Children of Famous Parents: An Exploratory Study

World Academy of Science, Engineering and Technology 47 2008 Children of Famous Parents: An Exploratory Study Surabhika Maheshwari media, makes idol...
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World Academy of Science, Engineering and Technology 47 2008

Children of Famous Parents: An Exploratory Study Surabhika Maheshwari

media, makes idols or devils of them, usually alternately. They are put on and pulled off pedestals with unsurprising regularity. The extent to which famous people live ordinary lives on a large screen is evidenced by the way people devour every piece of gossip they can get about people of achievement or notoriety. The fame can come about by personal achievement or by association, such as marriage, luck, or accident. [1] Fame could be understood as having repute and popularity, being renown among one’s own people and others, enjoying a social standing and distinguished from notoriety. The more “known” a person is across social, political, occupational and structural boundaries the more famous they are. This description is by no means “non-relative,” but attempts to provide a clearer picture of “famous.” Fame could be understood to have grading and as being varied. One can be more or less famous; also at certain places or time one can be more famous than at other places or times, where someone else could be more famous. Fame like most other things and much like reality is not static. Its ever-changing, dynamic, reactive, transient..

Abstract—The present study is aimed as an exploration into the worlds of children of famous parents; their lives, their struggles, the understanding of their privileges and their experiences. This is not to draw conclusive answers or generalizations; neither is it to blame or glorify celebrity parenting or the lives of their children. The research is an attempt at understanding their worlds and their lives. The study delves into the lives of children of famous parents employing an exploratory open-ended life history interview. The aim being to capture the experience of having a celebrity parent; of having to in some obvious or subtle ways, live in the shadow (or too bright light)! This research attempts to give space to the rich experiences, to understand the private conflicts and confusions.

Keywords—Children, Famous, Identity, Qualitative. I. INTRODUCTION

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N my association with the subject of psychology I frequently came across psychological research and literature dealing with and explaining the psychological impacts and concerns of deprivation – specially social and monetary. I would wonder about the influence of an ‘overload’ and its emotional consequences. In addition to this, there has also been an independent interest in the subject matter of the present study; the picture that met the eye did not seem complete. I wanted to look deeper – into the lives of children of famous parents – their worlds and their dreams, the insecurities behind all the securities, the silence in all the rustle, the pain behind the smile, the “normalcy” behind the hype, …all this and vice-versa. Before embarking on the study, clarity with respect to the meaning of famous along with the associated psychological processes seemed necessary. Fame, a much frequently used word, is just as hard to define. The Cambridge International Dictionary of English defines it as “the state of being well known.” And famous is the adjective for the well known. In the social sciences this definition is not complete. What constitutes well known? Known by whom? To what extent? Thus the complexity of defining a commonly understood term increases. In Clarkson’s view (2002):

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. Emily Dicksons [2]

Fame has a spatial, temporal and societal component to it. It cannot be viewed divorced from any of these parameters. Another important thing to be pointed out is that fame has an association with occupations. Some professions, by their nature, make a professional famous. Such professions usually need an audience and have an intimate relationship with the media. For example actors, pop-stars, politicians, sportsmen are all naturally well known, owing to their profession. These are “public professions.” Individual popularity also depends on the popularity of the profession. A cricketer in India would be more famous than a basketball player; and its vice-versa in United States of America. Doctors, teachers, writers, classical singers and dancers, painters, lawyers also interact and dependent on “audiences” (or public), their popularity depends on the public knowledge and interest in the medium and also to a certain extent their success. But a word of caution here, success and fame should not be confused. Though these might overlap in certain areas, they are definitely not the same things. Fame, at times, might be understood as a by-product of success and at times even is a yardstick to measure success. Success is not always accompanied by fame, and the vice-versa is true as well.

Famous people are those individuals who become idealized or demonized by the group, the organization, or the society. The public, including the Surabhika Maheshwari, Lecturer (Psychology), is with University of Delhi, Indraprastha College, 31 Shamnath Marg, Delhi – 110054, India (e-mail: [email protected]).

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An individual could get fame as a family legacy, arguably one of the easiest to get and most difficult to deal with. Being famous comes as a way of life. Some are born into families who for generations have lived in the public eye. Some witness their parents’ journey into fame and adulation. Each of these children who are so different, have a similarity – of having a surname larger than their name, of being recognized almost by everyone (including friends and teachers) as so and so’s child. It is pertinent here to look at what drives people to fame, and how adulation and popularity fill some voids. According to Tyler Cowen [3] the desire to be famous is a very common one. Cowen believes fame is one of the strongest possible motivations to do well in your chosen field because “marketproduced praise sparks creativity and achievement.” To be famous is among the basic human ambitions, of course, an all but universal fantasy. In some personalities, the need for attention is darker and more retrogate: neurotic, infantile, a sort of baby’s unappeasable love craving, a raw, screaming hunger. Many writers about narcissism (e.g. Kohut [4], Morrison [5]) have suggested that narcissism (or grandiosity) is essentially a defense against shame -- with shame defined as a sense that the self is deeply flawed or deficient. To feel shame is to experience the self as small, week, insignificant, powerless and defective. It is the experience of self as not good enough. When a parent’s feelings of self-worth depend on the accomplishments of a child, this reinforces the child’s belief that only its exceptional abilities can be relied on to secure the love of someone important to its survival. But at the same time it affirms that those talents are a powerful asset in the quest for connection with others. Such a “gifted” child has had the experience of being important to the one whose love it needs the most. The grandiosity behind the extraordinary performances in any field grows out of this early experience of having felt very special to a parent or another primary caretaker. The question of parental and environmental influences on “giftedness,” child prodigies and the extra ordinary achievements in adult life has sparked some psychological research. Child prodigies raise interesting questions about the ways in which childhood experiences contribute to adult achievements. Biographical accounts by prodigies themselves provide interesting insights (Howe, 1999) [6]. They show that most child prodigies devote a substantial amount of time to the learning and studying, that some prodigies experience serious problems which appear to be related to their unusual early lives, and that very few prodigies emerge in families that do not provide good opportunities to learn. The popular view of talent acknowledges that instruction and practice are necessary but not sufficient for the attainment of elite performance. Recent research shows that improvements in performance are possible even after extensive experience in the domain. Thus the need for fame and its achievement is related to various developmental, parental, societal and personal arenas. Some theorists have also argued the potential relationship between the “need of the hour” and the “great man.” The

