Pretty TGirls Magazine May 2009 Issue

Featuring An Interview With Stephanie Yates

Pretty TGirls Magazine is a production of the Pretty TGirls Group Group and is intended as a free resource for the Transgendered community. Articles and advertisements may be submitted submitted for consideration to the editor, Rachel Williston, at [email protected] . It is our hope that our our magazine will increase the understanding of the TG world and better acceptance of TGirls in our society. To that end, any articles are appreciated and welcomed for review !

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Pretty TGirls Magazine Welcome to the May 2009 issue … Take pride and joy with being a TGirl !

Table of contents: Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls ! Our Miss May 2009 Cover Girl Cover Girl Feature – Stephanie Yates Editor’s Corner – Rachel Williston Ask Amy and Nan – Amy and Nan Garbati Cocktails With Nicole – Nicole Morgin Dear Abby L – Abby Lauren TG Crossword – Rachel Williston In The Company Of Others – Candice O. Minky TGirl Tips – MellissaLynn TG Funnies – MellissaLynn Your Family Doesn’t Know? – Barbara M. Davidson Of Interest To TGirls – Pamela Ann Elliot Then and Now Photo’s Recipes by Mollie – Mollie Bell Fly The Friendly Skies As A TGirl – Alison Young From A Man Into Becoming A Woman – Brianna Austin Transgender Employment Solutions – Michele Angelique Thoughts For TGirls - Eve TG Conferences and Getaways Advertisements and newsy items Our 2009 Calendar!

Magazine courtesy of the Pretty TGirls Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Our Miss May 2009 Cover Girl ! How about joining us? We’re a tasteful, fun group of girls and we love new friends!

Just go to … http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls!

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl Question: When did you first start crossdressing? Stephanie: At about age eight, I guess, I recall being in third grade. The desire to crossdress went back even earlier, but it took a while to work up the nerve to actually do it. I can distinctly remember getting out of my toddler crib during nap time and rummaging around in my older sister’s drawer looking for tights to try on—I had to be no older than three or four then. Oh, that effort was frustrated by hearing someone approaching the bedroom and I knew I’d be in double trouble—not napping as well as disturbing my sister’s things! Anyway, my first experience was trying on some of my sister’s undergarments safely locked in the bathroom and that quickly became a habit.

Question: Describe your early experiences dressing as a girl. Stephanie: My early experiences were largely just putting on lingerie and hose— and being very aroused by it all and, of course, relieving my arousal. Later on, in my teens, I began to dress fully (though not yet with a wig or makeup) if the opportunity presented itself, which was pretty rare (I had three siblings, both parents and a grandparent at home). The sequence was the same, however— dress, admire the image, and proceed to the climactic resolution. And then feel guilty about it as I put everything back as I’d found it. I suppose that’s rather typical, but I certainly felt that there probably weren’t many others out there like me! It was a pretty lonely and a rather sad activity. I mean I enjoyed it, but also felt rather guilty and fearful about the whole thing. Of course, I dared tell no one about my little secret.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued) Question: At what age did you start using makeup and wearing wigs? How did you learn how to apply make up? Any tips for other TGirls? Brand of make up you use? Stephanie: I started experimenting with make-up in my teens, but really didn’t start gaining any serious ability with it until my twenties after I’d moved out on my own. That’s when I bought my first wig as well. My wife showed me some tips (she knew before we married, and married me anyway—more on that elsewhere) and I expanded upon them by looking at other women and trying things out (I only recently started using eyeliner—and found the results very satisfactory). It’s really a matter of experimentation—and there’s plenty of advice out there in magazines or online. I don’t use anything special, just the regular stuff (Cover Girl, Maybelline, Rimmel, etc.) that’s available anywhere. Since I didn’t start with pictures until my 40s—and my beard was already turning white—I didn’t worry much about beard cover. That’s probably the biggest issue for younger TGs and I didn’t really have to deal with it.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

Question: If you had your choice, what do like wearing the most when being a girl? Stephanie: I like the total package, not just any one thing. There was a time when the answer would have been pantyhose, but now I really enjoy making myself look as feminine as possible in every way. Certainly, I do like the smooth texture of feminine undergarments. Also, I envy that women have so many choices and options in appearance and I enjoy exploring that to see what works best on me. There’s nothing quite like that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I get when I look in the mirror (or at a picture of me) and see a feminine version of me looking back. For me it’s about expressing myself in a feminine manner, about creating that feminine image as accurately as possible.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued) As I said, I enjoy exploring the options in dress that women are afforded. Sometimes I like to wear jeans, sometimes a business suit, others a formal gown, still others a more semi-formal dress or a skirt and top. I just find it fascinating to experiment with different looks. Question: Now a bit of personal information ... What is your marital status? A sensitive area for some girls, but ... how old are you now? Does anyone know you are a TGirl? What country do you live in? Stephanie: I’m married and have been for 25 years now. My wife has known since before we married—it’s not always been smooth sailing, but she is tolerant of Stephanie and even supportive in some ways. She taught me the basics of how to apply makeup and she has always bought a Christmas present or two for Stephanie as well. Sometimes she lets me have dibs on the clothing that she is planning on giving away to the Salvation Army or thrift stores.

She’s seen me dressed many times, and really isn’t bothered by it—though she much prefers that I limit myself to staying home while en femme. Well, I guess everyone reading this knows I’m a TGirl. Oh, you mean who knows both sides of me. Well, my wife. And I have a select group of TG friends how know my “secret identity”, but only a couple of them have met both masculine and feminine versions.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued) I live in the US of A in a small town in a rural area of the southeast. It’s pretty conservative (duh!) and I can’t say as I know of another TG within 50 miles of me, though I’m sure there are some. It makes for a pretty isolated feeling sometimes—but thank goodness for the internet which has greatly diminished the frequency and intensity of those feelings! It is a bit frustrating as it—coupled with the schedule of my dressing windows of opportunity—severely curtails possibilities for going out or meeting friends. But I’ve come to accept there are limitations and to try to enjoy what I am able to do rather than become depressed over what I can’t. Oh, the age question. I’m 48 (‘nuff said about that and you can forget it if you please). Question: Do you have a website and/or email you’d like to share with us? Stephanie: I have a 360 page (Stephanie Yates) and a Flickr page (Stephanie Yeats) but both are friends only. I don’t want to spread all of my pictures everywhere. I’m sure the PTG members have all seen my email and have it from one or more of my posts there.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

Question: Have you ever gone out as a girl? If so, tell us what the first time is like and how you feel being out in the world as a girl. Stephanie: Yes, I’ve been out a couple of times (including SCC). Well, in my younger days (in my 20s), I used to sneak out at night, find an isolated spot on a back road (pretty easy where I lived—and still live) get dressed and just drive around alone or sit there in the dark. It was a thrill initially, but that didn’t last long, really. Being alone in the dark in a car, well just didn’t seem to be that fulfilling. And there was the risk of running afoul of the law. So I gave that up.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued) More enjoyable has been the shared experience of going out with friends. I think that’s the most fulfilling experience I’ve had as Stephanie—sharing time with TG friends. And it really doesn’t matter whether it’s in public or in a more private setting as at a restaurant or just chatting in a hotel room or in the relative safety of the lobby or garden of the hotel where SCC was held. I find “being” Stephanie around supportive, accepting and understanding friends is thoroughly enjoyable; it really doesn’t matter where we are. I’d much rather be with friends who know the truth and accept me than pass with strangers who are largely indifferent (or potentially even hostile!). Of course, my opportunities to do so are much more limited than I’d like, but that makes me cherish those golden memories all the more.

Question: Have you ever gone through a purge of your female clothing? If so, can you tell us why? How did it make you feel? How long before you went back to being a girl? Stephanie: No, not really. I thought when I was young—early teenage years, I guess—that I could make myself stop. I didn’t have anything to purge then, however, I was still just sneaking my sister’s things. Of course, my thinking that I could stop was only partially true. I CAN control whether I dress or not, but I can’t make the desire to dress go away. And I enjoy expressing my feminine side at every opportunity—although those aren’t nearly as frequent as I’d like them to be.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

Question: What percentage of time do you spend as a girl? Stephanie: Very little actually. I only get occasional opportunities to dress and then for a few hours at a time. Typically I have about four or five times a year where I may get a day or two or more when I can dress at home alone. There are times when I’m able to get several days like that in a month. Since I don’t travel much for work, I don’t have those opportunities for dressing or going out.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued) Question: Have you ever considered moving towards becoming more of a girl physically with options like hormones, feminisation surgery, breast enhancements, or SRS? Stephanie: Who in our world hasn’t? I’ve never really seriously considered it as an option for me as I’ve made too many choices and taken on too many responsibilities to pursue transitioning that completely. Moreover, I don’t feel compelled to take such measures, I’m not going to transition and don’t need to do so to be content. That doesn’t mean that I’m not intrigued by these options; I’ve just concluded that they aren’t options open to or desired by me. Question: Do you feel more like a boy or a girl now and why? Stephanie: I feel like me. I’m not sure how it feels to be either/or in the gender category. I know I’m male and I can live with that. I really don’t feel compelled to change my body surgically. Yet, I don’t feel, nor identify, fully with masculinity/maleness either. I consider myself ambigendered, which means just what it suggests: I can operated comfortably and with reasonable success in either gender—just like someone who is ambidextrous is relatively comfortable with using either hand.

