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Beverly Wolfer-Nerenberg

15 Adar 5772

3/7/2012 10:29 AM

Wed, Mar 7, 2012 at 10:26 AM

Candle Lighting: 5:39 pm

I write to you as I contemplate what I will wear for Purim this year (Red Power Ranger?)0in the meantime, I hope you will enjoy this special Purim edition of the Chadashot. Thank you to all who contributed. I look forward to seeing you on Thursday as we read the Megilla and join together as a community for this wonderful Chag.

Dear Parents:

A Message from Rabbi Krauss

Purim Sameach! Rabbi Binyamin Krauss

Only in Israel

Havdallah: 6:42 pm

March 9, 2012

To The Haman family on your recent losses.

Condolences

To Morderchai Ha’Yehudi on his recent promotion.

Mazal Tov

Click here for a pdf version of Chadashot

Parshat Ki Tisa

[email protected] To: [email protected], [email protected]

Chad-a-shout! Special Purim Edition

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(see 6 answers throughout)

Bereishit 1:1 In the “big inning” (beginning)

PI DAY--Students will get together and write a new digit for the irrational number Pi every minute. This would go on until every student had become a great-grandparent.

HEALTHY FOOD DAY--The lunch menu will feature only healthful foods such as broccoli, string beans, and asparagus. (The students came up with their own name for this: "Fast Day.")

SNOW DAY--Students will be asked to put on mittens, heavy scarves, and snowboots, and walk outside on ice gathered from the kitchen freezers, while throwing confetti at each other, thus making themselves believe that there actually was a winter this year.

Here are some other special days that are being considered for the near future:

Recently SAR has commemorated a slew of special days: "Topsy-Turvy Day" (which was meant to feature unusually outlandish behavior, but which didn't look all that different from what goes on every day); "Extended Family Day" (in which grandparents and other family members sat in on classes, possibly remembering experiences in a single room schoolhouse, making them feel right at home in SAR); "Red Day" (during which students were told to come to school dressed in red, inadvertantly revealing those who are color blind); and "Nap Day" (in which junior high students were officially allowed to nap during class, rather than having them sneak snoozes behind the teachers' backs), among other such events.

By: Rabbi Eliezer Gevirtz

SAR DAYS DAZE

Academy News

Baseball and Judaism have many connections, so in honor of Purim and spring training, where is Baseball mentioned in the Torah?

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

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New Enrichment Cluster: Dusters and Lusters

Is clean the new green? Do you love things pristine? And what about shmutz? Are you wondering what the dirt is about SAR's Schoolwide Enrichment Model and Project-based learning approach? Then Enrichment Dusters is for you. Using digital devices come explore, consider, and generate solutions for the real-world problem of global 21st Century dust. Perhaps your interest lies in mites or maybe it's dust balls that fascinate you. Either way, this exploration will provide opportunities for creating societal change on micro and macro levels.

Oh we love Esther, oh yes we do. She’s such a heroine, so strong and true She won a contest, a beauty queen. And now she’ll save her people from Haman so mean

Lyrics by: Morah Naomi Cohen and sung to the tune of "Milly, Milly, Milly Oh . . " (Which was sung to the tune of “Baby, Baby, Baby Oh”)

Purim Paean

We can’t wait for Lin to finish his studies at Harvard and join us in the “Garden” of learning at SAR.

Ball speed: 6.8 seconds, Hamantashen eating: 42/min, Megilah reading: Whole megilah – 18 minutes, flat, Torah Bowl Quiz: 98%

Lin’s current Stats:

for their incoming 8 grade teams. Lin has bounced around from the Shushan league to the Persian Semipro league. He has gone against opponents such as La-Haman and A-Wade.