character and journey of and to fame is marked by both intrinsic and extrinsic influences. The famous are inducted in the glare of the public eye. Famous people are constantly being observed and scrutinized. These lives are often lived in the glare of a media spotlight. The loss of privacy is one of the worst downsides of fame. Everything that the celebrities do is photographed and commented upon. Many celebrities have expressed their anger with the lack of privacy and constant attention that accompanies their public status. Stalkers and obsessed fans are another occupational hazard in the fame game. This public recognition and exposure deceive people into an illusion of intimacy with the famous. The public as if “owns” the public figures. They comment, discuss, and are affected by the behaviours and actions of their “heroes.” It is often noticed that people form “relations” with fictional characters, actors or other media figures. This might at times lead to identification. Feilitzev and Linne (1975) distinguished between similarity identification, where the viewer identifies with a character because they share certain salient characteristics, and wishful identification, where the viewer desires to emulate the character [ 7]. Celebrities are often placed on a “higher” platform. This stage promotes both – the constant observation and idolization. Celebrities are what we have instead of gods and goddesses (Marrow, 1997)[8]. The psychoanalyst W.R.D. Fairbairn was the first to describe how this process begins in childhood. Every child needs to maintain an exaggerated belief in the competence and benevolence of his parents. In adulthood we idealize the famous as a way of sustaining the belief. The purpose of setting up figures that seem superpowerful, infinitely kind, and larger than life itself, is to make us feel safe (Becker, in Bloland, 1999)[9]. This idolization by the public rubs off on the famous. The famous try to maintain their larger than real “public image.” Often at the cost of denying whom they really are. Superficiality and masks become demi-realities. And sometimes these illusions may be confused with reality. In Sue Erickson Bloland’s (1999) observation in the relationship between the public image of a famous person and the private human being there is inherently something profoundly paradoxical [10]. A famous comedian says, “Sometimes I think the reason why I am funny is because on a certain level I don’t think anything’s funny at all”. The public image reflects what the private person longs to be. It represents an ideal self. Public applause and admiration are intoxicating while they last. More than that, they are addictive, creating an appetite for the heightened feelings of acceptance that comes with being adored and revered. Fame is the delicious toxic that addicts even the troubled famous. The troubled develop a virtually sadomasochistic, I-hate-it/ I-need-it dependency on fame. When the applause is over the sense of isolation can be more acute because of its contrast with that exhilarating moment when one felt like the center of the universe. An old quote from Tacitus states: “Love for fame is the last thing even learned men can bear to be parted from.” The famous live with the constant, terrifying possibility that their special gifts or their celebrity will vanish.

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Quite often, the pressure of fame is so great that celebrities turn to alcohol, drugs, sexual promiscuity and even suicide to escape it. Anecdotal sources (e.g. magazines, newspapers, television, internet) regularly report stories of addiction and suicide in famous people. (It must be kept in mind that these sources deal usually with the “famous people”). More serious sources (Ludwig, 1995) indicate that among eminent people, 26 percent experience alcohol related problems during their life-times compared to 14 percent in general population; also, the rate of suicide for famous people is 4.4 percent compared to 1.0 percent for non-famous individuals [11]. Schaller (1997) drew attention to self-awareness [12]. Famous people are constantly being observed and scrutinized by others; as a result, they very frequently become the objects of their own attention. Fame can be seen as a situational factor inducing chronic self-awareness. In a state of self-awareness a person will actively look at and examine any self-aspect that is more salient at the moment (Buss, 1980) [13]. Self-awareness theory (Duval & Wicklund, 1972) suggests that high levels of self-focus are usually painful [14]. Fame-induced selfawareness is likely to be more intense and more dangerous coping strategies may be initiated. Temporary self-awareness may focus one’s attention on specific aspects of the self, but famous people are presumably in a permanent state of selfawareness. It seems plausible that chronic self-awareness will lead to a more global evaluation of one’s self-worth (Gibbons, 1990) [15]. However, if comparisons between the real and ideal self lead to positive feeling (positive self- esteem), the chronic self focus only enhances one’s view of oneself. This might explain why some celebrities may not find chronic selffocus to be painful and may not need to escape from the self through alcohol or drug abuse. Fame has style, glamour, money, recognition, attention, adulation, and power. What is it like to be born to someone who has all this? What is it like being the child of a famous person? “How lucky” could be the first response. But a closer look could perhaps change it, perhaps add something to it. The upswings are many -- all the attention: The easy and early opportunities. There are numerous examples of children of famous parents getting an easy, almost ready stage to showcase their talent. It’s believed that a Bollywood lineage is a passport to easy acceptance into the film-world. In India, the family lineage matters and plays an important role in almost all professions and spheres. Historically, almost everything was a matter of inheritance -- wealth, profession, assets and liabilities. These children get as a birth right what most set as aims. The privileges are many, and this is often accompanied with a sense of proving oneself worthy of them. It does have another side to it. The families of the famous are preyed upon. The predations celebrities fear most is intrusions into the lives of their children. The privacy of the family crumbles and this is not easy for the not-famous members of the family. Sonia Gandhi [16] captures her emotion and first reactions on being the daughter-in-law of India’s first political family, she writes“Everything around me was new and strange…Strongest of all were people’s eyes – the gaze of curiosity which followed me everywhere. It was an exasperating experience – the total lack of privacy, the compulsion to

