CHILD CUSTODY STATE LAWS Hawaii: Child Custody Keep these following facts in mind when reading this section: •

The court makes the final decision, thus assumes full responsibility in order to permanently safeguard the child against acute or chronic feelings of guilt.

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In most states the court will consider the child's wishes differently according to his or her age.

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In a situation involving more than one child, experts feel that it is usually best to keep all siblings together with respect to the custody arrangements.

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Divorce splits the bond of husband and wife, and custody splits the bond of parenting. A custody dispute is more likely to be more difficult than the divorce itself, because the bond of parenting is typically stronger than that of marriage.

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Most importantly, each and every family is unique, with very distinctive needs and desires that must be kept at the forefront of any and all considerations.

Hawaii Child Custody Informational Sections:

Types of Child Custody: Defining and focusing on the differences of temporary, physical, and legal custody. This section will help one make some personal decisions about what custody goals are obtainable.

Custody Decisions: A practical step-by-step way to help decide who should have custody! Custody should never be assumed, so visit this section to find out how to approach this topic with your spouse.

Child Custody Evaluations: When is a custody evaluation necessary? How does it work? What to expect? Evaluations are not always necessary, but it is wise to be aware of the process and what the repercussions may be.

Child's Bill of Rights: A list of rights granted to children devised by the Wisconsin Supreme Court, and a list of rules parents should attempt to follow to see these child's rights are not broken. Child-napping and Jurisdiction Issues Pertaining to Custody Arrangements: What to do if one suspects his or her child has been kid-napped by his or her spouse.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQS): A consistently updated section of typical questions family law attorneys tend to be asked. Your answers may be here!

HAWAII CHILD CUSTODY: Joint or sole child custody may be awarded to either or both of the parents based on the best interests of the child and upon the wishes of the child, if the child is of sufficient age and capacity to form an intelligent choice. Joint custody will be allowed if it can be arranged to assure the child of continuing contact with both parents. There are no other specific factors for consideration set out in the statute. [Hawaii Revised Statutes; Title 571, Chapter 461.

Hawaii: Child Custody Frequently Asked Questions:

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Are there guidelines for child custody in Hawaii?

Most parents realize that it is best for them to decide on custody, support and visitation without the help of the court. Leaving these issues up to the court creates an element of surprise that most individuals can live without. Hawaii does have Child Custody Guidelines like most states which will come into play if the parents are incapable of being rational with one another in making these ever so important decisions. •

How much influence does my child have in custody declaration?

Much of this depends upon the child's age. The older the child, the more influence he or she will be able to exert on the court. Although the court does have the final say, the testimony of a child oftentimes places significant weight on the judicial scales. Not all states consider child's wishes. •

What if the wife is pregnant at the time of separation and divorce?

The unborn child is to be treated no differently than any living child. •

Does a homo-sexual parent have equal rights to custody?

The homo-sexual parent should have equal rights as any other parent, with the decision obliged to and contingent upon the ultimate concern for the best interest and general welfare of the child. If under this criteria the homo-sexual parent measures best, then proper custody should be awarded. •

Can custody rights change in Hawaii?

Absolutely. It is recommended that periodic evaluations of the parenting plan be made. This is important because so many factors can be modified or altered over a short period following the divorce, such as change in employment, residence, or marital status. •

Who normally gets physical custody?

In majority of the cases, the mother is granted physical custody. However, in some instances, the mother works nights or is heavily involved in educational pursuit. In cases of this sort, physical custody is often granted to the father. •

Can a non-parent obtain custody of my child?

It is possible. However, the court must be petitioned with the case being presented that the non-parent has a meaningful relationship with the child, and that the welfare of the child is best in the non-parent's hands. •

Does there need to be custody agreements?

It is required by law, for at least one parent to always be legally responsible for the child. Any change in the status of custody rights must also always be made in concern with the judicial system.

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How is child custody jurisdiction established?

Recent laws have been passed concerning child-napping. If one parent disagrees with the court's decision, he or she might attempt to take the child to another state and thus (each state has different guidelines) re-open the issue of custodial rights. There are several elements which determine the proper state in which child custody is determined: length of time the child has resided in the state, any previous court proceedings regardless of respective state concerning child custody, the residency of each parent, and so on. •

When is the right time to tell my child about the divorce?

