St Columbanus Ballyholme

Baptism: Family Matters The birth of a child is a cause for joy and celebration to be shared by the whole Church. At St Columbanus we long to welcome new children to be part of the regular life and worship of our Christian family. We love to see babes in arms being brought to Church Sunday by Sunday – and they are welcome however much noise they make! The sheer physical effort of getting a family up and out each week is not lost on us. The first couple of years can be extremely trying and we don’t under-estimate the stress there can be in making it along to Church on Sunday mornings. We are currently looking for practical ways to make this easier for you as parents. In the meantime, we are so glad you have decided to ask for God’s blessing on your child and this booklet explains what we can offer you. Your enquiries are always welcome, whatever your personal situation and they are best initiated with the clergy on your way out of Church on Sunday. It is you we would rather talk to by the way rather than well-meaning grandparents or other relatives. Please don’t be shy!

What is Baptism - with integrity? A child is in every sense a miracle of God’s creation and it is right that we want to celebrate such a wonderful gift. The mission of the Church in obedience to Christ is and always has been to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. For the Baptism of infant children to have any integrity, it is essential that at least one parent be a regular worshipping Churchgoer and able as such to keep their promise to bring their child up in the Christian faith. The onus is very much on Mums and Dads. Obviously where parents have not demonstrated the necessary commitment, in other words where they have made no genuine effort to be faithful in worship, to proceed with Baptism under such circumstances would be meaningless. While most people have their own idea of what they think Let the children come to me presenting their child for Baptism signifies, our Church lays out its understanding in quite specific terms.

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The word Baptism comes from a Greek word meaning ‘dip’, ‘immerse’, ‘submerge’ or ‘wash’. The picture is of someone being made clean or having their sins washed away and receiving God’s forgiveness. Whether this is done in a river, in a pool or at the font in a Church makes no difference (font is the Old English word for fountain). The point is, water is used in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Jesus was brought by his parents to the Temple as a newborn baby. In that spirit, from its earliest post New Testament days the Church has been happy to baptize children on the basis of Christ’s command to let the children come to him. According to the Scriptures whole households were baptized together, and since none of us can ever be ‘worthy’ of the Sacrament there is little argument, as we see it, to impose any arbitrary limits in terms of age. The children of believing parents have a special place in the economy of God, it’s as simple and beautiful as that. Before the start of his public ministry Jesus Christ was himself baptized by John in the River Jordan. In receiving Baptism Jesus identified himself as fully human – and as Christ emerged from the water again, the voice of God identified him as fully divine. This mystery of humanity and divinity goes to the heart of who the Church believes Jesus to be. In Baptism, Christ brings us to the Father and does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Everyone needs forgiveness and the basic teaching of Christianity is that God’s love for us led Jesus to the cross to bear our sins. Baptism calls us to admit our need of forgiveness and through the deep waters of Christ’s death to receive God’s washing and setting free for ourselves. Like Holy Communion, Holy Baptism is a Sacrament: an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace. Throughout the New Testament two things are required of those wishing to be baptized: faith and repentance. Of course a baby cannot experience faith and repentance in the way that an adult can. This makes the faith and repentance of the parents and godparents absolutely critical. Children are baptized on the express understanding that their parents – as regular, worshipping Christians – will nurture those in their care in the faith until they come to believe in Christ for themselves. In the end, belief is a personal choice. It certainly isn’t instilled by coercion or brow-beating. Yet the clear premise of infant Baptism is that believing parents will witness what they believe to their children. It is not enough that parents leave the job of Christian witnessing to what might be picked up in Church or in Children’s Church. While obviously we hope this will be of value in itself, it’s what Mum and Dad witness to at home that’s paramount. 2

A child who is not baptized is not in any kind of spiritual danger. Most people in most churches don’t think like that any more. Baptism is not ‘magic’. It is not a superstitious matter of ‘getting the child done’, just in case anything terrible should happen to him or her. What sort of God would hold it against a child that it had not some water splashed on its head? Not the sort of God most of us would want to worship, that’s for sure. Baptism is no longer seen as some kind of spiritual insulation or insurance policy. But a grounding in faith, worship and prayer in the early years is, we believe, the best of all starts for children. To do without that, is surely a far greater loss than parents not standing up in church to make empty promises. In effect, Baptism is a lifestyle choice. It involves parents and godparents making a direct, public promise that they are going to bring their children regularly to Church and Children’s Church. In Ballyholme parents also sign a simple Promise Form to this effect so they are making a personal written undertaking as well as an oral one before God and the people of God. The list of FAQ’s which follows may shed some more light on things for you. It might also help for you to take a closer look at the Baptism services in the green Book of Common Prayer on page 358.