constantly check myself and repress my feelings…I was a new member of a family which had for years lived in the public eye. Everything they did and said, and everything they didn’t say or didn’t do, was analyzed and judged. How was it possible to live like this.” The children of the famous get immense attention – from media, from visitors and from the numerous “well-wishers” and fans of their parents. Their joys and their sorrows – all are of public interest and most are covered by the media. The child can look at himself or herself as a baby, or as a toddler, or when first going to school; because there are usually many photographs that commemorate moments or events in their life. These that are a part of the “family albums” for most have usually done their rounds with the leading dailies or magazines. The most private moments are captured by the press – an evening out with family, a funeral, and a birth – all of it. Says Carrie Fisher [17], Hollywood actress Debbie Reynolds’ daughter – “I had an excessively public childhood, when I was less than a month old I was already featured in the press …and it hasn’t really stopped ever since.” With all this popularity and attention, wholesome and everpresent – the children of the famous, just like their parents, run a risk of getting addicted to it or taking it for granted. They could often take the fame of their parents as their own. It is true that people live more comfortably with fame when they are confident that it is something they have earned by their own merit and hard work over a period of time. Children idolize their parents often denying their own perceptions of reality (Fairbairn) [18]. Children of famous parents may soon begin to learn that their parent is an idol for many. This could lead to a exaggeration of the child’s idolization of the parent, or could lead the child to confusion regarding the discrepancy of the public and private image. As Sue Erickson [19] observeswhat made it especially disappointing and confusing was that dad’s fame – particularly his idolized image as a father figure – engendered fantasies in both of us: he should be the perfect father, and I should be the ideal daughter that one would expect a perfect father to have. Being the child of the famous can be especially hard, in part because of the danger that the child cannot live up to the parent’s public success, and only a modest success seems a drastic falling off. The inevitable comparisons, usually with a legend in the field are unfair for anyone. In the presence of a towering personality the understanding and establishing a sense of self and identity becomes an uphill task. The offspring of the famous are identified by their lineage almost every time and everywhere. The aura of one’s parent is ever present and if the parent is a public figure this aura can be larger and more encompassing. Whether following their parents’ footsteps or diverging into their own paths they carry with them the legacy of their parents’ name. The children are unable to step out of it. And they have to do their bit in the maintenance of the public image and the aura. This could either be understood as a shadow or too bright light where it becomes difficult to see oneself. The sense of self and identify become pressing concerns.

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Keeping in mind the concerns of the present study and some theoretical concepts a qualitative paradigm was found to be most appropriate. The qualitative research allows the space to both the researcher and the participant to explore, share, understand and reflect upon the various concerns and questions. Qualitative research is an attempt to capture the sense that lies within the reality constructed by participants. The intention behind choosing a qualitative method was to understand peoples’ participation in the social world and thus engage in a close introspection of how that world is perceived through the eyes of the participants, from their perspectives and therefore seeking the participants “insider” knowledge. The method for the study aims at presenting appropriate and sensitive understandings of the lives of children of famous parents. Each participant is distinct and no generalizations and structures are imposed. This has been kept in mind during interaction, analysis and interpretation.

interviews were recorded verbatim with the help of a Dictaphone. III. DESIGN The present study is primarily exploratory in nature. There are various texts and experiences to guide the research but the researcher did not have pre-conceived hypothesis or structures to bind the research into. A. Procedure The approach to this research is purely qualitative. No surveys were conducted and no statistical methods used. The participants were contacted personally by the researcher on the phone. After a brief introduction to the study an appointment was fixed with their consent and at their convenience. The interaction was limited to one meeting due to various practical constraints. Informed consent was taken from the participants for the conduction and recording of the interview. The interactions could take their own shape – the interviews started with the researcher asking the participants to share whatever they felt like. Questions and probes evolved with the interactions.

II. METHOD A. Participants The participants of the study are children of famous parents. Their age range from 15 to 30 years. There are a total of 12 participant interactions, including two pairs of siblings (counted as a single interaction each). The researcher found the interview subjects through a network of friends and acquaintances, relying on phone calls and word of month. The research was confined to this age range to facilitate the observation and sharing of the processes of understanding and establishment of self and identity. All the participants are residents of Delhi. (Some of them travel extensively or are studying abroad).

