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A Look into the Lives of Tibetan Females in Exile

Sarah Cordes Professor Tara Doyle 15 August 2004 Emory-IBD Tibetan Studies Program Dharamsala, India (Spring 2004)

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This paper is dedicated to all the women who let me into their lives during my time in India. I wish to extend my deepest gratitude to all the participants of my research, who would tirelessly answer my questions for hours on end. A special thanks to Pema Lhamo, who acted as a translator for me on several occasions. The willingness to help I received was overwhelming, and I hope this paper can do justice to the women it portrays.

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Introduction I had the opportunity to study at the College of Higher Tibetan Studies, Sarah Campus1, for six weeks in January and February 2004. Sarah is located near Mcleod Ganj in northern India, which is the home of the Tibetan government in exile and the Dalai Lama. It is one of the only university level institutes which focuses on Tibetan Studies, and houses and educates both lay and monastic students. During the weeks I spent studying at Sarah, I became good friends with a number of the female students. I spent hours sitting and talking with them, trying to satisfy the mutual curiosity in our relationship. “What is America like? Do you really wear clothes like that at home? Do you have a boyfriend?” And in return, they heard “Do you miss Tibet? Where is your family? What happens when you finish your studies?” They asked me about Leonardo DiCaprio and gave me prayer beads to help in my Christian practice, I asked them about the Dalai Lama and showed them my favorite parts of the Bible. Over time I became extremely interested in the situation of the Tibetan female in exile. Questions began to build in my mind while hearing about their experiences. What roles had carried over for them from Tibet and what had changed? How did their education influence their goals? What did they see as different between their mothers’ lives and their own? Do they hope to have a career, a family, or a little bit of both, and what is the status of gender equality in the exile community? Basically, who is the Tibetan female student in exile today? These questions transformed into the foundation of my research, and through the information I compiled I will present a portrait of the

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The College of Higher Tibetan Studies, Sarah Campus, will be referred to as Sarah from herein.

4 Tibetan female student in exile, an important part of the Tibetan exiled society which has been largely overlooked in academic research. Methodology Using questionnaires and interviews, Tibetan women living at Sarah answered questions to aid in understanding their role in exile today. All of these interviews took place between April 21 and May 10, 2004, and when direct quotes are used in this paper the grammar has been corrected. These questions divide into three main identifying categories: education, marriage, and gender equality. In addition to selecting lay women as informants, I found it essential to include the nuns in the monastic community at Sarah. My research includes results found through interviewing eleven lay students and four nuns from Sarah as well as two nuns from Dolma Ling nunnery, all of whom gave me permission to use their names in this paper. I also draw on a number of written sources. In this paper, the first three sections (education, marriage, and gender equality) refer only to information gathered through lay students, followed by information about nuns in the monastic community. While the eleven lay students I talked to were all Sarah College students and this gave me an accurate look at the Tibetan female student college age population, the nuns I spoke with had a more varied background. Four were students at Sarah College, two were nuns at Dolma Ling nunnery, and the last was Ani Tenzin Palmo-la, a prominent Western nun at Dongyu Gatsal Ling; this enabled me to see a more comprehensive picture of the nun community by learning about the lives of nuns at different places in their journey.

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Education Introduction Education is the single largest factor which influences the way Tibetan women in exile view themselves and their roles as Tibetan women. Education is the reason they came from Tibet, and they look at their education as the reason why they willingly sacrificed their home and family. Because the state of education in Tibet today is deplorable and the options for uneducated women in Tibet are extremely limited, many girls are choosing to come to India in order to obtain an education. This is also the self proclaimed largest difference between Tibetan women in Tibet and Tibetan women in India today. Having sacrificed their home and family for this education, many students today are reluctant to get married soon because they fear that being married will take away opportunities to use their education in meaningful ways. These meaningful ways almost always involve serving the Tibetan community in some way, whether through teaching at the Tibetan Children’s Village or working for the Tibetan government in exile. These women are determined to preserve the Tibetan culture and serve their country to the best of their ability. Education in Tibet: Why Girls are Coming to India Every female I interviewed who came from Tibet to India came in order to receive an education; the age upon arrival in India was between five and fourteen. The status of education in Tibet is currently very discriminatory towards Tibetans, and especially Tibetan women. In 2000, it was “estimated that roughly one-third of Tibetan

6 children receive no education at all, compared to 1.5% of Chinese children”2. The stories heard in my interviews echoed the stories told in other sources. Education in Tibet today is focused on Chinese studies and contains very little, if any, curriculum on the Tibetan culture. Schools in Tibet have become a means for the Chinese government to further eradicate the Tibetan culture, by forbidding the younger generation to learn about and express their Tibetan roots. Catriona Bass writes in Education in Tibet: Policy and Practice since 1950 that China desires for TAR (the Tibetan Autonomous Region) to identify strongly with China, and that in implementing this “education the vehicle through which this identification and patriotism was to be instilled”3. It has been discovered that often Tibetan students are not allowed “to wear Tibetan clothing, observe Tibetan holidays, or to eat Tibetan food”4. Many students have said that this injures them not only because they cannot learn about their culture, but since they do not know the Chinese language in which all their classes are taught, they often do worse academically than their Chinese counterparts as well. The NGO Alternative Report on Tibetan Women states that “as a result of not being able to understand the language, Tibetan children are often tracked away from other students into inferior facilities and assigned less qualified teachers”5. Since many families desire their children to understand and love the Tibetan culture, which is difficult to accomplish in Tibet, it is necessary for students to go to India and the Tibetan exile community in order to receive a Tibetan education.