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Will our child be baptized ‘Church of Ireland’? Baptism is in no sense denominational. All the mainstream churches including the Roman Catholic Church now recognise one another’s Baptism. It has never been clearer than it is today that a child is baptized into the Church of God, not exclusively the Church of Ireland or any other Church.

A ‘Christian’ upbringing A Christian upbringing is more than a matter of personal faith or individual believing. It involves: praying with your child and showing them how to pray, going to Church as a family, teaching children from the Bible (and later teaching them to read the Bible for themselves) and, perhaps above all, demonstrating what it means to live the Christian way of love, compassion and service. Undoubtedly this kind of upbringing will cost you something in effort and energy – especially on Sunday mornings! Baptism will give your child a good start in life but it’s a start which must continue with a Christian upbringing otherwise it is a start of nothing. Ask yourself which seems more honest: making the promises with no intention of seeing them through or deciding the commitment Baptism involves really isn’t what you want to get into? Please also bear in mind that promising to come to Church will not make doing so easy. It may well involve you re-planning the way you spend your Sunday or indeed your whole weekend. You will have less time to cook the lunch, wash the car and cut the grass – though under God still enough! You will see on a Sunday morning at St Columbanus that many families just like you are choosing to make a real priority of Sunday space for God each week.

Must we go to Church? That’s certainly what you promise to do in the Baptism service: to help your child ‘take his or her place within the life and worship of Christ’s Church’. By all means bring your children along to one or other of our weekly youth organisations or to our Easter or summer holiday programme but this is not directly what you are undertaking to do. Parents promise not only to teach their children to go to Church and Children’s Church but to set them an example by going to Church themselves. All they can do after that is to pray that the example they set will be followed by their children. At times it will take a real battle to get the family out to Church and there are some weeks when with the best will in the world it just won’t happen. But if you have no intention of even trying it is probably better that your child should be allowed to choose for themselves about Baptism later on in their lives. People can be baptized at any age. 4

Crèche As you know, everything connected with children these days is subject to the most stringent requirements and regulations. At times these safeguards can seem over the top but they are all in the interests of protecting our children. Where the rules really bear down on us is in the whole area of ratios: for every set number of children a corresponding number of suitably checked and trained adult leaders is required. In short, this means that to ensure our crèche can run to its fullest possible capacity we now ask all parents bringing children for Baptism to take their turn on the crèche rota and to complete the paper work for an official clearance. Your co-operation with this is much appreciated and the clergy will bring the relevant forms when they call to talk you through the service.

Choosing Godparents This is a tough one because they take on a great responsibility. Both parents and Godparents promise to see that the child is brought up in the life of the Church, and in their own time commits his or her life to Christ, receives Confirmation (the laying on of hands by the Bishop when they make the Baptism promises their own) and learns to play his or her full part in Christ’s family. For every child brought for Baptism there must be two or more Godparents. Two God mothers or God fathers is perfectly acceptable and they may be either friends or members of your extended family. The only Church of Ireland condition is that they must themselves be baptized. Godparents do not need to be members of the Church of Ireland but, because they are required to be baptized, members of other non-Christian religions may not stand as Godparents. Certainly they may stand as Sponsors, but baptized Godparents will also be required. Godparents are not legal guardians but they are chosen to share in the responsibility of your child’s spiritual formation. Arguably the greatest responsibility of a Godparent is to pray for their Godchild every day so at the very least you want to choose a person whom you know for certain says their prayers.

Baptism Preparation A member of the clergy will arrange to meet with you in the run up to the service. Ideally both parents will be present for this and if the Godparents want to be there too, all the better. This is the point where the Promise Form is completed and where the simple practicalities of the service itself are explained so that everyone knows more or less what to do on the day. Sometimes parents who are new to Church or rediscovering their faith want to re-visit the basics of Christian belief for themselves. The parish clergy will be happy to help with this and will be glad to receive any such enquiries from people wishing to explore afresh the claims of Christianity or to make some sort of new personal spiritual commitment. 5

What if we’re new to St Columbanus? We were all new to St Columbanus once upon a time! For many people bringing a child for Baptism can be a way back into the spiritual life of the parish, a time of seeing the value of faith in a fresh way and of acknowledging what was good and true in the values of Christ imparted by well‑intentioned parents the generation before. Also, many new families join us as members at the point when their first child is born and we are delighted to welcome them. All we ask is that a reasonable pattern of regular worship be established over a period of months.

Fixing a date We realise that families and friends are often travelling a long way to share in these special occasions. Since all our Baptisms take place during Church on a Sunday (private Baptisms are only conducted in emergencies) the frequency of Baptisms in Ballyholme means that we simply must space them out to give balance to our Sunday worship programme. This means that your preferred date may not always be workable so please speak to the clergy before setting your hearts on a date that may suit you and your family but simply may not be possible for us. Baptism is rightly seen as a special gift for families who do their best to be committed to Christ and His Church. It is never a right to be demanded for its own sake and we would ask that a new family respect the sanctity of what they are asking for. Undue haste can give the impression that a family has no real plan to commit in the way that Christian Baptism requires them to. In these days of scattered families dates are often agreed four or five months ahead or sometimes even longer.

