Of Pride and Prejudice Pride Sunday 2011

1 Of Pride and Prejudice Pride Sunday 2011 From the very first day I set foot in the foyer of First UU I began to think about how and when I would pre...
2 downloads 0 Views 48KB Size
1 Of Pride and Prejudice Pride Sunday 2011 From the very first day I set foot in the foyer of First UU I began to think about how and when I would preach this sermon. Knowing the complexity of the traumas that this congregation had been through and all of the factors that culminated in the discontent and divisiveness that ensued, I felt it best to remain quiet about my own life, and how it had evolved through the years. I wanted you to get to know you and you to know me as your minister and as a person, who was ready and willing to do what I could to help this congregation move forward; not push my own agenda or dwell in past events that have had a long term residual effect on the health of this community, which has continued far too long. In the coming critical year to truly begin anew, to rebuild the importance and significance of our faith and our visible impact on the larger community, we all need to be honest about the things that are most important to us and subsequently where we are headed both spiritually and socially. That honesty begins with me and it is time to preach that sermon I have struggled with for so long. I found it easier to remain silent than to dredge us old wounds or to face judgment. Growing up in the 50’s, as far back as I can remember I knew I was different from all my friends. I played with the wrong toys, wore the wrong clothes and was interested in hobbies, activities and potential professions that were not at all readily available to women or befitting of a young lady of my generation. In my teens I heard the derogatory words “fags” “sissy’s” “queer” and “homo” in school and it was then I realized that I was unacceptably “gay” a “lesbian” who had to do anything I could to mask the very traits I was born

2 with if I were to survive with any semblance of self respect or acceptance of my peers. In those years the cruelty and scrutiny of the in-crowd was extremely painful to hear and appalling to watch, as they verbally attacked those few who were less able to hide their sexual orientation. I fantasized what it would be like to be “normal;” to share with others my first kiss, the dating experience, the hurts and joys that everyone else seemed to be experiencing as they grew into adulthood. So I played the game, dating men, playacting the emotions that others had experienced and worked very hard at denying my feelings and my very nature. I just wanted to be included and accepted. I saw the love and devotion my parents shared. I was what I wanted as well, but my feeling betrayed my dreams. I talked to no one about my awful “affliction” preferring to suffer in silence than to try and verbalize what I was experiencing thinking that some day maybe someone could “fix” me, and I would be like everyone else. I hid my interest in athletics and carpentry and wanted more than anything to take auto mechanics in school which was absolutely out of the question. Instead Home Economics, sewing and cooking, to prepare for being a dutiful wife, was required of all girls. The first project was a poodle skirt made of felt with a smirking poodle stitched to the front. To me the pattern was unreadable so I lay down on the floor and drew around myself, enlarged it by 6 inches, glued the whole thing together, slapped on the poodle and failed Home Ec! I will not belabor all that I went through to accept myself, the way I am, the loves gained and lost and the trials that every gay, lesbian bisexual or transgender of my generation coped with in the course of growing up, often very much alone with few or non existent role models in which to feel accepted or to share ones feelings, confusion and pain. In the transition from the 1950’s to the 60’s CBS television created a series of documentaries called “Boys Beware” ( 1961) on the evils and dangers that homosexuals pose to every community.