I know that there are feminine traits that exist regardless of what I’m wearing or how I appear. I certainly don’t claim that I am a woman as that’s obviously not true, nor can I claim that I feel like one or think like one. I guess, I’m just in my own zone.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

Question: Have you ever dated or wanted to date another TGirl or a man? Stephanie: Am I attracted to other men? No—so I’ve never wanted to “date” one. On the other hand, I do find the female experience of sex to be a very intriguing notion. I know that is not possible for me, but I do wonder what it must feel like for a genetically female to experience sex. I also find it very intriguing to think about being feminine in romantic situations—to be the pursued rather than the pursuer. To be the one who is attracting rather than the attracted. To respond rather than initiate. That’s certainly possible within the confines of heterosexual marriage. And yes, it’s intriguing to imagine what it would be like to be wooed and courted romantically; to be treated as an attractive lady. But the fantasy falls apart when it runs into the hard realities of life—I just can’t imagine risking the damage that pursuing what is, at best, a curiosity for me. So, no, I’m not interested in dating men. Do I find other TGirls attractive; well, yes but in a qualified way. I find some TGirls very attractive just as I find many genetic women very attractive. That doesn’t mean I’m planning on pursuing either category for physical pleasures. I find platonic friendships with other TGirls to be very fulfilling emotionally and psychologically. For me, that’s enough. Sorry, I guess I’m straight-laced vanilla in this category; but for me it’s about gender and not sex. Question: Do you have any advice for other TGirls, especially ones that have yet to venture out as a girl? Stephanie: Don’t allow the pressures of the “community” dictate what you do and push you into taking risks with which you aren’t comfortable or prepared. It’s easy to think that you’re falling behind others, or aren’t as good as other Tgirls, just because you’re “in the closet.” Going out won’t solve all your problems; indeed it could exacerbate them. Weigh your options, examine your motives, plan your outings and enjoy them with friends. For me, finding the acceptance and support of TG friends and getting to actually meet and spend time with them far outweighs any self-satisfaction I might feel from just going out alone.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

Question: How is your life now as a TGirl? What's gone well and not so well? Stephanie: My life as a TGirl is better than has ever been. I’ve had more opportunities to dress in the past, but I know more about myself now than I ever have. I know that I can be happy within my limitations and I have supportive and accepting friends. I also have lots of online acquaintances with whom I can share experiences (and pictures). And I’ve found meaning in trying to be supportive and helpful to other TGirls, too. Indeed, I’ve come to realize that Stephanie isn’t just some fantasy that I store in a box hidden in a closet, but that she’s part of me at all times. Indeed that I’m a blend of masculine and feminine that is unique and valuable no matter what I’m wearing. My femininity isn’t something that I put on but it is a part of my identity that I can let out. And I’m thankful that I’ve found friends who understand that and appreciate that about me. I may not be out and open about it, but I’ve learned to cherish what I am within the limitations that I’ve accepted. Simply put, I’ve learned not to allow the prevailing views of being TG to create fear and self-loathing. I’ve learned that I won’t change those prevailing views, but I’ve learned not to let them oppress me. No, I’m not in the front lines of the TG liberation movement, but I do like to consider myself a covert operative working behind the scenes to try to encourage toleration in a broad sense. Question: Anything else you'd like to say? Stephanie: Be introspective. Examine your feelings and motivations and be honest with yourself so that you can establish a perspective on who you are and what you really want and need. Too often we pursue goals set for us by others, and those others don’t just consist of society at large or families, etc. but also from the TG community as well. Perspective is critical to knowing who we are but also to setting goals that are realistic for us and for our happiness. Try to discover what level of transgendered experience is realistic and fulfilling for you and pursue that with an eye towards building sustainable relationships. Happiness is rarely a companion to a solitary life no matter what clothes you’re wearing. Oh, and thanks, Rachel, for all you do for our community. You’re a real heroine!

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Featured

Stephanie Yates

Cover Girl

(continued)

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Editor’s Corner Rachel Williston Personal Website: http://rachelwilliston.com

Hi Everyone! If you have any articles for me to put into the next issue, please send them to [email protected] Please don’t forget that we are lucky enough to have 4 advice columnists (1 married couple and 2 TGirls). Please use them as the valuable resources they are … I don’t want to lose them!

(http://rachelwilliston.com)

Here is my latest article of sorts …

What Us Girls Have To Put Up With! As a group, I would say us TGirls are some of the most open and accepting people around. Its in our nature and partially comes from the fact that we are not widely accepted ourselves. Sure, we can go to TG meetings or some bars that cater to Tgirls and the like, but put us in mainstream society and we are not yet where we want o be … accepted. Case in point … I have a personal website. I’d like to think that it houses a good deal of information and resources about Tgirls, for Tgirls, and for significant others of Tgirls. Sure, there is some “fluff” there too such as photos of me and even a lingerie page, but the majority is my sincere effort to help the TG community.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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What Us Girls Have To Put Up With!

Editor’s Corner Rachel Williston Personal Website: http://rachelwilliston.com

I have a guest book on my site like many sites. Last week I had a couple different people write really discouraging entries in my guest book. I would say “upsetting” entries, but like most girls I have seen happiness and sadness being a Tgirl so the entries disappointed me more than anything else. I don’t know the gender of the writers, but my guess is that they were genetic males which brings up the question as to why they would be visiting my site to begin with! The comments went from calling me a freak to several other things I won’t repeat. They also suggested I close my site down … or rather, sort of forcefully stated it must shut down. The reason I bring this up at all is to say that being a Tgirl means a lot of different things. We are somewhat unique, yet there are many of us across the world. We often cover this part of us in secrecy rather than be embarrassed somehow. I try out help us girls out however I can, just be nice and genuine, and I get reactions like the guest book entries? For the many years I have had a website, I have never had negative reactions before. For me, it didn’t hurt … I was just taken back a bit with wonder for why anyone would say those kind of things. So, my thought is to just embrace who you are as a total human being. Accept the girl part of you fully. That doesn’t mean you have to become a full time girl, transition, etc. Just accept that part of you internally. It’s a fun part of you and it really is pointless to deny that the need to be a girl at least part time is not who you are. It is. You are far from alone. Whether you have the opportunity to dress once a day or once a year doesn’t matter really. That’s the outward expression of who we are. It’s the girl part of us that starts from the inside that’s important. Love from Rachel

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Ask Amy and Nan A married couple – Amy is a TGirl and Nan is a Genetic Girl (email us at [email protected])

Amy and Nan have graciously agreed to be my co-hostesses of the Pretty TGirls Group! Hopefully, they will have many readers’ questions to respond to in the future!

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Cocktails with Nicole Perspectives and advice from a TGirl (email me at [email protected])

Please feel free to email Nicole with your questions!

There were no questions submitted in time for this issue.

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Dear Abby L Advice from a TGirl’s perspective (email me at [email protected])

There were no questions submitted in time for this issue.

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Rachel’s TG Crossword (answers at the end of this issue … don’t peek first!)

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 I had an extended trip to Chicago and it was during another Island Girls Semi-Monthly Meeting. I planned a dinner with my friend Bridgett at the Velvet Rope and then we would head over to Club Krave. This time it was just Bridgett and I that would dine at the Rope which was relaxing. We then drove over to Club Krave in Blue Island. I had not been to the Island Girls in several months so I was mobbed with hugs, kisses and well wishes when I walked in. It’s always nice to walk into that type of a reception. While at Club Krave one of my friends pointed towards the end of the bar and said, “That’s a nice service that they provide.” So I inquired, “What service?” She stated that they do AIDS testing which is anonymous and free. They were representatives from the Howard Brown Health Center, www.howardbrown.org . They had been coming to Krave since I was there last. Another friend confided in us that she wanted to be tested but was afraid to go. So I said I would take her down and I would get tested too. She was reluctant but I could tell something was bothering her so I said come with me and we will both get tested. I have no risk factors but I thought if I went with her she would get tested and hopefully all would be fine. So we both got tested, both came back negative, and I know my friend slept a little easier that night. Another friend later came up to me afterwards and said that was a beautiful thing you did by getting tested with her. I felt it was only a minor sacrifice to help out a friend.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) The next night in Chicago I made plans with Bridgett, Elle and Karen to have dinner at the Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club. They are located at 3700 North Halsted in Chicago. Their webpage is www.kitkatchicago.com . The Kit Kat Club is a lounge and dinner club with nightly drag shows. I have heard that the drag shows are world class but it was mediocre at best the night we went. Although, being t-girls maybe we are harsher critics than most of the general populous. Our meal was very nice though and we all enjoyed each other’s company as usual. After dinner we decided to liven it up some. Boys Town, in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago, is the first officially recognized gay village in the United States. Halstead Avenue is the center of the village which also is home to the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community Center. There are many shops and restaurants situated in the village that cater to the community. There are several websites that promote the village including www.northalstead.com . Here you can find info on shops, restaurants and events. Parking is tough in the area as it always has a good crowd.