Obviously, there could never be the perfect time or place. The ultimate concern should be to maintain complete honesty and integrity when discussing the situation with the child. Children are often much smarter than their youth might lead one to believe. The child should never be misled about the parent's relationship. If the marriage is over, they have a right to be told. •

Can my child be used as a witness in court?

In most states but not all the child's wishes are given consideration. With respect to testing on divorce grounds or custodial issues the judge has his or her discretion. •

Before the custodial arrangements are set, should I ask my child with whom he/she would want to live?

This would put the child in a horrible situation. The worst thing a child must do is make a statement choosing the parent he or she would want to live with. In a lot of cases it must eventually be done, but if the child has not come forward, then a parent should probably not ask. •

How long does the child custody evaluation process take?

Any evaluation should be initiated at least six weeks prior to the court date. This process should never be hastened or undergone without full intentions of completion. A full evaluation takes about four weeks, assuming relative distance proximity between both the parents and the evaluator. •

What is the typical judicial attitude towards custody?

Not, surprisingly, it is women who are most in favor. Perhaps this is due to the recognition of the value of maternal instinct. For whatever reason, it has been the precedence set in the past and traditionally many judges find it difficult to change their ways. However, with the changing of socio-economic structure of contemporary society, fathers are beginning to have a more significant parenting role. •

What are parent's attitudes towards custody?

Not surprisingly, women are usually more wanting of custody than fathers, but the percentage of the fathers petitioning for custody is growing. This is very commonplace in a dual-income household. •

After divorce, how do the majority of parents react to custody arrangements?

Typically, the parents abide by the court-ordered arrangements for custody. However, it is not uncommon for the terms to change shortly thereafter the divorce due to change in lifestyles.

Hawaii: Child Custody Custody Decisions The mission: To plan a practical way to care for the child, with each par pursuing the responsibilities they have had in the past. Where to begin? A frank discussion of traditional influences exercised in the past by each parent would be the best place to start. If the discussion never amounts to anything more than exchanging volleys of "I always did this, you never did that," in the end the entire purpose of the conversation will be defeated. Each parent needs to acknowledge the other's contributions made in rearing the child. It is important to give proper credit where credit is due. In short, nothing less than a positive atmosphere should prevail. The entire purpose of the conversation is to hopefully find the answer to the most important question, what custody arrangements are in "the best interests of our child?" In some instances the answer discovered might leave one parent happier than the other, but under no circumstances should the focus ever be allowed to deviate from a child's best interest. In order to ease the parent's burden, it is often suggested that counseling besought and/or books be read concerning child custody issues and disputes. How will the child be reared? At this point a plan should be drafted to make certain that parties have communicated clearly. This will eliminate any lingering or potential misunderstandings that may arise in the future. Feelings of competitiveness or selfishness are not unnatural, but must not be allowed to influence any important decisions that are made. Seeking the advice of a good friend or a counselor are two avenues available to guard against these very human emotions. Proper custody arrangements are for the child's benefit, never for that of the parents! Who will have custody? Once a plan has been mutually agreed upon, the question of custody arrangements should fall into line. There are many different types of child custody, both legal and physical, so there are a wide variety of options available to deal with all situations. If you plan to obtain joint custody it is vital that both parties be very flexible, and always take the future into consideration.