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Tibetan Women’s Association. NGO Alternative Report on Tibetan Women. Dharamsala: TWA, 2000. pp. 29 Hereafter cited as TWA 3 Bass, Catriona. Education in Tibet: Policy and Practice since 1950. London: Zed Books, 1998. pp. 22 Hereafter cited as Bass. 4 TWA pp. 30 5 Ibid., pp. 30

7 The cost of education in Tibet is another strong deterrent for many Tibetan families. For many Tibetans living in rural areas, schools are virtually unaffordable. The cost of schooling ranges from twenty to six thousand yuan (US $3 to $750) per month; most Tibetans who live in rural areas (85% of the Tibetan population) earn an average of 800 yuan (US $100) per month.6 Bass reports that school fees in rural areas are significantly higher than those in urban areas due to the fact that state-run schools, which are government-funded, are primarily located in urban areas, while many rural schools need to raise their own funds, which leads to increased fees.7 Most of these obstacles to education apply to all Tibetan children regardless of gender. However, it has been reported that illiteracy among Tibetan women is much higher than among Tibetan men. Bass states that while 73.3 per cent of Tibetans living in Tibet in 1990 were illiterate or semi-illiterate, 84.2 per cent of Tibetan women in Tibet were illiterate or semi-illiterate. She suggests that girls are more likely to leave school than boys because they are usually given more responsibility at home with domestic chores.8 Pema and Yangzom, two lay students at Sarah College, were both born and raised in rural areas of Kham. They came to India in 1992 in order to receive an education, which neither was able to do in Kham due to lack of money. In addition to not having the money required to attend school, they also said that there were no facilities close to them and schools taught only Chinese curriculum. Pema and Yangzom were not the only

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Ibid., pp. 28-30 Bass, pp. 131 8 Ibid., pp. 206 7

8 children with this problem; it is so common in their area that no girls in Pema’s village had received an education before her.9 While Pema and Yangzom encountered virtually all the obstacles which face Tibetan children seeking an education (lack of money, close facilities, and a Tibetan curriculum), all the girls I interviewed who came from Tibet were challenged by at least one. Lhamo was raised in Lhasa by her sister, and she had both enough money and nearby schools, but there was nowhere for her to go to learn about the Tibetan culture, or even to learn the Tibetan language. Because of this, at the age of fourteen her sister sent her to India to study.10 Besides education, the other huge draw of the Tibetan exile community in India is the presence of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who resides in Mcleod Ganj, Dharamsala. The Dalai Lama is the spiritual head of Tibet, and is loved deeply by many Tibetans living in both Tibet and in exile. Pema told me in an interview that no one in her village had ever seen the Dalai Lama and so they used to pretend he was in the moon so in a way, they could see him.11 Because he has not been to Tibet since he left in 1959, those living in Tibet have little hope of seeing him there again; this, in addition to desiring an education, is why so many young Tibetans are coming to India today. Education as a formative part of identity As shown in the above section, an education is something which was strongly desired by these Tibetan women and their families. All of the girls who came from Tibet have mothers who were not able to receive an education; because of this and the more rigid social structure in Tibet, all of their mothers, and most of their older sisters, are 9

Interview 25 April 2004 Interview 25 April 2004 11 Interview February 2004 10

9 housewives. Lack of education in Tibet forms part of a Tibetan woman’s identity by defining what they are capable of doing, or rather what they are allowed to do. In an interview with Yangzom, she told me that she thinks many societies discourage women and do not give them a chance; specifically, she believes that Tibetan society does this due to the lack of education for females.12 She elaborated for me by writing: Most of the women around the villages in Tibet can’t get an education and so they remain housewives. In India, women are not like women in Tibet, they have a strong determination to stand by oneself and they don’t hope to depend on husband’s job. They have a strong desire to work as their husbands do.13 Similar sentiments were echoed in other students’ interviews. Jangchup Dolma said that one of the main differences she sees between Tibetan women living in Tibet and those living in India is that most women in Tibet are uneducated and illiterate, and because of this they cannot get good jobs so they have to stay at home. Lhamo Kyi wrote that “those women who are living in Tibet . . . most of them [are] working in the kitchen (housewife) and looking after their children.” Just as lack of education plays a large role in the identity of women still living in Tibet, education plays a large role in the identity of women living in exile. Being officially educated presents opportunities to these Tibetan women which would not have been possible had they stayed in Tibet. They know this, and it is why their families have sent them to India. Having an education as a woman means that they do not need to rely on a man and that they do not necessarily need to be a housewife; they have other options now. For most of these women, means they have the option of having a career. Lhamo told me that in India she sees “most of [the women] working in office, teaching in the 12 13

Interview 25 April 2004 Written questionnaire 22 April 2004

10 schools and doing business.”14 They also see education as a way to help the Tibetan community. Possible careers include becoming a teacher or a government worker, the two most available and common jobs for young Tibetans living in exile. Of the eleven female lay students I interviewed, six hope to be teachers, two hope to work in the Tibetan government in exile, and three do not know specifically what they want to do, but know that they want to do something that will benefit the Tibetan people and the Tibetan cause. In all three of these possibilities, the underlying motivation is to help the Tibetan community. Sonam Paldon, one of the girls who is uncertain about what she wishes to do, wrote “I hope after finishing the education to help our nation and I want to do something to help others.”15 The two other girls uncertain about their future plans, Dolma and Tenzin, more simply told me that they hope “to serve the Tibetan community.”16 Jangchup, one of the girls who hopes to become a teacher, wrote “I hope to educate our future generations and serve my mother land to become a peace creating land in this tragic world.”17 Another factor in so many women wishing to become teachers is that all the girls I interviewed who want to be teachers were educated at the Tibetan’s Children Village (TCV), and feel deep gratitude for the education and care they received while attending TCV.18 They wish to repay that kindness by serving TCV after finishing their education. Sangay Tsamchoe and Pema Lhamo both specifically told me

