tronson Road, Vernon, BC V1H 1R9 VFC Meetings are held the third Tuesday of each month at 7:00 p.m. MEMBERS: Any stories, anecdotes, tall tales, or outright lies gratefully solicited for the Newsletter. E-mail them or mail them to the Editor at the address listed above.
SCOTTISH OBITUARY Now, y’all don’t get yer knickers in a knot; this is only meant as back-up in case the teachers can’t stop the perpiator pariptator purpletraitor bad guys acomin’ into our schools. And don’t worry about the weapon being too big for our children. A new line of subcompact pistols in the .380 caliber have hit the market with great acceptance. These mini protectors are designed to be light and thin and can be carried in your son’s shirt pocket or your daughter’s small purse. But don’t let the small stature of these “tiny” guns fool you. The .380 packs a powerful punch and proves that big things can come in small packages. Just remember; guns don’t kill people: people kill people. With guns, of course…
PADDY’S DEAD… Paddy died. His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, to be sure; Paddy would be pleased," she said. "To be sure you're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on, how much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Colleen, "Forty thousand." "Aw, No!" Mary exclaimed. "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!" Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to the Church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone." Mary computed quickly. "For the love of God, Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?" Colleen relied: “Ten carats” and raised her right hand to show off a stunning rock… Got to love the Irish!
A Scottish woman went to the local newspaper office to publish the obituary for her recently deceased husband. The obits editor informed her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She paused, reflected and then said, "Aye, well then, let it read ‘Angus MacPherson died’." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor told her that there is a six word minimum for all obituaries. She thought it over for a while and that said, "Ach, in that case, let it read...'Angus MacPherson died. Bagpipes for sale'." THE QUICKIE IN THE BUSHES There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a path way for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.' He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you make a mess on its head.'
