The Muppets Christmas Carol based upon the novel A Christmas Carol in Prose (pub. 1843) by Charles Dickens (1812-1870) Scenes from 19th century London Gonzo as Charles Dickens, 19th century novelist, and Rizzo the Rat trying to sell apples while Rizzo is eating most of them: "I'm creating scarcity1, drives the prices up." Gonzo starts the story: "The Marleys were dead to begin with" Marleys: former business partners with Ebenezer Scrooge. Introduction of Ebenezer Scrooge by the citizens of London: When the cold wind blows, it chills2 you, Chills you to the bone But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart, Like years of being alone. It paints you with indifference3 Like a lady paints with rouge And the worst of the worst, The most hated and cursed4, Is the one that we call Scrooge. Unkind5 of any and the wrath6 of many, this is Ebenezer Scrooge. Oh, there goes Mr Humbug, There goes Mr Grim, If they gave a prize for bein' mean7, The winner would be him. Old Scrooge, he loves his money 'cause he thinks it gives him power, If he became a flavour8, You can bet he would be sour. (Even the vegetables don't like him)

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scarcity: Knappheit to chill: abkühlen 3 indifference: Gleichgültigkeit 4 cursed: verflucht (to curse: fluchen) 5 to be unkind of s.b.: jemandem gegenüber grausam/hart sein 6 wrath: Zorn 7 mean: gemein, geizig 8 flavour: Geschmack 2

2 There goes Mr Skinflint9, there goes Mr Greed10, The undisputed11 master of the underhanded12 deed, He charges13 folks a fortune14 for his dark and draughty15 houses, Us poor folk live in misery16, it's even worse for mouses17. (Please, sir, I want some cheese.) He must be so lonely, he must be so sad, He goes to extremes to convince18 us he's bad, He's really a victim19 of fear and of pride20, Look close and there must be a sweet man inside. (Nah, uhuh) There goes Mr Outrage21, there goes Mr Sneer22, he has no time for friends or fun, His anger makes that clear. Don't ask him for a favour 'cause his nastiness23 increases24, No crust of bread for those in need25, no cheeses for us meeces26. "Scrooge liked the cold, he was hard and sharp as a flint27..., secretive28, selfcontained29, as solitary30 as an oyster31." "There goes Mr Heartless, there goes Mr Cruel, He never gives, he only takes, He lets his hunger rule, If being mean's a way of life,

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skinflint: Geizhals greed: Gier 11 undisputed: unbestritten 12 underhanded: hinterhältig 13 to charge: in Rechnung stellen 14 fortune: Vermögen 15 draughty: zugig 16 misery: Elend 17 *mouses, falscher Plural von mouse, mice 18 to convince: überzeugen 19 victim: Opfer 20 pride: Stolz 21 outrage: Gewaltat, Schandtat, Zorn, Entrüstung 22 sneer: Hohn, Spott 23 nastiness: Garstigkeit 24 to increase: größer werden, ansteigen 25 those in need: die Bedürftigen 26 *meeces, falscher Plurl von mouse, mice 27 flint: Feuerstein 28 secretive: verschlossen, verschwiegen, heimlich tuerisch 29 self-contained: verschlossen 30 solitary: einzelgängerisch, eigenbrötlerisch 31 oyster: Auster 10

3 You practise32 and rehearse33, Then all that work is paying off34 'cause Scrooge is getting worse. Every day in every way, Scrooge is getting worse." "He was a tightfisted35 hand at the grindstone36, Scrooge, a squeezing37, wrenching38, grasping39, clutching40, covetous41 old sinner42" Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit, Scrooge's first accountant mortgage43 eviction notices44 "You may gift-wrap45 them" "spending mortgage money on frivolities"46 "December is the foreclosure47 season, harvest48 time for the money lenders Fred, Scrooge's nephew donation49 collectors from the Order of Victoria Foundation "If they'd rather die, then they'd better do it, and decrease50 the surplus population51" Mr Cratchit convinces Mr Scrooge of giving his staff the entire day off: "How much time off is customary on Christmas day?" "It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket52 on every December 25th."