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Interview 25 April 2004 Written questionnaire 23 April 2004 16 Written questionnaires 21 April 2004 17 Written questionnaire 25 April 2004 18 The Tibetan Children’s Village was founded in 1962 with the blessing of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It was created to house, educate, and care for the thousands of Tibetan refugee children who arrived in India with no parents. Today there are five separate villages spread throughout the exile community in India which house over 14,500 Tibetan children. (http://www.tibchild.org/TCV.htm) 15

11 that they hope to serve the TCV Pema elaborated by writing “I am so willing to work in our society and specially, I have to repay the kindness of TCV with gratitude.”19 As shown somewhat already, the issue of Tibetan identity is huge in most aspects of the Tibetan woman’s life. The preservation of the Tibetan culture was a large part of many families deciding to send their children from Tibet to India, and after receiving an education in India, most Tibetan women desire to use it only to serve their nation. During my interviews, it seemed that all of these young women identify themselves first as a Tibetan and second as a woman. Because the Tibetan culture is being threatened by the Chinese government, it has become very important for most Tibetans to preserve the culture of Tibet in whatever way possible; this shapes most of the decisions made by these young women, whether it be career or family choices. Marriage Introduction Traditionally, marriage and family have been huge components of a Tibetan woman’s life and identity. In Tibet, most marriages are arranged by parents or other family members, and being married is important and desired for all those not in the monastic community. For many women, particularly those living in rural communities, marriage is the only “career” available. This way of life has changed in several ways for women living in exile. Because many of them are able to obtain education in exile, there are many more career options available. Many Tibetan women interviewed want to use their education to help Tibet and feel that marriage would not allow this to happen. However, many of the women wish to marry to aid in an effort to keep the Tibetan population maintained. Because the Chinese government strictly regulates birth control 19

Written questionnaires 21-22 April 2004

12 policies in Tibet (TAR) and many Tibetans feel that their survival as a nation is being threatened, some women in exile feel that it is their duty to marry within the Tibetan community and have children. Tibetan women in exile can freely do this as opposed to the women who are still living in Tibet. Finally, more and more Tibetans in exile are marrying for love as opposed to the traditional arranged marriages of Tibet. Differences in Marriage in Tibet and India: Arranged Vs. Love Of the fifteen women interviewed, there were only two cases of love marriage in their families.20 All the other parents and siblings of the women had arranged marriages. However, arranged marriages in exile are much rarer, and in India, love marriages are the accepted norm. During a group interview with Yangzom, Lhamo, and Pema, they shared their opinions on why this is with me: In Tibet, arranged marriages are okay and they work because the people are very similar and there is a set pattern to how life works; arranged marriages are part of that pattern. However, in exile there is a very different way of life which is not as set, and people are very different too. In addition to this, arranged marriages work in Tibet because the families arrange the matches. In India, many young people (including all three of them) have no family with them and therefore there is no one to arrange the marriages.21 Lobsang Paldon gave me another insight into marriage in Tibet and how that shapes her views. Lobsang was born and raised in Amdo until the age of fourteen when she left to come to India in order to receive an education. In the village she grew up, love

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Phunkyi, parental love marriage- Interview 28 April 2004 and Lobsang, mother’s second marriageInterview 28 April 2004 21 Interview 25 April 2004

13 marriages were not allowed and parents would kick out children who had them.22 Her parents had an arranged marriage, but divorced after having two children because her father drank and beat her mother. Lobsang’s mother left her children in Amdo with their grandmother, moved to Lhasa, and remarried, this time for love. Lobsang told me that her mother hates her father. Now, Lobsang desires to have a love marriage, firstly because there would be no one to arrange a marriage for her, and secondly because she believes that “love marriages are more beneficial because you choose to share love and passion and you know each other. The other way, maybe or maybe not there will be love.” She also told me that she considers the right of women to choose their own partner one of the two greatest advantages of being in exile (the other being the right to education).23 This sentiment seems to be shared by all the women I interviewed, as all of them say that if they marry it will not be arranged. One of the only accounts of a woman’s encounters with marriage in pre-Chinese occupied Tibet is found in the memoirs of Ani Pachen, Sorrow Mountain. In this account of a woman who becomes a nun and then a leader in the fight against China, she is first going to be given in a marriage arranged by her father to a man she does not know. Ani Pachen writes that she feels as if “they’re treating me like a possession to be traded at whim”.24 However, at the same time her best friend is married and is thrilled at her match; this look into Tibetan village marriage seems to echo what Lobsang says: maybe there will be love, and maybe not. 22

Lobsang told me that in cities the situation was very different, and she would estimate that in Lhasa about half of marriages were arranged and half were for love. 23 Interview 28 April 2004 24 Pachen, Ani and Adelaide Donnelley. Sorrow Mountain. New York: Kodansha America, Inc, 2000. pp. 17