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Yirmiyahu Shu-How Lin is an elementary school athlete who is currently playing with Harvard Elementary School and will be joining the SAR family as of September 2012. SAR offered him the coveted scholarships in the sports of Hamantashen Eating and Megilah Speed Reading. SAR believes that he would be a good fit

Courtesy of Mrs. Horowitz

Or perhaps you have heard that kids just won't be absent on the day of the week that our Enrichment program runs, that parents want to join too, and that prospective families think SAR's Enrichment Program is yet another way the Academy sets itself apart. If you too long for this program in your school or institution, then you would be a natural for the group: Enrichment Lusters. Visit us on Tuesdays to see what everyone is raving about or contact our Schoolwide Enrichment Coordinator, Sharon Marson, for more information.

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gym membership. Others felt that SAR is going into the 21 century too fast. “First it was computers, then smart boards and now this???”

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brother in 5 grade!” “What next? exclaimed an 8 grader, “walls?!!!!” Mixed reviews have come in from the faculty. One teacher seemed frustrated by the news explaining that now she would have to renew her

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In a desire to become a state-of-the-art facility, SAR’s development office has proposed a plan to have the staircases which run through the entire big building, replaced with escalators. Parents are thrilled that their children will no longer have to schlep their heavy backpacks, lunch boxes, projects and themselves, up and down the exhausting stairs, while the students are clearly unhappy. Said one first grader, “What do you mean? I was just learning how to slide down the banister from my

SAR Business Office Proposes Big Change to the Academy

Faculty and staff have been asked to come up with ways to lower SAR’s carbon footprint. They have been urged to recycle whenever possible. In a show of Arvut, our head of operations Nick Fadda and our head of Kitchen, Eran Ginsburg have come up with a brilliant way to do just this. Due to the lack of snow this winter, Nick has an overabundance of salt. Eran uses salt when cooking0.see where we’re going with this? Nick will give the salt to Eran for use in the kitchen! Kol Hakavod!!

Reuse/Renew/Recycle at SAR

TOPSY-TOPSY-TURVY DAY--Students will truly reverse course, and sit quietly and obediently in class, listening to the teachers without interrupting, picking up the litter around them, and thanking teachers for the opportunity to take tests and do homework. (This idea was discarded because no one in the school could envision in their wildest imagination how this would look.)

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This Week in Sports -SAR Recruiting Report:

3/7/2012 10:29 AM

And, finally, HAVE A GOOOOOOD DAY DAY--In which this message would blare forth from the school loudspeakers every minute of every hour, and still not be heard above the usual daily SAR din.

ANCIENT HISTORY DAY--Students will go back to prehistoric times and get to see what life was like then, by getting to write with CHALK on a BLACKBOARD, and using a PEN to answer questions on sheets that were printed up on a TYPEWRITER and run off on a MIMEOGRAPH MACHINE. (Those who can identify the capitalized items should contact us immediately.)

GREEN DAY--The students will post reams of paper all over the school announcing their intention to promote ecology and save the trees. (Not to be confused with GREEN DAY DAY, in which everyone sits around listening to songs from the show "American Idiot".)

PARENTS' DAY--The parents will take the place of their kids and see if they can handle what the students go through every day, having to sit quietly, hand in homework and reports (done surreptitiously by their children), and forfeiting a year's tuition if they misbehave.

RUNNING WITH THE RABBI DAY--During which our principal, Rabbi Krauss, will lead the students on a jog across the George Washington Bridge, along the coast of Florida, through the Northwest Passage, and on to the Oregon Trail, returning in time for lunch--seven years later.

"LET'S GO METS" DAY--In view of the fact that the school has commemorated victories by the Yankees, the Giants, and even the Sting without acknowledging the great NY Mets, it was proposed that the students stage a parade through the school every time the Mets actually score a run.

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Random Picture of the Week

Yehezkel 36:12-"Yea, I will cause men to walk"

"Diary of a Wimpy King", the story of a wimpy king named Achashverosh who, with the help of some smart friends, Esther and Mordechai, finds his voice and is able to confront the bully Haman.

