A Biblical View of Conflict and Its Resolution Week 1
The field of human conflict Led by Michael Holloway
http://www.calvaryrpc.org/SundaySchool/ http://www.logicteacher.com/conflict/
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the updated New American Standard Bible
Preliminary Matters - 1 P Do not assume that I am an expert in conflict resolution < I need this class as much as any of you do < Personal examples will be mostly of the here is something-not-to-do variety
P An important resource for the class is The Peacemaker, by Ken Sande < I encourage you to get a copy and read it < However, this class will not be a regurgitation of the book
Preliminary Matters - 2 P Slides will be on web site < Preliminary version: Saturday before class, for those of you who want to use it to help you in taking notes < Final version: Monday after the class
P Expect to work during the class < Frequent discussion < Occasional group exercises < Some homework assignments
Class Goals P To understand what the Bible says (both explicitly and by implication) about conflict P To learn how to distinguish between necessary and unnecessary conflict P To learn practical, biblically-acceptable methods for resolving conflict
Definition (OED) conflict ko.nflikt, sb. [ad. L. conflict-us (u- stem) striking together, shock, fight, conflict, f. ppl. stem of conflig-ere: see next. The OFr. repr. of the L. was conflit (= Ital. conflitto), often written in 15-16th c. conflict, after L.; this may possibly have been the immediate source of our word.]
1.a. An encounter with arms; a fight, battle. ... b. esp. A prolonged struggle. ... c. (without article or pl.) Fighting, contending with arms, martial strife. ... 2.a. transf. and fig. ... b. A mental or spiritual struggle within a man. ... c. The clashing or variance of opposed principles, statements, arguments, etc. ... d. Psychol. ... The opposition, in an individual of incompatible wishes or needs ... 3. Dashing together, collision, or violent mutual impact of physical bodies. ... 4. Attrib. and Comb., as conflict research, resolution, study.
...
Examples of Use (OED) 2.b. A mental or spiritual struggle within a man. C. 1430 tr. T. à Kempis' Consol; iii. xxii, For, one temptacyon or tribulacion goinge awey, anoþer comeþ, yea, som tyme þe first conflicte yit duryng; C. 1440 Gesta Rom. (1879) 374 A man..may abide the conflicte of all vices, but [lechery] he moste flee. 1557 Paynel Barclay's Jugurth 118 b, After longe conflyct had within himselfe. 1697 Dampier Voy. (1698) I. xviii. 496, I must confess that I was in great conflicts of Mind at this time. 1784 Cowper Task i. 668 Pale With conflict of contending hopes and fears. 1833 Ht. Martineau Loom & Lugger ii. i. 13 Amidst the conflict of feelings under which he now listened.
Examples of Use (OED) 2.c. The clashing or variance of opposed principles, statements, arguments, etc. 1875 Jowett Plato (ed. 2) IV. 38 Whether in some cases there may not be a conflict of principles. 1883 T. H. Green Proleg. Ethics Sect.324 There is no such thing really as a conflict of duties. 1883 T. H. Green Proleg. Ethics Sect.327 Authorities whose injunctions come into conflict with each other.
Biblical Use: 6 Verses (Jer 50:24) "I set a snare for you and you were also caught, O Babylon, While you yourself were not aware; You have been found and also seized Because you have engaged in conflict with the LORD." (Dan 10:1) In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia a message was revealed to Daniel, who was named Belteshazzar; and the message was true and one of great conflict, but he understood the message and had an understanding of the vision. (2Co 7:5) For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within. (Phi 1:30) experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me. (Heb 10:32) But remember the former days, when, after being enlightened, you endured a great conflict of sufferings, (Jam 4:1) What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?
Conflict Occurs ... P Within oneself P With others < With one other person (1 v. 1) < With multiple other people (1 v. n) < Among groups of people (m v. n)
P This class will be concerned mainly with conflict with others < Exceptions: next slide & next week
Conflict Within Oneself P Involving potential sin < Wanting to do something you know is wrong < Not wanting to do something you know is right Romans 7:15-23
P Not involving sin < Deciding among equally acceptable actions < Seeking to do what is wisest Romans 14 1 Corinthians 8; 10:23-33 1 Corinthians 16:5-12
Conflict with Others: Why? P Misunderstandings < Failure to communicate properly < Ignorance
P Relevant differences < Personality, interests, opinions < Priorities, goals, expectations
P Competition for limited resources < Particularly causal in organizational conflicts
P Sinful attitudes & actions
1 v. 1 Conflict: Examples P Paul & Barnabus concerning John Mark Acts 15:36-40 — (36) After some days Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us return and visit the brethren in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are." (37) Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, along with them also. (38) But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him along who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. (39) And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. (40) But Paul chose Silas and left, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord.