Hawaii: Child Custody Types of Child Custody Temporary Custody At the time of separation, the temporary custody arrangements might very well be assumed by the two parents. However, it is essential that the issues related are thoroughly discussed in order to successfully reach a binding and lasting mutual agreement. Residency, legal guardianship, and visitation serve as the foundation issues on which the legal and physical custody tights are awarded. The law typically does not playa role in temporary custody arrangements, interceding only when one spouse is deemed unsuitable, usually on grounds of alcoholism or abusiveness, and only after the respective attorney files a petition with the court. In other words, it is usually in the interest of common good to come to a satisfactory agreement, to cooperate with the estranged spouse, and to provide convenient visitation. It should not be taken for granted that the final legal custody arrangements awarded by the court will be the same as the temporary custody arrangements. To ensure the best possible outcome for the child, divorce counseling for the entire family is highly recommended. Counseling helps prevent a child from becoming a manipulative pawn or the inappropriate subject and/or source of any arguments. Most often a child views the parents as equals, and the change in relationships as a result of the divorce process can be emotionally devastating. Remember, the child is the most vulnerable person in the divorce action, and unfortunately, the legal system does not completely protect this precious commodity. Legal Custody: awards a parent or both parents the right to make legal decisions for the child regarding education, health care, religion, and his or her general welfare. Sole Legal Custody: when only one parent holds the right to make legal decisions for the child regarding education, health care, religion, and his or her general welfare. Joint Legal Custody: when both parents hold the right to make legal decisions for the child regarding education, health care, religion, and his or her general welfare, without either parent having superior rights. The most common form of joint legal custody designates one parent as having primary residential (i.e., physical) custody. Currently, in most states, the courts will favor joint legal custody in situations where the parents have the ability to cooperate with one another in terms of making decisions that are in the best interest of the child." Many divorcing parents do work very hard towards achieving this goal. Joint custody is definitely not for everyone and can only come about as a result of rational decision-making process focused on the past roles and future expectations of the parents. Physical Custody: defines and declares the child's residency. Sole Physical Custody: when the child lives with one parent and the other his specific visitation rights. Joint Physical Custody: when a child is able to reside with each parent for a substantial amount of time during the course of a calendar year. The arrangement does not have to be split 50-50, but it does require some consistent plan or schedule. This type of custody arrangement is not very common, for it is rare when this type of arrangement is found to be best for a child.

Hawaii: Child Custody Custody Evaluations When custodial agreement cannot be reached between the two parties prior to the trial date, a great deal of preparation may be required by the client and the attorney in order to effectively petition the court for custodial rights. It is very common to seek the professional opinion and testimony of a counselor or therapist that is capable and qualified to perform child evaluations. The evaluator will study the behavior and emotions of the family relationships, and testify in court or at a deposition to explain his or her conclusions. The members of the family should be aware of the differences between the distinctive roles of the counselor and the evaluator. The evaluator merely studies the family, where as the counselor not only evaluates, but in fact, is charged with the task of providing extensive advice. An evaluation should never be sought without prior and full consent of both parties. Any subsequent evaluation should also be inclusive of both parents. The evaluation is to determine if a strong, happy, and healthy relationship exists between the child and the parent. What to Expect from a Quality Custody Evaluation: •

There should be a mutual agreement on both sides to have an evaluation conducted. To emphasize the importance of this decision, the commitment should be backed by the signature of each person involved.

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One side should never be observed and/or evaluated without the other one present, unless previously notified and authorized.

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The child should be observed and evaluated on how he or she acts around each parent individually and collectively. The child may also be interviewed privately, but age and maturity always plays a vital role in this decision.

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The evaluator should visit the homes of each parent at a time which would best exemplify the typical family atmosphere. While this would not be a surprise visit, neither should it be coordinated or rehearsed. The child must be present at the residence for at least part of the visit.

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The evaluator should inquire about contacting teachers, doctors, baby-sitters, or any other people who have had a fairly close relationship with the child. These people should be called and considered for an interview.

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The evaluator should deliver reports to each party concurrently, and a session should be made available in which each parent can address any questions as well as receive information about the child and the family relationships.

Hawaii: Child Custody Child's Bill of Rights The judicial system in each state considers numerous factors in arriving at a final and proper child custody arrangement. After reviewing all of these factors, the Wisconsin Supreme Court devised a guideline for a child's rights. These basic rights are upheld in all 50 states: The right to: • • • • • • • • • •

a continuing relationship with both parents. be treated not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual, continuing care and proper guidance from each parent. not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently. express love, friendship, and respect for both parents: freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such. an explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child's actions. not to be the subject and/or source of any and all arguments. continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family. maintain regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations. enjoy a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool.

