Let It Go! Forgiving Self and Others. To Cheer and to Bless Rise to the Divinity within you

Let It Go! Forgiving Self and Others “To Cheer and to Bless” “Rise to the Divinity within you” One of the great principals of the Gospel of Jesus Ch...
Author: Hollie Arnold
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Let It Go! Forgiving Self and Others

“To Cheer and to Bless” “Rise to the Divinity within you”

One of the great principals of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the ability to forgive. As part of the experiences, trials and adversities we must experience while here on the earth include facing pain, sorrow and anger for our actions that we brought upon ourselves or by actions of another. May God help us to be a little kinder, showing forth greater forbearance, to be more forgiving, more willing to walk the second mile, to reach down and lift up those who may have sinned but have brought forth the fruits of repentance, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more. (President Gordon B. Hinckley) There are so many in our day who are unwilling to forgive and forget. Go to the Lord, ask for forgiveness to heal, forgive yourself or another, and Let It Go! Forgive, do it for yourself, give it to the Lord, find faith in the atonement, and Let It Go! To forgive is not easy. It might take all your strength everyday. It will requires constant practice on a daily basis. There is healing in forgiving, and a peace that will comfort you through the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Is there a moment or decision you regret, that you want to take back and start again? We are required to forgive. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:9–10). Even in the face of such daily joys, some of us suffer chronic sorrow or anger toward others who have hurt us. Joy requires forgiveness. Has your life been changed by pain of an event, loss or action of your own or another? Is there a moment or a decision that you regret, that you want to take back and start again? Go to the Lord, forgive yourself, and Let It Go. Has someone hurt you? Take it to the Lord, find help to heal, forgive and Let It Go. Forgiving is not forgetting. The memory of the pain will always linger. It is because you remember that you must forgive, in order to allow joy into your life. Forgiving is not excusing or tolerating wrong or sin or living with hurtful behavior. Hold the person appropriately accountable, take appropriate action - then forgive. Do it for yourself. Give it to the Lord, find faith in the Atonement, and Let It Go. To forgive is not easy. It extracts all the strength you have. It requires practice over and over. But there is healing comfort in forgiving, and it frees the soul to welcome joy. If you are free of serious sin yourself, don’t suffer needlessly the consequences of another’s sins. As a wife, husband, parent, or loved one, you can feel compassion for one who is in the gall of bitterness from sin. Yet you should not take upon yourself a feeling of responsibility for those acts. When you have done what is reasonable to help one you love, lay the burden at the feet of the Savior. He has invited you to do that so that you can be free from pointless worry and depression. As you so act, not only will you find peace but will demonstrate your faith in the power of the Savior to lift the burden of sin from a loved one through his repentance and obedience.

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

Scriptures: As used in the scriptures, to forgive generally means one of two things: When God forgives men, he cancels or sets aside a required punishment for sin. Through the atonement of Christ, forgiveness of sins is available to all who repent. As people forgive each other, they treat one another with Christlike love and have no bad feelings toward those who have offended them “God’s forgiveness is often nullified because the sinner does not forgive himself. What good does it do for God to blot our evil from his mind, if we continue to let it dominate our thinking by rerunning it in our own?” (Sterling W. Sill, What Doth It Profit, p. 179). Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:38-44) Even of those who were so wicked they crucified their Savior, he said: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34.) Peter asked the Lord how often he should forgive a person who sinned against him, “Till seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.” (Matt. 18:21–22.) People can and do change, and our duty is to forgive them. Many people bring troubles and difficulties upon themselves by an unforgiving attitude. Hence, in a modern revelation Jesus Christ revealed this great truth: “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.” (D&C 64:9.) I take that to mean that it is a greater sin to refuse to forgive a person than it is to commit the sin for which that person was disfellowshipped or excommunicated. The Lord went on to say, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” (D&C 64:10.) We must be willing to forgive others and even to forgive ourselves. As we struggle toward that perfection which Jesus Christ holds out for us, let us give emphasis to forgiveness. Let us cultivate that aspect of our character and rejoice in the spirit of forgiveness, which is the comforting message of the Atonement.

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

The steps of repentance have been clearly defined in the scriptures: 1. Recognize we have done wrong. 2. Covenant with the Lord that we will never repeat the sin we have committed and are repenting of. “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” (D&C 58:43.) 3. Recommit ourselves to living a better life in all phases of the gospel. 4. Make restitution for the wrongs we have committed by: a. Repenting in prayer to the Lord. b. Confessing to our bishop, an ordained common judge in Israel and the presiding high priest in our ward. c. Apologizing to those we have offended. 5. The depth of our repentance must be as deep as the sin we have committed. There is no easy way. It hurts, but it also cleanses. 6. Time is the next element of repentance and restitution: a. Time to prove to ourselves, to our Lord, to our fellowmen that we have committed ourselves to a new way of life. b. Time to study the scriptures and dedicate our lives to the commandments we learn we must live to be happy and have joy. 7. Complete forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness without any feelings of retribution toward those who have offended us. 8. Finally, the greatest of all blessings: the forgiveness of the Lord. We no longer look back with depression and hurt, but forward to the future with hope and joy and love for God, self, and all mankind. “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” (D&C 58:42.) “But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.”