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) So we decided to go to Roscoe’s Tavern and Cafe which was just a short walk from the Kit Kat Club. It was packed inside. Two words used to describe this place would be “meat market.” Although packed it was still a fun place. Many boys and girls approached us and told us how fabulous we looked. I think fabulous was the word of the night as we received so many nice compliments. One young man walked up to me and said there is a dance floor out back and it is calling out your name. His name was Kevin and he was a nice kid. So I wandered out back to find the dance floor….and wandered…and wandered. The dance floor was way out back and packed. Before I knew it I was dancing up a storm. They played a hot mix of Lady Gaga, The Veronicas, Flo Rida and The Pussy Cat Dolls. I was dancing with 4 GG’s at the same time and these girls were grinding hard. Two of the girls wandered off and I continued to grind…errr I mean dance, with the other two girls. About that time Miss Bridgett had come by and spied me dancing, shook her head and laughed, and then wandered off. I don’t believe she was too shocked as she knows I love to dance. Oh well, that’s little ole moi. Roscoe’s is located at 3356 N. Halstead at the corner of Roscoe Street. Their website is http://roscoes.com .

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) Next stop was north of the border to Canada. Toronto is such a lovely city to be out in and I have so many nice friends there that it always makes for a fun time. My first night I was in Toronto I did not plan on getting out but the situation presented itself so I said why not. I had enough outfits with me so that wasn’t a concern. I decided to go out by myself and do some shopping and have a quiet dinner. I settled on dining at Sambuca’s on Church Street recalling that they had a quaint little bar inside the restaurant. I enjoyed a nice relaxing meal there and conversed with the bartender/waiter some. He recalled waiting on me back in December and motioned towards the table I sat at with friends. I only wish my memory was as good. The next night I was to meet some friends for dinner at O’Grady’s Pub on Church Street. My friend Larry and Sandy would be joining me. While waiting for them I was seated at the bar and met some nice boys named Franklin and Barry. Another t-girl came along and introduced herself as Sabrina. She was to meet for a reunion of her Gender Journey support group but was apparently early so she joined me for a drink. Finally Larry and Sandy came along and Sandy had brought another friend too. We had a nice dinner at O’ Grady’s and while dining a number of other friends came by and said hello to me. Larry teased me about knowing more people in there than himself and he is a regular there. I then came to the realization that the Gender Journey support group was mostly friends from previous visits. They were meeting upstairs at O’ Grady’s so I stopped up there to say hello to everyone.

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued)

Larry, Sandy and her friend were headed home after dinner so I decided to go to George’s Play on Church Street. The folks from the Gender Journey support group would be there and dancing. I also ran into Franklin and Barry there. We had great fun dancing there as usual. Most from the support group are kids…literally. They are all very nice young kids and they can really dance. We danced and worked up a sweat and the kids wanted to have a smoke. Although I don’t smoke I thought some cool fresh air would be nice so I joined them outside. The kids all sat on a wall out front and there was no more room so a F to M named Joanie beckoned me to sit on his lap. He is only 19, and tiny, but I eventually obliged. I was the approached by a t-girl from the club and she told me she had been watching me all night interact with these kids. She said I can really tell they adore you. I said, “Of course they do. I treat them with love and respect.”

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) I had some time the next day to visit a Toronto t-girl landmark of sorts. It is a boutique and B&B for tgirls and they claim to be “The Experts in Transformation.” It is in a section of Toronto that has a few rough spots. When I arrived the store was closed but there were notes posted to ring a doorbell which I did. The owner arrived and unlocked the door for me and asked me if I knew what I wanted. I stated I was from out of town and wanted to get a look at the shop and she started to close the door and said unless I knew what I wanted she was not going to open the store. I was a little taken aback as the website had posted store hours but she claimed she was a busy woman and didn’t have time to open the store. I continued to converse with her and eventually went next store with her to an art gallery she also owned. Although we continued to converse I would characterize my portion of the conversation as “forced pleasant” as she didn’t have much to say that was nice at this time. I will bite my tongue and stop there but if you look to visit this business I would call ahead first. Enough said.

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) The following night I was to meet a friend from online but had never met in person. Her name is Lynnie and is a long time member of our community. Lynnie wanted to give me a short driving tour of the city. She has the most gorgeous eyes that sparkled as she played tour guide. It was fun and a nice way to get to know each other better. We drove by Casa Loma and a number of other Toronto landmarks while we chatted, nonstop. We then met Larry for a drink at Zelda’s. Zelda’s has a “Silver Trailer Bar” and the bar patrons there are known as trailer trash. They have regularly scheduled drag shows and a number of fun events including Drag Idol. We just went to the bar for a cocktail before dinner. Their website is www.zeldas.ca . Zelda’s looks like a very fun place and I will have to get back here when I can spend more time. After Zelda’s we went for a nice dinner at Byzantium on Church Street. Their website is www.byz.ca .The menu was worldly and eclectic. It included buffalo, rabbit and ostrich dishes as well as pizza, seafood, chicken and lamb. Lynnie knew the owners well so they stopped by multiple times to chat with us. I got a seafood dish and it was very enjoyable. Being an athlete of many years I tend to eat a high number of calories but when the food is this good it is easy to clean your plate. After dinner Lynnie needed to get going so we bid each other a sweet adieu and then Larry and I went to George’s Play for a nightcap. Larry eventually had to go himself so I danced a little then decided to get going myself. The walk back to my hotel was not too long and enjoyable. Although late at night I felt safe and enjoyed the solitude while recalling another wonderful visit to Toronto.

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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky May 2009 (continued) Well that’s my time for now. Remember every step of the journey IS the journey. Don’t go through your journey alone. Get out and enjoy the company of others. Much love, Candice Candy can be contacted at [email protected] or at URNA, http://profiles.urnotalone.com/76280

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn Well, it's May and according to the old adage, we should be seeing flowers now. And we are at my house...if you count dandelions, that is. I have big pretty yellow patches all over my yard! My daughter and I were being silly the other day and were wearing dandelion garlands in our hair that she made. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Well, this month is a hodge-podge of tips, clothes, makeup, skin care, and whatever else I could think to fit in. I'm sending an open call for any ideas that you, dear readers, might want to share; I'd love to do a column one month of just stuff sent in by all of you. So if you have anything to share, please send it to me at [email protected] . I guarantee that it will see print.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) This is kind of a general thought regarding learning to use makeup for ladies who are just learning to use makeup. Playing with makeup is the best way to get it right. With practice, and the right products and techniques, you’ll develop the kind of quick-change talent and precision that will make you your own best artist. Plus, it's fun! This is why teenage girls spend hours in front of makeup mirrors trying things out. As the old joke says, the only way to get to Carnegie Hall is to practice, practice, practice! +++ Have you seen the infomercial for the Pedipaw? Well, I was browsing around on the Interwebs and read that while they aren't really all that good for dogs or cats (supposedly it makes the animal mean?), apparently they work great on humans. The lady that wrote this tip (I found it on ThriftyFun.com) says that it works well on her fingernails, toenails, and also is good for removing the hard, dry skin and calluses on the feet (and presumably, hands also, though she didn't mention that). The item costs $20; you can find it at WalMart or WalGreens, in the As Seen On TV section. Caveat Emptor! +++ I found this tip for tending to brittle and flaking nails on ThriftyFun.com also. If this is an issue for you, try some white iodine. Clean out an old nail polish bottle and brush for the white iodine. Apply it to your nails every day for a week, then once a week thereafter. According to the article, you should see results in just a few days if your nails are flaking, and within two months, you should have solid, healthy nails. The person who wrote the article says she uses it once a month now as a treatment. +++ If you like to use hair gel or styling glaze but don't like the way it dries out your hair, simply mix it with leave-in hair conditioner prior to applying it. The hold is still great, but your hair gets a healthy dose of conditioner, too.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) With the high cost of cosmetics, who can afford to keep going out and buying new lipsticks, especially if your favorite shade is hard to come by? Here's a nifty trick for using ALL of your lipstick! When the tube gets flat on the top, use a plastic cuticle tool to dig out the remaining lipstick. Put the remainder into a small plastic container and nuke it in the microwave for about 20 seconds or so. The lipstick will melt and, once cooled, is available for use again. Apply the lipstick with a brush. +++ I've found yet another source of the evil bacteria! Did you know that, when you use your cell phone earbud or Bluetooth earpiece while wearing makeup, you could be harboring harmful germs? I learned this recently; a GG friend of mine developed a rash where her Bluetooth earpiece sits. It turned out that, when she cleaned it, she found all sorts of foundation had worked its way into the crevasses of the device. This can even happen in male mode; a guy friend told me he had gotten a major blemish just inside his earlobe from his earbud. He pulled the little foam rubber cover off and put it in a cup of water to wash it; the water turned very dark as all of the gunk that had collected came free; it was nasty-looking! That was just from natural skin oils; can you imagine what it might have looked like if it were a woman wearing something like this? Check your earpieces, please, so you don't have this happen to you. +++ Last month I had a tip regarding scenting your hair in the back to hold the smell of your perfume a bit longer. This tip is almost a complement to that tip. Spritz a small amount of your scent onto a rag or a knee-hi and place near the intake of your hair dryer when using it. The scent will come through in the heat from the dryer and be carried in your hair. +++ For a special occasion this season, choose a dress or gown in a jewel-inspired color, and shimmer in deep purple, garnet, emerald or sapphire. Complete the look and feel regal in ruby, sapphire or amethyst jewels. For simple elegance, wear diamond stud earrings-even if they're faux.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) Here's a suggestion on how to learn what 'your' colors are. Choose colors you like, colors that make you feel good, and colors that you know look good on you. Once you have your “comfort zone" colors, try adding a pop of a new color for a modern edge. Again, it's all about having fun playing with your look. +++ You may be the artiest, best makeup girl in the business. It won't matter if your complexion is less than perfect. Spend time on your skin! Perfecting your complexion with the right skincare makes a little foundation go a long way. Same goes for concealing. Once all the flaws are erased, your eyes will automatically stand out, with nothing to distract the attention they deserve. It's time-consuming, I know, but it's what we have to do to be beautiful.