B. Research Settings A comfortable and familiar setting for the participants was preferred. Also one with minimal distractions was aimed at. C. Data and Analysis Data were gathered by interview and observation. Each interview was transcribed and studied in detail. The individual lives and brief personal histories were recorded for better understanding. Thematic analysis was utilized for the analysis and understanding of the obtained data. Data were analyzed on the basis of researcher’s understanding and experiences, the theoretical grounding, and similar previous research. Similar data were grouped and given conceptual labels. Themes were arrived at after the conceptualization of the data. Data analysis was not followed simultaneously with data collection but followed soon after. Theoretical understandings and reflection are presented on basis of emerging themes.

B. Measures Open-ended interview was the chosen tool for the research to provide for a greater breadth of data. Such interviews create a space to enter the psychological and social worlds of the participants, allowing them to share their personal experiences without a constraint of fitting them into a rigid paradigm. This method was chosen for its flexibility in accommodating a large spectrum of responses, thus maintaining the richness of the narratives and the themes emerging from interaction. A probe-list based on the initial questions of the researcher was prepared. This was done with the aim covering as many concerns as possible. At various times the interview took a “informal conversational style.” No predetermined questions were asked, in order to remain as open and adaptable as possible to the interviewee's nature and priorities; during the interview, the interviewer "went with the flow." The researcher played the role of a listener, asking some clarifications or elaboration wherever required. The researcher also kept in mind the need to keep the content of interaction as relevant as possible to the concerns of the present study. An effort was made to pick up and remember relevant non-verbal cues. The interaction was emergent – the response of the participant guided the direction and influenced the next. The

IV. EMERGING THEMES The data collected were in the forms of recorded interactions with the participants. The interviews were transcribed, read and re-read a number of times, before an understanding of common themes could be evolved. The first extraction of themes went into a long list. After a process of grouping and re-grouping the following themes were arrived at. Further alterations and re-grouping is still a possibility, depending upon the apertures and angles from which the data are viewed. The themes do not represent the entire data. In fact this report is an effort to organize parts of data in a way to derive meaning and understanding. As Mary Anne Pitman (1992) insisted, “Data are already theory” [20]. The descriptive aspects of an account might better be regarded as implicit analysis or implicit interpretation.

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The terms used are specific to the current context and are in no way reflecting a definitional component. These are used in regard and respect to the obtained data and are not an attempt at generalization. Many similar themes have been omitted due to various reasons – such as limitation of understanding, paucity of elaboration, or for being out of scope of the current research.

(participant 1) later complained, “I am not even free to be who I want to be in a famous way, because it has to be connected with who he is.” Here there is a kind of individuality coming up as well. A personal expression being curtailed by the presence of the larger figure. Fame as according to her “might as well be enjoyed, since you are already giving up so much.” The “others” – the public, as it does in fitting pieces together, adds and subtracts information and expectations as and when convenient, “conceptions that other people are always putting on me.” (Participant 1). She was very prompt about this, in fact this concern was voiced towards the beginning of the interview. Other participants cited their impressions of people’s conceptions of them. Participant 2 said, “I am ---.’s son…so people started to think ‘he is so arrogant, look at the way he talks..’ that shouldn’t be there.” Participant 13 shared similar experience, “…she’s too snooty, she thinks too much of herself, because she is a cricketer’s daughter…people think I am snooty, I don’t know why.” Almost all the participants voiced the pressure on and expectations from them. Most of these verbalizations were easy to come by, some even at the very beginning of the interaction. Participant 2 got to this as soon as the interview started, “(people keep saying)..you have to play for your country like you dad did,..be better than him…people started putting pressure.” He added, “..pressure is always going to be there, I cannot do anything about it.” Elaborating on this he said “I am supposed to perform, I have to perform…I go there and think I have to do well, I HAVE to do well..” People often consider these children to have-it-all. Participant 1 shared this, “ (people thought)..I was the kid who had everything together, everything sorted, no worries about what you are going to do with your life and that’s how everybody looked at me….” Contrasting it with reality, she said, “the fact (is) I did worry.” “As people come to know who my parents are and they change….people start sucking up to you. People who bitch about you suddenly start liking you,” shared Participant 10. Being related to a celebrity commands a certain respect and aura. People tend to modify their own behaviours in order to impress, or in an attempt to gain certain favors. Children become easy links. And the children can most often “tell” a façade form actual warmth and appreciation. “You really know what they want...they get down to it.” (Participant 4). An ‘intuitive’ and sensitive young girl (Participant 10) added, “You just know where something is coming from…I can cut through the bone and see what they really want.” Expressed Participant 2, “..a week or two left before the game..all of them would gather around me and suddenly become more friendly. I can tell what people want.” Participant 13 voiced emotionally, “people would keep asking for favors thinking we are their own property.” Note here, there is also an expression of the phenomena of perceived “intimacy with the famous.” These children are, by virtue of their birth, exposed to this “we-know-you” category of people. This can be seen in Participant 3’s experience, “…people (you don’t really know) coming and expressing their love for you and telling you how they’ve known your family for a long time.”