14 The Effect of Education and Societal Pressure on Marriage As shown in the education section of this paper, the reason all these women came to India from Tibet as children was to receive an education. Leaving Tibet was a huge sacrifice for these women, as they were leaving behind their homeland and especially their families. Education has become very valuable to them now, as the price they paid was very high. Due to these feelings, many women are worried about getting married and not being able to use their education. Phunkyi, a twenty year old woman who arrived in India at the age of twelve and desires to work in the government, says she does not wish to get married because in order “to succeed in ambitions, I have to be single—if I get married, there are home responsibilities”.25 Yangzom agrees, saying that “after I get married, I wouldn’t have the chance to study more and I don’t want to be a housewife so early.”26 Although Phunkyi does not express any desire to marry now, she told me that she will probably end up married someday because there is pressure from the Tibetan society to marry. She said that people say things like “she couldn’t get a boyfriend” about unmarried girls and that it is looked down upon to not have a husband. Phunkyi hopes she can put marriage off until after she fulfills her ambitions.27 Tenzin Dolma had similar opinions, saying that she wants to get married “because [she doesn’t] want to become nun . . . and in Tibetan community girls living unmarried are look down by people.”28 She thinks that the only acceptable way for a Tibetan girl to remain unmarried is to join the monastic community. However, Pema Lhamo felt differently than Phunkyi and Tenzin

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Interview 28 April 2004 Interview 25 April 2004 27 Interview 28 April 2004 28 Written questionnaire 21 April 2004 26

15 Doma. She feels that it is okay for women in exile to be unmarried because then they can help all the Tibetan children who do not have parents; in fact, Pema feels that being unmarried is a good thing because when married, women have their own children and cannot help others as much. She does acknowledge, however, that many people have many different opinions, and does not claim that her opinion is widespread.29 Reasons for and against Marriage: The Issue of Tibetan Identity Tibetan identity and love of the Tibetan culture is central in all of the women’s reasons to either marry or stay single. Most Tibetans feel that their culture and people is being threatened for survival due to the Chinese occupation and policies in Tibet, and the restrictive birth control methods used against Tibetan women living in the T.A.R. are frightening to many. Because of this many young Tibetan women who live in exile feel that it is their duty to marry within the Tibetan community and have children to counter the threat of genocide. However, many women do not want to get married anytime soon because they desire to use their education in a career which helps the Tibetan cause, such as teaching at Tibetan Children’s Village or becoming a government official. The threat of the diminishing Tibetan population is a realistic danger. As shown in the above section on education, the Chinese government is eliminating the culture of Tibet through education and other means; similarly, the people of Tibet are being eliminated by the population control methods and the transport of Chinese nationals into T.A.R. Tears of Silence: A Report on Tibetan Women and Population Control, a Tibetan Women’s Association publication, states that while population control in many nations is a positive policy, “it becomes a major question of national survival in countries that have

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Interview 25 April 2004

16 a small population and especially those under colonization such as Tibet”.30 Tibet is not an overpopulated country and has not been harmed by overpopulation; therefore it can be assumed that the massive amount(s) of population control policies are intended to “reduce the size of the Tibetan population in Tibet”.31 According to the NGO Report, “this constitutes an act of genocide” as defined by the UN Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide: “any act committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial or religious group, including the imposition of measures intended to prevent births within a group”.32 The methods used to control population in the T.A.R. are varied and extensive. The official policy on childbirth in Tibet is a two child allowance, as long as the woman is married and between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five (Tears of Silence, 14)delete.33 Chimi, a Tibetan nurse who worked in Lhasa and was interviewed for Tears of Silence, says that “sterilization is done automatically on women delivering their second child at Chinese hospitals”.34 Sterilization is strongly urged by the government in Tibet, and there have been many reports of coerced sterilization procedures. The Tibetan Centre for Human Rights and Democracy (TCHRD) reports that 1,230 Tibetan women underwent forced sterilization or contraceptive operations between 1996 and 1998.35 Abortion is another popular form of birth control; this can be forcibly applied to women who fall outside of the eligibility requirements to bear children (age, number of children already, etc.).36 30

Tibetan Women’s Association. Tears of Silence. Dharamsala: TWA, 2002. pp. 6 TWA. NGO Report. pp. 14 32 Ibid., pp. 14 33 TWA, Tears of Silence. pp. 14 34 Ibid., pp. 15 35 Ibid., pp. 30 36 Ibid., pp. 26-27 31

17 Economic force is also used to control births. Fines are charged for extra children, as well as threats of loss of jobs or property. Tears of Silence reports that “economic sanctions against Tibetan and Chinese women who have additional children include permanent demotions and the potential loss of employment for both parents, as well as fines from 500 to 3000 yuan”.37 The impact of these measures taken by the Chinese government has already been felt by the Tibetan community. Tibetans are now a minority in the T.A.R., and an estimated four to twenty percent of the Tibetan population is now unable to reproduce.38 The women I interviewed are very aware of these issues and what they mean to them as Tibetan females living outside of Tibet. Pema told me that her mother had six children and had to pay a lot of money to the government. Luckily she had enough money to pay, because if she could not then they were going to take away their fields and animals.39 Stories like this motivate Tibetan women in exile to want lots of children to boost the Tibetan population. Sangay Tsamchoe wrote that her parents want her to marry in two or three years because “they want to increase the Tibetan population.”40 Jangchup Dolma expresses her own desire to help Tibet and sense of duty to the Tibetan people in writing “I do like to get married as I am responsible for my vanishing Tibetan population. I want Tibetans to live forever in this world.” She elaborated by telling me she feels obligated to increase the population here due to the situation in Tibet and the obstacles women there face in wanting to have families.41 Lhamo Kyi, the only woman I interviewed who is already engaged, told me that “I want to get marry because will be not 37