3 The first clip showed examples of children who were exhibiting such “symptoms” and focused on an elementary school classroom as the children prepared to go out for recess. In one scene, the camera zeroed in on one child, a first grader who patted his hair down and adjusted his collar and I quote the commentator, “ these movements are not characteristic of a real boy.” It panned to a detective talking at a school assembly, warning all children that if anyone of you becomes a homosexual you will be caught and the rest of your life will be a living hell.” It finished with a warning to ‘be on your guard, as homosexuals are mentally ill, sick and dangerous and one never knows when there a homo is close by.’ The second episode was a close look at the mental hospital in Tuscadero, California, where homosexuals were institutionalized and sent for “deprogramming” which included electro shock, psychotropic medications that caused permanent damage and in serious cases, those who would not buckle under treatment, castration. Of course the religious community got on board as well, finding biblical quotes to back up public opinion that homosexuality was not only a serious threat to the general population, teaching that unsuspecting child or adult could not only be converted to homosexuality, but would also die in hell as committing one of the most grievous of sins. These were the frightening messages that those of us who were struggling with our sexual identity were hearing and responded to by covering up any semblance of abnormality or mental deviance with a tremendous but insincere effort not to do or say anything that would give us away. The horror stories did not end with the sixties or seventies, and although much progress has been made, I do know first hand how difficult it can be even today for any teenager growing up in a society that still views the GLBT teen as an anomaly, unnatural and mentally defective; where the equal right to marry is still denied in all but six states by religious dictates and moral judgment. Even once it is finally passed in our own senate and

4 signed into law by the governor, there is a very long road ahead. One that we, should we choose to do so, could help pave. Being a teenager today is difficult enough, and even when the laws are changed, it will be a while and a struggle, before it is fully acceptable for a same sex couple to even hold hands in public without criticism or disapproving stares; not to mention open dating, being allowed to attend a dance or a senior prom with out conflict from parents, religious organizations and school authorities. Today these kids still do not have the experiences of courtship; of the ups and downs of maturing in their love relationships with the full understanding and support of parents, schools and even their heterosexual friends. There is still too much isolation for these kids, many who still feel very much alone and sadly countless numbers have ended their own lives in fear, unable to accept the obstacles of growing up gay. I know that as Unitarian Universalists, we claim our own same sex couples fit right in. We may think there is no issue for us, we welcome everyone, and as part of an association of UU churches have ordained GLBT ministers and have performed civil unions for couples for over 25 years. However, I wonder how far we have come when your own minister, to this day cannot not be legally married in her own sanctuary. I also know we have a lot more work to do when I still hear the comment “ I’m afraid we might be called a gay church,” which tells me that in actuality our welcome is limited. As we proceed into the coming year as a religious community, no matter how we perceive our connections to God, the Universe and one another, our faith tradition has a serious responsibility to present our truth; that our definition for God’s work and God’s will can and will rise above the literal biblical statements that have made life so difficult for the GLBT community. Our faith requires us to provide not only a safe place of worship, but a philosophy that openly accepts and supports- especially the youth- as they struggle with their sexuality and the way religion in general has treated

5 them. Our silent fears have kept us from providing that oasis, in truth we do have a purpose should we believe that our first principle has any visible meaning. I have shared with you my truth, one that has taken many uncomfortable and difficult years to face. I do so now because I cherish this congregation. I became a UU minister because as I found my own way, I discovered so may others living in isolation, fearing not only the judgment of family and friends, but the iron hand of religious condemnation. This was one place in the protection of the UU faith that the GLBT son or daughter, child or teen, could find a supportive, living definition of God’s love that did not curse or demean, or chastise or doom anyone to the ravages of hell. We as a congregation can choose to show that we care much more about depth of character than we do about a human interpretation of God’s sins. I hope in the year to come, that we can indeed practice our faith as did our forefathers and mothers, who saw injustice and were willing to risk what it took to make things right. It is our day and age now, to rise to the challenge or to recess back into the safety of our pews. We have the tools, the faith and I know the support to make a difference then truly Standing on the Side of Love, could change the course of someone’s life. Just as it did my own. If that is what we work toward and act upon, then we will have no need to define our faith, it will speak for itself. I would like to conclude with these words by Rev Thom Belote: “Let us ask ourselves from whence we derive the motivation, the courage, the commitment to stand on the side of love rather than standing on the sidelines of love. Can we stand on the side of love rather than taking a position of a detached observer on the side of love? Can we stand on the side of love rather than having a discussion group on the side of love? I am convinced that our religious tradition is growing up and that we are becoming less stuck on trying to tell the world who we are. Instead, we will show the world what we do as a people of faith and as a people of love.” Thank you. Amen

Suggest Documents