How to help your child achieve a positive attitude towards school and learning

Howtohelpyourchildachieveapositive attitudetowardsschoolandlearning TooSchoolForCool Howtohelpyourchildachieveapositive a...
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Howtohelpyourchildachieveapositive attitudetowardsschoolandlearning

TooSchoolForCool Howtohelpyourchildachieveapositive attitudetowardsschoolandlearning Copyright Information You may distribute this report freely and/or bundle it as a free bonus with other products, as long as it is left completely intact, unaltered and delivered via this PDF file. You may also republish excerpts as long as they are accompanied by an attribution link back to http://www.thestudygurus.com Copyright © 2011 The Study Gurus. Some rights reserved.

Published by: Chris Whittington and Clare McIlwraith http://www.thestudygurus.com

Disclaimer and/or Legal Information The information contained in this eBook has been written to help you understand how you can try to improve your child’s attitude towards school and studying. The information is based on our personal experiences as students who have succeeded academically. It is not guaranteed to change your child’s attitude towards school, as this depends on an infinite number of variables which are beyond our control. We do however sincerely hope that our advice does improve your child’s attitude towards and ability at school.

TableofContents Foreword …………………………………………..…………………… 4 Studying is a Skill …………………………….……………………… 5 Why Should Your Child Care? …………………………………. 6 Be Prepared for Battle ………………………………………….. 12 How to Get Your Child to Enjoy Learning .…………….. 17 Help Your Child Find Their Magic Study Formula ..… 22 Get Their Time Management Sorted .……………………. 25 How to Use Incentives (the Right Way) ………………… 28 Set a Few Goals While You’re At It ……………………….. 33 And Finally …………………………………………………………… 35 Want More? .………………………………………………………… 37

Foreword

You know that your child could achieve whatever they want if they put their mind to it – but they haven’t had this realization yet.

This eBook has been written for parents who are frustrated with their child’s attitude towards school.

Does this sound like your child? If your answer is yes, then this eBook is here

We want to help you help change your child’s

to give some practical pointers you can use

perception of school and what it means to

to help shift your child’s mindset from

them. We want to help you turn your child

“school sucks” to “I’ve run out of books to

into a bookworm.

read”.

Or as close to one as possible…

We want your child to see the value in school so they too can reach their academic

We’re sick of seeing so many talented and

potential.

bright kids flush their futures down the drain because they think school “sucks” or that they’re “dumb”. This is complete rubbish.

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No one needs to miss out.

StudyingisaSkill

We realized that time and time again, the students who did really well at school always had two things in common:

Just like playing a sport or learning an instrument, studying is a learnt skill. It can be

1) they knew what they wanted to get out of school, and

practiced and mastered by anyone. 2) they applied a specific formula every Even if your child thinks that school “sucks”,

time they sat down to study that

we (you and us) can help them learn to enjoy

guaranteed great results.

learning by giving them the tools they need to be able to study effectively.

In this eBook we’re going to explain how you can instill these two characteristics of

Over the years we’ve seen far too many students do poorly at school, or even worse, fail, simply because they didn’t know how to study.

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successful students in your child.

WhyShouldYour ChildCare?

Let’s look at it from your child’s point of view. Up until now, school has just been this thing they’ve always had to do. They don’t know anything else. But the days of coloring in and

Are your child’s interest levels in school

fun and games at elementary school are long

ranking pretty low right now? Would they

gone, and right now they don’t see the point

rather have a tooth pulled than go to class?

in school.

Have you tried everything? Nagged and nagged until you’ve been hoarse?

They don’t have enough of a reason to put in the effort. And unfortunately no amount of force or

Well maybe all is not lost…

nagging on your part will change this.

“Why do I need to know how to find χ for crying out loud?!”