Is there any charge or fee? No. The gift of grace conferred by Baptism is freely given by God and must be freely received by us. Accordingly there are absolutely no fees for Baptisms at Ballyholme. As with Weddings and Funerals, since Baptism is for those who belong to the parish as members and give regularly to our running costs anyway, the clergy would ask not to be offered any ‘payment’ for conducting the service.

Tea and coffee after the service Coffee and tea are always served after the 10 o’clock service in the Parish Centre. Please do join us and give the Church family an opportunity to coo over its newest members.

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What if we don’t belong or live in another parish? Normally, only parish families may bring children for Baptism in Ballyholme. In other words if you are not yourselves members of the parish we will be glad to welcome you as new members! If you live somewhere else and belong to another Church but for good reason wish to be baptized in St Columbanus, perhaps because you have strong family ties to Ballyholme, you will be asked for a letter from the church you attend locally to confirm (1) that you are committed members there, and (2) that we have the permission of that minister for us to celebrate the Baptism in Ballyholme. (The parish clergy will communicate with your minister once you give them details.) This is not just a matter of professional courtesy between clergy but if you live somewhere else the Ballyholme staff will not be in a position to offer follow-up pastoral care and help with the spiritual nurture of your little ones. The rules which bind all Church of Ireland clergy do not give them general licence to baptise anyone who does not live within the boundaries of their respective parishes.

What if we’re not comfortable with Infant Baptism? Perhaps Infant Baptism was not part of your own family Church tradition. If you do not wish to have your child baptized as an infant but you want to acknowledge God and seek his help in your child’s upbringing we will be happy to offer you a service of Thanksgiving (see the green Book of Common Prayer page 402). If you have strong family or personal links with Ballyholme you will see from the introduction to the service that a Thanksgiving service may also be appropriate when a child has already been baptized elsewhere. A Thanksgiving is a celebration to mark the birth and naming of your child. We give thanks for his or her new life and we commit both you and your child to God, asking for his help and blessing in the years to come. It’s a way in which parents can express their gratitude for the birth of their child and where the Church members present can welcome you and promise to pray for you. Of course children can always be baptized later on as well, when you or when your child (once older and able to understand the promises) wants this. Either way, whether you opt for Baptism or, in good Christian conscience Thanksgiving, your child’s spiritual ‘status’ before God is the same.

Who do we speak to, to get things started? The first thing to do is to introduce your new bundle of joy to the parish clergy on your way out of Church some Sunday morning – it will make their day to meet them! For all follow-up enquiries, or to arrange a time to meet with a member of the clergy please contact the Parish Office 02891 274912 To stay updated, keep checking the parish website www.ballyholmeparish.co.uk 7

For the Children… Crèche & Children’s Church Sunday mornings during the 10 o’clock service Our crèche is run by parents and meets in the Columbanus Room. Once children are part of a playgroup they graduate to the youngest of our Children’s Church groups. Some places call it Sunday School or Kids Club, we call it Children’s Church. Basically we’re talking about the teaching we offer to our children during the weekly Sunday service at 10 o’clock. Starting off in church, the children come out for a time of age friendly worship, games and craft all centred on the bible stories of the day. There are currently three age groups: Bubbles, Splash and Ice, (based on the Scripture Union resource we use) and the children learn more or less the same thing that is being taught in ‘Big Church’.

Parents & Toddlers Thursdays 10.30am in the Parish Centre Mums and Dad’s (or Grannies and Grandpas) can have a chat and a cup of coffee while the infants and toddlers play at their feet. With plenty of toys to amuse the children and plenty of chat to occupy the adults, we’re open to everyone but closed through the school holidays.

Jumpin’ Jumpin’ is our holiday bible club. It normally runs for a few days over the Easter break and for a week in the summer. This is open to anyone of Primary School age and details are always circulated a couple of months before each event.

Tuesdays 5pm in the Parish Centre Rainbows are the youngest section of the Guide Association. Girls can start at age 4 and stay until they are 7. Our meetings are held on Tuesday afternoons, during term-time. The meetings are fun and we usually do craft one week and play games the next.

Fridays 6pm in the Parish Centre As part of the Scouting Association, Squirrels are for the younger boys, aged 4-6 years old. We encourage boys to join in and to share. We do crafts, play games and have various visitors through the course of our annual programme. Various children and youth organisations are independently run in our Parish Halls. Please be aware that no preferential treatment is given to children from Ballyholme Parish. Each group is over subscribed and therefore it is crucial that parents register their children early to avoid disappointment. For more information on any of the above please contact The Parish Office - 91274912 8