A. Social Expectations, Pressures, and Image Many of the participants expressed being affected by the social popularity and standing of their parents in varied ways. Being a child of a celebrity, a successful person seemed to have brought with it an attached expectation and pressure, to be as good as the parent, to live up to the public image, to behave and act in a particular manner, to keep certain things a secret… “…celebrities are caught up in this image thing, they dress a part, they play a part…to a ridiculous extent.” (Participant no.1 comparing herself with the “image” other celebrities portray) There is a certain image that is supposed to be lived up to. For participant no. 1 a sharing on these accounts took a while to build up, but when she became comfortable with the interaction she shared openly her experiences of the societal image. “..I am famous in connection to my parents; it makes it a little more complicated…. (Have to keep my boyfriend a secret, hide my drink) I have to take care because all this will ruin my father’s very clean image.” She goes on to add later, “I have shocked people enough just by doing, to me, normal things.” Being careful about her father’s image, a young girl (Participant 13) shared, “We have it in our mind that our father has a reputation in the market…people would pinpoint us and say ‘oh! ---.’s daughters.’ We have to be careful that our dad’s name is not spoilt.” Another participant (Participant 2) voiced the same feeling in a different way, “I know people and people know me, I have to be a bit more careful.” Here, the use of ‘I,’ a sense of personal causality is to be noted. He later added, “You’ve a name behind you which you have to take care of.” Echoing a similar experience a young man (Participant 3) commented, “There is a whole image that you are supposed to have and you shouldn’t be actively destroying that.” There is a certain kind of “rule” being laid and followed here. The use of “should” and “active” destruction are as if pointing to a implicit understanding. (This was voiced by the participant elsewhere in the interview too.) With the image come certain restrictions and a decorum that is to be maintained. Having famous parents, the usual freedom of the young life gets somewhat curtailed, or is expressed only privately. These children might also ‘learn’ the tricks of manipulation to keep up the image. Participant 1 disclosed, “It encourages you to be a little fake, when you are in the public eye.” Though this kind of freedom isn’t absolute, she

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Participant 13 shared, “…I have always listened to him…if my father said ‘I don’t want this happening,’ I am cool with it. I have never argued.” She later added, “..He (my father) has certain principles in life which he doesn’t want anyone to disobey…me and my sister understand that.” Parental opinion matters a lot, and an intimacy and awe lead the children to respect the opinion, often to an extreme of blind faith. On the other hand the situation can be just the opposite. Participant 2 shared, “. ..he’s got the confidence in me that I’ve got something in me to do, that’s why he is putting his effort in me otherwise he’s that kind of a man – if he sees that someone doesn’t have it in him, he doesn’t waste time.” A feeling of security and self-assurance is maintained. “(My mom)..pesters…you have to do well…you have to be better than your dad….my dad is quite happy with me right now, knows that I am working hard, so that’s fine, I am satisfied.” Here there is also a kind of identification with the father. Sometimes the medium of fame acts as the medium of parent-child bonding. “ (---) drew me to him…it meant a lot to him…it gave us a bond.” This bonding can sometimes be felt as pressure, “…my parents have always been pushing me to practice, ‘have you practiced yet,’ ‘how long did you practice’.”

B. Parental Absenteeism By virtue of their professions and popularity the celebrities have social responsibilities and commitments along with professional involvement and constraints. As a result, the time with the family may shrink. Children of most celebrities spoke about the busy schedules of their parents and the limited time they get to spend together. It is for them a way of life, may be not always a complaint. Participant 3 voiced these concerns with considerable elaboration, “I did not get active parenting…he wasn’t aware of most of the things I was going through when I was growing up.” On how differently he’d bring up his own children, he said “ I’ll spend more time with my children…I think that is most important. I’ll sit down with my children and discuss…that hasn’t really happened with me.” A part of it he attributed to his father’s profession, “he listens to people all day, so when he comes home he isn’t a great listener…Dad’s always thinking, it’s very difficult to break through that.” Another young boy (Participant 4) expressed a similar concern, along with it an acceptance, “(if my mom weren’t famous) she’d be less busy and I could spend more time with her. She’s busy…she’s doing what she has to do and I’m doing what I’m doing…its ok.”. At different times during the interaction Participant 13 said, “He travels a lot…out of 365 days 100 days he is out of town.” Referring to her childhood days she said, “dad would be in England and we here…when me and my sister were born he wasn’t home.” Participants 2, 9 and 10, whose parents are in the same profession, also shared similar experiences. Participant 14 said, “I spent most of my childhood with my grandmother, my parents were too busy to look after the children.” During the interaction at various points she expressed that her parents were ‘often than not pressed for time.’ Participant 11 expressed that he had ‘got used to being without parents around.’ Travels, appointments, social duties and parties are a regular routine with most celebrities.

D. Individuality, Identity and Ambiguity In the presence of a towering personality the understanding and establishing a sense of self and identity become an uphill task. The offspring of the famous are identified by their lineage almost every time and everywhere. The aura of ones parent is ever present and if the parent is a public figure this aura can be larger and more encompassing. “People see you first like ‘that.’ You always carry the baggage – they do not see you as you,” (Participant 12). Whether following their parents’ footsteps or diverging into their own paths they carry with them the legacy of their parents’ name. Most narratives contain expressions of the need to establish one’s own identity, the struggle with it and the ambiguity and confusion that surround it. “I have done enough to be known as myself,” Expressed Participant 7 Participant 2 too articulated this aspect: “..I want to have an identity of my own, I can’t always be in my father’s shadow. I want to be on my own.” There is an urge to step out of the “shadow.” “I want to be known as N. (names himself), right now I am known as --.’s son.” The presence of the parent as a ‘personality’ colours almost all aspects of one’s life. “Having famous parents hasn’t helped me in the personal front, because one wanted to make one’s own identity,” shared Participant 8. Highlighting the ‘I’ become important. “I believe: I am who I am.” (Participant 4). Another young girl (Participant 13) expressed a similar concern. “I have an identity of my own and I would not like that because of my dad’s name I should get somewhere or I should not get somewhere.” Here, the two sides, rather than only the advantage, are made clear. The same participant further added, “..(Dad’s name)...it does have some bad effects. …These days pull and push matters a lot, people do tend to side you out because you are a celebrity’s daughter.” But on

