Dealing with the Inescapable Bully   

The Cyber Bully       

The Inescapable Bully—The Cyber Bully The traditional image of the bully has been one of a student who steals a fellow student’s lunch or enjoys displaying dominance over another student during recess. As an educator, these forms of bullying are easy to spot. With today’s technologically savvy generation of students, the roles of the bullies have morphed along with the technology they use. Students now steal online identities and can pick on one another at any hour of the day. The problem of bullying has expanded beyond the confines of the school premises. The effects of cyber bullying, however, can be seen inside the classroom. Thanks to technology, bullying has become a less obvious, more sophisticated form of harassment that can be much harder for adults to detect and can cause learning and emotional deficits that must be overcome by the educator and the student. The key to preventing cyber bullying, is to break down the barriers which hamper communications among members of the school community. In order to eliminate cyber bullying, the student, parents, and schools must work in harmony with one another. For example, often students are fearful that they will be seen as a snitch or tattletale if they tell adults about the bullying they are experiencing. Many times parents do not know the proper course of action to take if their child is being bullied. This is where schools may be able to help. Specifically, officials must foster an atmosphere that makes bullying difficult, if not impossible. Officials must also set up procedures for students and parents which make it easy for them to come in and discuss what students are experiencing at home and/or in school. This informational guide will help with the planning, support and recognition of cyber bullying.

What is cyber bullying? Cyber bullying occurs when: A minor is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another minor via use of the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. Cyber bullying is instigated by a minor against another minor. Internet abuse by adults is not considered cyber bullying. What are the characteristics of cyber bullying? • Requires some form of technology; • Often occurs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; • Does not require face-to-face contact resulting in anonymity of the bully; (This can result in the following unanswered questions by the person being bullied.) o Is the bully older or younger? o Is the bully a group or individual? o Is the bully a male or female? o Is the bully a friend or foe? o Is the bully in any of my classes? o Is the bully a stranger or familiar? • Can result in wide exposure and rapid circulation of a damaging message generated by the bully; • Bully can hide behind technology. What are the characteristics of bullied students? • • • • • • •

Typically quiet, cautious, sensitive, often easily moved to tears; Insecure, have little confidence, low self-esteem; Have few friends and are socially isolated; Afraid of being hurt; Anxious or depressed; Physically weaker than peers (more associated with boys); Find it easier to spend time with adults than peers; (Kowalski, Limber, and Agatston, 2008)

How can I recognize the warning signs of bullying? Students: • Come home with torn, damaged, or missing clothing, books, or personal belongings; • Have unexplained cuts, bruises, scratches; • Have few or no friends. • Refuse or are afraid to go to school, walking to or from school, riding the bus, or taking part in organized peer activities; • Take a long, illogical route when going to and from school; • Lose interest in schoolwork and begin to do poorly in school; • Appear sad, moody, teary or depressed; • Complain about stomach aches and headaches or other physical ailments; • Have trouble sleeping or have frequent bad dreams; • Appear anxious, have low self esteem. (Kowalski, Limber, and Agatston, 2008) What are the characteristics of a bully? Bullies: • Have dominant personality and are assertive; • Are temperamental, impulsive and easily frustrated; • Have positive view of violence, more so than other children; • Have difficulty following rules; • Appear to be tough, show little empathy or compassion to others; • Relate to adults in an aggressive manner. • Are good at talking themselves out of difficult situations; • Engage in deliberate aggression to accomplish a goal and defensive reaction to being provoked. (Kowalski, Limber, and Agatston, 2008)

Cyber bullying is a new development in the field of education. Given the differing means of communication, the changing of cultural norms, there are an infinite number of ways in which cyber bullying can occur. However the following information will give examples of the forms which cyber bullying may take and the challenges that many student victims may face. The breakdown of the threat: The form of the threat: • The communication includes lewd language; • The communication insults the child directly; • The communication threatens the child vaguely; • The communication threatens the child with bodily harm; • The communication contains a general serious threat; • The communication threatens the child with serious bodily harm or death. The frequency of the threats: • A one-time communication; • The communication is repeated in the same or different ways; • The communications are increasing; • Third-parties are joining in and communications are now being received from additional people. The source of the threats: • The child knows the perpetrator; • The child thinks they know the perpetrator; • The child does not know the perpetrator; • The messages appear to be from several different people. The nature of the threats: • Repeated e-mails or instant messages; • Following the child around online, into chat rooms, favorite Web sites, etc.; • Building fake profiles, Web sites or posing as a child sending e-mails or instant messages; • Planting statements to provoke third-party stalking and harassment; • Signing a child up for porn sites and e-mailing lists and junk e-mail and instant messages;