Ibid., pp. 35 Ibid., pp. 42 39 Interview 25 April 2004 40 Written questionnaire 22 April 2004 41 Written questionnaire 25 April 2004; Interview 28 April 2004 38

18 more future generations of Tibetans.”42 Dolma, a Tibetan woman who was born and raised in Dharamsala, wrote that she and her parents wish for her to marry because of the diminishing Tibetan population.43 The other implication of wanting to marry for this reason is the lack of interracial marriages for Tibetans. Because they want to marry to preserve the Tibetan culture, it is necessary for them to marry Tibetan men. Pema and Yangzom told me that interracial marriage is fine for people of other cultures, but due to Tibet’s unique situation as a country in exile and under threat of cultural annihilation, they only want to marry Tibetans.44 These women identify themselves first and foremost as Tibetans, and secondly as women. Their desires to either marry or stay single are based on doing whatever they can in order to help the Tibetan community. Being in exile and fearing for the survival of their culture has shaped these women into caring more for their people than for their individual desires, and this is shown clearly in the issue of marriage and their decisions concerning this. Issues of Women’s Rights and Equality Introduction The existing literature on women’s rights seems to be dominated by Western women, although there is an increasing amount of material done by non-Westerners. In this section I will attempt to present a picture of women’s rights and equality in the Tibetan world, both in Tibet and in exile, through the words and opinions of female students, as well as through some written materials. Background 42

Interview 25 April 2004 Written questionnaire 21 April 2004 44 Interview 25 April 2004 43

19 In two articles, one written by a Tibetan woman and one written by a Western woman, one of the first points made about the female sex in Tibetan culture was the significance of the language used to differentiate the sexes. Barbara Nimri Aziz points out in her article “Moving Towards a Sociology of Tibet” that the full Tibetan word for female is skye-dman, which has the loose English translation of “born low”, while the full Tibetan word for male is khyo-ga, which has the loose translation of “heroic” or “upstanding.” 45 In “Women’s Status in Tibetan Society” by Monsal PeKar Desal, Desal writes: “With her first cry in this world, the birth of a baby girl is an inauspicious sign; she is an inferior sex and thus is called a lower-born”.46 Aziz also writes of the rituals which surround the birth of a boy to protect him; there are no such rituals for baby girls.47 Desal reports that a common saying in Amdo is “kneading makes dough soft and beating makes women obedient”.48 Historically and linguistically, women have been viewed as the lower sex, below men and not as capable as their male counterparts. Although this ideology is rapidly disintegrating and changing, it is useful to know the background of women in Tibet in understanding the current situation of females living in exile such as the ones interviewed for this paper. There is also some overlap in the ways women are treated in the lay community and the monastic community, and I will cover the monastic community later in this paper. Views of Sarah College Students In general, the Sarah women have a very positive opinion of Tibetan women’s rights in exile. Many of them feel that education evens out the inequality which women 45

Aziz, Barbara N. “Moving Towards a Sociology of Tibet”. NY: Snow Lion Publications, 1987. pp. 80 Desal, Monsal P. “Women’s Status in Tibetan Society”. Dharamsala: Multi-Education Editing Center, pp. 2 47 Aziz, pp. 81 48 Desal, pp. 34 46

20 suffered from in Tibet. Jangchup Dolma told me in an interview that she believed women in Tibet had to stay at home and were unable to obtain good jobs due to lack of education; in exile, she believes that “if we have ability, we have opportunities to do anything as men [do].”49 Pema agrees with this assessment of the situation, stating that while in Tibet women are uneducated so they stay at home, in India women are educated and have jobs.50 While this is over simplified, it captures the basic sentiment of the Sarah women: they believe that society will accept them as long as they are qualified. Phunkyi was the sole strong dissenter from this point of view. She emphatically told me that she believes men and women have equal ability, and then discussed the lack of female officials holding high ranking jobs in the exile government. She said that while many women work for the government, most of them have low posts and all the chief officials are men. Her plan to fix this is simple- she will become a chief official in the government.51 Phunkyi is an example of a Tibetan woman who has a goal which has not yet been achieved in exile; since the Tibetan government and community in exile has not been established for very long, many women (and men) are searching for and inventing a place to be in the community. Another issue brought up by Jangchup and Pema was the overall lack of human rights in Tibet at the moment.52 These apply to women in specific ways, such as birth control policies, and to the overall Tibetan community in other ways. Because of this, the girls said it is hard to talk about women’s rights in Tibet right now as given by the Tibetan society, since the Tibetan culture in general is being suppressed.