C. Looming Parental Image, Parental Pressure and Approval Children idolize their parents often denying their own perceptions of reality (Fairbairn). Children of famous parents may soon begin to learn that their parent is an idol for many. This could lead to an exaggeration of the child’s idolization of the parent. The following is an attempt to capture the parental image as expressed by their children: Participant 1 described her father as, “huge…legend, everyone loves him.” Participant 13 elaborating on a similar theme said, “..everyone respects him....from the cameraman to the make-up artist.” She added, “in every conversation I have with my friends I tend to add in my mom or my dad….they have experienced what's happening with life.” Participant 2 and 3 shared their feelings of awe Participant 2 said, “I too am in awe of him.”. Echoing a similar feeling Participant 3 said, “With dad you have that level of awe….you can’t talk.”

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the other side she stated, “I am lucky to have my dad…its too corrupt out there.” Participant 2 too looked at some disadvantages of a known name. “People try and take out his anger on me.” Craving for his own space he added, “I can either be better than him or I can be worse, but I can’t be him, I am a different human being.” Ambiguity sets in, personal success gets coloured and a sense of “self-achievement is difficult” (Participant 5). Shared Participant 1, “…awards, big concerts, …all that is because of him, …people wouldn’t even know me if I weren’t his daughter…that confuses me sometimes.” A similar experience was voiced by Participants 5 and 6: “ Sometimes you think what part of all this is because of you, is it all because of your parents or do you have a role to play.” They added, “ you are confused…is it yours or your parents’, is it because you are good, or because you are so and so’s daughter.” With this confusion comes the burden of coping and dealing with it: “Sometimes you do feel that if people are coming for you or for them...but then you deal with it,” (Participant 8). Sometimes it would be an acceptance as a reflected glory, as expressed by Participant 4: “Our band was mentioned (in the newspaper) and only my name was mentioned…son of --. I know that is not because of me.” At other times the self and identity need to be seen and expressed. The same Participant said, “May be this is because the band was good.” This was closer to being his own achievement. “Everybody knew me in school, not only because of dad but also because I was a nice guy.” (Participant 3). Participant 5 and 6 added, “I have to keep telling myself that it is because I am good.” On a similar concern, Participant 8 questioned, “You think people will spend two lakh on you because your mother is an actress?” A separation may sometimes be sought, as shared by Participant 1: “--- meant a lot to me, because it was kind of separate from him, ..I wanted to do it just for myself…it was just me. It was nice (because) they didn’t give a shit to who I was…they liked me as a person. …. That was epiphany to me, I was successful, they didn’t care who you are.”

a lot of people you don’t really know…coming up to you,” (Participant 3). An invasion of privacy has been a common concern. Expressing it in the fewest words possible, Participant 2 said, “People talk.” As expressed by Participant 1, “…your basic right to privacy gets taken away, ….going into who you are and analyzing you…that’s f****** personal.” She added, “the smallest things could be in the papers,….pretty horrible that I have to worry about things like that.” The most private things become the ones that are most sought after news by the media. The simplest things can become a pain, like going anywhere where one’s parents would be recognized....and mobbed. Shared Participant 4, “People tend to mob my mother…whenever I go shopping with my mom…people are there for photographs and autographs…it gets a little irritating.” Most participants complained about feeling that everything they did or said was judged. Along with this there is also a kind of involvement with fame, of a kind that one is driven to seek it – at times for the sake of fame, at others to prove oneself to oneself or to the world or even to “uphold” the “name.” Participant 1 confessed, “Since I am used to the fame, I’d miss it.” Another young girl, Participant 7, shared, “I am more into glamour, this is something that interests me – fame, popularity, that’s what I really want.” These are perhaps the routes to addiction, most of them finding a way to stay “famous,” Participant 2 articulated, “ I am quite in to showbiz, if I do not make it here, I’ll try Hollywood.” This is also closely related to the need to assert one’s identity. Participant 13 expressed her attraction and desire to become and remain famous, “when I was born it was all hyped up…it feels really cool…you are different from others. You get all the attention. Being somebody famous’ kid. Its fun.” She went on to add, “…I would also feel good if I became somebody big and famous…successful….nobody would mind getting famous, you get so much attention …its fun.” One almost starts expecting a kind of attention. “It feels weird (when people don’t recognize you) and that feels weird,” (Participant 1). The motivations and reasons for following a particular career path are not just interest. Fame, adulation, money and appreciation play an important role. Articulated Participant 5: “I have always wanted to be on stage…it’s the appreciation you get… that is the thrill.” Participant 6 added, “It’s the ovation that is wonderful.” Participant 1 shared her reasons for sticking on to the choice: “money…fame…travel…giving up all that is difficult.” Another young boy (Participant 2) said, “I am trying my level best to be someone…success means a lot.” Clearly it is not just success, it is also being someone. Participants 3, 11, 13 and 8 expressed the ‘attractiveness’ of career options depended a lot on the money and “success.” Some participants display a certain kind of competitiveness and aggression in trying to reach to their goals; their motivations come from the drive to be the best. As put forth by Participant 1, “I don’t even want to do this if I am not right at the top.” Participant 2 left a particular stream of studies because of a single defeat he faced. He could not come to terms with not being the “best.” He confessed, “He beat me. I