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To put it in perspective, how often do you

It might seem obvious to you and me why

carry out tasks you see no point in?

they need to well at school, but when you’re 16 and haven’t yet figured out what you want

Never. And why would you? The same applies to your child’s attitude towards school.

out of life, it can be horribly unclear. In order for your child to want to go to school, to complete assignments well, and

Motivated kids know why it’s important to

study hard for their exams, they need

them that they do well. They can tell you

reasons to do so.

what they want to get out of school and what direction they see themselves going after school. When you ask an unmotivated kid why school is important to them, they’ll simply shrug and say “I dunno”.

And they need to be good reasons. Reasons that mean something to them personally. In their eyes being nagged relentlessly is not a good enough reason. The good news is there are many different reasons your child can adopt as theirs for doing well at school.

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1. Thecareercarrot

2. Notwantingtocloseany doors

I’m (Chris) currently tutoring a boy in his first year of high school who knows he wants to

If your child is like we were, they have no idea

be a pilot. Even if this goal changes over the

what they want to do when they leave school

next few years, it doesn’t matter. What does

just yet. Whilst this can be stressful for some

matter is that he has a personal reason to

students, it really doesn’t need to become a

want to do well at school today.

problem. In fact this is the position that the vast majority of students are in.

There is incentive and purpose for him to go to school every day.

If your child fits into this category they just need a reason other than a career carrot to

But what about the majority of high school

inspire them to try hard at school.

students who don’t know what they want to do when they leave school? What can be

We didn’t know exactly what we wanted to

their incentive for doing well?

‘be’ when we were at high school, but we sure as heck knew we didn’t want to keep

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working as a waitress and truck-loader for the

When the time comes for your child to make

rest of our lives!

a career choice you want them to be able to take their pick and not be limited in any way.

(Side note: A great benefit of a part-time high school job is exposure to what life would be like in a mind-numbing job. Very off-putting!) Our incentive for doing well at school was simply that we didn’t want to close any doors before we figured out what we wanted to do. And thanks to our parents, we knew that doing well at school was the best thing we could do to keep our options open. So when we did figure it out, the world was still our oyster.

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3. Thingschange Many people across all generations have ended up pursuing different careers to the ones they initially embarked on. Maybe you’re one of them? When you think about it, it makes sense why this happens so often. People change. Our ideas and beliefs change as we get older.

What you wanted when you were 18 is very

first place. And had I not done my science

different to what you want when you’re 40.

degree, I wouldn’t be able to get into postgraduate law school. And I know for a

I (Clare) understand this concept very well…

fact that what I’ve learned about business will

My area of tertiary study has now changed

help me greatly no matter what I’m doing. It’s

three times. I’ve gone from science, to

helped me hugely already!

business, to law. It took me five years out of school to figure out what I really wanted to sink my teeth into.

Your child might be thinking that they don’t need good grades because they don’t want to go to college, but what if they change their

Why is this relevant?

mind and it’s too late?

I was only able to change direction

What if they decide that in fact, going to

because I had decent grades behind me.

college sounds great, but they can’t get in because they didn’t do well at school? What

Had I mucked around at school I wouldn’t have gotten into college to do science in the

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if they missed out by just a few grade points?

This is a position we want no child to be in. You want your child to be able to pursue whatever it is they want at any time. They’ll thank you later when they’re flushed with options because they put in the work at high school. As you can see, it doesn’t matter what position your child is currently in - it doesn’t matter whether they know what they want to do when they leave school or not - trying their best at school is the best thing they can do to set themselves up for the future.

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BePreparedFor Battle

1.Idon’tknowwhatIwantto dowhenIleaveschool. As we’ve already discussed, it doesn’t matter that your child doesn’t know what they want

Changing your child’s attitude towards school isn’t going to be effortless. They might attempt to throw a few spanners in the works.

to do yet. We didn’t! They just need to appreciate that school is a necessary step for success in whatever they

So to help you stay in the commander’s seat,

end up pursuing. I bet they don’t want to

here are some objections they might throw at

work at Walmart for the rest of their lives do

you, and how you can turn them around.

they? Because for some people, that’s their reality



as a result of not having worked at high school. For many, a bad start at high school means a bad start to life post-school.

