The Honors Guide to Proper Etiquette Da’Monica Hunter Graduate Research Assistant to Elizabeth Brown-Guillory, Ph.D. Interim Dean, Thomas F. Freeman Honors College RJT Library, Lower Level Texas Southern University 3100 Cleburne Street Houston, TX 77004 Phone: 713-313-1332 Fax: 713-313-6772

Presentation by: Da’Monica Hunter

What is Etiquette?  A set of rules that govern the expectations of social and dining behavior in a workplace, group or society.  Manners are a visible sign that a person is a polished and knowledgeable professional.

 Displaying manners is an act of kindness and respect.

Good Manners and Etiquette Difference: • Good manners are rules for common actions of courtesy and politeness. • Etiquette describes the use of proper customs in social and business life. • Etiquette is ever evolving.

General Manners •Be considerate of others

•Offer assistance

•Show respect

•Compliment good work

•Use “excuse me”

•Learn, remember and use people’s names

•Listen to people before making suggestions

•Be patient

•Be courteous, kind, polite, and fair

What Good Manners Are Not Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward • Practicing good manners fosters self confidence • Cater behavior to the crowd and event in place • Practice • Be sincere and desire to treat people well for the right reasons Good manners are not smug and judgmental • As Charles Dickens once wrote: “My boy,” said a father to his son, “treat everyone with politeness—even those who are rude to you. For remember that you show courtesy to others not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one.”

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/17/heading-out-on-your-own-day-17-essential-etiquette-for-young-men/

Why Practice Good Manners? Good manners… • breed confidence. • make a positive impression on others. • make things in life smoother, more pleasant, and more comfortable for everyone. • make other people feel comfortable. • ultimately show respect for others.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/17/heading-out-on-your-own-day-17-essential-etiquette-for-young-men/

General Etiquette - Contents •Personal Manners When Meeting New Friends •Telephone Courtesy •Personal Relations

•Table Manners

Question: Where should proper etiquette be practiced?

The answer is...

•

Everywhere!

• • •

Home School Public

Benefits of Etiquette •Gives professionals the tools to impress clients and colleagues.

•It puts others at ease so that business can be conducted. •Gives the organization an overall polished, professional image. •Helps to establish rapport with others more easily. •Builds confidence and helps create a winning style.

•Possessing a high level of etiquette knowledge and skills builds confidence and instills the perception of trustworthiness in others.

Personal Manners When Meeting New Friends DO

DO NOT

•Smile

•Use “knuckle-buster” handshakes

•Firm handshake

•Do all the talking

•Stand for a lady

•Use foul language

•Repeat a new name

•Try always to be funny and the center of attention

•Use “you” more than “I” •Introduce new friends to others

•Say bad things about others

Inappropriate Greeting

Proper Handshake •Firm, but not bone-crushing •Lasts about 3 seconds

•May be "pumped" once or twice from the elbow •Is released after the shake, even if the introduction continues •Includes good eye contact with the other person

Personal Manners “I’d Like You to Meet…” Introduce People According to Custom •Younger person to older person

•Male to female •New friend to old friend •Employee to boss

•Student to teacher •Friends to parents

Personal Manners Introduction - Stick with a Plan •Mention each name twice •Tell something about each person • “Emma, meet Mrs. Sampson, my basketball coach. She helped me improve my free throw percentage.” • “Mrs. Sampson, I’d like you to meet my sister, Emma.”

Telephone Courtesy •Think ahead about what is to be achieved before placing the call •Adopt a pleasant tone with the person who answers the call •Establish the identity of the other party

•Indicate name and reason for calling •Inquire considerately whether the timing of the call is convenient •Take notes during the conversation

•Achieve closure • Be sure to say “Good-bye” before hanging up

Personal Relations •Important to the success of anything •Self examination/ introspection •Attitude is one’s outlook on life, may be positive or negative

•Try to maintain a positive attitude

Personal Manners Respect Others’ Space: What is a Good Comfort Zone? A. A foot if they are likeable. Four feet if not. B. Create an 18-inch personal zone. C. Move closer until they feel nervous. D. Space is an abstract concept.

Answer B. 18 inches

Getting into Good Grooming •Make sure to bathe or shower and to apply a deodorant/antiperspirant everyday •Brush teeth after eating or freshen breath with a mint •Be subtle with scents •Shampoo and condition hair often •Use makeup sparingly

•Keep fingernails trimmed •Wear natural hair colors •Maintain facial hair often

Words are the Currency of Etiquette Spend Them Wisely •“Please” and “thank you” •“No problem” is a problem •Code words exclude others

•Slang confuses others •Don’t forget to say “Hello” rather than “Hi”.

Building Vocabulary! •Avoid vulgar references and swear words. •Poor language IS NOT professional and offends some.