The obligation of being a parent does not end after a divorce. It is extremely important to understand that the bond of marriage is completely different from that of parents. This is the most common down fall in Ways society, as dissolution of marriage takes place so does that of parenting. To avoid difficulty in sharing parenthood after a divorce, try to follow these basic rules: • • • • • • • • •

Address situations with business-like behavior. If at any time a conversation becomes a little too personal, it might be wise to continue it on a later date. Respect and encourage the child's relationship with the other parent. Schedule regular appointments with the ex-spouse to discuss parenting issues. Make no assumptions on past behavior. Attempt to express and/or show appreciation towards one another as even the simplest comment or action can create a stronger and more effective partnership, Never intentionally break or skip appointments, If one can't be kept, be immediately forthright and honest. Do not make individual decisions. Be open-minded. Remember the goals and recognize the benefits as they arise.

Hawaii: Child Custody Jurisdiction Issues •

Jurisdiction

If the spouses reside in different states, or the family has recently moved to another state, the question of which specific state has the proper authority and jurisdiction to hear a child custody case might arise, The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act has established a uniform law that all 50 states are required to abide by. This legislation was passed in order to resolve these issues, which has helped prevent the problems of child-napping by parents who are dissatisfied with a particular state's decision. •

Child-Napping

In the past it was not uncommon for a parent who has lost a custody battle to take the child across state lines in an attempt to have another state's court award new custody arrangements. A set of standardized guidelines have been established to evaluate which specific state should have sole power over making the custody decisions, so presently there is seldom a dispute between states regarding custodial jurisdiction. If a non-custodial parent snatches a child, at which time you are unable to or feel unsafe to go where he or she is living to retrieve the child, talk to your attorney and if need be file an immediate petition for contempt of court. This is "Child-napping," which is subject to severe penalties.

Hawaii: Child Support Keep these following facts in mind when reading this section: Divorce will never end the legal obligation for support. Each parent, although the bond of marriage has been broken, still retains a legal responsibility to provide adequate support until the child reaches the age of emancipation. The legal duties of support are based upon the needs of the child in conjunction with the abilities of the parents as dictated by income and assets owned. The courts generally focus on income after taxes, and support is rarely the sole responsibility of the non-custodial parent, because it is understood that the premiere job of the custodial parent is to provide a sufficient household. Child Support is a combined effort to obtain a fair distribution of financial responsibility, so the child may live in a manner similar to that which existed before the divorce. There are many different variables to be taken into consideration, and it must be remembered that all situations are unique. The one common denominator all parents should have is the desire to provide for "the best interests of the child." As in a custody battle, the court will have the final say in all matters. Thus, again, an out of court agreement is often the best measure to guard against the unexpected The court makes the final decision, thus assumes full responsibility in order to permanently safeguard the child against acute or chronic feelings of guilt Hawaii Child Support Informational Sections:

Child Support Decisions: Defining and focusing on the issues and factors involved in child support negotiations.

Child Support Modification: Can support arrangements be modified? What is the process, and what factors are typically considered? Child Support Enforcement: How does one prevent delinquency? What measures to take if it occurs? Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) A consistently updated section of typical questions family law attorneys tend to be asked. Your answers may be here!

HAWAII CHILD SUPPORT: The court may order either or both parents to provide child support in a just and equitable manner. Factors to be considered are: (1) the relative merits of the parties; (2) the relative abilities of the parties; (3) the condition of the parties after the divorce; (4) the burdens imposed on the parties for the benefit of the child; and (5) all other circumstances of the case. There are official Child Support Guidelines set out in the statute. [Hawaii Revised Statutes; Title 576D, Chapter 7, and Title 580, Chapter 47j.

Hawaii: Child Support Frequently Asked Questions: •

How is child support determined in the state of Hawaii?

Hawaii, like most states has guidelines for determining the amount of support that should be provided for a child or children. The guidelines have a percentage of annual income relation to how many children. It is not uncommon for parents to agree on the amount of child support. If they can not, the court will use the guidelines in determining the amount. •

Does child support exist without divorce?

Hawaii will allow a parent to file for custody and visitation rights without a legal divorce, so support can be issued. Temporary custody must be decided prior to filing a petition for support. In this situation both parents have an equal right to have the children live with them, unless records show past abuse. •

If a parent remarries, how is the new spouse's income viewed for child support?

If the new spouse has an income, it is not considered for support, because he or she has no legal attachment to provide support to a child. The additional income may allow the supporting parent to spend less, so more money might be available for the monthly support payments. •

What are the primary parts of a support order?