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Interview 28 April 2004 Interview 25 April 2004 51 Interview 28 April 2004 52 Interviews 25 and 28 April 2004 50

21 Domestic Violence in Tibet While interviewing women about the marriages of their mothers and sisters, I came across two tales of divorce. Curious about what causes divorce in the Tibetan culture, where it does not happen often, I inquired as to the cause of this. Both girls, Lobsang and Lhamo, told me that their mother and sister, respectively, left their husbands because they were being abused. They told me that abuse is basically the only reason for divorce within Tibet (this is more lenient in exile). The story of Lobsang’s mother is given above in the section on marriage,53 and the story of Lhamo’s sister is as follows. Lhamo’s family is from Amdo. Her older sister had an arranged marriage and her husband brought her to Lhasa to live. Lhamo went to live in Lhasa with her sister at a very young age. Her sister had two children with her husband, and then her husband began to abuse her; Lhamo described the abuse as “hitting, scolding, and controlling.” Her sister left her husband and started a business selling butter. Lhamo and Lobsang both told me that abuse is not accepted by society, but it does happen. Both girls are from Amdo, and they and Pema told me that Tibetans all say men in Amdo beat their wives more than in the other regions. Abuse in Tibet is kept as a family matter; they laughed when I asked if their sister and mother called the police. They said that it is kept quiet and within the family, and if it becomes very bad then the wife will leave.54 Domestic violence in Tibet is clearly handled as discretely as possible. There are virtually no resources for abused women, as well as the less tangible lack of discussion of the problem. I could find almost no information or research on domestic violence within

53 54

see pp. 8 Lhamo, Interview 25 April 2004

22 the Tibetan community. Lobsang and Lhamo do not approve of what happened in their families, but they accepted it as a fact of life. Conclusion Issues of women’s rights and equality have changed a great deal in exile. Women now feel that they have an equal chance in the world because they are as educated as the men; despite the lack of prominent females in the government, these young students are confident they will be able to do what they want in exile as long as they have the ability. They no longer choose to see themselves as “born low”, no matter what the language says. Domestic violence in Tibet, while generally disapproved of by society, still occurs with little to no criminal repercussions for the male abuser, and it is still considered a taboo subjects for many Tibetans.55

Nuns and the Monastic Community Introduction In researching Tibetan women, there was a clear difference in the lives of those women who are part of the Buddhist monastic community (nuns) and those who are not (lay women). Issues that were essential to understanding lay women, such as marriage, did not apply at all to nuns; likewise, issues such as giving the geshe degree to women did not apply in any significant degree to lay women. Nuns are also affected by the education now available to them, and issues of women’s rights and equality are acted out in unique ways within the monastic community. Unlike my research on lay Tibetan women, my study was not limited to Sarah College nuns because this would have given a

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The Tibetan Women’s Association, located in Mcleod Ganj, provides counseling to families hurt by domestic violence.

23 more limited view of the nun community; I interviewed four student nuns at Sarah, two nuns at Dolma Ling nunnery, and Ani Tenzin Palmo-la, a prominent Western nun who belongs to Dongyul Gatsal Ling nunnery. The Dalai Lama also plays a more prominent role in the issues of gender equity concerning nuns as His Holiness is also a member of the monastic community

Historical Treatment of Tibetan Nuns In her autobiography Cave in the Snow, Tenzin Palmo describes the situations nuns, herself included, used to face: “[Tibetan nuns] had been forgotten in the haste to rebuild the monasteries for the refugee monks. Consequently they were reduced to cooking in monastery kitchens for the monks or returning home to take up a life of domesticity in order to earn their keep”.56 Karma Lekshe Tsomo writes in her article “Tibetan Nuns and Nunneries” that in the earlier days of modern Tibetan Buddhism a “subtle tendency developed to place greater value on the efforts of men in spiritual matters”.57 Historically, it seems that there has not been a place for women as defined as the place for men within the monastic world. Men have been the founders and leaders of the Tibetan Buddhist tradition; the vast majority of Rinpoches are male, and the leaders of the two largest sects of Tibetan Buddhism, the Dalai Lama and the Karmapa, have both been male in all their rebirths Academically, monks usually studied more and went farther in their education than nuns. Lekshe Tsomo writes that less nuns than monks became instructors due to a lack of higher studies in philosophy; instead nuns focused more on meditational

56 57

Mackenzie, Vicki. Cave in the Snow. London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, 1998. pp. 157 Tsomo, Karma L. “Tibetan Nuns and Nunneries”. NY: Snow Lion Publications, 1989. pp. 122

24 practices.58 After coming into exile during the 1960’s, there were no established nunneries until 1987. During the interim years, nuns had no determined place to be (as described above by Ani Tenzin Palmo-la). However, this situation has drastically changed in the past few decades. Education in the Monastic Community Education for nuns has taken great strides in the past few decades in exile. The Tibetan Nuns Project was founded in 1987 to provide help for nuns fleeing to India from Tibet. It evolved into five separate nunneries in India, all with educational programs for the nuns living in them. The educational programs began because so many nuns receive no education in Tibet and unable to read or write upon arrival in India.59 His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been very supportive of all the steps taken to improve the education and lives of nuns. Dolma Ling is the premier educational facility for nuns in exile; it has a program that instructs the nuns in Tibetan Buddhism and debate along with classes in computers, math, history, the sciences, and basic medical training. It is also one of the only places for nuns to learn the arts of the sand mandala and butter sculpture.60 The Dalai Lama has been very supportive of the construction and establishment of Dolma Ling’s programs. During a speech given at Dolma Ling in 1995, the Dalai Lama said: In ancient Tibet, educational programs were available in some nunneries. But in recent times there are no standard training programs in any of them. Dolma Ling can therefore set a precedent and become a model for Nunneries throughout Tibet.61

58

Ibid., pp. 120 Tibetan Nuns Project. 22 July 2004. http://www.tnp.org/index.html 60 Dolma Ling. 22 July 2004. Tibetan Nuns Project. http://www.tnp.org/nunneries/dolmaling/index.html 61 Ibid. 59

