How To Get Rapport Quickly and How to Test It ‘Cheat Sheet’

By Jacquie Nagy, Your ‘Be Yourself Coach’ Confident Living To Be Authentically You! Motivating self-coaching strategies, tools and techniques to live authentically, confidently and autonomously!

© 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~1~

How to Get Rapport Quickly and How to Test It ‘Cheat Sheet’ You know the feeling of being instantly attracted to someone you just met, don’t you? It’s a comfortable feeling like you have known them all your life. The feeling is enigmatic. The attraction feels like a strong magnet is pulling you together. Without knowing why, you are curious and wanting to understand this person on a deeper level.

This natural attraction is powerful as it occurs at the level of the ‘unconscious’. When two people make this initial instant connection and have common intention it is like a ‘perfect storm’ and can quickly develop into a deep and meaningful relationship.

© 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~2~

Conversely, I know you have also met people you feel uncomfortable being around. This unpleasant feeling is immediate and feels like magnets of the same polarity pushing each other apart. When you meet this kind of person you want to move away quickly or avoid them entirely.

Yet - in life and business you sometimes need to communicate with all sorts of people regardless of how you feel about them, right?

So what do you do when the person who repels you is someone you need to get along with?

Here’s the good news! There is a way to rapidly change how you respond

to

someone

you

don’t

immediately

connect

with.

Regardless of having a bad vibe you can learn to connect quickly with just about anyone, anytime, anywhere using these skills to build rapport at the unconscious level. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~3~

“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche Using techniques coded in the 1970’s in the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) rapport is activated at the unconscious level through observing another person’s ‘non-verbals’ such as body posture, breathing patterns and mannerisms – and then matching, mirroring or cross-over matching the person back.

Think of the last time you had an interaction with a pre-verbal baby. You probably changed your voice tone, shrunk your shoulders and got down on your hands and knees. It’s fascinating to watch how people and babies get along without any language, isn’t it?

Learning how to build rapport at the unconscious level will help you get along with anyone, anywhere really quickly. When you learn how to quickly build rapport you will enjoy more harmonious relationships in both your personal and business life. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~4~

As adults we often forget our non-verbal, unconscious systems are available tools to communicate with others. You can apply the techniques I am sharing with you in this report to gain instant rapport, build trust, resolve conflict without the usual ‘sting’ and influence others to appreciate your point of view.

Let’s get started! First, read the 5 Steps on How to Get Rapport Quickly. Then find a person to practice with. Do not let them know what you are doing. Be ecological – meaning have an intention of wanting

to

connect,

make

friends,

improve

relations,

and

communicate more authentically and congruently. If your intention is NOT ecological and you are thinking of using rapport skills to ‘pull the wool over someone’s eyes’ they will unconsciously pick up on your intentions and this can quickly damage your relationship. Oh, and if you are rumbled - stop. Regain your composure, recall your intention and start over. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~5~

5 Steps on How to Get Rapport Quickly:

1. The first thing you want to do is observe the ‘whole person’. Don’t stare. Use ‘peripheral’ vision. Become aware of their entire body. Pay attention to their overall posture, spine alignment, foot placement, hand movements, the way their head is tilted, their breathing pattern, voice tone and words.

2. Begin by matching, mirroring and ‘pacing’ their larger body posture. If they are sitting – you sit; standing – you stand. Next, match the lower part of their body; and not necessarily exactly. For example, if their legs are crossed at the knee, cross the same leg at your ankles. The optimal delay is two to four seconds. Less than two seconds and they will likely notice you; wait too long and there is little or no effect.

© 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~6~

3. Next match the middle part of their body, and their arms and hands in the same way. Be subtle – make small movements and wait two to four seconds otherwise they may detect you. NB. A woman once tried to mirror me and was much too obvious. I noticed immediately. Practice pausing two to four seconds and using ‘micro muscle movements’.

4. Now match or mirror their facial expressions, eye movements, and voice tonality. Pay close attention to the words they repeat and emphasize. When the conversation stops use their words to ask ‘what’ and ‘how’ specifier questions. This will uncover what is important to them.

5. Keep matching and mirroring, pacing and leading subtly until you feel mutual rapport is building. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~7~

And now...How to Test It

Once you feel you have developed a level of rapport similar to being in the company of a good friend, it is time to test and find out. If you do not test, it does not mean you do not have rapport. If you want to be sure – you test.

Start by making a small body movement or bigger overall adjustment of your body. This is called ‘leading’. Notice whether they move their body to match yours. If they do, it is a good sign you have connected with them at an unconscious level and you are on your way to having even deeper rapport.

If they do not move their body to match you, continue pacing and leading, until they follow your movements, match your body posture and possibly your voice tone. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~8~

Once you learn how to build rapport at the unconscious level you will enjoy many positive benefits.

Personally, you will enjoy the feeling of having an even deeper connection with loved ones; you can be more convincing; and you will be more skilled at understanding others leading to deeper empathy, compassion and more meaningful relationships.

You can also use these steps if you ever lose rapport with a friend or colleague. Simply by ‘pacing and leading’ at the unconscious level you can quickly regain rapport and start communicating once again.

In business, you can use NLP rapport building skills when you are networking, meeting new people, with existing clients, and even colleagues. Having rapport builds stronger partnerships with clients and more harmonious teams in the workplace. © 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~9~

This is just the beginning – of your learning to use NLP skills to gain rapport, build trust, have deeper connections and develop an even higher quality of relationships in both your personal and business life. ENJOY!

With love - from me to you ♥

~Jacquie

© 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~ 10 ~

How To Get Rapport Quickly and How to Test It ‘Cheat Sheet’

By Jacquie Nagy, Your ‘Be Yourself Coach’ Confident Living To Be Authentically You! Motivating self-coaching strategies, tools and techniques to live authentically, confidently and autonomously!

© 2013 Jacquie Nagy │Holisc Direcons Inc. Jacquie Nagy, NLP Trainer, Coach, Speaker www.holisticdirections.com [email protected] +1 204.480.8667 ~ 11 ~