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Whereas if your child puts in the effort at school now, they’ll find that they have choice

2.Idon’twanttogotoCollege.

and flexibility with their career options.



In fact, not knowing what they want to do actually gives your child more of a reason to

This objection doesn’t need to fuel an argument between you and your child.

try hard at school, because they need to keep

Because, it doesn’t matter what they think

their options open as wide as possible. What

they want to do when they leave school.

if they end up deciding they want to get into

Whether they want to get into a trade, a

a really competitive programme at College

tertiary course, go straight into the workforce,

and need really good grades to do so? Can

or join the armed forces, they’ll need to be

you imagine how relieved they’ll be that they

able to show the person in charge that

got good grades at high school?

they’re not an idiot.

Don’t let your child limit themselves before

No one wants to take on a dummy.

they’re even 18 when they could be setting themselves up for an amazing career ahead.

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Make sure your child secures their position

This is important to understand, because

by having the grades to back them.

before your child believes they can do well at school, you need to believe it. And on that note of belief, this objection is



slightly more complicated than the first two.

3.I’mnotgoodatschool.

If your child has said that they “aren’t good at school” it could be the sign of an underlying

This objection is a load of baloney. As we

self-esteem issue.

mentioned earlier, studying is a learnt skill. Anyone can learn how to study effectively.

Please don’t think we’re saying your child is

[We’re going to talk about what you can do

troubled or anything like that. We’re just



to help your child learn how to study soon.] We firmly believe that even if your child is

failing right now, there’s no reason why they can’t turn this around in just a few months.

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highlighting this because it’s a frightfully common belief amongst young people. And we want this to change.

We don’t want your child to think for a

The students who adopt this attitude of

second that they’re not capable of doing well

course fail anyway, because they’re not

at school, because it’s simply not true.

trying, they’re bowing out. A student who busts their guts but can’t push past a B is a

Of all the hundreds of students we come across, the vast majority who don’t perform

million times ahead of the student who doesn’t try at all.

at the level they could, do so because they don’t try.

If you hear your child being selfdeprecating about their ability at school,

It has nothing to do with their intellectual

nip it in the bud as quickly as you can.

capacity. It has everything to do with their attitude.

It’s simply not true.

99% of the time, “I’m not smart enough”

Maybe they just need to be taught a few

is just a cover-up for not wanting to fail.

simple study skills to get the ball rolling? Or maybe they just haven’t figured out how to

The flawed argument being, you can’t fail if you don’t try.

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study in a way that works for them. Because it

is true that traditional schooling doesn’t work for everyone. We’re going to talk about different study techniques soon, but the important thing to remember here is that studying is a skill that anyone can learn. Absolutely anyone.



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HowtoGetYour ChildtoEnjoy Learning

Explainwhytheirsubjects areimportant As we said before, no one does anything that they see no point in. Just like your child needs a reason to do well in school, they also need to understand why their subjects are

Now you’ve got some ammo to help your child realize why school is important to them. But what else can you do to help them find learning genuinely interesting, as opposed to

important. School will be so much more interesting when they understand the real world context behind their subjects.

thinking of school as merely a means to an end?



 Sparkaninterest A great way to spark your child’s interest in a

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subject is by simply talking to them about

For example, it was only 60 odd years ago

what they’re learning.

that your child’s grandfathers or great grandfathers went off to fight in WW2 to

With their math or hard science subjects, see if you can have a chat about the real world relevance of a particular equation. What’s the

protect our freedom! That’s pretty amazing. Maybe you could ask them if they know why they had to leave the country to fight?

point in it? When will they use it outside of school? What does E = mc2 actually mean?

Or maybe they’re reading a book in English class? What’s it about? Are they enjoying it?

Or say you’re talking about biology, maybe you could talk about how incredible it is that

Yes? No? Why not? What would they rather read about?

all living things are made of tiny things called cells?!