Social Security number of each child, the amount to be paid to each child, how frequent the payments will be made, and the manner of payment. •

What about medical insurance for the children?

In Hawaii, this issue is typically addressed and taken care of in the Marital Settlement Agreement. It is important for the child or children to have coverage during the divorce process. A decision is made between the two parties, but it is the responsibility of the parent who can provide coverage due to his or her employment. •

Should support payment stop if visitation is being prevented?

No, unfortunately each is a legal duty of its own. If a parent is deprived of visitation, he or she must still provide support. Visitation and non-payment of support must be petition in court separate. •

How is support enforced?

It varies in each state. Payment of support has become an increasing problem, so there have been many recent steps taken to enforce the payment. Wage assignment programs have been established, which immediately deducts any support payment from the supporter’s paycheck, before he or she receives it. "Friend of the Court" is a division of the county courthouse that receives the payment and then distributes it to the custodial parent.

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Is child support tax-deductible?

The amount of support declared at the date of settlement is not considered income for the parent who receives therefore the support amount can not be deducted as an expense for federal income tax purposes. •

Is Medical Insurance a part of Child Support?

The medical insurance for any minor child is to be awarded with child support. It is not always the noncustodial parent that is responsible. Presently the court looks to the parent with the best plan at the lowest rate. •

Can Child Support be modified in Hawaii?

Hawaii will allow for the modification of child support as long as a substantial change has occurred and the change is not something that has been previously addressed. The change will typically be associated with living arrangements and income. •

What if the percentage of annual income is not sufficient?

It is not there the Hawaii court system can not make it appear. This is a problem that is quite common. The amount of support is not enough, because sometimes the paying spouse is hiding income. Most of the time, a good way around this dilemma is to petition the court for support for other things like education costs. •

If the paying spouse files for bankruptcy is he or she obligated to make support payments?

Yes. The federal law does not allow any child support or alimony payments to be discharged. Basically the paying spouse is responsible for support for the time period stated in the order, unless modification of some sort is made. •

Is college tuition a part of child support in Hawaii?

This all depends on the order that was granted by the court prior to the child attending college. If college tuition was not part of the order then you must re-file for modification to prove to the court that the child is doing well and it is in his or her best interest to remain in college. At this point the court will make a judgment whether the support should continue through school and that if more money should be paid to finance part of the tuition bills.

Hawaii: Child Support Making Child Support Decisions Child support, like many other elements in divorce, does not have to be decided by the court. Pretrial agreement is not uncommon, and is often the arrangement that is awarded by the court. Otherwise typically the court will refer to the Alabama Guidelines to determine the amount of support. It is each parent's responsibility to explain any and all circumstantiating unique situations to the respective attorneys. If this does not take place the needs of the child are not reached, and the child becomes a victim. It is the job of the parents, with the help of their attorneys, to iron out a reasonable agreement. An agreement reached prior to trial is almost always a more successful one, because it is the parents who best understand the specific needs and capabilities of the family members. When negotiating child support issues with your attorney and/or opposing party, keep in mind these factors that the judicial system takes into consideration: •

The quality of lifestyle the child would have most likely experienced had the divorce not taken place.

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The financial resources of each parent and that of the child's.

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The age and health of each parent.

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The income and earning capabilities of each parent.

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The willingness both parents demonstrate to allow visitation.

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The impact on each parent maintaining two households.

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The child's educational needs, higher education not withstanding.

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The age and health of the child.

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The possibility of the child obtaining employment.

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The tax liabilities of each parent.

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The desire on the part of each parent to have sole or joint custody.

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The employment stability and potential of each parent.

Hawaii: Child Support Modification Child support may be modified at any time in which there has been a drastic change in circumstances. In order to have a modification take place the party moving for modification must file an order with the court, showing evidence of the change in circumstances. Typically, the evidence must be completely new to the court. Any issues addressed previously in the child support arrangements are not means for modification. Here are some of the factors generally considered for modification: •

The parent's income and earning capacities.

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The assets that are available for support.

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The employee benefits of each parent.

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The income of a new spouse or cohabitant.

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The new family responsibilities of each spouse.

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The increase in the cost of living.