What we’re reading right now:

And Uncle Mordy, our Mordechai. He is a smart one, a special guy He helped his Esther, his niece so sweet. He led her to become such royalty And the Jews sing: Mordy, Mordy, Mordechai Mordy such a special guy Mordy’s prayers reached to the sky We love you ‘cause you helped the Jews

And the Jews sing: Esther, Esther, Esther oh Esther, Esther way to go Esther,starring in the show. We love you ‘cause you helped the Jews

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Band aids dispensed each day by Nurse Esther

300

150

150

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Diapers changed in the Day Care on a daily basis

14

690

Computers at SAR Academy

52

75

260

39

120

Dismissal changes received by Chavie Ice packs distributed by Nurse Esther

25

2,640

150

19

650

3,278,651

4,382

Loaves of bread used for grilled cheese

ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT ARVUTARVUTARVUT

SAR Word Search

Phone calls received by Sally, Zelda and Chavie combined

Coats in Lost & Found

Pounds of chicken for roast chicken lunch

Single shoes in Lost & Found

Forgotten homework folders

Slices of pizza prepared on pizza day

CHANGES to dismissal changes received by Chavie

Tums distributed by nurse on "Taco Day"

Pounds of meat used to make tacos

Times blow dyer used to dry clothes from spilled soup

Cups of Soup seved each day

Daily Facts and Figures at SAR (Cover the column on the right and see if you can guess!)

Submitted by: Chavie Wilner

It's That "Find" of Week

Bereishit 24:15- Rivka went to the well with a "pitcher"

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516 B.C.E.

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[i] The conven onal way of understanding the verse is that this one na on has a religion that is different from any other religion. However the word ‫ שונה‬can be understood to mean taught or learned from as opposed to different. [ii] Adapted from a Drasha in the name of Rabbi Meir Shapira, founder of the Daf Yomi study program.

Haman

Sincerely,

Marsanah let me know what you think of the plan. In the interim I will be at the tailor trying to fix my hat, a horse ran over it and created a cap with three pointy corners!

There is one nation whose religion is learned from foreign nations. Taking a look back at history, we see that many of the Jewish holidays are born after their victory against national threats. After defeating the threat of Egypt and king Pharoah, the holiday of Passover was created. Likewise after overcoming the Greeks and Antiochous, the holiday of Chanukah was born (really this hasn’t happened yet). Let us convince King Achashverosh to threaten the existence of the Jews so that they can make a comeback and create a festive holiday in honor of their victory[ii].

Congratulations on reaching our fourth year as the highest ranking officials serving the king. Recently, I have spent several sleepless nights thinking about what to do with the Jewish people that live amidst us. They have been such an asset to our flourishing society. At the king's lavish feast spanning several months, we really saw how the Jews know how to party. I was thinking about instituting a special holiday for the Jews to enjoy and celebrate. ("‫ח‬:‫ודתיהם שונות מכל עם" )מגילה ג‬...‫[ישנו עם אחד‬i]

Dearest Marsanah,

Shushan

Historians were amazed last week to find a letter dating back to 516 B.C.E. The letter sheds a new light on the Haman we thought we knew. One may reconsider and conclude ‫ברוך המן‬.

By: Rabbi Tzvi Geffner

‫דבר תורה‬

A: Because it says in the Megillah: Gam Vashti hamalka astah “mishtey” nashim!

Q: How do we know that Vashti was cloned?

PURIM RIDDLE:

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9. One may not write in an anecdotal neither a nickname nor a term of endearment, nor a slang name nor hyphenate a name not hyphenated nor omit a hyphen from a hyphenated name. Only a legal name, as recorded in the holy register of SMS may be used.

8. Some authorities permit snacking on sour bears, sour straps, sour belts, and Jelly Belly jelly beans, but the G-d fearing will withhold their tongues from such tastes, in keeping with the verse: “ As ye sour, so shall ye weep.”

7. When does this apply--when years are normal and the people of Israel dwell in their land. But nowadays, the weight of the exile is heavy upon us and through our many sins, allergies have descended upon us, and therefore any snack with nuts or traces of nuts or produced on machinery that processes nuts or produced in a facility that contains machinery that processes nuts will bring upon us the wrath of the nurses’ station, and so one may only snack on celery and cardboard.