Open and topical questions like these that start an interesting conversation will make

With their English, History or Art subjects, you could try and have an interesting conversation about a particular concept or something historical?

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the subject interesting by its own accord and will help remove any negative association

your child has between the subject and school.

Stressthelearning,notthe grade.

You might be thinking now, yeah right, you try and have a conversation like that

I guess the overall point we’re trying to make

with my kid.

here is, that in order for your child to want to do well at school, they need to have an

We didn’t say changing your child’s attitude

appreciation of learning.

towards school was going to be an easy task, only that it can be done. Maybe it’s going to

In the long run, the skill of being able to

take some persistence and a few changes

learn is far more important than an A.

around the household before their attitude towards school improves, but boy will it be worth it.

When your child starts to appreciate learning they’ll find they automatically enjoy school more. They’ll focus on the subject without associating it with school (which “sucks”), and they won’t be totally consumed by grades – good or bad.

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Of course, if your child likes learning, then they’re already on their way to getting good grades anyway! This is because with a positive attitude towards school in place, your child’s attention span will be better, their ability to retain information will be better, and they’ll be far more receptive to taking on board new study techniques.

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Most of what we’ve covered so far has been more about the psychological ideas involved in changing your child’s attitude towards school. Next we’re going to discuss some of the more tangible parts of studying that your child will be able to put to good use with their newly reformed attitude!

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HelpYourChild FindTheirMagic StudyFormula

race. It pretty much guarantees success, or at least leaves as little room for error as possible. Once your child knows what their study formula is, they will know exactly what it is they need to do every time they sit down to study to get the most out of that session.

The goal of every student at high school

We stress the word their, because every

should be to figure out what their own

students’ study formula is different, as we all

study formula is.

learn in our own unique way.

A study formula is the academic equivalent of

Below are a number of questions that you

an athlete knowing exactly what they need to

and your child might like to start thinking

do the morning before a race so that they’re

about to get you started…

as prepared as they can possibly be. They have a magic formula they use before every

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LearningStyles

remember stuff well? Do they like writing long notes, or bullet-pointed short lines? Do

Typically there are four different learning

they like using highlighters? Do they like

styles your child can subscribe to. Visual,

drawing diagrams? Do they like talking

Auditory, Read/Write, and Kinaesthetic. (If

about what they’ve been studying? Do they

you’re not sure what these learning styles are

learn from watching videos? Do they learn

you can find out on our website by clicking

best by actually doing things?

here).

When you child knows what learning style(s)

Figuring out their learning style(s) will help

works best for them, they can incorporate it

your child discern what learning techniques

into their study formula to make every study

help them understand and retain information

session as productive as possible.

most effectively. Questions you and your child could ask when

StudyEnvironment

figuring out their learning style might include: what sorts of techniques help them

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Understanding the environment in which

your child is most productive is extremely

Music or no music? Long periods or short

influential on the success of their study

bursts of study? The list goes on…

sessions, and an important facet of their study formula. So what kind of environment do you think

As you can appreciate, your child won’t

your child works best in? Do they need to

figure out their study formula after one

lock themselves in a room away from all

study session.

distractions? Or do they need to be around people?

It will be a game of trial and error, and should be thought of as a constant work in progress.

Do they study best in the morning or at night? Do they get lots done where they study currently, or would they be better off somewhere else in the house? Would going to the local library help them focus?

But over time your child will start to perfect it if they make a conscious effort to utilize the study techniques that get results. Once your child starts doing this regularly, exciting things will happen.

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GetTheirTime ManagementSorted 

deprive yourself of sleep, and cancel all your

One of the hardest things about studying is

We’re all allowed a little bit of procrastination

time management. If not the hardest thing.

here and there. It’s human nature.