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to practise: üben to rehearse: proben 34 to pay off: sich auszahlen 35 tightfisted: geizig, knauserig 36 grindstone: Schleif-, Mühlstein 37 to squeeze: quetschen 38 to wrench: reißen, abziehen 39 to grasp: ergreifen, fassen, packen 40 to clutch: umklammern 41 covetous: habgierig 42 sinner: Sündiger 43 mortgage: Hypothek 44 Räumungsbescheid 45 to gift-wrap: in Geschenkpapier einpacken 46 frivolity: Leichtigkeit, Frivolität 47 foreclosure: Zwangsvollstreckung, Verfall des Grundstücks an den Gläubiger, gerichtliche Hypotheksvollstreckung 48 harvest: Ernte 49 donation: Spende 50 to decrease: verkleinern, verringern 51 surplus population: Überbevölkerung 52 to pick s.b.'s pocket: jemandem das Geld aus der Tasche ziehen, bestehlen 33

4 "Scrooge lived in chambers that had long before belonged to his business partners." "The building was a dismal53 heap of brick54 on a dark street ... you must remember that the Marleys were dead and decaying55 in their graves." Gonzo: "I keep telling you, we narrators56 are omniscient57, I know everything." Rizzo: "Hoity-toity58, Mr God-like59 smarty-pants60 The ghosts of the Marley brothers haunt Scrooge to tell him to change: Scrooge: "There's more of gravy61 than of grave about you." M&M: "What a terrible pun62." We're Marley and Marley, avarice63 and greed, we took advantage of64 the poor, just ignored the needy65 We specialized in causing pain66 Spreading67 fear and doubt, And if you could not pay the rent, we simply through you out. (There was the year we evicted68 the entire orphange69! – I remember the little tykes70 all standing in the snowbank71 with their little frostbitten72 teddy bears.) We're Marley and Marley, our hearts are painted black. We should have known our evil deeds would put us both in shackles73 Captive bound74 we're double-ironed75, exhausted76 by the weight As freedom comes frome giving love, 53

dismal: düster, trostlos heap of brick: ein Haufen Mauersteine/Backsteine 55 to decay: verfallen, verrotten 56 narrator: Erzähler 57 omniscient: allwissend 58 hoity-toity, auch: highty-tighty: Ach, schau an! Etepetete 59 god-like: gottgleich 60 smarty-pants: Schlaukopf, Besserwisser 61 gravy: Zwiebelsauce 62 pun: Wortspiel 63 avarice: Geiz, Gier, Habsucht 64 to take advantage of s.b.: jdn. übervorteilen 65 needy: der Bedürftige 66 to cause pain: Schmerzen verursachen 67 to spread: verbreiten 68 to evict: räumen 69 orphanage: Waisenhaus 70 tyke: Lümmel 71 snowbank: Schneewehe 72 frostbitten: erfroren 73 shackle: Fußfessel 74 captive bound: an Fesseln gebunden 75 double-ironed: in doppelte Ketten gelegt 76 exhausted: erschöpft 54

5 so prison comes with hate Doomed77, Scrooge, you're doomed for all time, Your future is a horror story written by your crime, your chains are forged78 by what you say and do, So have your fun. When life is done, A nightmare79 waits for you. (We forged these chains in life by our acts of greed) "Speek comfort80 to me, friends!" M&M: "You will be haunted by three spirits Without these visits, you cannot hope to avoid the path we tread81." The Ghost of the Christmas Past Scrooge's childhood, apprenticeship at Fozzywig's rubber chicken factory, where he gets to know his fiancee Belle Belle and Ebenezer splitting up The Ghost of Christmas Present I wish to see kin82 to pull a handsome cup83 The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come "Spirit, I fear you more than any spectre84 I've met yet."

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to be doomed: dem Untergang verdammt sein to forge: schmieden 79 nightmare: Albtraum 80 comfort: Trost 81 to tread, trod, trodden: betreten, begehen 82 kin: Verwandschaft, Sippe 83 to pull a handsome cup: auf jdn. sein Glas erheben 84 spectre: Gespenst 78