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The change in cost of rearing the child.

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The heath conditions of parents and child.

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The modification of custody arrangement.

Hawaii: Child Support Enforcement Child support payment is the one thing that is most often ignored post-divorce. Analysis of support has proven that the level of income does not influence the delinquency of payment. The resulting conclusion has shown that child support has become a power tool for the non-custodial parent. Quite often, this support delinquency is applied out of revenge or punishment directed to the custodial parent. The custodial parent and his or her attorney should take precautionary measures to protect against the possibility of delinquency:

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"Friend of the Court”

This organization is a publicly supported collection system which maintains vigilance over parents who are responsible for child support payments. (The custodial parent never needs to file a complaint of payment delinquency. The payment check is sent to the "Friend of the Court" first, and immediately distributed to the custodial parent. This has proven to be the most effective form of deterrence, as the court always has an accurate and up-to-date record of the entire support process.)

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Automatic Wage Deduction

Under this method the non-custodial parent has the legally declared monthly support payment deducted fro his or her paycheck and the amount is immediately sent to the custodial parent. (Typically, the parent will never miss what he/she actually never had, and the temptation to spend the money or refuse to make payment is eliminated. This has proven to be very effective for parents who have remarried or are cohabitating with someone new, because new spouses, boyfriends, or girlfriends have been known to disrupt the payment process for selfish purposes.)

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Wage Withholding System

If one or more support payments have been missed or are overdue, this system will withhold the noncustodial parent’s wages or other income. (The supporter is notified of this action, and can not be relieved of the penalty unless a formal written agreement stating an alternate arrangement exists or a reasonable explanation of delinquency is delivered.

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Bonds and Other Securities or Assets

Most states provide enforcement procedures that protect against delinquency payments by having the non-custodial parent post a bond or asset to secure payment when overdue.

Hawaii: Visitation Keep these following facts in mind when reading this section: When one parent is awarded custody of the child, the other parent is granted the right of visitation. Visitation plays a role in almost all custody arrangements unless deemed not in "a child's best interest." The guidelines for visitation should be agreed upon promptly to prevent any future misunderstandings. It is the responsibility of the parents to arrange for a reasonable schedule of visitation. Failure to do so in a timely manner will force the court to assume complete control. This discussion should be approached by both parents openly, in order to thoroughly address the central issues of when, where, and for how long. It is typically important to always bear in mind that the child has a right to maintain an ongoing relationship with both parents. Once arrangements have been made, they should not be deliberately interfered with or ignored. It is the responsibility of the custodial parent to prepare the child for the first visitation. The visits are normally non-supervised and occur at the non-custodial parent's residence. Visitation patterns that evolve throughout and after the final divorce typically reflect the pre-divorce relationship. However, the temporary visitation arrangements made prior to the final divorce are not always the guidelines followed after the divorce. Hawaii Visitation Informational Sections:

Reasonable Visitation?: The basic DO's and DON’T's of devising visitation schedules. How much is too much, or is it enough?

The Child's Wishes: A brief overview of how courts accept, and/or consider a child's wishes. (This practice is not recognize in all states)

Visitation Modification: What to expect and how to go about changing present visitation situations. Grandparent Visitation: An explanation of the courts current outlook on the role of grandparents. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): A consistently updated section of typical questions family law attorneys tend to be asked. Your answers may be here!

Hawaii: Visitation Frequently Asked Questions •

Do all spouses have the right to visitation?

Typically the spouse who does not have physical custody of the child has the legal right to visitation. These rights can be withheld if evidence can be brought forth proving that it is in the best interest of the child not to see the spouse (examples: excessive use of alcohol, physical or verbal abusiveness). The amount and schedule of visitation is stated in the final agreement. •

Can a visitation schedule be modified?

Visitation schedules are often established as a test. Either spouse does not know what the future will tell as far as how their parent child relationship will grow. Typically visitation schedules do change and it is done with out the use of the court, but if need be the court will make a decision if a spouse is being deprived of visitation rights. •

What should I do if my child does not want to see me?

This is a very difficult situation, especially when the child is very young. In all fairness, hopefully the custodial parent is not influencing the child. This, however, does occur quite often. It is the child's choice to see the estranged parent, so fighting this situation can be a real up hill battle. •

How do I make the most out of the time with my child?