+++ Give your skin the appearance that color is coming from within. Layer some blush between foundation and powder to give your skin the appearance that it's a more natural color. +++ If you experience redness around the nose and cheeks, a yellow-based concealer will help even out skin tones. Gently apply your concealer in red areas and finish with a yellow or orange-based powder.

+++ To make makeup last all day, lightly spritz mineral water on your face after you've finished applying. This will set it and keep your look longer. +++ More uses for pantyhose! Have you ever been getting dressed and gotten deodorant on your clothing? Well, you can take some old hose, wad them into a ball, and quickly swipe the deodorant off your clothing before it has a chance to set.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) It's spring! This is when we can start wearing less and showing more skin. However, many women aren't as slender as we'd like to be at the beginning of spring. A small weight gain will make clothing feel tighter, so always have some 'fat' clothes available for those occasions and DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Every woman experiences this, for one reason or another. Remember this: everyone's weight fluctuates, and not everyone can be a size 6 or 8. As T-girls, it's even harder for us; we aren't designed to be that small naturally. The clothes a woman wears can make her look thinner. It isn't necessary to completely cover up if you're carrying a little bit of extra weight, and not every tip will work the same for everyone. Accentuate and accessorize your best features and minimize the ones you aren't so happy with. Find out what best flatters your figure and stick with it! You can dress slimmer and look thinner with these simple tips. * Dress monochromatic, all in one color, top to bottom, and try to avoid patterns. If you want to wear patterns, go for smaller ones that overlap. Avoid horizontal stripes. Look for thin vertical and diagonal lines for a fluid look. Choose darker solid colors such as black, navy blue and gray. Black rules! * Select accessories to draw attention from trouble spots. * Wear clothes that fit. Not too baggy but not tight and clingy. Always try on clothes. Different designers have different size charts. Avoid bulky sweaters and sweatshirts! * Avoid pleats. Flat front pants and skirts are instant slimmers. * Low-rise pants that hit just below your navel will lengthen your torso. However, if you have a tummy, low-rise pants can negatively accentuate this. Avoid too-tight pants that cling to your hips and thighs. Instead, try trousers with comfortable legs and wide cuffs. * If you have a large bust, invest in a good support bra.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) * For longer looking legs, skirts should fall right above the knee. For longer, thinner-looking legs, opt for an asymmetrical, tiered skirt.

* Avoid shiny fabrics such as velour and satin. Forego the frills, also. Extra ruffles and material only add bulk. Bright colors should be worn to attract attention away from problem areas. * High heels add height and shape to your legs. That's why runway models are always in heels. * Dark panty hose will make large legs appear thinner. Stay away from patterned leggings, especially horizontal stripes. * Wear undergarment foundations such as control top pantyhose and shapers. * If you prefer wearing a sleeveless dress, cover your upper arms with a sheer, elegant shawl. This is a very feminine look as well as a good cover-up, and will keep you a bit warmer on a chilly spring evening. * Avoid small handbags. Stick with a bag that is in proportion to your body. * A dress with a matching coat can hide bulges. * Match your belt and shoes to your skirt or pants to make your legs appear longer. A thick waistband helps flatten the tummy. * Don't tuck your blouse in. Buy those that fall just below your waist, but aren't too long. Also, V-neck garments will make your torso appear longer. Choose open collar shirts and scoop necklines.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) Again, remember that weight is something that happens, and don't, don't, DON'T let it be a discouragement to dressing!

+++ Have you been noticing any mustiness to your spring and summer clothes as you bring them out of storage? Try ironing them with some lightly-scented water. Add some to your iron and, using the steam setting, brush it gently over your clothing. Lavender water is a good one to use, but try any subtle scent you like. The musty smell will disappear! +++ Here are a couple of tips for the taller girls (like me). Skirts that are especially short or especially long tend to be unflattering on taller women. Rather than tucking in shirts and blouses, wear them over skirts or pants. Wide belts are very flattering and can add balance to a look, but tight ones should be avoided. +++ If you've ever had a problem with acne, you may have been left with acne scars. If you have mild scarring and don't want to try chemical peels or other home treatments that could hurt sensitive skin, go for a natural alternative. Aloe vera, rosehip seed oil, and lavender oils are all said to help reduce the appearance of mild acne scars. However, it is always best to consult your dermatologist first. +++ Do you have brittle nails that break easily? If so, you may not be getting enough calcium. Make sure you get plenty in your diet, both in the food you eat, as well as vitamins if necessary. Also, check the labels on your scented or perfumed hand lotions -- these tend to contain alcohol, and can make brittle nails worse.

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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) This is a tip to make a round face appear slimmer. For most people, a shoulder-length cut does the trick; avoid hair or a wig that is too long or too short. Use layers instead of straight lines to give your hair more body, and consider highlights in vertical sweeps. Of course, it's always best to ask your stylist's opinion! All right! This is a short column, girls; I have to get some things taken care of in real life. I hope that someone out there finds something useful in this month's column, and I'd love to hear from you if you do. Write me with any ideas, tips, suggestions, and politely worded complaints at [email protected] ; I promise I'll answer any mail I receive. In the meantime, get out and enjoy that spring weather!

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TG Funnies! by Mellissa Lynn In a TG world, things would look like this …

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So You Think That Your Family Does Not Know By Barbara Marie Davidson Just like many young boys, I went through a phase of playing with my mom’s clothes. However, instead of out growing it as most boys do, it lay dominant in the back of my mind. It would surface every once and a while, but I was limited in what I could do about it. When I got married, I found that my wife and I were almost the same size and of course the urge returned. This was in the late 1960’s. About this same time I found out about FPE (FI PI Epsilon) and became a member. It later became TriEss. My wife found out by accident after we had been married for a couple of years and it was an uncomfortable relationship for a while; however we got things worked out as we really loved each other.

Of course the urge was still there even though she did not approve at all. But then we had children (3) and her only comment was she did not want them to find out because what would it do them. She loved to play bridge and would go out several nights a week to play cards. Between the time that the kids went to bed and she would come home, I would get dressed for a few minutes and then put everything away. (Doing makeup was not in the picture for a long time to come). As the kids got older and started to move away from home, I was able to dress a little more frequently when she was out playing bridge.

So for a long period of time, I was FDH (fat, dumb and happy) thinking that no one knew except my wife. That all changed after my wife died in December of 2006. I began dressing more frequently, joined TriEss, and then Sigma Epsilon, recently attending my first two meetings. I had also begun experimenting with make up (CG) but with out help or guidance I was doing a sloppy job. So I sought out help from the cosmetic counters at Belks. (Another story) Last November, I called my brother who lives in Atlanta and asked if I could stay with him in December and of course I told him why. His remark was I wondered how long it was going to take you to come out. (I did not think about it at the time) While I was there he told me that he and my wife had talked about my dressing several years ago. Mind you that my wife had said she did not want any one to find out.

