ADVENT ASSISTANCE: For those who choose to participate in the season of Advent along with historical church calendars, this video and guide may be most useful on the fourth Sunday of Advent. On the fourth Sunday of Advent, we light a candle known as the Angel Candle or the Candle of Love. The most natural tie-in from the text with the candle is when the angel of the Lord visited Joseph and Mary individually and told them about the upcoming birth of Jesus and also commanded each not to fear. Joseph’s response to the news of Mary’s pregnancy even before the angel spoke to him in a dream was one that demonstrated his love and concern for Mary as his betrothed wife. The message the angel of the Lord shared with Joseph and Mary concerning Jesus and his destiny to be the Savior drips with a message of love from the heart of God to his people whom he loves. We realize different groups celebrate the birth of Jesus with different traditions. The Skit Guys desire to be helpful in whatever tradition you and yours use to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Merry Christmas! -We know why this works, don’t we? Because I’m watching you while you watch the screen, and I see a whole bunch of elbows being nudged into the sides of the one sitting next to you. One spouse is (make air quotes) “listening,” yet you can tell they’re a million miles away. You could calmly say that unicorns have just trampled the daisies in the backyard, and your spouse will say, “That’s nice, Honey.” There’s a theologian named Al Sterling who once said, “God will speak to you in one of two ways. He will whisper in your ear or smack you upside the head with a brick. Listen for the whisper, because the brick is going to hurt every time.” Try to put yourself into the shoes of both Joseph and Mary in this scene. What emotions must Joseph have been feeling when he found out Mary was pregnant? What questions raced through his mind in that moment? How do you think Mary must have felt as she conjured up the courage to break the news of her pregnancy to Joseph? Had she rehearsed what she was going to say? Remember the story of the prodigal son? The son who left finally came to his senses and rehearsed what he would say to his father: “I have sinned against God and against you. I am not worthy to be called your son . . .” and so on. But when he gets to his father’s house, he barely got the speech started when his father ran to embrace him.

skitguys.com

I want that for this story. I want Joseph to put down his tools and take Mary in his arms. We don’t know what happened at that moment—only that it must have occurred. Joseph was a good man. He did what men do: Men consider. Men resolve. Men decide. Then men act. How long was it between when Mary found out she was pregnant until Joseph was brought into the loop? We don’t know when or where or how Joseph found out about Mary’s pregnancy. The Bible doesn’t specify those details. We just know that he did find out. Both of these main characters in this part of the pre-Christmas story have their unique perspectives shared by a separate gospel writer for each person. Luke shares Mary’s perspective, while Matthew conveys Joseph’s vantage point. Let’s take a look at how Mary found out she was pregnant: In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with

skitguys.com

God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her” (Luke 1:26-38). Some of you can probably quote Beatles lyrics as easy as you can quote the Christmas story. When we hear Paul McCartney sing, “Let it Be,” we think, let it be—or leave it alone. Don’t stress. Don’t worry. But when we hear the words from Mary, it’s a decision to accept what’s coming however frightening. Luke dedicates thirteen verses to the scene that describe how Mary found out she was pregnant. Another seventeen verses from Luke 1:39-56 describe what Mary did after she received the news of her pregnancy: She went with haste to visit her relative—probably an older cousin—Elizabeth. Elizabeth and her aging husband, Zechariah, had also recently found out they were pregnant when an angel of the Lord shared the news with Zechariah while he was on duty serving as a priest in the temple. We don’t know exactly when Mary left to go visit and stay with Elizabeth during their pregnancies. What we do know is that before Elizabeth would give birth to Jesus’ cousin John, Mary had already gone back home: And Mary remained with her about three months and returned to her home (Luke 1:56). The verses that follow Luke’s narrative in chapter 1 then describe the birth of John. The next time Luke mentions Mary is in chapter 2 when she and Joseph are on their way to Bethlehem where she will give birth to Jesus and wrap him in swaddling clothes and lay him in the manger. However, nowhere in Luke’s gospel do we get a specific timeline or description of the place, circumstances, and moment that Joseph found out about Mary’s pregnancy. There are eighty total verses found in Luke chapter 1, and there is nary a clue about how and when Joseph found out the news of Mary’s pregnancy. What about Matthew’s perspective of the birth narrative? Surely he will give insight into the details of when, where, and how Joseph found out that the woman he would call his bride was with child. Matthew shares the male perspective of Joseph’s discovery: Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit (Matthew 1:18)