Be sure to give the child as much of an explanation as possible, and be there to answer any questions. The typical estranged parent will try to make up a two week period of time in one weekend. This is probably the best attitude to have, but do not involve it with overwhelming presents because when children grow up they began to understand the power of money and how it is used to influence people. •

How can I keep a close relationship from a far?

A phone call at the appropriate time can be as meaningful as any visit. Also consider using e-mail to correspond. Most colleges and universities offer this to students, so if your child is away at school this can be something he or she looks forward to every week, •

How can I get to know my child again?

Going through a divorce can really hurt relationships and sometimes rebuilding them can be a long drawn out process. Don't expect it to happen over night, and try to do things that will bring you closer. Try having your child bring a friend along on a weekend adventure, this allows the child to be more comfortable.

Hawaii: Visitation Reasonable Visitation In most cases, visitation arrangements should be both liberal and generous. Establishing "reasonable" visitation is the job of the parents. It is almost impossible to have prior knowledge concerning the times and terms that will work best for both parents and child. Therefore it is essential that both parents cooperate and remain flexible. In some situations, one parent may use visitation as a tool to spite the other parent. Even the minutest detail, such as transportation, can be utilized as a manipulative weapon. Quite often, the burden of any assault in the end falls upon the child. One can imagine how this must make a child feel. If the judge believes genuine cooperation exists between the two parents, a detailed visitation schedule may not be formally drafted. However, it is in everyone's best interests to prepare as detailed a schedule as possible, because it is impossible to predict what complications the future may bring. Visitation: Child's Wishes In most situations, depending on age, the court will consider the wishes of the child when examining the issues of visitations and custody. It is not uncommon for the child's wishes to be granted. However the court will only do so if such wishes are deemed to be in the overall "best interest of the child." This judgment will depend greatly on the age of the child, and the maturity level the court determines the child to possess. It is taken into consideration that objecting to the child's wishes could very well, in itself, be acting against the child's overall best interests. •

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for the custodial parent to exert undue influence over the child's decision-making process.

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If a child's wish is to not have visitation with the non-custodial parent, the court may take into account the ignorance or immaturity of the child, and still grant visitation rights to the noncustodial parent.

Visitation: Modification Visitation may be modified at any time in which a drastic change in conduct or circumstances involving the parents can be demonstrated. Permanent modifications may be implemented; however, temporary suspension is also an option. In order to modify visitation arrangements, the party in favor of such must file an order with the court presenting clear evidence of the change in conduct or circumstances. Typically, this evidence must be completely new to the court. Any issues addressed previously in any prior proceedings are not grounds for modification. The following are some of the most common factors that are generally the cause for successful modification of visitation arrangements: • • • •

Chronic non-obedience with the visitation schedule. Repeated failure to return the child at the designated time. The teaching of immoral and/or illegal acts to the child. The parent's conviction of a crime.

Hawaii: Visitation Grandparent Rights Almost all states award grandparents visitation rights on the basis of biological linkage. In addition, the court typically, recognizes the importance of the role grandparents play in rearing the child. It is essential for a child to maintain an extended family, so that the child will not look upon other children who do enjoy such and feel deprived. In many circumstances, grandparents offer great stability to the child throughout the divorce process, and are a good avenue for support ft r the child. Therefore, the current trend of the courts is to promote grandparent visitation rather than restrict it. Grandparent Rights A grandparent typically will be granted the right to visitation during and once the divorce is final. If the Grandparent is being denied visitation he or she or both must file an application with the Superior court in the County in which the child resides. At this point in time it is up to the grandparent(s) to prove to the court that visitation with them is in the best interests of the child. • • • • • •

The relationship between the child and the applicant. The relationship between each of the child's parents or person with whom the child is residing and the applicant. The time which has elapsed since the child last had contact with the applicant. The effect that such visitation will have on the relationship between the child the child's parents or the person with whom the child is residing. If the parents are divorced or separated, the time sharing arrangement which exists between the parents with regard to the child, The good faith of the applicant in filing the application. Any history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse or neglect by the applicant Any other factor relevant to the best interests of the child.

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