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

Sexual Abuse Be assured that you are not to blame for the harmful behavior of others. You do not need to feel guilt. If you have been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether you have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a family member, you are not guilty of sexual sin. Know that you are innocent and that your Heavenly Father loves you. Pray for the peace that comes only through Jesus Christ and His Atonement (see John 14:27; John 16:33). The Savior has experienced all your pains and afflictions, even those caused by others, and He knows how to help you (see Alma 7:11–12). Rather than seek revenge, focus on matters you can control, such as your own outlook on life. Pray for the strength to forgive those who have hurt you. In justice, the Lord has provided a way for you to experience a lifetime of counseling. Complete healing will come through your faith in Jesus Christ and His power and capacity, through His Atonement, to heal the scars of that which is unjust and undeserved. You may find that hard to believe with your current feelings. I have witnessed how the Savior has healed aggravated cases of abuse in that way. Ponder the power of the Atonement. Pray to understand how it can heal you. Seek the aid of your bishop so that the Lord can free you of a burden you did not originate.

Offended by Another You may be carrying a heavy burden of feeling injured by another who has seriously offended you. Your response to that offense may have distorted your understanding so that you feel justified in waiting for that individual to ask forgiveness so that the pain can leave. The Savior dispelled any such thought when He commanded: “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” Don’t carry the burden of offense any longer. Genuinely ask forgiveness of one that has offended you, even when you consider you have done no wrong. That effort will assuredly bring you peace and will likely begin the healing of serious misunderstandings.

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

Addiction The best course is to completely avoid the substances that the Lord prohibits in the Word of Wisdom. But if you have become addicted to any of these substances, you can become free from your addiction. You can overcome addiction through personal effort, the enabling power of the Lord’s grace, help from family members and friends, and guidance from Church leaders. Pray for help, and do all in your power to resist temptations that come because of addiction. Your Heavenly Father wants you to receive the blessings that come from keeping the Word of Wisdom, and He will strengthen you in your sincere efforts to do so.

Pornography I always wanted my husband to ask for my forgiveness, but he didn’t for a long time—he felt too overwhelmed by his battle. When he finally did, my heart overflowed to bursting. Still, it took time and work for me to forgive. Past hurts resurfaced again and again in my mind. My husband’s love, now stronger than ever, helped, but forgiving him has ultimately been my labor. I have had to pray for the Lord’s help with this, and I have been blessed.

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

Have you ever studied the words to Hymn l29 - "Where can I Turn for Peace"? I've never thought of this hymn in terms of the peace that can come when we need to forgive others. I've thought of it more in terms of some of the personal struggles I've had in life - hurts, but never made the connection with forgiveness. Let these words sooth your soul as you think of them in these terms. "Where Can I turn for peace, Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole. When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul Where, when my aching grows, Where when I languish, Where, in my need to know, where can I run? Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand He, only One. He answers privately, Reaches my reaching, In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind Love without end." (LDS Hymns, #129 - Where Can I Turn for Peace)

Forgiving others who hurt us or those we love is sometimes very difficult. We don't see the entire picture the way that the Savior does. We are often taught the importance of the Atonement in our lives, but do we ever concentrate on the atonement in the lives of others. Do we help or hinder their progress when we will not forgive their mistakes. We have to be willing apply the Atonement both ways for our mistakes and also the mistakes of others. I think Faith plays a big part in being able to forgive. Trusting our Heavenly Father to be both just and merciful. think about the grudges we may hold against others or brought up past mistakes or when others bring up mine. How often do we stir others up to our cause. We sometimes become lost in the moment and do not see the big picture. To gain forgiveness, which we all need, we must be willing to forgive others. Love them in spite of what they might do to us... try and find peace by going to the Lord for help. And listen for his answer for he 'answers privately'. Christ taught the ultimate lesson in forgiveness as he hung from the cross and cried, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do" Could anyone have shown greater love and compassion? Christ showed us a better way, a healthier way to deal with the injustices that may come our way. We can grow from these experiences if we will put our faith and trust in the Lord.

Copyright © 2006 Brigham Young University, Women's Conference. All Rights Reserved.

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