25 Delek Yangdon, a thirty-eight year old nun at Dolma Ling, says that His Holiness helped build the nunnery and was very supportive of the project; in her opinion this helped the nuns to proceed with no opposition from the community.62 This shows both the great strides in education made by Dolma Ling and the other nunneries of the Tibetan Nuns Project and the support and encouragement of the Dalai Lama in the quest of nuns to gain equality in the monastic community. The nuns I interviewed seemed to be cautiously optimistic about the state of education for nuns at the moment. All agree that it has been much improved and that nuns today have more opportunities than nuns in the past, but some of them still feel differences within the community. Ani Lhondup Choedon-la, a first year student at Sarah College, says she believes that “the education of monks is better than nuns.”63. She cites the sand mandalas as an example of this; it is standard for monks to be taught how to make these ancient spiritual art forms, but until recently nuns were never taught this art, and even now it is only taught in selected nunneries (such as Dolma Ling). However, the other Tibetan nuns were more positive about the evolving educational system now available to them. Ani Thupten Kunzes-la says she thinks most nuns today receive a good education in the nunneries, and that nuns can now do the same activities as the monks, such as debating and studying.64. Ani Dekyi Dolma-la, a nun at Dolma Ling, says she feels that monks and nuns are now equal because “[monks] have teachers and books that we all have now, so we are equal”.65

Ani Champa Choetso-la

from Sarah College had a different look at the situation. She believes that monks and

62

Interview 5 May 2004 Interview 28 April 2004 64 Interview 4 May 2004 65 Interview 5 May 2004 63

26 nuns have equal opportunities, but monks are different because they are not shy whereas nuns are “shy, look down, easily discouraged.” Champa believes this is due to a mix of tradition and nature, which is caused by karma.66 Ani Tenzin Palmo-la, who strongly desires and believes in the equality of nuns and monks, said “women are beginning to wake up to their potential and get together and discuss . . . they are becoming more educated, recognizing their own potential, and teaching themselves.”67 While she believes there are still steps to be taken in order for true equality to exist among nuns and monks, she is seeing vast improvements all the time. Nuns are becoming more and more educated with each passing year. Several nuns also emphasized to me that it is not important to worry about the differences between monks and nuns because “both are symbols of Buddha”.68 The nuns I interviewed seemed focused on what is important; this mainly was their practice. Issues of inequality mattered to differing degrees to each individual nun. Ani Tenzin Palmo-la made a clear distinction between what is important in the Buddhist practice (“Buddha nature is non-gender”) and what is important in the worldly aspects of the monastic community.69 Rebirth An issue which came up several times in my reading but never in interviews was the desire of nuns to be reborn as a male. In Cave in the Snow Tenzin Palmo recalls what monks she lived with used to tell her: “They actually told me they prayed that in my next life I would have the good fortune to be reborn as a male so that I could join in all the monastery’s activities. In the meantime, they said, they didn’t hold it too much against

66

Interview 8 May 2004 Interview 30 April 2004 68 Thupten Kunzes, Interview 4 May 2004 69 Interview 30 April 2004 67

27 me that I had this inferior rebirth in the female form”.70 Lekshe Tsomo talks of prayers which imply a desire for male rebirth; she also says that Tibetan women today still often desire male rebirth, or if mothers, they desire male pregnancies.71 Desal recounts a story in her article about a woman speaker at Dolma Ling in 1997 who spoke of her desire to be reborn again in the female form. The nuns in attendance “responded to her that they often pray not to be women again”.72 This suggests that nuns did/do believe their female gender inhibits their spiritual ability and that the linguistic roots of their sex speak truly in naming them lower born. Geshe Degrees An issue which came up repeatedly in my interviews was the non-existence of female geshes.73 Several nuns told me they felt this caused people to not respect nuns as much as monks.74 Lhondup Choedon named the geshe degree as a benefit given to monks and not nuns which inspired more respect for the monks.75 Thupten Kunzes shares this opinion; she stated in an interview that there is a “difference in the way lay people view them because nuns cannot be geshe-las like monks can.”76 This would also be instrumental in increasing the number of female instructors for nuns. Tenzin Palmo believes this will be an important step for equality within the monastic community, as many nuns desire to have female teachers. In an interview, she stated that it is “often

70

Mackenzie, Vicki. pp. 155 Tsomo, L. pp. 122-123 72 Desal. pp. 16-17 73 The geshe degree is the highest academic honor awarded to monks. It is awarded to monks who complete a course of study which usually lasts a minimum of eleven years and then successfully pass a strenuous examination. (http://www.tibet.com/Buddhism/geshe.html) 74 While studying in Dharamsala, I saw the enormous respect paid to monks who had obtained their geshe degree. While any further comment or conclusion would be speculation, I did note the respect given to geshes by the Tibetan community. 75 Interview 28 April 2004 76 Interview 4 May 2004 71

28 very important for women to have female teachers, and nuns are often better at counseling stuff than monks”.77 Student nuns are very hopeful regarding the likelihood of this occurring sometime soon. With the improving education for nuns, they feel this is only a step behind. Delek Yangdon told me that in the past there were no nuns who had enough education to be geshes; now that there are, she believes that within a few years there will be female geshes. “We all hope for this” she said, speaking for her sisters at the nunnery.78 All the nuns I interviewed expressed their hope for this change sometime soon, and this seems to be a prominent issue for nuns in their desire for equal treatment. Conclusion I was often impressed with the peace of mind and steadiness exhibited by the nuns I interviewed. They knew their purpose in life well and were grateful and hopeful regarding the issues we discussed; grateful for what had already been given to them, and hopeful for future improvements. The situation of nuns has improved steadily over the past few decades, and there is a confidence that this trend will continue. Conclusion The Tibetan women in exile are fascinating. In studying their lives, I was able to see how education, family, gender, and most of all national identity were displayed in a group in exile. Living in a land they do not claim as their own affects their decisions, values, and goals an incalculable amount. Education is why they left their families to come to exile, and it is what has given them opportunities which would never have been possible in Tibet. Marriage and family has become an issue of Tibetan identity; women in exile wish to increase the Tibetan population, but they also wish to stay single in order