skitguys.com

That’s it; from Matthew’s vantage point regarding Joseph we get one verse that totals twenty-seven words in the Greek language. Compare that to Luke’s perspective of Mary receiving the news of her pregnancy: thirteen verses totaling 220 words. Perhaps God has a divine sense of humor since it has been estimated that a woman speaks approximately 20,000 words per day, while a man averages 13,000 less at only 7,000 words in a twentyfour-hour period. The more things change, the more things stay the same. Regardless, Joseph did have a response after receiving the news of Mary’s pregnancy. Again, Matthew does not give us the time-lapse sequence of his emotions and thought process. But he did process the news and formulated a plan of action based on that news from Mary. Matthew goes on to share Joseph’s analytical thought process, which was laced with emotions and motive. Verse 19 continues the story from Joseph’s outlook: Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus (Matthew 1:18-25).

What is it about dreams in the Scriptures that are so different from regular dreams? I’m sure people in those days dreamed the same way we do. Students dream about showing up for Hebrew school and they haven’t studied. Somebody dreams about walking through the marketplace haggling over the price of fish and suddenly they’re naked. But when

skitguys.com

God enters dreams, there seems to be no question. People wake up and do exactly as they were told.

Joseph had already considered, resolved, decided—but he had not yet acted. Now— because of a dream—he went against everything he knew. He took Mary in his arms. What an act of faith that was.

And although women were not permitted to be educated back then, we know Mary was a bright girl. She probably heard the rabbi teaching her brothers. Did she know the prophecies? Did she know the parts about the Messiah being the sacrificial lamb? If she did . . . she was stronger in that moment than any of us can imagine.

While there is a lot we don’t know about the circumstances around the exact timing, place, and way Joseph found out about Mary’s pregnancy, there are elements of the story we do know concerning this central family of the Advent account. Matthew 1:18 and Luke 1:27 specify that Mary was “betrothed to Joseph.” The Jewish custom of betrothal signified a great deal more than merely an engagement. Instead, it was part one of a twopart marriage process that included both the kiddushin (betrothal) and the huppah (marriage ceremony).

Jewish marriages in biblical days customarily were arranged by the families of the bride and groom, and often times the families did not consult the potential bride and groom. While this form of matrimonial matchmaking may seem strange to those from a Western culture, there actually is at minimum a double rationale for the parental selection of marriage partners. First, this type of arranged marriage focuses the attention upon the whole family unit rather than upon the bride and groom alone. Second, it establishes love as a commitment of the will more than any emotional or physical aspects that accompany love. One scholar articulates this double rationale of love in marriage: “I love you

skitguys.com

because you are my wife (commitment love); you are my wife because I love you (emotional and physical love).”

The betrothal actually began when a contract was made and sealed by payment of what was known as the mohar. The mohar was the “bride price” the groom or the family of the groom paid to the bride’s father. Biblical scholar John MacArthur writes, The mohar served to compensate the father for wedding expenses and to provide a type of insurance for the bride in the event the groom became dissatisfied and divorced her. The contract was considered binding as soon as it was made, and the man and woman were considered legally married, even though the marriage ceremony (huppah) and consummation often did not occur until as much as a year later.