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So You Think That Your Family Does Not Know By Barbara Marie Davidson (continued) I recently had to place my oldest son in a drug and alcohol program. When he came home we were talking about different things and I mentioned that I was not changing my life style. Since we were “coming clean” about different things, I told him about my other self (Barbara). He said cool and then told me that he knew as he and my wife had talked several years ago about it. I then found out that my other son knew as well. I was telling my sister about my black eye (also another story) with out going into details and mentioned that make up does wonders in hiding a multitude of skin problems. Then she told me that she knew as well as about my cross dressing as she and my wife had also talked a “few years ago.’ My brother had sent her some pictures that he took in December and her remark was “you look a lot like mom.”

That left my daughter. Although she and my wife had not talked nor had she talked with her brothers, she suspected it a number of years ago but never said any thing. This past weekend she and my 2 granddaughters were here and I tried to tell her, but she was not ready to talk. However, late last night before going to bed she was ready to talk about it. She did not understand nor was she ready to see the pictures from last weekend, but as long as I was happy with it, she was some what OK with it. She did say that she was happy that I had support through Sigma Epsilon. So you see “ladies” you might think that your kids or your family don’t know about your second self. Don’t be so sure or so FDH like I was. 80 % of the time they probably know but will not say any thing until you all sit down and clear the air (talk about it).

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot

Xpressions Christmas Gala 2008

It was the week before the Xpressions Christmas Gala weekend and Pamela Ann was frazzled: oh what to wear, what to bring, will it be cold or warm- decisions, decisions .First the hair needed washing, I hate calling them wigs. Find that special shampoo and conditioner, gently bathe and rub the shampoo in, gently rinse, then add the conditioner, but only for a certain time. While the hair is drying check the make-up. Is there enough foundation for the weekend? Do I have lipstick and lip liner for day and evening wear. Don’t forget the eye shadows and brushes .Oh my goodness the make up brushes need to be washed ,back to the sink and gently wash and rinse all brushes. Now to find a place for them to dry. Check for eye shadow and eye liner and determine if it is still in style and the right color.

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued) Lingerie: will three sets do for the weekend, do the bras and panties match? Don’t forget that strapless bra for the gala, should I bring black or white. Clothes, a lady needs clothes! That’s it I’ll make a check list. Thursday evening jeans and a top. Friday morning black slacks from Tall Girl and dress boots and of course a different top .Saturday morning leather slacks or the brown dress if it’s warm. Shoes: a pair for each out fit and of course an extra pair or two. Purses: how many, one for day wear and an evening bag. Nylons: what colour, black, beige, control top or sheer, oh throw them all in. Jewelry: do these ear rings match this out fit, or should I take different ones. Of course I need a warm jacket and scarf..The lighting is usually poor in these hotels so the make up mirror is an absolute necessity. What to wear for the gala, it has to be something that hasn’t been seen by any Xpression members .Into the closet this has been worn, that has been seen, oh finally a black dress not worn at any Xpressions events. Will it fit properly? Now will everything fit in the vehicle? From the look and tone of my spouse’s voice I realized there was some need to down size.

Thursday We arrived at the Primrose around 3 P M Thursday afternoon. It was one of those long drives where we were not able to make any time .After a shower and make up application it was time to meet Anna Maria in the hotel lobby. She is very gracious and offered to drive us for the evening. We opted to have dinner near by so it was off to Café California. At the restaurant we were greeted by the owner with the usual round of hugs. We had a very nice meal with wine. After dinner the three of us did a walk around Church street. It was windy and cold so we found a nice wine shop on the corner of Wellesley and Church, where I purchased a few bottles for the weekend. Then we headed back to the hotel and the hospitality suite. Sally and Samantha were there as well as Stephanie four and a few other new girls. After the usual greetings we chatted for a hour or so while enjoying a night cap before retiring for the evening.

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued) Friday Up bright and early it was time for a light make up application for day time .At the Hospitality suite Sally was the only one present so we decided to do breakfast at a very nice restaurant a few doors down from the hotel .If the number of people coming and going was any indication of the quality of the place the majority was correct .We were greeted warmly and the service was only surpassed by the company and meal. It was very interesting chatting with Sally and learning a lot about what goes into planning and organizing the gala as well as learning what the expenses are. After breakfast we headed back to the hospitality suite where Sally returned to her duties and I checked my make up.There wasn’t much activity there and no one else wanted to go shopping so I headed out to Atrium on the Bay. It was another cold day so I decided to cab it there. This shopping area has many fine shops and a huge food court. I wandered around checking out some nice jewellery shops as well as a few ladies clothing stores. Eventually I came to the store I was looking for, Tall Girl..They have an incredible selection of fashions for taller women ,ranging from casual wear, career wear, dresses, jeans, outerwear ,lingerie, hosiery and sleep wear all in tall sizes..Tall Girl has fashions that are expertly proportioned to fit tall long legged and tall long waisted women in sizes 5 to 20. I tried on several items and finally decided on a short jacket ,it was a jean jacket cut with pin stripes like the engineers on the train wore . As I was leaving the mall I came across a Guess Store, a great place to find beautiful shoes and lovely hand bags. There were many items on sale and the sales people very friendly and helpful. I tried on several pairs with a nice 6 inch heel but it was a very expensive store. I then toured The Sears Center ,but after a short while the crowds started to get on my nerves ,so I headed across the street to The Bay and finally ending up at Addition Elle..Although I didn’t purchase much on my outings it was great to be out and about as a woman..

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued) Then it was time to head back to the hospitality suite for afternoon tea. The tea was hosted by Vicky and Marilyn they provided tea and desserts ,this was a great way to end the afternoon sipping tea out of fine china and eating tasty desserts including scones. Then it was time to head to the room to freshen up the make and change clothes before heading to dinner at Zelda’s. As this was a cold weekend I decided to wear my leather slacks with a matching top. Some girls decided to walk and others decided to drive. As this northern girl is use to wearing her snow suit she and her spouse and Caroline hopped into Anna Maria ‘s car for the short trip to Zelda’s. At the restaurant we were seated at a long table, there were about thirty of us there, Sylvia and Shirley sat across from us and told us all about her trip to Russia .Anna Maria was beside them. Caroline was on my left with Judy on the right..The meals and drinks were excellent. There was a round of stories that kept everybody entertained throughout the evening. When dinner was finished the ladies started heading out in various directions ,some went to El Convento Rico others to Good handy to check out the shows and dancing. Later in the evening the hospitality suite filled up with ladies just chatting and getting ready for the fuzzy slipper contest that would take place next evening.. Saturday It’s unbelievable how quick mornings come, after doing my make up I headed down to lobby for a coffee and breakfast .Sophia and her beautiful spouse were all ready there and asked my to join them. Again it was great to have some fine company during our meal. I chatted to Debbie about her shopping the day before and Sophia told some interesting stories about the music business. After breakfast I headed up to the hospitality suite where I met Susan. We chatted for a while discussing where to go shopping, maybe because of the cold we managed to procrastinate long enough and were just about to leave when the seminars started..

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued) The first seminar was “The Power Of Make up..The seminar was hosted by Mobile Spa of Toronto. The presenter” Ella” was very knowledgeable on how to use colors to enhance beauty. After the seminar there were several make up artists available for make overs. The next seminar was presented by The Sherbourne Health Centre and Rainbow Health Ontario. There were two presenters, the first one, Jasmine, gave us an overview of the programs the second Devan Nambiar, who is the Education Coordinator presented information on transitioning as well as information on their policy. If any one is thinking about transitioning or want information on your gender journey check out. www.rainbowhealthontario.ca. Ada Brown did the next seminar on “The Feminine Voice”She demonstrated how to develop a feminine voice using inflection, intensity, and sentence phrasing. This was fun and informative. Ada Brown led the ladies doing voice exercise .It was fun listening and trying to develop the feminine voice .It was also great to hear the changes in peoples voices after just a few exercises. The next presenter was Paddy Aldridge from “Take A Walk On The Wildside” her presentation was called‘’ The Stocking Act” .For the lady’s that were brave enough to stay it was so much fun that I still get a chuckle when I think back about this seminar. Paddy was a striper for ten years before she opened Wildside. .She gave us each a nylon and demonstrated how we should sit as well as which garter to remove first and how to do it .It was hilarious and great fun. I’ll try to remember all the steps and hopefully be able to list them in a future article .It was a great seminar. After this seminar it was time to head up to the room to apply that evening make up and that special dress for the gala.