77 78

Interview 30 April 2004 Interview 5 May 2004

29 to use their education to help the Tibetan community. Most women feel that gender equality has improved immensely in exile; education has equalized the gap and women feel capable to handle anything men can. Within the monastic community, education for nuns has improved a great deal in exile in the past two decades. Now, the main hurdle to overcome for nuns is the awarding of the geshe degree to women. The most interesting thing about this research was learning that these Tibetan women put their national identity before their gender identity. The unique situation of the Tibetan people was shown to have a great impact on this specific group of Tibetan female students living in exile in many different ways. These women chose to study at Sarah and focus on Tibet in their academic careers, and this decision to focus on Tibet has been carried over into most of their other major life decisions. It would be interesting further research to see the impact the situation of Tibet has on male students, and contrast the differences. Also, further research on domestic violence in the community and an expansion of resources for victims would be very useful. This project allowed me to look into the lives of the Tibetan women in exile: their hopes, opinions, struggles, and identities. It was a fascinating experience and again, I wish to thank all the women who allowed me into their lives so that I might share it with others.

Resources Sarah College Students: Champa Choetso Dolma Jangchup Dolma Lhamo Kyi

30 Lhondup Choedon Lobsang Paldon Pema Pema Lhamo Phunkyi Sangay Tsamchoe Sonam Paldon Sonam Yangzom Tenzin Dolma Tenzin Khamdo Thupten Kunzes College for Higher Tibetan Studies, Sarah P.O. Sarah, Dharamsala District Kangra Himachal Pradesh India, 176215 Dolma Ling Nuns: Delek Yangdon Dekyi Dolma Dolma Ling Nunnery P.O. Sidhpur- 176057 District Kangra Himachal Pradesh India www.tnp.org Ani Tenzin Palmo Dongyu Gatsal Ling c/o Eliz Dowling 3 Nassim Road #04-02, Nassim Jade Singapore 258371 www.tenzinpalmo.com Bibliography Aziz, Barbara N. “Moving Towards a Sociology of Tibet.” Feminine Ground: Essays on Women and Tibet. Ed. Janice Willis. New York: Snow Lion Publications, 1987. 76-95. Bass, Catriona. Education in Tibet: Policy and Practice since 1950. London: Zed

31 Books, 1998. Desal, Monsal PeKar. “Women’s Status in Tibetan Society.” Trans. Shi-Tsung Chen. Dharamsala: Multi Education Editing Center, 2004. Dolma Ling. 22 July 2004. Tibetan Nuns Project. http://www.tnp.org/nunneries/dolmaling/index.html The Geshe Degree. Nov. 1997. The Government of Tibet in Exile. 23 July 2004. http://www.tibet.com/Buddhism/geshe.html Mackenzie, Vicki. Cave in the Snow. London: Bloomsbury Publishing, 1998. Pachen, Ani and Adelaide Donnelley. Sorrow Mountain. New York: Kodansha America, Inc., 2000. Tibetan Children’s Villages. 2001. 10 July 2004. http://www.tibchild.org/TCV.htm Tibetan Nuns Project. 22 July 2004. http://www.tnp.org/index.html Tibetan Women’s Association. NGO Alternative Report on Tibetan Women. Dharamsala: TWA, 2000. ---. Tears of Silence. Dharamsala: TWA, 2002. Tsomo, Karma Lekshe. “Tibetan Nuns and Nunneries.” Feminine Ground: Essays on Women and Tibet. Ed. Janice Willis. New York: Snow Lion Publications, 1987. 118-134. Champa Choetso. Personal interview. 8 May 2004. Delek Yangdon. Personal interview. 5 May 2004. Dekyi Dolma. Personal interview. 5 May 2004. Dolma. Written questionnaire. 21 April 2004. Jangchup Dolma. Written questionnaire. 25 April 2004. Personal interview. 28 April 2004. Lhamo Kyi. Written questionnaire. 22 April 2004. Personal interview. 25 April 2004. Group interview. 25 April 2004. Lhondup Choedon. Personal interview. 28 April 2004.

32 Lobsang Paldon. Written questionnaire. 22 April 2004. Personal interview. 28 April 2004. Pema. Personal interview. 8 May 2004. Pema Lhamo. Written questionnaire. 21 April 2004. Personal interview. 25 April 2004. Group interview. 25 April 2004. Phunkyi. Personal interview. 28 April 2004. Sangay Tsamchoe. Written questionnaire. 22 April 2004. Sonam Paldon. Written questionnaire. 23 April 2004. Sonam Yangzom. Written questionnaire. 22 April 2004. Personal interview. 25 April 2004. Group interview. 25 April 2004. Tenzin Dolma. Written questionnaire. 21 April 2004. Tenzin Khamdo. Written questionnaire. 22 April 2004. Tenzin Palmo. Personal interview. 30 April 2004. Thupten Kunzes. Personal interview. 4 May 2004.