P Husband & wife; sibling & sibling P Employee & boss P ...
1 v. n Conflict: Example P Paul & Cephas (Peter) and the Jews Galatians 2:11-21 — (11) But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. (12) For prior to the coming of certain men from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the circumcision. (13) The rest of the Jews joined him in hypocrisy, with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy. (14) But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in the presence of all, "If you, being a Jew, live like the Gentiles and not like the Jews, how is it that you compel the Gentilse to live like Jews? (15) We are Jews by nature and not sinners from among the Gentiles; (16) nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified. (17) "But if, while seeking to be justified in Christ, we ourselves have also been found sinners, is Christ then a minister of sin? May it never be! (18) For if I rebuild what I have once destroyed, I prove myself to be a transgressor. (19) For through the Law I died to the Law, so that I might live to God. (20) I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (21) I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly."
P Individual & elders P ...
m v. n Conflict: Example P Daniel and friends & captors Daniel 1:6-15 — (6) Now among them from the sons of Judah were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. (7) Then the commander of the officials assigned new names to them; and to Daniel he assigned the name Belteshazzar, to Hananiah Shadrach, to Mishael Meshach and to Azariah Abed-nego. (8) But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king's choice food or with the wine which he drank; so he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself. (9) Now God granted Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the commander of the officials, (10) and the commander of the officials said to Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has appointed your food and your drink; for why should he see your faces looking more haggard than the youths who are your own age? Then you would make me forfeit my head to the king." (11) But Daniel said to the overseer whom the commander of the officials had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, (12) "Please test your servants for ten days, and let us be given some vegetables to eat and water to drink. (13) Then let our appearance be observed in your presence and the appearance of the youths who are eating the king's choice food; and deal with your servants according to what you see." (14) So he listened to them in this matter and tested them for ten days.(15) At the end of ten days their appearance seemed better and they were fatter than all the youths who had been eating the king's choice food.
P Church faction 1 & church faction 2 P ...
Legitimate Grounds for Split? P Mode of baptism P Style of music P Apologetics P Bible translation P Divinity of Christ P Eschatology P Sunday School P Works-based salvation P Degree of political activitism P Authority of the Scripture
Responses to Conflict P Three main categories of responses: < Attempting to escape the conflict < Attempting to escalate the conflict < Attempting to resolve the conflict
P Sande refers to these as < Peace@faking < Peace@breaking < Peace@making
Escaping P Deny the existence of conflict < Try to act as if there is no conflict < Ignore your role in creating or continuing a conflict < Pretend as if the conflict has been resolved
P Flee the conflict < End a friendship < Quit your job < Leave your church
Escalating P Verbal Escalation < Direct: put downs, yelling, obscenities < Indirect: gossip, slander
P Extra-Verbal Escalation < Physical: slapping, hitting, fighting, murder < Getting others onto your side < Litigation
Resolving P Involving only those in the conflict < Overlooking an offense (not same as denying) < Reconciliation < Negotiation
P Getting help from others < Mediation < Arbitration
Items Discussed Today P Class goals and modus operandi P Definition of ‘conflict’ P With whom conflict occurs P Some reasons conflict occurs P Scriptural examples of conflict P Possible responses to conflict
For Next Week P Homework — Find more examples in Scripture of conflicts P Send me specific questions or issues that you would like for us to address in this class < Email to
[email protected] < Paper to me personally
Note: Lesson title comes from Winston S. Churchill, “The Few”, House of Commons, August 20, 1940 Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
Tentative Schedule P Week 2: The violence of the conflict within us P Week 3: The consequence is numberless disputes and conflicts P Week 4: Continually coming into conflict P Week 5: Seemed the brighter for the conflict P Week 6: Thus avoiding any conflict P Week 7: Those dreadful enemies of mankind called words P Week 8: Some murderous conflict may well come to pass
Tentative Schedule
(continued)
P Week 9: Notwithstanding their conflicting interests and thoughts P Week 10: The conflict being thus necessarily terminated P Week 11: Opinions on the merits, more or less conflicting P Week 12: Far from abandoning the conflict P Week 13: Come forth out of the conflict transfigured