20

Taking Manners PUBLIC •P – Politeness is portable

•U – Use the basics •B – Be nice to everyone •L – Leave a place better than it was •I – Invert rudeness to niceness

•C – Continue courtesies

Dining Etiquette

Table Manners • Keep both feet flat on the floor. Keep shoes on! • It is acceptable to rest hands up to forearms on the table, but do not prop elbows on the table. • Sit up straight on at least three-quarters of the chair – away from the back of the chair. This way there is no need to bend over food. • In between courses, place both hands in lap. • Women, never place handbag on the table or hang it on the back of the chair. If it is small enough, set it on the floor slightly under the chair so that no one will trip over it.

Fox, Sue. Etiquette for Dummies. Foster City, CA: IDG Worldwide, 1999. Print.

Table Manners •Place napkin in lap after the host or guest of honor places theirs.

•Remember that liquids are placed to the right above the plate, and solids to the left. •Begin eating after the host does. If at a banquet or in a group dining situation, wait until all those around are served the first course, and then begin to eat together.

•Start from the outside utensils and work inward with each course.

Fox, Sue. Etiquette for Dummies. Foster City, CA: IDG Worldwide, 1999. Print.

Table Manners • Cut no more than two or three bits of food at a time. • Use napkin only to dab the corners of mouth. • After finishing a course, place knife and fork side by side in the 4:00 (sometimes called the 10:20 o’clock) position on the plate, the blade of the knife facing in. Never push plate or bowl away. • If there’s a need to leave the table during the meal, politely and ask to be excused, and lay napkin on chair • At the end of a meal, place napkin to the left of plate. Leave it sitting neatly, with no soiled areas showing.

Fox, Sue. Etiquette for Dummies. Foster City, CA: IDG Worldwide, 1999. Print.

Personal Manners Napkin goes: ___ on the table ___ in your lap Beverages are on: ___ left or ___ right? Side foods are on:

___ left or ___ right?

Personal Manners Silverware – The Shiny Truth Use silverware first from ___ inside or ___ outside? A knife is a: ___ spear ___ food holder ___ pointer

___ none of the above Between bites put utensils:

___ in hands ___ on table ___ on plate

Personal Manners What’s on Your Plate? Food is unpleasant: ___ hide it in napkin ___ eat a few bites ___ say it’s gross

If uncertain on how to eat a food: ___ don’t eat it ___ ask someone how ___ watch others

Food in mouth. Someone asks a question: ___ answer anyway ___ ignore the question ___ signal and answer later

Importance of First Impressions •Self presentation, from body language to attire, says a lot about the amount of self-respect and self-confidence an individual has. •These are the things that others use to form a first impression, and it is imperative that it be a good one.

•Psychologists say that most people form impressions of others in the first four minutes, and that 80 percent of the impression is based on nonverbal signs.

Dressing Right for Every Occasion What an individual wears reveals a lot of information to the world: •How a person feels about themselves •Occupation

•Where they might be spending their day •In the case of special occasions, what type of event they are attending •Learn to set aside personal preferences about clothing in favor of the most effective and appropriate clothes for a given situation

Fox, Sue. Etiquette for Dummies. Foster City, CA: IDG Worldwide, 1999. Print.

Dressing Tips for Women •Make sure that clothes fit you properly. Clothing that is too big, too small, too short, or too long is not flattering. •Dress according to body type. Certain styles complement some figures while others do not. •Find a suitable color palette, although there are no strict rules about who can wear which colors, know which colors are most flattering. • Dress tastefully. Please refrain from wearing very short skirts, low-cut blouses and dresses, sheer clothing, etc. •Undergarments should not show through clothing. Make use of strapless and convertible-strap bras. •Accessorize well, but in moderation. •Make sure that purses are appropriate to the season and the dressiness of the outfit.

•Don’t carry several bags at once. Carry one bag that can accommodate all necessary items.

Dressing Tips for Men •Don’t wear the same thing everyday. •Find a suitable color palette, although there are no strict rules about who can wear which colors, know which colors are most flattering. •Make sure that clothes fit properly. •Coordinate belts and shoes. •Wear tasteful jewelry.

Business Casual vs Casual • Business casual for men: button- •Casual for men: sport coats, opendown shirts, with or without a tie, necked shirts and khaki pants •Casual for women: informal pant •Business casual for women: neat suits, skirts with blouses pants, a shirt, and a cardigan sweater

What Not to Wear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y46OlBQczuc

Why Does it Matter? •Good manners serve as the foundation of strong social skills • looking into someone’s eyes when they talk and being a good listener aids in communication •Practicing good manners shows that an individual is respectful and considerate of others’ feelings •Good manners also set standards for others' behavior and encourages them to reciprocate with similar respect

Etiquette at School: Representing the Honors College •A person should always be thinking of those they represent. Considering this will make it less likely to say or do something regrettable •Look in the mirror. Self regulation and self evaluation are important. An individual’s actions, words, and motives should be pure. •Apologize when necessary. Everyone makes mistakes. The best way to represent when mistakes are made is to apologize – come clean and admit shortcomings. Believe it or not, an apology goes a long way to representing well. •Actions and words have consequences

http://www.jonstolpe.com/5-ways-to-represent-well/