According to Jewish custom, Joseph or his family would have paid Mary’s father a mohar, a bride price, which would have helped with the upcoming marriage ceremony expenses in the future while immediately beginning their marriage as husband and wife the moment the agreement was made. This period of betrothal was viewed in that day as a time of testing for fidelity and prohibition of any normal sexual activity reserved for when the huppah would arrive, bringing with it a family wedding ceremony followed by the consummation of the marriage.

Mary became pregnant during the betrothal period, which was a cultural no-no, because it would bring immense shame on her and Joseph as well as both of their families. However, Mary’s pregnancy was not in violation of her betrothal fidelity, which we know because of her question to the angel of the Lord: “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” (Luke 1:34).

The fact that the Bible states this pregnancy’s origin was not from man but from the Holy Spirit is a response to rumors that swirled in that day and throughout Jesus’ life (cf. John 8:41). Both Luke and Matthew state that Mary’s pregnancy was from divine origins

skitguys.com

rather than her misbehavior with a man before her wedding night. In fact, what an incredible theological truth is gleaned not only from Mary’s question above but also from the angel’s summary response: “For nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

The theological truth is that Mary by herself couldn’t produce a son—but God could give her one whose name, Jesus, means “God saves.” In essence, this is the gospel: humans cannot produce their own salvation, but God can and has chosen to accomplish it for all of humanity. However, at this point in the story, Joseph was not yet into gleaning theological truth. He was still processing the news of this pregnancy that had occurred while he had stayed true to his betrothal boundaries.

The best novels and the best movies all have stories that are moved forward by the decisions of their characters. Every decision could stop the story, but instead it moves it forward. There’s a great scene in Ocean’s 11 where all the players have gathered, and Danny Ocean lets them know in no uncertain terms that this is the decision point: are you in or not? There’s no turning back. Mary knew this when she said, “Let it be as you have said.” Joseph knew this when he woke up from his dream. The shepherds knew this when they said, “Let’s go.”

Matthew lets us know in verses 19 and 20 that after Joseph found out about Mary’s pregnancy, and after he had time to process it, he “resolved” and considered his options. Obviously, Joseph knew the child in Mary’s womb was not his. Matthew states this in verse 18:

When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 1:18, emphasis mine).

skitguys.com

The phrase “before they came together” is a way to express they had not yet had sexual relations. Matthew later shares a different phrase that indicates Joseph and Mary waited to consummate their marriage until some time after Jesus was born:

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus (Matthew 1:24-25, emphasis mine).

This phrase is another way of saying that Joseph and Mary refrained from any sexual relations until after Jesus was born. Some have gone on inaccurately to suggest that Mary and Joseph never engaged in marital relations, but this is not true based on the fact that the Bible references Jesus’ siblings. However, that part of Joseph and Mary’s family would come later. At this point in the relationship, when the betrothal was still underway, finding out Mary was pregnant could only mean one thing: adultery. Even though Mary must have told Joseph her story about the angel and the immaculate conception, Joseph probably thought Mary was crazy or lying to him. Regardless, she was with child, and it was not his.

At this point in Joseph’s understanding, the only logical conclusion to this pregnancy was that Mary had been unfaithful during the betrothal period. According to Jewish law, he not only had the right to divorce her with public shame, but he would also be permitted to stone her to death if he wished (cf. Deuteronomy 22:23-27; 24:1-4). However, Matthew 1:19 describes what kind of man Joseph was. It also gives us a clue at just how much Joseph really loved Mary. We can see this because of the kindness of the plan he had “resolved” and considered implementing in the near future:

And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly (Matthew 1:19).

skitguys.com

When it speaks of Joseph being a “just” man, the word in the Greek is dikaios. It means Joseph wanted to treat his wife Mary with compassionate justice. He wanted to do the right thing in the right way so as not to bring her or her family any unnecessary shame. According to some biblical scholars, private divorce was a provision of Jewish law. Joseph was heartbroken, yet he wasn’t out for vengeance.