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued) The Gala The Gala was hosted in The Pheasant room which is perfect for this event. It has two levels and four distinct areas that are connected..The room walls are painted with beautiful murals . There is a hard wood dance floor for the dancers. Doctor Music had her area just above the dance floor. The casino was off to one side and the dining room was below it. The dancers were able to dance and have the floor to them selves ,if they tired they could join the chatters at the tables and if that got boring they could head up top to do a little gambling. Since all the areas were connected you still felt part of the group. There was a large foyer, with stairs and several mirrors, that was great for taking pictures. For the evening both my spouse and I wore black dresses. Judy’s was a strapless dress with rhinestones on the bodice, with floral detailing . I wore an empire waist dress with thin straps. The evening started off with cocktails in the Xpressions gala lounge, there was a complementary pink punch bowl and a cash bar. The gourmet dinner consisted of a tossed salad with various dressing’s, roast Ontario turkey ,roast potatoes ,seasoned vegetables, rolls and butter .Then black forest cake and tea and coffee. The tables were round which made for great conversation. After dinner it was time to head to the casino or dance floor. Everyone was given $150.00 in playing chips. With this money you could by tickets for the draws later. If you were a gambler you could head to the casino and hopefully increase your money and buy extra tickets. We spent the next three hours chatting , gambling ,dancing and taking pictures. How many cross-dresser does it take to change a light bulb? 27 Why so many ? One to change the bulb and 26 to take pictures.

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Of Interest To TGirls By Pamela Ann Elliot (continued)

Then it was time to cash in the chips for tickets on the various prizes. Paddy Aldridge from Wildside. donated twelve wigs. They were drawn according to the months of the year with the winner being able to choose their wig in the month they won .January ,February ,Etc. I was fortunate to win Miss December .Each winner picked out the ticket for the next winner and I drew my spouse”s ticket and she won the grand prize, a set of breast forms .Needless to say she has little use for them so after considerable negotiations I was allowed partial custody. Mine are a C cup and the new ones are a B cup. so that will be great for those dresses that are little tight on top. Of course this means that I’ll have get out shopping for some new bras with matching panties as soon as possible. During the evening there was also a fuzzy slipper contest. .Susan from our table, another Northern lady, won a gift certificate from Truly You Wig Boutique for her lighted slippers. It was a heated contest where participants strutted their slippers across the dance floor and were voted on by the attendees After the draws and the thank you speeches were completed Doctor Music and the dancers took over the floor to complete the evening. The Christmas Gala gets better each year. Thank you very much to the organizers for a great job, well done. Sally, Steph 2 Samantha Marilyn and Vicky. It was a great event. Hugs Pamela Ann

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How To Fly The Friendly Skies As A TGirl By Alison Young Two years ago I spent a wonderful week in Las Vegas. I enjoyed one of those rare get-aways when we part-time Tgirls, burdened by jobs, wives, and children, get to be a girlie girl 24-7. I primped through the Bellagio casino in outrageous heels and danced the night away at Studio 54, and thought to myself, "nothing can top this". Boy, was I wrong. As much as i reveled in spending time trying on $5000 jackets at Chanel and turning heads in the casinos, nothing could beat my trip home. Flying economy class on a commercial airline can be fairy humdrum, but flying en femme..... now there's a challenge! Defying common sense and perhaps common decency, I decided to fly from Vegas to Boston as a girl. Mind you, I never would have decided on such an insane course of action were it not for Amy, the awesome proprietor of Glamour Boutique in Las Vegas, and my friend Leila, a gorgeous Tgirl who lives in Vegas and first planted the idea in my head by innocently asking, "What are you wearing on the plane, dear?. Leila assured me that flying en femme was no big deal. She described several successful journeys that she had taken over the past several years, including trips to foreign countries. (How she got through customs I have no idea.) Amy mentioned that many of her male clients flew en femme all the time. I replied that only girls as good looking as Leila could possibly manage such a stunt. (I can pass as a woman, as long as no one is either within a hundred yards of me or, better yet, actually looking at me.)

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How To Fly The Friendly Skies As A TGirl By Alison Young (continued)

As exciting as flying home en femme sounded, I mulled the matter over in my head, uncertain whether such an escapade would qualify me for the T-girl medal of honor or a one way ticket to divorce court and the unemployment line. Surely, I would be recognized by the airline folks as a man, I reasoned. Then either they or the TSA (security) would deny me access to the plane. Relax, counseled Leila; it is your legal right to fly dressed anyway you want to. The airline and TSA would risk a huge lawsuit if they did not let me on the plane, she added. Okay, I said. But won't people stare and laugh at me? Indeed, for me the essential question was whether i would be comfortable knowing that I would be "read" as a man in drag. And the attendant conundrum, of course, is the fact that all T-girls want to be gorgeous but most cannot afford to draw attention to themselves because that increases the risk of being "read". After debating the matter in my mind for hours the day before leaving Las Vegas, I resolved to plunge ahead and keep cool - literally and figuratively - by dressing light and sensibly and by promising myself to stick it out and enjoy the experience. Thus, I took very little carry-on baggage and wore clothing as if it was ten degrees cooler than it actually was in order to avoid sweating like a bitch in heat. A modest pair of "flats" or low heels made things immensely easier as well. It was not easy dressing down - it never is - but sometimes it pays to be sensible instead of a diva, my usual default mode. Perhaps most importantly, on the sage advice of John, the fab owner of Glamour Boutique in Massachusetts, I packed my silicone breast forms in my checked bags since because they are a liquid they are forbidden on planes. (My alternative "tits", made of foam, did not feel quite as natural as the breast forms, but they still did the trick. Can you imagine how deflating it would have been if I had been asked to remove my breasts by airport security?!?)

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How To Fly The Friendly Skies As A TGirl By Alison Young (continued)

To my surprise, everything went smoothly, indeed more smoothly than I ever imagined. In retrospect, perhaps I should be bothered by the fact that none of the administrative personnel at the airport seemed to care about my appearance; I guess that "en femme" I don't look much different than I do on my license. OUCH! At the same time, why should I care? I actually found the experience oddly relaxing, perhaps because I couldn't really do anything about the situation and thus just had to ignore my fears and enjoy the trip. So I read a lot and had a very pleasant and validating conversation with one of my neighbors on the plane. (Bless her heart; the poor thing had a nasty cold.) So, I made it back home safe and sound (except for one or two blisters - the foot kind, not that other kind, thank goodness. Flying en femme might seem like it is the boldest thing a novice T-girl can do besides going to a professional football game in drag. (Please promise never to do this.) Yet, flying en femme is really no different than going shopping at the mall en femme or going to the movies en femme. It is just a slightly longer or perhaps more complex experience, depending on where you are going, of course. One thing is for sure, once you conquer the friendly skies, everything else seems a whole lot easier.

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Pretty TGirl Members Then and Now (Photos of how we looked when first dressing as a girl and how we look today) MellissaLynn Then

MellissaLynn Today

This could be you here! Then Today We are always looking for photo’s of our members from when they first started dressing and now. Please post them in the group. We would love to put them in our magazine.

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Recipes by Mollie Bell

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Articles reprinted in Pretty TGirls Magazine have the approval of The Canadian http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/transgender_transsexual.html

From A man Into Becoming A Woman (by Brianna Austin) ~~~~~~

Many of us have fantasized about becoming a woman; waking everyday with silky smooth legs & curvaceous bodies. Gliding in high heels, wearing makeup, garterbelts, and stockings and blending in. Enjoying our feminine self without any hecklers or unwanted remarks. For some this is more than fantasy, it is a life long objective just within reach. There are so many t-sisters out there searching for happiness convinced that they would find it in womanhood. For a very few, some who are truly transsexuals – woman trapped in a man’s body -- they do find happiness. For too many others it was but an empty illusion. As cross dressers we experience such joy in the female role that some seek that joy all the time. But one must recognize the illusion they experience. When we put on our frocks and frills and step out in our high heels (or stay in), we enjoy the magic of that moment. But it is just that – a moment. For a fleeting second in time we have found our own utopia, but can the experience really be sustained? Do you dream of life as a woman 24/7? Is it reality or fantasy that drives you? First off, many of us do not dress because we are displaced women in a man’s body. Dressing provides an escape from something; whether it is an over bearing mother, father or wife, a release of the pressures of ones job, an ability to express a part of one’s self more comfortably through a female persona, sexual gratification or any other of dozens of descriptions. What am I saying? I am saying that it is great in a limited space of time, but to do it everyday may not be the dream one imagines.

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From A man Into Becoming A Woman (by Brianna Austin) … continued ~~~~~~ When many men dress they leave the problems of life with their male identity and escape into the wonderful carefree life of womanhood, and it can be delicious. However, when you seek to be a woman all the time you re-enter back into the real world. Your previous problems, from which you were trying to escape, are no longer escapable as a full time woman. Moreover, the problems are still there except your have to now deal with them as a woman, which is not an easy task. I have had so many men say to me “I am so relaxed as a woman.” Perhaps they are relaxed because they have escaped the day to day grind and pressure of life. Many CD’s when they are in their “I have to dress” frame of mind can’t think of anything else. They will put off important issues until they are done, an hour – a day or a week later, knowing that they will return to the issues at hand when they are fulfilled. Many times they return feeling renewed and refreshed. But if you were living as a woman you could not put these things off; they would be part of your life and have to be dealt with timely. Not only does transition mean dealing with life “as” a woman; it means experiencing life “not” as a man. Many of the benefits of being a man will disappear, and there are many benefits in this society to being a man I assure you. I am not trying to prevent anyone from pursuing their dream of transition or full time dressing, I am simply saying -- STOP -- think about transition and make sure you have thought it through. Despite the politically correct assumption that all things are equal, for woman they are not. Moreover, a woman has been practicing her assimilation into society all her life – from childhood through the teenage years right into adulthood. She has been prepared to live in society as a woman, learning her strengths and weaknesses as well as the advantages and setbacks. You have not.