• Breaking into the victim’s accounts online; • Stealing or otherwise accessing the victim’s passwords; • Posting images of the child online (taken from any source, including video and photo phones); • Posting real or doctored sexual images of the child online; • Sharing personal information about the child; • Sharing intimate information about the child; • Sharing contact information about the child coupled with a sexual solicitation; • Reporting the child for real or fabricated terms of service violations; • Encouraging others to share their top ten “hit lists,” or ugly lists, or “slut lists” online and including the victim on that list; • Posting and encouraging others to post nasty comments on a child’s blog; • Hacking another child’s computer and sending that child damaging codes; • Sending threats to others (like the President of the United States) or attacking others while posing as another child; • Copying others on another child’s private e-mail and instant messages communications; • Posting bad reviews or feedback on another child without cause; • Registering another child’s name and setting up a bash Web site or profile; • Posting rude or provocative comments while posing as another child; • Sending spam or malware to others while posing as another child; • Breaking the rules of a Web site or service while posing as the victim; • Setting up a “vote for” site designed to embarrass or humiliate the victim; • Masquerading as the victim for any purpose; • Posting the victim’s text-messaging address or cell phone number online to encourage abuse and increase the child’s text-messaging or cell phone charges; • Launching a denial of service attack on the victim’s Web site. • Sending “jokes” about the victim to others or mailing lists. http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/lawenforcement/telling_the_difference.html

What are the keys to prevention? • • • • • • • • • •

Focus on school environment. Assess bullying at your school. Garner staff and parent support for bullying prevention. Form a group to coordinate the schools bullying prevention activities. Train school staff in bullying prevention. Establish and enforce school rules and policies related to bullying. Increase adult supervision in places where bullying occurs. Focus some class time on bullying prevention. Intervene consistently and appropriately in bullying situations. Continue these efforts over time. (Kowalski, Limber, and Agatston, 2008)

What are some tips to give to students in order to protect themselves? • Never give out personal information, passwords, usernames, etc. • Never give out access information that can lead to your internet identity being stolen or used by someone other than you. • Never give your contact information to a person or group that you do not know or which may be untrustworthy. (I.e. AIM name, facebook name, or MySpace page) • Limit your profiles on personal sharing sites; this will limit a bully’s ability to find you as well as limit the ability for non-friends to search you out. • Always save your conversations with others; you can refer back to them in case a comment is taken out of context or you may need to report a bullying act. Give a print out of the relevant messages to a trusted adult and ask for help if bullying is occurring. • Report incidents to the website in which the offense occurred. • If the incident involves a threat or harmful activity, notify an adult, police, schools and friends. (If you are the parent, talk to your child and their friends’ parents.)

How can I advise parents? • Talk with and listen to your kids - everyday. If your children feel comfortable talking to you before they’re involved in a bullying event, they’re more likely to talk to you after. • Spend time at school and recess. Sixty-seven percent of bullying happens when adults are not present. You can make a real difference by volunteering on campus. • Be a good example of kindness and leadership. Any time you speak to another person in a mean or abusive way, you’re teaching your child that bullying is ok. • Learn the signs. Learn to recognize possible signs of being victimized and, if you suspect that a child might be bullied, talk directly to your child about the situation. • Create healthy anti-bullying habits early. As early as kindergarten it will help to role play what to do (and what not to do) in bullying situations with your child. • Help your child’s school address bullying effectively. Whether your children have been bullied or not, you should learn about what their school is doing to address bullying. • Establish household rules about bullying. Your children need to know your expectations of how they treat others and how others treat them. • Teach your child how to be a good witness. Although it’s never a child’s responsibility to put himself or herself in danger, kids can often effectively diffuse a bullying situation. • Teach your child about cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is as harmful as physical violence and must not be tolerated. • Spread the word that bullying should NOT be a “normal part of childhood”. All forms of bullying are harmful to the perpetrator, the victim and witnesses. www.education.com What are the main topics I should cover in a cyber bullying seminar for teachers or parents? • • • • •

Educate on proper online netiquette; Guidelines for Internet safety; Definition of cyber bullying; Examples of cyber bullying; How to report cyber bullying in the schools;

• Tips on how to respond to cyber bullying. (I.e. blocking, banning, ignoring or warning); • Safe usage of social networking sites and how to report abuses; • When to notify the police; • Parental liability for youth online behavior; • Resources and whom to contact when cyber bullying occurs. (Kowalski, Limber, and Agatston, 2008) Types of Bullying: • Physical bullying; hitting, punching, kicking and other types of physical harm. This also includes destruction of property. • Verbal bullying; teasing, name calling, taunting and racial slurs. This also includes the spreading of gossip and malicious rumors. • Cyber bullying; harassing emails, instant messages, pictures, text messages. This also includes threatening websites, blogs, or social networking websites. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bullying/MH00126

Great Resources for Students, Parents, and Schools: http://www.cyberbullying.us/ http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/ http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying?gclid=CIrAqMHW65oCFQVaFQodAxzPAw http://www.mcgruff.org/Advice/cyberbullies.php Works Cited: Kowalski, R, Limber, S, & Agatston, P (2008). Cyber Bullying. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.

©PSEA, 2009