A similar concern was expressed by Participant 4, “I am me and they are they…and that’s why I don’t want to do ---.” At another point he also added, “I have wanted my mom for our –performances…but then not really…I tell her ‘people will be looking at you, no one will be hearing us.” Most participants expressed wanting to keep their “parental affiliation” a secret many times. The personal onus of success goes away the moment people come to know that you belong to an “influential” parent. E. Public Childhoods and Desire for Recognition “A lot of your privacy and your freedom gets taken away,” said Participant 12. Fame brings with it the attention of people and media. Privacy is hampered, and one’s entire life appears to be lived in a public domain. In most of the interactions the children of the famous expressed being affected by the fame and popularity of their parents. “Growing up has always been

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was so angry that I gave it up…I cant see myself being beaten like this …I am a very very poor looser.” Participant 8 too shared this view: “I do not take defeat easily.” A similar emotion was shared by Participants 5 and 6: “When it comes to dance I have to be the best….if someone else is doing better I get really jealous…I have to then do better than her.” Participant 7 acknowledged, “Somebody’s success really irritates me, …I always want to compete…I always want to be better.” Participants 9 and 10 also shared a similar feeling. It is as if fame has two sides to it, a kind of love-hate relationship.

participants who have expressed this concern most forcefully (participants 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 13) belonged to the age group 1823, the stage where identity confusion (this is with regard to the Indian youth) is most pronounced. The researcher’s own age and sensitivity might have also been an influence. With regard to the expression of the need to establish one’s own identity, an interesting pattern immerged in the accounts of the participants. A closer look at the data and analysis sees the emergence of a group of participants who are most concerned about being known as ‘them’. Interestingly all, except three, are in the same professional fields as their parents.

F. Ready Platform, Initial Security and Early Exposure Most children of famous parents agreed to the advantage of getting a ready audience, an easy insertion into the established field, the easy and early opportunities. There are numerous examples of children of famous parents getting an easy, almost ready stage to showcase their talent. “I have got so much more than any of my father’s students…I am lucky and grateful” said Participant 1. Early debuts and opportunities are a common occurrence. Participant 1 and Participant 2 got professional introductions at the age of 13. Participant 8 shared, “It has helped…a lot of doors have opened faster.” She also added, “You get an introduction and you work to stay there.” They get the opportunity to share stage with the stalwarts in the field – “I do all my fathers concerts,” Participant 1said. All participants agreed that the initial recognition was easy to come by, but they had to work hard, sometimes extra-hard to stay in there. Most participants also expressed recognition of their advantaged position – “you feel good about yourself but feel bad about others.” (Participant 13). Travel - an exposure to the various cultures and rich interactions – all of these are in abundance. As participant 1 shared, “seen so much…traveling…different people, arts, music and culture.” However, there are reservations about the advantaged position. Participant 3 cautioned that the ‘security blanket’ might not be for real, only an apparent thing and to get anything your “own efforts and talent” was needed. The offspring of the famous are identified by their lineage almost all the time and everywhere. The aura of one’s parent is ever present and if the parent is a public figure this aura is larger and more encompassing. Various participants expressed a need to be known as who they are – without referring to the ever-present identity of their parents. Most participants expressed a desire to be famous, to do something extraordinary or to do well and most of these responses had a reference made, by the participants, to their parents. It seems as if achievement is a road to identity. The identity, to be satisfying and fulfilling, needs to be established in a public way. To become famous with respect to one’s own achievement is in some subtle ways related to the formalization of one’s own identity. The society, the self and the parental image seem to be fused at a point and at this point the aim becomes to rise above it so as to be acknowledged and seen as one’s own self. It is a need to possess that glory which for their childhood has been reflected. The expression of this concern by most participants could be a result of their current developmental stage. Most

TABLE I SORTING OF PARTICIPANT ON BASIS OF ‘CHOICE OF PROFESSION’ IN CONNECTION WITH PARENTAL PROFESSION

PARENT’S PROFESSION Participant 1 Participant 2 Participant 4 Participant 5 Participant 6

PARENT’S PROFESSION Participant 3 Participant 7 Participant 11 Participant 9 Participant 10 Participant 14

DIFFERENT PROFESSION Participant 8 Participant 12 Participant 13

The same profession as that of their parents has a security but with it comes the inevitable comparison. In addition to this these participants also share a feeling of ambiguity – not knowing to whom their success belongs. “Is it because of us or is it because of our parents?” This ambiguity makes it difficult to evaluate one’s own success. A feeling of true selfachievement becomes corroded. Out of the remaining three participants – Participants 3, 7 and 13 –participant 3 hasn’t decided on his choice of career and expressed that most likely he’d ‘end up there’. Participant 13 cannot take up her fathers’ profession, pertaining to practical constraints, and participant 7 doesn’t know what she’ll be taking up as a profession, but says the most ‘obvious and safe choice is there’. Some accounts also throw light on the parental expectations and some inherent, sometimes implicit pressures (ref. Emerging themes II). When a parent’s feeling of self-worth depend on the accomplishments of a child, this reinforces the child’s belief that only its exceptional abilities can be relied on to secure the love of someone important to his survival. Here I must add, there is also a play of identification and idolization. Children identify with their parents, and most want to “be them.” Children idolize their parents often denying their own perceptions of reality (Fairbairn). Children of famous parents may soon begin to learn that their parent is an idol. For many, such proximity and intimacy with the “idolized” may foster identification. This process can be seen in the responses reflecting the famous parent’s opinion and acceptance as extremely important. [21] According to Miller (1979) far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." [22] The child adapts to those needs by learning not to feel its most intense feelings, once it has realized that those feelings