Any student, current or former, is familiar

But good time management is one of the

with the following situation…

things that separate the students bound



You have an assignment to do, but it isn’t due for 3 weeks. Facebook/TV here I come! Then all of a sudden the assignment is due in three days. You’re forced to work like a slave,

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other activities simply to hand in a shoddy assignment that in no way reflects your best work. Sound familiar?

for college, and those who are left behind. We want to make sure your child falls into the former category.

One of the best ways to combat

homework and studying regularly should

procrastination and poor time

become part of your child’s normal routine.

management is to set time aside for study in advance.

It’s essential that good study habits like time management are in place before your child

Your child is much more likely to sit down

goes off to college. Especially if they leave

and study when they know that 4pm-6pm

home, they’ve only got themselves for

every day is study time. As opposed to

motivation and discipline, and this ain’t

leaving it up to them to decide when they

gonna magically happen if they’ve been slack

feel like doing it. This may never happen!

all through high school.

Structure is everything. A top athlete doesn’t think, nah, don’t feel like going to the gym

Makeastudytimetable

today. They don’t even need to think about it. Going to the gym is just part of their daily

You can help your child get their time

schedule. They’re used to it. Just as doing

management sorted as early as possible, by helping them make a study timetable.

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Simply put together a timetable of the

Then you need to stick it somewhere obvious

normal school week, including all your child’s

so you and your child see it daily, such as in

extracurricular activities, then around these

the kitchen or on their bedroom door.

fill in the hours they’re going to put aside for homework and study. If applicable it can be a great idea to specify which hours your child will dedicate to which subjects.

Make it impossible to ignore! Your child should also make a timetable of their study schedule leading up to exams, but they should get their regular school-week timetable sorted first.

The timetable doesn’t need to be anything fancy. A table ruled up on an A4 piece of paper is absolutely fine, although doing it on a computer would probably be easier, and

By the time exams roll around your child will be used to being disciplined and studying even when they don’t feel like it!

enable your child to update it when they

Having good time management skills makes

need to.

everything else to do with study much much easier.

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HowtoUse Incentives(theRight Way)

Here we’re talking about short-term incentives. You may have used incentives like these before to motivate your child. Things like doing chores for a month in exchange for a video game, that kind of thing.

The last thing we want to touch on in this

These types of incentives can be incredibly

eBook is the idea of incentives and how to

effective motivators, and have been

use them properly to motivate your child.

shown to have positive long term effects on academic behavior.

This somewhat relates to what we discussed early on about how your child needs good reasons to want to do well at school. But that discussion looked more at the big picture.

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Rewardtheworkdone–not thegrade

Whereas an incentive that focuses more on consistently doing good work, is far more effective – certainly in the long term – than an incentive that focuses on a particular

There is however, a right way to use these

grade.

types of incentives, and a wrong way. A number of studies about the use of The wrong types of incentives are the ones

incentives were analyzed by academics at

that feel a bit like a bribe...

Harvard University. They have shown substantial evidence that using incentives to

For example, “if you get a B average we’ll get

reward students for their educational inputs

you that bike you’ve been wanting.”

is far more powerful then rewarding

We say bribe because this exchange of a

educational outputs.1

good grade for a prize feels a bit cheap, like you don’t really care how your child gets the B average just as long as they do!

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1

Roland G. Fryer, Jr. Financial Incentives and Student Achievement: Evidence from Randomized Trials. http://www.edlabs.harvard.edu/pdf/studentincentives.pdf

This means you should reward your child

Secondly, the promise of an eventual reward

for the work they do, NOT the grade they

based on something they don’t know how to

eventually get.

control (i.e. the grade they’re going to get) isn’t powerful enough to motivate a student.

Researchers also found that students who received these types of incentives maintained a significant academic improvement a year later! These results boil down to two vital reasons…

It’s because there’s no urgency. Your child’s brain is thinking, “You said I had to get a B

average in 6 weeks time, not that I had to do any study today”. Whereas when you base the reward on the effort put in, their brain thinks, “So if I sit

First, many students don’t know what it takes

down and study now I’ll get x, no matter what

to get good grades. They don’t actually

happens in the end? Awesome.”

understand what’s required of them to get

See the huge difference?

the grades they need. They don’t know where to start or what to do – so they don’t try.