6. One may not sit down to write anecdotals without first providing the proper snacks. The following are acceptable snacks for the writing of anecdotals: Swiss fudge cookies, Cookies and Cream Ice Cream, Oreo Cookies, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Milky-Way Bars, Kit-Kats and Dunkin Donuts.

5. The most auspicious hours for the writing of anecdotals are between 12 and 3 in the morning, for it is then that the truly pious recite Tikkun Chatzot, mourning the destruction of the temple and the loss of old fashioned report cards. Their tears affect the Shekhina in exile, and G-d Himself rises from the throne of Judgment to sit on the throne of Mercy, from which He sends an email to all staff to persevere in meeting the deadlines for their labors.

4. Evening hours before chatzot (midnight) are unsuitable for the writing of anecdotals, as they must be used to discharge one’s obligation to watch American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.

3. Spare time during the school day is inappropriate for the writing of anecdotals, as it must be used for online shopping, the reading of email and the exchange of recipes in the teachers’ room.

--laundry that needs doing --papers that need grading --netflix that need returning --sweaters that need Wooliting

2. It is forbidden to begin writing anecdotals if one has:

1. MiShenichnas Anecdotals Marbin BiProcrastination

By: Rabbi Moshe Rosenberg

Hilchot Anecdotals

Shemot 4:4- "And he put out his hand, and caught it"

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Bamidbar 11:32 - "Ten homers"

Don't miss your chance to win this time! One winner, chosen at random, will win the opportunity to be entered into another raffle! Proceeds benefit the SAR Raffle.

Exciting new SAR Raffle!

New SAR Raffle!

Anecdotal Song—Song composed by Andy Sandler listing all the famous people in history who wrote anecdotals. Went instantly viral. (Sample lyric: Joseph in his coat/Kohen Gadol with his goat/Solomon in his mote/each wrote an anecdote)

Richter Scale—scale used to weigh sets of 1-5 grade anecdotals.

RonenRun-in—an associate principal’s attitude when your anecdotals are late.

SaurKrauss—a principal’s mood when your anecdotals are late.

14. Glossary of key terms for the modern anecdotal: EinSchloss—the locking down of the anecdotal system at a time decreed by Debby Schloss

13. The following are acceptable reasons to pause in the writing of anecdotals: a crying baby, a ringing doorbell, a full bladder, a sweet tooth, an urge to burp, a rerun of Gilligan’s Island. Whoever is strict in this matter is to be praised.

12. In the times of yore, it was believed that just as the absence of the blue strands of the Tzitzit do not hinder the mitzvah fulfillment of one who wears the white, so too the absence of the anecdotals of one teacher do not hinder the sending of the rest. More recent authorities, however, have ruled that osin anecdotals havilot havilot—that is, anecdotals may only be sent all or nothing.

11. In the days of yesteryear it was mistakenly thought that anecdotal deadlines were Biblical obligations. Later authorities, however, arrived at a consensus that such dates were neither Biblically nor Rabbinically mandated, but were a custom of the righteous (midat hasidut) not meant for the rank and file of teachers.

10. The righteous teachers of early generations wrote their anecdotals in pen and in pencil and in marker. They included course descriptions and pronouns. On occasion they said what they meant. But when the Torah was given, the Halakha changed, and one may only write anecdotals online, with proper names and blessed obfuscation.

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Note: All Submissions to the Community Events section are due to [email protected] the Tuesday prior to publication in copy ready format. Does anyone even read this? Just wondering. Happy Purim.The Chadashot reserves the right to further edit submissions due to space constraints.

!‫חג שמח‬

Next week we will be back to our regularly scheduled Chadashot!

Please help us find a new name for this unfortunate school in California. Send suggestions to: [email protected]

Community Events

Mish'lay 18:10 - "The righteous run into it, and is safe"

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