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From A man Into Becoming A Woman (by Brianna Austin) … continued ~~~~~~ A man who was used to certain access, attention and respect may be very frustrated by the new lack of it. Many trannies say to me “I get so much attention as a girl, more than I ever did as a man.” Honey that is sideshow attention, you are the spectacle, the organ grinder monkey. The monkey gets lots of attention – what does that really mean? Would you get more attention and respect at working; getting a loan, making a business deal, or is it only at the tranny bar? Give that some real honest thought. In 1985 I had a dear friend, she was called the International Chrysis. She was tall, feminine and beautiful ala Rita Hayworth. She was a bombshell who was very comfortable in her gay sexual orientation, unlike many cross dressers who have internal struggles over whether they are gay, BI or heterosexual. She had started hormones at the age of 16 and now 18 years later with an hourglass figure and 38-C breasts questioned her decision. I spent many nights with her as she cried saying “what have I done, I am a monster.” When I asked what she meant she said, “I should have just been a gay man.” I was stunned. How could this be? She was beautiful, feminine and had no question about her sexuality - she liked men. She was a natural candidate to be TS, all except for one thing – she was not a woman inside, she was a man. People assume that everybody fits into a clear mould based on certain factors, I certainly did. Chrysis struggled with life as a woman spending most of her time androgynous in her hairstyle and clothing. Only during a night out, or doing a show did she portray the illusion of a woman, and even then referred to her makeup and wig as drag. “Let me get out of this drag” she would say at the end of the night. It was only a year or so before her death that she let her hair grow and began to accept and portray the role of a woman. She even landed a speaking part in the movie Q & A with Nick Nolte shortly before her untimely death.

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From A man Into Becoming A Woman (by Brianna Austin) … continued ~~~~~~ A current friend is on a fast track to transition; the hormones are flowing, breasts are growing, skin softening and surgery is being planned. When she is complete - does that make her a woman? She still reacts like a man, has the temperament of a man, thinks like a man and has the libido of a man. So with the body of a woman what is she? I conclude she is still a man. My very dear friend Teryl-Lynn Fox (the former Miss Gay Louisiana and countless other titles), who has been living as a woman for over twenty years, said it best. “Womanhood is something you have to grow into, it is not something you just become. It is a journey that evolves – changing continually.” Many of my other friends struggle for a sense of understanding. Is my current friend a gay man looking for validation? Does she think in her mind that to be with a man would be O.K. if she were a woman? Sexuality plays a huge underlying role in the lives of many cross dressers. Another friend once told me “I am not gay, I am only with men when I am dressed up.” “Does the dress make a difference” I asked? To him it apparently does. This is not to portray that all cross dressers are confused about their sexual orientation, because there are many that are very comfortable in their heterosexual orientation. But then that would make them lesbians wouldn’t it? On second thought, that is another article all together.

“Your body is the taxi that carries YOU around” I once wrote. Who you are is what this article is all about, inside you, your heart, your spirit and your soul. Don’t rush off in hope that transition will make your life better; find out who you are first. When you get in touch with that, then, and only then are you ready to deal with a life altering decision. If you have the spirit of a woman and really want to bring your body in line with “you”, which you believe in your very bones should have been a woman, then transition makes sense, but absolutely anything less is a tempting but empty fantasy. About the writer: Brianna Austin is co-author of "I'd Do It Again," a free lance writer, and publisher of TG Life, a website by, for and about the transgender community.

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The following is a publication found on Gender Evolve. My thanks to Michele Angelique for her permission to use valuable TG information found on Gender Evolve. Please check Gender Evolve out at www.genderevolve.com

Transgender Employment Solutions (by Michele Angelique) ~~~~~~

Many transpeople find themselves changing employment at some point during their transition. Often it’s been lamented that the only opportunities for t-people are in the entertainment business. Obviously, this situation has to change. Unemployment can be a source of added psychological stress during transition, a time which may already be fraught with challenges. This issue must be addressed in order to find ways in which transgender people can be financially secure, either through employment or entrepreneurialism. Let’s examine various sides of the issue, and find progressive ways to facilitate solutions Trans-Friendly Employers Whether or not to transition “in the workplace” is a question facing many transpeople. The answer often depends upon the employer’s perceived tolerance toward such a change, the peer culture within the workplace, and how financially dependant the transperson is upon the employer. These factors lead many transpeople to remain “in the closet”, and live a double life in which they attend work presenting a different gender than they spend the rest the time. This condition leads to emotional stress and paranoia for the transperson that their employer should learn of their secret. Unfortunately, many cases have told us that all too often this fear is well-founded. A close friend of mine was living the double life, and one evening she was spotted by some co-workers while out en femme. Within a week, not only had she lost her job, but word had traveled to competing firms in the city which might have hired her. The result for her was to be forced to start from scratch rebuilding a career in a different line of work altogether.

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Transgender Employment Solutions (by Michele Angelique) … continued ~~~~~~ Another close friend decided not to live the double life anymore, and decided to come out to her employer. On the surface, it seemed a risky revelation given that she works in a “manly-man” type of business, and 95% of her co-workers are blue-collar males. However, she decided to have a meeting with her managers and tell them of her transgendered status and intent to transition permanently. She explained that she would like to begin coming to work wearing makeup and female clothing. The owners and management of the company were supportive of her, and sanctioned the requested changes. She has since been going to work looking incrementally more feminine, while always remaining in the bounds of prudence. She dresses similarly to the women in her workplace, as her goal is not to receive extra attention or be a distraction to others, but rather just to be herself. She’s now happily doing just that. Her 50+ male co-workers have been respectful and accepting, some have even asked sincere questions wanting to better understand her transition. Her story gives me hope because sometimes an abundance of tolerance may exist in places where we assume there would be none. The problem is, it is difficult to determine whether a company will be trans-friendly or not, until you take the plunge and ask the question. For some people, asking that question is just too risky, so it never gets asked. I propose that we begin building a page on GenderEvolve that indicates the names of companies known to be trans-friendly. We can collect t-friendly employer names from the transgender community, and we can also contact companies and find out if they qualify to be listed on our page. If anyone reading this knows of trans-friendly companies, please respond in the comments section of this article or to [email protected] .

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Transgender Employment Solutions (by Michele Angelique) … continued ~~~~~~ The Transgender at Work (TAW) project is a focal point for addressing workplace issues for the transgendered. TAW provides resources for innovative employers who want to set their company employment policies to help their transgendered employees to be at their most productive, without spending energy hiding an important part of themselves and pretending to be something they are not. Transgender at Work (TAW) focuses on voluntary cooperation between employers and employees. While civil rights laws are important to understand, and provide useful examples of language, advocacy for laws is outside the scope of TAW. Resources for transgendered employees: http://www.tgender.net/taw/tg.html *** Self-Employment Opportunities The other career option for a transgender person is to become their own boss. This is the ideal solution for maximum personal freedom. There is no reason a TG-owned business must be based on, or have any relation to, transgenderism. There is no limit to the type, nature, scope of business that a transgender person could undertake, it just depends upon individual skills, visions, talents and financial resources to get started. The first question to ask yourself when thinking about starting your own business is “what do I love?”. Think of what activities or causes make you the happiest. Ponder any and every avenue that might enable you to do these things that you love, in the context of providing valuable goods or services. If you can earn a living doing something you love, you will feel like you’ve never worked a day in your life. The next question to ask yourself is, “what am I good at?”. Any business that you own should enable and challenge you to operate at your best. Honestly evaluate your strengths, identify your top five strengths, and look for ways to build upon those. Similarly, identify areas that may be required in your business but are not within your realm of skill, and think about ways to support those areas. You may wish to partner with others, or hire consultants to fill in the gaps.

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Transgender Employment Solutions (by Michele Angelique) … continued ~~~~~~ The third question to ask yourself is, “who else would value these things?”. The types of people that fall into this category are your potential customers. Think of ways you might be able to get their attention with your product or service. Consider the demographics of these potential customers, such as age range, income, family status, cultural genre, location, habits, education, lifestyle, and preferences. Put yourself in their shoes, and imagine what might compel you to make a buying decision. Take the information you have gathered in the above three questions, and put them together. You now have a basis for a potential self-employment business opportunity, and can begin seeking to fill in the details. Here is a valuable resource portal to guide you through the rest of the process of starting your own business. http://www.entrepreneur.com/bizstartups/ *** In conclusion, many transgendered people may find the best solution to be self-employment, although the transgender employment situation is one which is bound to change over the coming years. Employers will become more aware, and human resource policies will be written that prevent discrimination against transgendered people, in much the same way that sexual discrimination policies have evolved to prevent harassment of women on the job. It is my hope that we will be able to gather an ever growing list of transfriendly employer names to add to our special page on GenderEvolve.