So for example, an effective incentive could be getting your child to work for their

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allowance. “Until exams are over, you have to

maintain their motivation. Or if your child is

do two hours of study every weekday if you

already quite motivated, you may only need

want to continue getting your allowance.”

to give them an incentive at the end of year to make sure they go for gold.

Now when they come home from school their brain says, “Hey – I better go do some study

Don’tForgettheAim

so I can go to the movies this weekend.” And of course, if your child studies every day for a few hours leading up to exams, they’re going to get amaaaazing marks anyway!

It’s important to realize that incentives aren’t supposed to detract from the ultimate goal of getting your child to actually like school and enjoy learning. They’re just a way to help

So everybody wins.

achieve this goal.

Obviously incentives don’t have to be saved

Your child might just need a bit of an

for exam time. Depending on what your child

incentive to start off with until they get used

is like, you may need to have small, ongoing

to doing homework and studying regularly.

incentives in place throughout the year to

Then they might find that getting the grades

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they deserve because they’ve put in the effort is actually an awesome feeling. This might even spur then on so much that they don’t need incentives! As far as we’re concerned, anything that helps your child make a positive association with school, homework, learning, and studying, is a good thing. So if incentives work well for you and your child, then go for it!

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SetaFewGoals WhileYou’reAtIt

their grades from last year in all of their subjects. You can choose to include specific grades in your child’s goals or not, it’s up to you.

Just because it’s more effective to place emphasis on effort and learning rather than on the end result, this doesn’t mean that you and your child shouldn’t set goals as well.

The reason goals like this are also really important is because they provide an invaluable feeling of reward for your child when they achieve them. That buzz feeling they get when they reach a goal will help

You should actually do this at the same time

strengthen their motivation, their self-esteem,

you figure out what incentives to use.

and their positive association with school, studying, and hard work.

For example, you could decide that as well as there being an incentive for studying every

There’s no feeling like the anticipation of

day, your child also has the goal of improving

exam results when you know you’ve tried your best - then peeling open the envelope

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and being delighted with the marks you’ve

They’ll be absolutely fine if they know you are

achieved!

proud of them regardless, and that the most important thing was that they tried their

What better way to ensure the success of

hardest.

your child’s following year at school or their first year of tertiary study, then by ending the year with a celebration of success! If the unfortunate happens and your child doesn’t quite reach the goals they set for themselves, it’s really ok. Of course they’ll probably be disappointed, but this just means they care, which is definitely a good thing.

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This is ultimately what we’re striving for.

AndFinally…

There are only so many spaces available at the Ivy League Colleges, and we’re not all destined to be ‘academic’. But that’s not the point, and it doesn’t matter.

We want to reiterate (once again, in case you missed it) that studying is a learnt skill that anyone can learn and improve on. It doesn’t matter what your child’s story is, or what grades they’ve been getting up until now, they can be taught how to study effectively and get the grades they deserve. And if they’ve got your help and support behind them already, then they’re off to a very good start indeed.

The point is that we want to help you help your child reach their academic potential - no matter what that may be. Any student who tries their hardest will be greatly rewarded. And not just at school. This attitude will carry them extremely far in professional world as well. In any occupation and in any situation, being someone with a good work ethic who enjoys learning is guaranteed to make a success of themselves.

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It would be impossible not to. So on that note, we ask that you now share these ideas and techniques with your child, listen to what they have to say, and you’ll be on your way to helping them see all the good things that school has to offer them.

Thank you.

Chris Whittington & Clare McIlwraith The Study Gurus

36Too School For Cool How to help your child



achieve a positive attitude towards school and learning

WantMore? Chris and Clare share their years of studying and tutoring advice on their TSG Study Series blog.

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37Too School For Cool How to help your child



achieve a positive attitude towards school and learning