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are considered undesirable. Although these "prohibited" feelings cannot always be avoided at a later stage, they remain split off. This means that the most vital part of the true self is not integrated into the personality. The result is emotional insecurity and impoverishment (loss of self), either expressed in the form of depression or fended off via grandiosity. A feeling of “not being good enough” in comparison to their parents could also be at play. It is the experience of self as not good enough. An early experience of shame is so overwhelming to the sense of self that to become someone extraordinary seems the only way to defend against it [23]. When the person feels so deeply flawed that he can never imagine “fitting in” human society, a solution is to imagine rising above. This is the narcissistic solution to shame: if I am not loveable for what I am, I will have to make people admire me for what I can do - and this is how I will make sure that I am never abandoned and alone. The ultimate threat of the experience of shame, after all, is that one will be rejected or ostracized as unworthy of human companionship. And that the ultimate for seeking extraordinary success, power, fame is to make sure that this most feared rejection never happens. In order to secure the love and loyalty of important others, the rejected child must be or do something very special. Becoming someone special- being charming, talented (musically, artistically, intellectually, politically), magneticbecomes the vehicle for a desperate pursuit of emotional nourishment. This is related to the need for achievement and the establishment of an identity. The expectations are usually at three levels – that of the parent form their child, the expectations of the child from him/her self and the exceptions that the society has of them. Parental approval and expectations influence each other. The children are caught between their expected selves and themselves. Brazelton and Cramer (1990) developed the concept of an imaginary interaction, which includes the directly observable interaction, the subjective expectations and the unconscious fantasies of the participants. [24] "The expectations that parents cherish for their future child even before it is conceived are rooted in their own ... history. ... This context (fantasized relationships) is what the child enters when it comes into the world; its spontaneous behavior ‘awakens’ these fantasies and gives rise to interpretations and attributions. The child’s perception of itself is conditioned by this interaction—its self-image develops mirrored in the conscious and unconscious fantasies of the parents about themselves and about the child" [25].

The society too has certain “expectations” of these children that influence their conduct and development. Erikson (1950) saw the recognition and anticipation of social roles as an important aspect of socialization of children. [26] These various expectations encourage one to comply with them, at least overly. Mark Snyder (1979) and his colleagues at the University of Minnesota compared the behaviour and lifestyles of persons termed as high in “self-monitoring” [27]– masters at self presentation, sensitive to their public image and to situational cues of appropriateness, who are able to control or modify their appearance – with a contrasting group who are much less concerned or capable in these respects. Snyder does not condemn self-monitoring strategy for its incoherence, superficiality, and deceit, but finds it rather that it “gives the individual the flexibility to cope quickly and effectively with the shifting situational demands of a diversity of social roles.” The issue of privacy also assumes a certain importance. One is inducted in the public eye by virtue of being someone famous’ son or daughter. This can be a great experience – getting all the attention - from media, from visitors and from the numerous “well-wishers” and fans of their parents. On the flip side this can become unnerving – one, for always being attended to and two, for being attended to because of someone else (the famous parent). One can see here the concept of False self shaping up. The false self develops as a measure of self-protection [28]. Both, the expectations and the violation of privacy, influence the development of a distinct “public self.” The false self hides and protects the True self by complying with the environmental demands. This compliance on part of the infant is the earliest stage of the false self and belongs to the mother’s inability to sense the infant’s needs [29]. The mother implements in the sense of fulfilling the infant’s gesture by the response. If she is unable to respond to it through identification it must compulsively comply in order to survive. The false self-organization, at its most extreme, “results in feeling unreal or a sense of futility.” When the mother has not been able to adapt to the "spontaneous gesture" the True Self may then feel too threatened to reveal itself; the infant starts to live a false existence of compliance; and there is quickly a build-up of a "false set of relationships." Often, the False self as it gains complexity will enable the individual to present a successful appearance to the world - but behind this there is very possibly a poverty of cultural living and a sense of inner futility. If the mother cannot see and accept her infant as a whole person, then the infant cannot do so, either. Kohut (1971) too made repeated reference to the mother’s empathic care for the child’s entire self, by which he meant not so much praise and satisfaction of needs as a style, an atmosphere of acceptance [30]. The embryonic grandiose self is reflected "in the radiance of the mother’s eyes"; its own grandiosity shares in the omnipotence of its self-object. The two are fused, yet take the form of a differentiated whole. This ‘mother’ plays an important role in the relationship with the “world and oneself”. Fame is an intriguing variable. The study of the children born to famous people is just one aspect in the study of the influences of the phenomenon of fame on the human psyche. As fame is encroaching into the lives of the common man – a

Here the fantasies which make up the child’s self are the parents’; the fantasies make themselves felt in the parents’ ways of behaving with the child. That is, they form a structure that is hardly founded in natural conditions, but also not adopted in such a way that it is accessible to consciousness, even potentially. The child’s virtual self is laid down in the other, in their plans, wishes, and fantasies—entrusted to it, so to speak. This structure cannot be avoided, but must be called to account: all projective plans inevitably "misjudge" the child’s self.

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careful study will throw light upon important aspects of the experience of fame. REFERENCES [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

[9] [10] [11] [12]

[13] [14] [15]

[16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24]

[25]

[26] [27] [28] [29] [30]

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