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Thoughts For TGirls (by Eve) ~~~~~~ I am old, a senior citizen, who has been involved in dressing since the age of 5. I am a closet crossdresser, who has never, ever, ventured outside my closet. It would take a team of highly skilled surgeons just to make me pass in front of my mirror. I have always felt shame for what I do, and I believe I am nothing more than a second class citizen. I have read many introduction into our needs via the internet, along with many photos of our second selves. Most intros are equal within our happening which lead us to where we are today. My thoughts and theories differ greatly from what I have read throughout the many T-Girl sites I came across. I am not writing this email to you to post these thoughts, but to offer what little experience I might have acquired throughout my years. I would recommend all ladies to throw away all their eye make-up other than the following colors. Black, brown, and various of shades in between these colors. No blues, no greens, no whites, no oranges, nothing but black and brown in various shades within these two colors. If you are a male who ventures out dressed into the world of the public, you must, and I say must, throw away all your male short sleeves shirt. The tan line from just above your elbow to your finger tips, is a dead give away. Wear long sleeve shirts, or stay out of the sun. The sun can tan your arms even on cloudy days so just wear long sleeve shirts. Beard cover is soooooooo important. Believe it or not, it's better to look like you have too much make-up on, than it is to see your shadow. What I'm about to say is very, very important. Dressing down is much better than dressing up. What I mean by this, is, clothing can make the women but it can also make the man. Do not, and I repeat, do not buy and wear female clothing that is one or two sizes smaller than your frame. By clothing one or two sizes larger than your frame. I don't know if you know this or not, but the female body is different than the male body. The two most outstanding features of the female body are their hips and the their ass. These two features are needed to house a fetus, to produce an offspring. Off these two features, the hips, yes, the hips, are the most difficult for a male to duplicate. So, the tighter the dress, skirt, the easier the tell becomes. Full shirts and dresses, or a size larger, will give the appearance of feminine hips. Tight is sexy, when worn on a female, but on a T-Girl, it can be a dead giveaway.

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Thoughts For TGirls (by Eve) … continued ~~~~~~

Nylons or pantyhose. Both of course but try to reframe from wearing black. Black detracts from the beauty of the colored female clothing we are wearing. Black nylons or pantyhose has no place within the Bright colors and pastels that are so pretty. A soft gray and nudes, nudes and nudes are the best in my opinion. Everyone thinks black is sexy, and so it is under the right circumstances. Shoes can present a problem for T-Girls if they have large feet. Most T-Girls have large feet, and what I mean by large is anything beyond the size 9. You may disagree with this, as you are probably going to disagree with everything I have written, but foot size is very important to the T-Girl. The higher the heel, the smaller the foot will appear. Should I repeat that? Try to surround yourself with pumps. Shoes with straps have a tendency to make the foot look larger. Stay with pumps and even pumps with an open toe with a bow. These will make your feet to appear smaller. If you don't want to wear heels, wear wedges. The higher, the smaller the foot will look.. My last thought for now is the lips. Women tend to have fuller lips than men. We must try to increase the width of our upper and lower lips. Don't go overboard. A little thickness goes a long way.

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Transgendered Conferences and Getaways Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be designed for and accepting of TGirls.

If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let me know at [email protected] Thanks! •January:

First Event http://www.tcne.org

•January:

TGSF Cotillion/Annual Debutante Ball San Francisco, CA http://www.tgsy.org/events/cotillion.html

•February:

Colorado Gold Rush http://www.gicofcolo.org/cgr/

•April:

Transgender Philadelphia, PA http”//transeventsusa.org/ifge/index.shtml

•April:

California Dreamin http://www.california-dreamin.org/

San Jose, CA

•April:

Diva Las Vegas http://www.geekbabe.com/div/

Las Vegas, NV

•April:

Eureka En-Femme Getaway Eureka Springs, AK http://www.femmegetaway.com/index.html

•May:

Esprit http://www.espritconf.com/index.php

Port Angeles, WA

•May:

Be-All http://www.be-all.org/

Chicago, IL

•June:

Sparkle http://www.sparkle.org.uk/

Manchester, UK

•September: Southern Comfort Conference http://www.scatl.org/

Eastern , MA

Denver, CO

Atlanta, GA

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Transgendered Conferences and Getaways Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be designed for and accepting of TGirls.

If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let me know at [email protected] Thanks! •October:

Defying Gravity Conference Louisville, KY http://www.transfamilydefyinggravity.net/programming.htm

•October:

Fantasia Fair http://www.fantasiafair.org

•October:

GLBTIQ Conference Worcester, MA http://www.transcendingboundaries.org/

Provincetown, MA

•November: Tri-Ess Holiday En-Femme http://geocities.com/tri_ess_ne/

Location Varies

•November: Lake Erie Gala http://www.eriesisters.org/

Erie, PA

•November: An Alluring Affair

Canada

http://www.alluringaffair.ca/ •November: Fall Harvest http://fallharvest.net/

Omaha, NE

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

Pretty TGirls Magazine – May 2009

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

http://www.spellcosmetics.com/Home_Page.html

Elle

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

EnFemme Boutique is a VERY CD and GLBT friendly Ebay store. Nan is the wife of a Transgendered person, and understands how difficult it can be for some to purchase items. She started this store for CD, TV, TS and TG’s that do not go shopping in public, need help with sizing, or finding certain items. It is a place where you can find items at reasonable prices and ask questions without worry. All listing are PRIVATE listings, so no one will see what you have purchased. Most are NEW With Tags and are 70 –90% OFF Retail Prices. This is Nan’s way of supporting her spouse Amy and the T-Community. http://stores.ebay.com/enfemme-boutique?refid=store

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

http://Glamourboutique.com The Glamour Boutique is a terrific TG store. The original retail location is in Auburn, MA and now has a Las Vegas retail locations! You can also order online. Can’t say enough about this lovely store! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!

http://Crazy4clipons.com Crazy 4 Clipons is a terrific online place to discreetly buy clip on earrings at a very reasonable price. They have a large variety to choose from and love to have TG customers! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!

http://www.FemmeFever.com FemmeFever : Karen has developed a wonderful site and TG resource! Along with coordinating many TG events in the lower NY area, she has a store full of shopping opportunities online.

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

We're a transgender (GLBT, TG) friendly boutique. Our store is located in Las Vegas, NV, USA, where Amy and her staff provide products and personalized services to help you become "The Person You Always Wanted To Be". The Just You Family have years of experience transforming men into beautiful women.

Amy: Amy was the manager of GB2 and is now the owner. She is a GG and a wonderful supporter of TG girls of all varieties. She has a wealth of experience with amateurs and professionals and is a tremendous talent with makeup. She is one those special angels sent to help us. I will ask her if she would like to write an article for a future magazine. Sheila: For my part I simply look after her website as the webmistress. Perhaps at some time I could also write an article (something I have done from time to time). I do want to say that you have done a wonderful job with the magazine and I look forward to reading the July issue.

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

Welcome to crazydaizys

I carry a large selection of Sexy Shoes & Boots, Costume Footwear, Lingerie, Hosiery, Leather for Men & Women, & more! Your 1 stop shop for all your Favorite things!! I have Storewide FREE! combined Shipping! Save @ Crazy Daizys! Dont see what you are looking for? Contact me! I am still in the process of stocking my store. Thank you for your patience!

http://www.crazydaizys.com/servlet/StoreFront

http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/hide.sleek/hs_menu.htm Hide and Sleek

is a wonderful online shop with 2 physical store locations in Scotland as well. Owned and run by Loraine (a gg) and also sponsors the Miss TV Scotland pageant every year.

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

Austin’s Angels … by Jamie Austin I can’t say enough really terrific things about Jamie. Simply put, he works wonders. Careful though, he has done such a wonderful job that several girls have seen how wonderfully beautiful they can be that they have become full time girls! Jamie offers several different makeover packages … well worth every penny girls !

http://www.austinsangels.com

http://www. countessascloset.com This is a fabulous place for GG’s and TGirls alike. Countessa is a GG, former model, and a terrific supporter of the Transgendered Community ! There is an online store and a physical location in Studio City, California. More to follow about this great Lady and her offerings.

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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

http://www.weaveofdreams.com

Weave of Dreams

is a terrific is a very new online TG store carrying many items for us TGirls.It is run by Carol Deanna. It is worth the visit !

AngelWings Designs by Mary Beth You really should checkout Mary Beth’s products. She hand sews everything and has lovely lingerie items and dresses, plus she is a doll and very supportive of us TGirls !

http://www.angelwingsdesigns.com

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