The language of the Bible speaks of sexual relations in marriage between a man and a woman as the man covering the woman’s nakedness where there is no shame, whereas those caught in adultery are regarded as having their nakedness uncovered, thus exposing their shame. Joseph didn’t want to shame Mary. He just wanted to try and move on with the least amount of shame for all involved. But God had different plans. God was both aware and blessed by Mary and Joseph’s sexual purity. Nothing had changed in God’s eyes about the standard of purity and significance that God placed—and continues to place—on sexual purity. And just as Mary had received a visit from the angel of the Lord, so, too, did Joseph receive a visit from the angel of the Lord as Joseph dreamed. What the angel announced to Joseph would make all the difference while affirming whose child was being formed inside Mary’s womb. Yes, both of their purity was still intact:

“Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:20-21).

It’s interesting that the angel of the Lord told both Mary and Joseph on separate occasions not to be afraid. The angel of the Lord gave the same command to Zechariah in the temple as well as to the shepherds who were out in the fields watching over their flocks by night. All four times the angel of the Lord met and spoke to these four different groups, the same command of not being afraid was part of the message. Imagine how different things might have been had even one of these four groups chosen to let their emotions lead their actions rather than choosing to heed and obey the command not to be afraid.

skitguys.com

We’ve talked about the angels before. These aren’t little naked babies with wings and harps flitting about the sky. Cherubim and Seraphim were like something out of Game of Thrones . . . with flaming swords. Mary, Joseph, the Shepherds, the wise men . . . all had reason to be afraid, yet somehow they weren’t. Remember when your dad was the biggest, strongest man in the world? You could use him like playground bars. He was a giant who towered over you. He could be scary, too, right? But when you were afraid, there was nothing safer. I imagine the angel’s voice being like that of a dad during a thunderstorm taking a two-year-old into his arms: “It’s okay. Everything is all right. Don’t be afraid.”

If Zechariah hadn’t obeyed and instead chose to let fear be his guide, perhaps the destiny of his son, John, would have been different.

If the shepherds had not obeyed and instead chose to let fear be their guide, they would not have fulfilled their mission of being the first evangelists who shared the good news of great joy that was for all the people.

If Joseph had not obeyed and instead chose to let fear be his guide, perhaps he would not have taken Mary as his wife and instead would have quietly divorced her, thus leaving her alone in shame rather than taking her as his bride who would give birth in the city of David in the coming months.

If Mary had not obeyed and instead had chosen to let fear be her guide, perhaps she would have stayed with her cousin Elizabeth and given birth near to her nephew John in his home, not in Bethlehem as the prophecy of Micah 5:2 foretold.

skitguys.com

The immediate obedience of these characters in the Christmas story all led to the fulfillment of God’s sovereign and timely plan for salvation. In fact, Matthew goes on in verse 23 to share how part of the prophecy was fulfilled in the birth of Jesus:

Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel (which means, God with us) (Matthew 1:23).

This is a fulfillment of the prophecy from Isaiah:

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14).

Matthew reminds us the meaning of the name of Immanuel: our God who is with us. He is Jesus, the God who saves us, and he is with us all the days of our lives. He is with us in every valley of the shadow of death as well as on the mountaintop of life. The last words Jesus eventually would say to his disciples before ascending into heaven would be a reminder and echo of his name, Immanuel:

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Because Jesus is with us today by his empowering Holy Spirit, we as his followers can continue making sure everyone else has a chance to hear the good news of his first advent while preparing for his second advent. As we await that day, his name, Immanuel, gives us all we need to fulfill the words from Matthew 28:18-20:

skitguys.com

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).

It’s repeated again and again: “Don’t be afraid.” “God is with us.” “Fear not.” “I am with you always.”

Jesus is with us. As far away as the moon and closer than our skin.

God is with us.

Immanuel.

It isn’t about resolving or considering . . . it’s about the heart. It’s about moving forward. It’s about living life unafraid. We all have that ability. We all have a chance to share that with a world that’s afraid.

We’re not afraid. Let it be as God has said.

skitguys.com